Dear KD: My Best Friend Is Ruining My Relationship

Dear KD: My Best Friend Is Ruining My Relationship

I am in a relationship with this guy, and we’ve been together for about a year. My boyfriend is based in America. The long distance relationship is tough, but we make it work. He is nice, loving and generous to me.

So he had plans of visiting Nigeria the end of the year, during the Christmas period. And he told me he’d be coming over with a friend.

And because he didn’t want his friend to be lonely, my boyfriend asked me to hook his friend up with someone. I recommended a friend of mine, a close friend of mine who’s like a brother to me, connecting him with my boyfriend so he could vet him for his friend.

However, my friend went on to start something with my boyfriend, chatting him up and spinning lies about me to him.

Now my boyfriend doesn’t trust me, due to the lies my supposed friend told him. And on top of that, it would seem that they’re on the verge of starting something new.

I don’t know how this happened. I don’t know how I got to this point, from being happy in a relationship to being on the outside, unloved and not trusted.

But I need to know what to do. What do I do?

Submitted by Chucks

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22 Comments

  1. Fred
    October 29, 07:47 Reply

    Do nothing! Anyone who believes shit from someone without verifying isn’t worth Ur stress… But in the other hand… I can recommend rat poison for Ur friend…

    • Norman
      October 29, 10:51 Reply

      Hearing something about someone rarely in itself changes anything about what we think or feel for them. For it to get to this extent, the boyfriend may have had second thoughts and noticed some things he has rationalized to validate whatever he heard.

  2. Johnny
    October 29, 08:00 Reply

    I don’t think you can do anything. Your boyfriend can’t believe you no matter what. I think your boyfriend is the hoeing type if he could believe all what your friend he has never met told him about you. He’s a player. Cut off that friend ASAP.

  3. J
    October 29, 08:16 Reply

    Don’t waste your time darling! Long distance relationship? Guy, no! But you said he’s generous, I guess you don’t want to miss that somehow 🤔 They’re probably looking for some wild fun in Nigeria during the holidays, and then you might be left in the trash can.

  4. Sly
    October 29, 08:19 Reply

    Long distance relationships are hard. They come with their challenges, but both parties have to be willing to fight for what they have if it is precious to them. Where only one person is making an effort, it does not work ever. If your “boyfriend” is intent on not believing you, and wants to start something up with your friend without giving you the opportunity to respond to the issues, and try to work it out together; then I am pretry sure he has no idea what love is, and you do not want to be with that person in the first place.
    Sometimes, some things are not just meant to be, and it will never help fighting over them.
    Take your peace of mind above all else.

  5. J
    October 29, 08:25 Reply

    And please be careful with who you call your friends okay? Most gays especially bottoms are envious, very envious! My so called friend was all over my ex-boyfriend and that was what led to the break-up. Run from any friend that wants to compete with you before they kill you oneday.

    • Mandy
      October 29, 08:31 Reply

      Tops are so scarce, bottoms will do anything, including backstab friends, to get ahead, right? 😀

      • J
        October 29, 12:25 Reply

        Tops are not scarce, they’re just being dicks.

      • Stretchy
        October 29, 19:46 Reply

        I can smell the sarcasm in this response. Nice one

  6. Mandy
    October 29, 08:28 Reply

    If your boyfriend can so easily believe the word of somebody else about your character, and is already thinking about dating him, then he’s not someone you should waste your time with. If it’s not your friend today, it’ll be someone else tomorrow. He should give you two a chance to see and talk (since Christmas is around the corner) instead of jumping to believe the first negative thing said about you. The most you can do is move on. It’ll be hard but you will be fine.
    Unless of course it’s the Americana generosity that you’ll lose that is paining you.

    • Francis
      October 29, 17:17 Reply

      Gbam! It will be hard to move on but it’s in your best interest and biko long distance relationships na serious work. Try short distance for a change.

      • Malik
        October 29, 19:42 Reply

        Honestly. This long distance thing….

  7. Keredim
    October 29, 10:30 Reply

    This is hilarious.
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • Francis
      October 29, 17:18 Reply

      For once in your life play nice guy

  8. Alamu
    October 29, 11:37 Reply

    Hello Chucks.
    Fight for your relationship.
    You know your man, talk to him and make him listen.
    If he loves you, that shouldn’t be a problem.
    That “friend”, get rid of him, he’s out to get you.

  9. Limitless
    October 29, 18:08 Reply

    Hey Chucks, best advice, be careful of whom you call “friend”. Some are wolves…..as for your ‘soon to be ex-boyfriend’, he doesn’t really love you. Else, he would have called you to find out if what he heard about you was true.

  10. Bells
    October 29, 18:12 Reply

    With friends like that what do we need enemies for? Well I don’t think there’s much you can do as it is right now. Let them be and move on(not easy I know) but trust me what’s your will stay no matter what

  11. Adichie
    October 29, 19:20 Reply

    Hey chucks, good evening.
    Fight for your man. Make him see reasons why believing someone he doesn’t know over believing you he has known for about a year is ridiculous. Find how you can disconnect both of them from talking. And if you guys survived a year. Then you are not his holiday object.
    But that your friend gaan. Shebi they want to connect you to another person but no.

  12. Dan
    October 29, 20:27 Reply

    Prepare a nice poison, invite your so called stupid friend and make him feed from those poison and die. I can’t stand envious people, they deserve death sentence. kill him.

  13. Chetam
    October 29, 22:12 Reply

    Have a serious talk with your boyfriend, give him a talk from your heart. Tell him how disappointed you are for him believing things about you. Tell him you are willing to cut ties with him if he wants to continue to treat you in a terrible manner.
    As for your “friend” have a talk with him too.
    At this point you shouldn’t be looking on trying to mend the relationships with the 2 of them, you should be looking to tell them how you really feel about what has happened
    Above all just be fine, it will hurt but then understand you deserve better and someone better is waiting for you.

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