Chizzie’s Jukebox (Episode 2)
Bitch Fit: A sudden intense rage, where one has the urge to smash valuables against a wall and must take deep breaths to calm tits and prevent from causing irrevocable harm. E.g. Chizzie threw a bitch fit the other day on KD.
Have you ever had the urge to smash your phone against the wall, to scream out for no apparent reason or to push someone down the proverbial stairs? Well, these songs should be playing when such an urge comes!
Here’s a list of top five wig-tossing Dramatic songs (aka songs to listen to when one is having a bitch fit).
California Dreamin’
Artist: Sia
Genre: Pop
Year: 2015
Sia turns an otherwise mundane 1960s song about craving for warm weather into a juggernaut of a track. There’s absolutely nothing subtle about her rendition, from her cascading vocals to its cinematic and dramatic beat and background vocals reminiscent of ABBA. On listening, there’s the feeling of being in a hurricane, where all that matters is the song playing and nothing else. Her cover is a perfect mash of old school meets modern sonic antics, and is ideal for when one is on a plate smashing and/or bed-sheet shredding rampage. It could also very well be her magnum opus as Chandelier has nothing on this one.
Which Witch
Artist: Florence and the Machine
Genre: Alternative
Year: 2015
OK, this one is not for the faint-hearted and you should probably reduce the volume of your headphones when this song comes on. It’s basically a raucous mix of wails, shrills, background chants, drums and trumpets that oddly enough work in a way that only Florence can pull off. It sounds like a battle song, but what exactly about, one wonders? Facing trial for witchcraft, or frustration over a long distance love? Only Florence knows. It also ends in an ominous hum that would leave you pleading the blood of Jesus and doubting that might work.
It’s perfect for coven meetings or when one is placing a hex on someone. *looks away*
Set Me Free
Artist: Charli XCX
Genre: Dark wave, Electronic
Year: 2013
Ever wanted to toss around your bed in great distress because of unrequited love? Well this song embodies all of that. It’s basically Gwen Stefani if she had a British accent and made a record using synths. The entire song feels like an experiment that works, and it’s hard to fit it in a particular genre. It can come across as being overly produced and unnecessary dramatic but Charli’s vocals remain velvety, like she’s calmly walking in the midst of chaos, which saves the song from becoming too ‘gimmicky’. Ultimately it leaves you going back for a second listen and falling in love with it, plus it also helps that Charli pronounces “can’t” as “kunt”.
Fourth of July
Artist: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Rock
Year: 2015
Fall Out Boy have a way of singing PG-13 rock songs, i.e. borderline rocks songs that you can listen to without compromising your Christianity. They’re like Rock’s version of Drake. This song is probably as hard rock as I’ll ever get. It’s loud and would have you nodding your head and resisting the urge to do the devil sign. It’s also perfect for all forms of disorderly conduct, and some of my most vitriolic comments have been penned while it was playing.
Honestly
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Genre: Pop
Year: 2011
Have you ever felt like yelling for answers? Well Kelly does exactly that in this song. She at first sings, then progresses into wails and screams that if one hates her, one should at least be honest about it. The listener is compelled to yell along with her, concurring that passive aggressiveness is for wimps and you’d rather have an upfront antagonist than one who leaves you guessing. Also the song is probably the go-to if you just love yelling.
Next week’s theme: Songs You Wish He’d Listen To!
You Should Probably Download this Song:
So I figured I’d incorporate this into this post. It’s basically a section for really good songs that are underrated but deserve some recognition and several listens.
This week’s YSPDTS is:
Tomorrow
Artist: Wynter Gordon ft Solomon Faye
Genre: Alternative R&B
Year: 2012
Everyone who’s heard this song pleads that I send it to their phones. It sounds like an easy listening early 90s song, but then Wynter’s voice is high pitched and gives it an unconventional appeal, like a medieval Roman Catholic choir vibe; and then there’s Solomon Faye’s rap which fits perfectly into the song. It’s a masterpiece that you’ll only get to comprehend if you give it a listen.
Much Ado About Adele
Most of you have probably heard about the new Adele song, (if you haven’t, what planet do you live on again?), and hopefully before this post is published, the buzz would have long died down and our tits long calmed. With that, let’s critically analyze this song. I think with excitement, one tends to lose a lot of rationality and reasoning.
