Ever since I agreed to get on this beautiful trip of hearts with Kenny, I have adjusted my life in a number of ways to prevent the possibility of putting myself in an awkward situation. I’d started minding who I got out with, so I don’t get tempted to do anything that’d betray my relationship. I stay away from new acquaintances and endeavour to be comfortable with those Kenny calls his close friends, seeing as they’d be too much of a family with him to start anything with me, his boo.

And so, the Friday afternoon came when I got a call from Kenny’s good friend, Ekene.

From the other end, he said, “Hey, dear, happy birthday. I hope you’re having a swell day.”

I was bewildered. That day wasn’t my birthday and I said as much. “Maybe this call was intended for someone else, Ekene, because today is not my birthday. My birthday is in June.”

“Oh sorry,” he said. “I thought it was, must be a mix-up. Anyway, I’m in your town, just felt like I should tell you. I’ll call you tomorrow so we can go out.”

I was pleased by this, especially as we fixed for the going-out to happen in a creamery shop. This was going to be great. Or so I thought.

The next day was Saturday. I was anticipating his call. He texted, saying he’d get back to me before 4pm. According to him, he would be leaving the next day. I’d already notified the Bae of my impending outing with his friend, and instead of his usual blithe “Wetin concern me?”, what I got was “Hmm, be careful.”

I thought that to be odd. It soon became clear to me.

Ekene didn’t call or text until it was 9pm. He sent a text saying: Hello dear, can you come now? I’m in my hotel room.

His hotel room!

First of all, this wasn’t what we’d planned. This wasn’t the ‘going out’ I’d imagined we’d have. And secondly, why would he ask me to come over to his hotel room so late in the night, when I’d already gotten comfy in my bed, ready to retire for the night.

No way, mister!

I typed back: Aww, it’s too late. I can’t make it. Good night.

The next day was Sunday. I sent him a text, wishing him a safe flight back to base. He replied saying he was still in town and that we could still see that same day. I agreed. About ten minutes later, he sent another text, telling me he was with a friend and that he would like us to have a threesome.

For a moment, I read the message over and over again, to make sure I wasn’t seeing double. But the digital print was right there. My boyfriend’s close friend was taking it for granted that I would not only agree to have sex with him, but I would go as far as making it a threesome.

I was very disappointed. And it showed in my response: Ekene, you know I am committed to your friend. How can you suggest that?

He replied with a laughing smiley, and a message that called me a baby, adding that who would tell Kenny. He needn’t know, he said.

To avoid any stories that might touch the heart in the future, I screengrabbed the chat and sent it to Kenny. I didn’t see Ekene or spoken to him since this incident.

However, this has led me to believe that we are our own worst enemies in the gaybourhood. Gay people have absolutely no respect for relationships. In fact, it would seem that the more unavailable you are, the more appealing you are to the thirsty hoes prowling out there.

This is wrong.

Do not be the reason we keep saying that gay relationships don’t work in Nigeria. When two people make up their minds to commit to themselves in a relationship, it is a constant struggle every day, a struggle that is uniquely different from those of our heterosexual counterparts. Respect that this is something that they are trying to make work and do not present yourself a willing stumbling block to their progress.

Yes, cheaters will be cheaters, but there’s a difference between a boyfriend who steps out on his relationship all on his own, and the one who is hounded by someone else who has full knowledge of his unavailability. Seriously, guys! When a brother has told you he is unavailable, do not see that as a challenge to conquer him. Instead, see that as a reason to respect something in the gay community – that there are guys out there trying their best to make love happen in a world where they have said love inst ours to have.

Let’s stop being so predatory. Let’s stop being wolves, whose only mission is to claw and gnaw and tear and rip at things that are living.

Written by DI-Navy

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  1. Lopez
    October 20, 06:04 Reply

    I like it. We’re on the same page.

  2. Keredim
    October 20, 06:18 Reply

    They say “You can tell the character of a person by the company they keep”

    Is Kenny still friends with Ekene?

    • Mandy
      October 20, 06:52 Reply

      LMAO! Be a vessel for the Lord once in your life, Keredim.

    • Francis
      October 20, 09:08 Reply

      Better question. Maybe you’re the one seeing Ekene as Kenny’s close friend.

      Me no get liver to keep such a person as a casual acquaintance sef

  3. Mandy
    October 20, 06:50 Reply

    Clearly, from Kenny’s response to you when you told him of your hangout with Ekene, he doesn’t think of Ekene very much as a friend. Meaning he anticipates this kind of behaviour from him. Meaning Ekene must’ve built up a bit of a reputation as a hoe. lol. This is where we require Max’s input. 😀

  4. Law
    October 20, 06:58 Reply

    Where is lady MAXine?
    we need him here… Lol

  5. #Chestnut
    October 20, 07:33 Reply

    it’s really not funny, how disrespectful guys can be towards one’s relationship. some ppl have no regard at all for a relationship. even when u tell them u’re committed to someone, they laugh (literally, they LAUGH!), then go on to tell u how ur bf is prolly cheating on u right now with someone else. it’s really sad. I don’t know whether ppl get like that because they’ve become disillusioned from being hurt too many times in the past, or they’re just naturally like that. like, ppl whom u’re supposedly “friendly” with, wouldn’t hesitate to put moves on ur bf once u’re out of sight.

