Kyler Prescott’s Profound Poem About Identity

In 2015, 14-year-old transgender boy, Kyler Prescott, aged 14 was found dead in his bedroom at his family home in Sa Diego. Kyler was born biologically female but only felt comfortable as a boy.

Caitlyn Jenner’s, The Secrets of My Life, upon debuting in 2017, featured in a chapter a heartbreaking poem the late trans teen wrote. I read the book awhile ago, and reread it just recently, and that poem has stayed with me, enough for me to decide to share it with y’all.

For all of us who are undergoing an identity crisis, who know themselves different from what the world knows, this is for you:

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The Secrets of My Life (pg. 45)

I think of Kyler Prescott slumped in the bathroom. I think of his mother finding him. I think of the poem he wrote. Not only was it unusually haunting and beautiful for a fourteen-year-old; it also captured the exact same feeling I had when I looked into the mirror and for so long saw someone I did not recognize. It captured the struggle in all of us.

My mirror does not define me:

Not the stranger that looks back at me

Not the smooth face that belongs to someone else

Not the eyes that gleam with sadness

When I look for him and can only see her.

My body does not define me:

Not the slim shoulders that will not change

Not the hips that give me away

Not the chest I can’t stand to look at

When I look for him and can only see her.

My clothes do not define me:

Not the shirt and jeans

That would look so perfect on him

But I know would never fit me

When I look for him and can only find her.

And I’ve been looking for him for years

But I seem to grow farther away from him

With each passing day.