The single is called Hello and in true Adele fashion, it is a ballad about an ex or a long lost love. Now Adele’s vocals are strong in this one much stronger than they were in 21, but I can’t help but feel that they’ve been “tweaked” a bit. The great thing about 21 is that her vocals were organic, you could hear every strain and every crack, but with Hello, she sounds a tad too studio perfect. Her voice lacks the vulnerability that was relatable in 21; or maybe it’s just me.
Hello follows the same format as with most ballads; start off slow, build up to a progressive hook, and then climax into a thunderous chorus. So it’s pretty much nothing ground-breaking. Adele plays the fiddle well, a little too well for my liking, and it comes across as playing safe. She’s not breaking any boundaries here, and delving into new genres. She’s still sticking to being same ol’ Adele. Some might like it, and some like me are indifferent about it. But apparently it is working, as the song has topped the iTunes chart in 88 countries (and counting), and is looking to debut high on Billboard’s Hot 100.
At the end of the day, is Hello a good song? Yes it is. But it’s typical Adele and seems like a continuation of Someone Like You. Hopefully, 25 come November 20th will be more eclectic.
Verdict: 3 stars!
Written by Chizzie
About author
You might also like
A HOE ABROAD (Episode 2)
Most of the guys in Lagos who I’ve had sex with know I don’t take defeat in bed. Sex is an art that should be enjoyed by both partners. Well,
THE HUSTLE OF A RAINBOW (Episode 7)
Have you ever been in love a second time? Have you ever been overwhelmed by a crushing feeling of affection towards someone? Have you ever just wanted to spend eternity
To All The Boys I’ve Loved (Entry 4)
Dear Eric, You changed my life. In many ways, you did. You might not know this but meeting you was a major highlight in my life. You taught me love
){kind=link}
52 Comments
#TeamKizito
October 26, 06:59Oh, I love this. Chizzie.
Hello.
KryxxX
October 26, 07:03She took her time.
We waited.
She finally came.
She delivered.
And we are loving it!
Safe or no safe!
It was worth the wait.
Perfection comes with much practice nd I think 3 abi 4 yrs is enough for one like Adele to achieve that “studio perfect” vocal prowess to an extent!
Sometimes when you dont know what to turn to you turn to what you know!
And Adele turned to what she knew best…………………… MELANCHOLY!
Max
October 26, 07:19Calforna dreaming is bae, had the song on constant repeat for days after I first heard it in the movie “San Andreas”. Sia is magnificent, she turned a boring song(I had to go check out the original) into something that is Grammy worthy.
About Adele, please leave the chick. Adele is bae?? and can do no wrong. She’s doing what she does best which is ” SING” just like Beyonce and Nicki are always selling ass and boobs*hello Pinky*. So please leave her alone for me. She looks a lot slimmer in the video too and I noticed the voice, it was perfect with zero distortion. I guess we ll know if there was too much editing when she performs it on live stage.
The song is a 9/10 for me. ?
Sinnex
October 26, 07:31Add Greenday’s Jesus of Suburbia to the mix and we would be just fine.
As for the Hello song, I still don’t get IT. There is nothing special about it or maybe the song would grow on me.
Iyke
October 26, 07:46You dont need to get!
You dont have to get!
And you might never get it!
I dont think you get anything anyways #JustSaying.
Sinnex
October 26, 09:02…and you are?
#TeamKizito
October 26, 09:44Lol.
Max
October 26, 09:03You know greenday? ???. Who would’ve thunk it..
Your comments always reek of wizkid and Nice.
Pink Panther
October 26, 10:43LMAO! Touche. Max!
lonz
October 26, 07:37OK. Sorry not sorry but how dare you?
Adele was so determined to make this album perfect that she delayed it for years. This album is way to late.
She would write songs then scrap then, she would sing and re sing.
The greater majority of the song she wrote did not make the cut. She was gunning for perfection and that is why music critics the world over are applauding her.
Hello is just one song from the album, which you have not heard all of and you say she is not breaking any boundaries. How many artist so easily switch genres, and I am talking of artist who are active in the process or producing their own music. There is nothing wrong with sticking to a genre.
3 stars. Let’s see a song you rate 4 or 5 stars. I am curious.
P.s I did not insult anyone. I feel I should add that.
