Ever since I agreed to get on this beautiful trip of hearts with Kenny, I have adjusted my life in a number of ways to prevent the possibility of putting myself in an awkward situation. I’d started minding who I got out with, so I don’t get tempted to do anything that’d betray my relationship. I stay away from new acquaintances and endeavour to be comfortable with those Kenny calls his close friends, seeing as they’d be too much of a family with him to start anything with me, his boo.
And so, the Friday afternoon came when I got a call from Kenny’s good friend, Ekene.
From the other end, he said, “Hey, dear, happy birthday. I hope you’re having a swell day.”
I was bewildered. That day wasn’t my birthday and I said as much. “Maybe this call was intended for someone else, Ekene, because today is not my birthday. My birthday is in June.”
“Oh sorry,” he said. “I thought it was, must be a mix-up. Anyway, I’m in your town, just felt like I should tell you. I’ll call you tomorrow so we can go out.”
I was pleased by this, especially as we fixed for the going-out to happen in a creamery shop. This was going to be great. Or so I thought.
The next day was Saturday. I was anticipating his call. He texted, saying he’d get back to me before 4pm. According to him, he would be leaving the next day. I’d already notified the Bae of my impending outing with his friend, and instead of his usual blithe “Wetin concern me?”, what I got was “Hmm, be careful.”
I thought that to be odd. It soon became clear to me.
Ekene didn’t call or text until it was 9pm. He sent a text saying: Hello dear, can you come now? I’m in my hotel room.
His hotel room!
First of all, this wasn’t what we’d planned. This wasn’t the ‘going out’ I’d imagined we’d have. And secondly, why would he ask me to come over to his hotel room so late in the night, when I’d already gotten comfy in my bed, ready to retire for the night.
No way, mister!
I typed back: Aww, it’s too late. I can’t make it. Good night.
The next day was Sunday. I sent him a text, wishing him a safe flight back to base. He replied saying he was still in town and that we could still see that same day. I agreed. About ten minutes later, he sent another text, telling me he was with a friend and that he would like us to have a threesome.
For a moment, I read the message over and over again, to make sure I wasn’t seeing double. But the digital print was right there. My boyfriend’s close friend was taking it for granted that I would not only agree to have sex with him, but I would go as far as making it a threesome.
I was very disappointed. And it showed in my response: Ekene, you know I am committed to your friend. How can you suggest that?
He replied with a laughing smiley, and a message that called me a baby, adding that who would tell Kenny. He needn’t know, he said.
To avoid any stories that might touch the heart in the future, I screengrabbed the chat and sent it to Kenny. I didn’t see Ekene or spoken to him since this incident.
However, this has led me to believe that we are our own worst enemies in the gaybourhood. Gay people have absolutely no respect for relationships. In fact, it would seem that the more unavailable you are, the more appealing you are to the thirsty hoes prowling out there.
This is wrong.
Do not be the reason we keep saying that gay relationships don’t work in Nigeria. When two people make up their minds to commit to themselves in a relationship, it is a constant struggle every day, a struggle that is uniquely different from those of our heterosexual counterparts. Respect that this is something that they are trying to make work and do not present yourself a willing stumbling block to their progress.
Yes, cheaters will be cheaters, but there’s a difference between a boyfriend who steps out on his relationship all on his own, and the one who is hounded by someone else who has full knowledge of his unavailability. Seriously, guys! When a brother has told you he is unavailable, do not see that as a challenge to conquer him. Instead, see that as a reason to respect something in the gay community – that there are guys out there trying their best to make love happen in a world where they have said love inst ours to have.
Let’s stop being so predatory. Let’s stop being wolves, whose only mission is to claw and gnaw and tear and rip at things that are living.
Written by DI-Navy