  6. .•*Sugaar.•*
    October 20, 07:52 Reply

    Vessel unto honor… ?????

    Ekene is a bad child in Jenifa’s voice. Ctew
    Ekene Counterfeit!!!

  7. bruno
    October 20, 09:13 Reply

    at first, this used to bother me. now it’s just a minor irritation. it’s amazing how much better life is when you start seeing alot people for the pieces of shit they really are and don’t expect them to behave any better…

    reminds me of the time an acquaintance came to spend the night at mine. he spent the day oohing and aahing over my relationship but that didn’t stop him from trying to get frisky in the middle of the night…

    that said, most people actually keep a respectable distance as a decent human being should. i have friends I’ve hooked up or been involved that have managed to keep things respectfully platonic now or at least quietly disappear. it’s just a handful that seem to have no regard for anything besides their dick. or maybe they just feel bad about what you have and would like to see it ruined.

    it’s even worse with bf. i’m a generally peaceful person but god knows i feel like stabbing someone – cobra king style – when he sends those screenshots.

    October 20, 10:06 Reply

    Gay’s don’t regard relationships.. tell them you are in a relationship that’s when they make the most joke outta you…

    Ekenekwam unu.

  9. swanky
    October 20, 10:29 Reply

    Seriously! just like keredim opined , i dont think your bf is different from the Ekene guy. I mean his response was weird ,implicitly he knows something of such would happen.
    And I didn’t get to read the part where he confronted Ekene…
    Your bf might be hiding something, his demeanour was too cold abeg.

    • Di-Navy
      October 20, 11:42 Reply

      who are you to compare my partner to Ekene?
      Did I tell you he didn’t confront him? oh! I think that part was omitted . Well, he did and he apologised sounding all defensive that he was just pulling my legs . people like Ekene shouldn’t be surprised to us because basically they are just everywhere in gaybourhood . He wouldn’t try such if my baby was in town ,he just threw his dice because he was outta the country and that was insulting for him to think I was gullible to fall prey.
      I don’t think they are close friend basically . I know people he call friends.

      • Francis
        October 20, 11:45 Reply

        Hmmm, pulling your legs. This one can’t even be steadfast in his hoeliness.

        • Francis
          October 20, 13:05 Reply

          hoeliness = I meant shamelessness

      • Keredim
        October 20, 12:07 Reply

        I am confused…they are not “close friends”, but you wrote:

        And so, the Friday afternoon came when I got a call from Kenny’s good friend, Ekene.”

        What is the difference between “close” and “good” friends?

        Who omitted Kenny’s confrontation with Ekene, from the story? You or the editor??

      • swanky
        October 20, 14:14 Reply

        Don’t be so defensive my dear. I didnt use the word “might” in my first sentence I guess thats where your problem is coming from but, I did use it in the last.
        My reply was based on your rant so I can’t be sorry for any omissions ( that’s if there’s any)
        And you asked who I am? I am a human like you who has been in love before, who has trusted someone so much only to find out at last that he’s not worth. That never changed my opinion of love but rather it helped me revamp.etc

  10. Jacques Dubois
    October 20, 14:53 Reply

    This is a terrible situation that has gradually become a norm. For those of us who are hardcore romantics, don’t lose hope…. Bad people will come and go, but a good relationship will become great after a few trials. These are your trials, you’re gradually making it through.

  11. Chizzie
    October 20, 15:41 Reply

    You should be mature enough to handle the ongoings of your relationship w/o making a fuss abt it, centering a post around it and running to “report” to your partner.,

    These things do happen in any relationship, gay or straight, so it’s not entirely a gay thing and doesn’t warrant the lecture on how we gays are our own worst enemies . Ultimately all that matters is how you handle such situations.

    You know the worst kind of couples are those that constantly feel the need to remind others that they are a couple, and suddenly become relationship experts overnight. We get it, you are in a relationship, you’ve found somebody awesome… Next!

    • ambivalentone
      October 20, 18:38 Reply

      Minus the fact that you are sounding a little bit jealous, I think the point of this whole….rant?? is to let on the wrongness (or rightness, for our overly virile n sexually aware beings) of this whole attitude. Unavoidable is UNAVOIDABLE and limits should be well recognised.

      • Chuck
        October 20, 19:05 Reply

        I think Chizzie is saying that a pass is not interesting enough for a blog post. That’s up to PP though, he determines what to push on this blog.

    • Jide
      October 21, 09:45 Reply

      Really. You spoke my mind; This is unnecessary.

    • KingBey
      October 21, 14:42 Reply

      You know the worst kind of human beings are those that feel they can come online and dictate what people should say or not. You didn’t have to comment. Maybe one day when you get to have your own blog, then you can dictate what comes up or not. For now, take several seats.

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