Duke
October 26, 07:58Chizzie, on Adele, I loved Hello like crazy till people started blowing it out of proportion. It is a great song but really people! It is not that serious! My timeline on IG did not rest and I suddenly got tired of the song in just three days. I switched to J.B “Sorry” and I got tired after a whole day of repeat and reading arguments that he should have used black girls for the dance video or the song was for Selena Gomez.
I can’t wait for a new song to take my mind off these songs of last week and I quite agree with you on Adele but will reserve my opinion till the album drops. There is always that one song she makes that takes me to some place I can never understand.
drizzle
October 26, 08:12Well, I thought I was the only person not feeling the ‘Hello’ song.
I can’t deny Adele’s talent but I’m still trying to love the song. I hope when she finally drops other songs, they’d be better than this..
Chizzie
October 26, 08:23Oh dear Pinky what happened to the Wynter Gordon album art? Do i send it again? its arguabe the coolest album art ever, actually bummed its not up 🙁
Pink Panther
October 26, 08:43I didn’t get it from you though.
Chizzie
October 26, 09:56Sent to your email few minutes ago ?
Wealth
October 26, 08:46Really if you don’t know about music please don’t spoil other peoples work, hello is a blow,it doesn’t matter which genre all that matters is the deliverance. The song was quite predictable but it’s far from imperfect and boring. So please appreciate her not criticize her. Great job@chizzie
Tiercel de Claron.
October 26, 09:29“Most of you have probably heard about the new Adele song,(if you haven’t,what planet do you live on again?)”
I live on Planet Earth and I haven’t heard it.
Thank God!
KryxxX
October 26, 10:29Right!
But I’m very sure you must have heard Mozart’s latest though. Just came out on Itunes a minute ago.
Tiercel de Claron.
October 26, 10:45Sharrap,Imp.
Listening to Bach now,J.S Bach.
Now that’s music,not all these cacophony of sounds with no suggestion of melody being churned out these days.
Pink Panther
October 26, 10:46Lol. *smh* You’re such a grandfather, TDC.
Max
October 26, 10:54Such cattiness, just what we’ve come come expect from the likes of you @Tdc
Tiercel de Claron.
October 26, 17:35Catti gini?.
Only you saw that,I’m sure.
You and I having same taste in Beethoven tho……….strange
KryxxX
October 26, 11:02Tufia!
Some ppl wee always be sounding like something Shakespeare wrote and forgot in the catacombs of Westminster Abbey i.e. If they have any, and got unearthed in 2015! Definitely not surprised!
Francis
October 27, 22:57LMAO! Punto en boca!
Diii'Okpara
October 28, 17:21🙂 ‘#uLike? the Bach Cello Suites?
Eros
October 26, 12:44HAAAYS! Uncu stop dia! I actually love Mozart and Beethoveen.
Max
October 26, 13:56Beethoven’s midnight sonata is bae ??
Pink Panther
October 26, 10:42Lol. TDC, right from time immemorial, we always knew you don’t exist in the right quadrant of Planet Earth. 😀
Peak
October 26, 09:30Well a 3 star sounds fair to me.
Hello just screams basic from the high heavens. Like 21, 25 and the Hello song are on to a good start, thanks to the hype machine propelling them. One thing I love about Adele, is that she is an amazing storyteller. Ppl will always gravitate to what they can relate to. Adele, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift does that effortlessly. Adele played to that strenght and did it beautifully with Hello.
The problem with Adele is that all her songs sounds almost the same. Vocally, she is not that strong or dynamic. She is neither a naturally “WELL” gifter singer or a well trained singer. Though she seems to emote well enough for ppl to get into her stories which is a great thing. Hello would easily be an album filler for someone like Kelly Clarkson, jasmine sullivan etc. I heard a few but almost missable runs and harmonies, other than that, nothing memorable about the song. 4 years of waiting only 2 serve up set fire to the rain 2.0. That doesn’t show growth. Artists are generally expected to push the envelope and challenge themselves. Adele and her team are sticking to the old formula, which seems 2 be working fantastically for her, but I can’t help but see the big SAFE sign on her career and artistry.
Chizzie
October 26, 09:54Haaaainnn! Obala Jesus. Harsh much? In all fairness its actually a phenomenal song, regardless of whether it sounds jaded and safe, its still better than half of what we have on radio now. And comparing Adele to Kelly Clarkson? Haba now
Peak
October 26, 10:14Phenomenal? I don’t think so! Someone like You is phenomenal and timeless. Hello = HELL NO!
