A lesbian has opened up about the desperate measures she took in an attempt to make her straight.
Writing in an op-ed for the Sun newspaper, 22-year-old Charlotte Malley bravely opened up about self-harm, being diagnosed with depression and sleeping with over a hundred men in a desperate attempt to change her sexual orientation.
Of a game of spin the bottle when she was 14, during which she kissed a girl, Malley writes: “It felt so right, but I was tortured by the thought my parents and friends would disown me if they knew the truth, so I started self-harming.”
Despite attending counseling, Malley said her mum sat in on the sessions, so she couldn’t bring up her oppressed sexual orientation as a possible contributing reason to her depression.
She says she “just kept insisting my parents’ recent split was to blame.”
Going on to say she lost her virginity at 16 to a guy from school she says: “I felt nothing for him. But, as it wasn’t too awful, either, I figured I’d get used to it if I kept trying.”
Continuing, she says: “I decided to meet as many guys as I could, seeking them out on Twitter, Tinder and dating sites.”
Over a couple of years, Malley says she slept with dozens of men, but says “The thought of seeing any of them a second time made me shudder.”
When she turned 19, Malley says she secretly attended a gay bar where “for the first time ever I felt comfortable.”
But she continued sleeping with men, as she “couldn’t face the truth.”
Eventually, Malley says she came out to some friends who were supportive, and eventually her parents.
She ends by saying she doesn’t regret “sleeping with so many men,” but she got a tattoo to cover up her self-harm scars.
The tattoo reads: “Don’t let your past determine your future.”