Waka Pass Diaries (Joromi)

March 4

Bae has this thing he does where he sends me songs he thinks I’ll like. And he’s always been spot-on about my musical tastes. It was through him I first got introduced to Simi. Her song “Smile For Me”. Then recently, I was listening to the song, and on a whim, decided to check Youtube for its video. From there, I began watching other Simi music videos, and before I knew it, I was downloading her album and listening and enjoying the tracks. All of them!

The one that especially got to me was “Joromi”. The music video is cute, and the lyrics quite funny.

Simi sings: “I dey give you signal (joromi) / Shey you no dey see me ah (joromi) / I give you green light tire (joromi Joro) / I go shoot my shot e o Joro / I dey wait for you since early mon mon (Call me later) / Me I want to be your lover…”

And this made me remember a female neighbour of mine who it would appear has been trying to Joromi me for all of the three years I’ve been living in this compound. There is nothing this babe hasn’t tried. She tried the “let me come and borrow pepper and salt from you” tactic, which I shut down when I made it apparent that I don’t cook.

Then she wanted to cook for me.

Then she wanted to help me with my laundry.

The time I worked for Customer Service, she was always coming to my door to ask me to help her with one phone issue or the other. Note how I said “door”, because I’ve never let her cross the doorpost. Not even when she came one night that she saw that I’d gotten back from work, that she wanted to say hi. And I was like, hi. She replied that it’s not at the door that she will say the hi na. And I said it’s not necessary for people to go inside houses to say hi.

I posted one time ago on Facebook about how my neighbour took to slapping my ass every time I walk past her wearing just my boxers. She’s the one. I also said on another post that my female neighbours complain jokingly to me about how I like prancing around the compound wearing just my boxers and how it’s improper. She’s the one. Then she took to tickling me whenever my back is turned to her and I’m not wearing a shirt.

A few days ago, I wanted something from her brother, and he asked me to go on inside their house, to the bathroom and take it. I walked into the room and heard water splashing in the bathroom. So I waited. Moments later, she stepped out from the bathroom, saw me and smiled, asking what I wanted. I told her what I’d come for and that her brother said it was in the bathroom. She smiled even wider and said, “Eh, why didn’t you just come in and collect it na? The bathroom door was not locked.”

I laughed and maintained myself.

Three years and this babe is on a relentless Joromi mission. The day I will show her a nude pic of me and Bae is coming very, very soon.

Written by Pink Panther