Kelly Clarkson would sing Adele to Pluto and back with both hands tied behind her back. Adele is an amazing song writer and delivers her stories with a good dose of believability. Other than that, everything about her is hyped to perfection.
KryxxX
October 26, 10:34Are we about to have a Diva off btw Adele and Kelly Clarkson? Seriously?!
Ppl need to fear God shaa…
#ThingsWeHearOnKD
Pink Panther
October 26, 10:36As in eh! In a bid to sell Kelly Clarkson’s market, Adele has now being almost equated to No Talent. Odiegwu o.
Max
October 26, 10:11Pinky, where are you?
This dude deserves jail time for spewing such atrocity here!!!!!.
Negodu, just negodu.
Shes one of the last true singers around. She not vocally strong?? Really? Have you ever watched her live performances?
Her live performance won an award(set fire to the rain). Her stage voice sounds the same like her studio recording . are you seriously kidding me? You’re not very good at music, not at all, if you think Adele is not a very good singer. I’m not surprised though, you’ve always had a way of letting talent elude you.
Don’t ever say such a thing about Adele ever!!
That lady sings her heart out and when she does, the world listens. You’re not the only one on earth though, so your opinion doesn’t count.
She’ll always be here, making millions and you’ll be here hating and calling her mediocre.
You want a singer to dive into every genre before you know she’s talented abi? How many artistes are able to do that? So someone cannot be good at one thing again?
You’re one of those people who shouldn’t partake in the dirty business of critiquing people, really you shouldn’t and I don’t need to remind you why.
Pink Panther
October 26, 10:17Max, Peak’s music idol is Rihanna. That should tell you something.
Max
October 26, 10:57Chimoo!! ?????.. Rihanna is a phenomenal singer, but she’s no way in the league of Adele. Alu!!.
KryxxX
October 26, 10:19Lmaoooooo!
Hahahahahahahaaaa! Ndi musical head! Music head people! I hail thee Sir Peak!
Peak
October 26, 12:19**I guess some ppl need schooling**
@Max, I have heard Adele live, infact I prefer some of her live performances to the actual record.
The question I want to ask you is have u heard Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke or Paloma faith live? (They are all Brits like Adele FYI)
If those aren’t up to par, have you heard Jhud, Agulera, Beyonce, Fantasia, Brandy, Tori kelly etc live before? She doesn’t measure up to some of the above mentioned artists in terms of vocal power, techniques, and vocal dexterity.
Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Aretha Franklin, Patti LaBelle, these Legends in their primes, had the vocal power to match their level of success. When u compare Adele’s juggernaut success with her abilities (song writing aside) she doesn’t measure up. It has nothing to do with hate. I listen to Adele, the factthat I’m not buying to her hype doesn’t make me a hater. I want her to do more push herself, prove the naysayers that she deserves they hype. There are tons of underrated acts who can do 1hat she is doing better that she can. She is just more main stream and has a big machine behind. The only argument worth listening to here is Chizzie saying she is making meaningful music. When u compare her sound to the generic-catchy tunes that labels are churning out, Adele seems like a ray of light.
Rihanna is no where near the word Phenomenal! She can’t sing to save her life unless she is standing in a particular spot. She might have a Unique and clear tone since Whitney, but successful holding and hitting notes right has never been her forte.
@PP, ppl stan for artists not just solely for the music, their background, likeability and branding also plays a vital role in drawing consumers in subconsciously. So ur logic is serious flawed. Can we say ur love 4 Diaz and Aniston is a reflection of ur taste and knowledge about movies/good acting?
No one is selling Kelly’s market. Her time has come and gone. Vocally, she is superior to Adele. You are welcome 2 take it or leave it. #YoutubeSaysHi.
Max
October 26, 12:26All the singers you mentioned above are all good, the problem I have with you is saying that Adele is not a well gifted or a well trained singer because that’s just plain wrong. In fact its considered blasphemy in Britain(you might be stonned to death).
Give her the credit she deserves, dazzal I’m saying.
Peak
October 26, 12:49I never said Adele is not a good artist/singer. I gave her props 4 here song writing, I have her props 4 how well she can emote (which a lot of singers can’t do and a huge deal. Whats the point of ur message if u can’t convey it properly? ). All I’m saying is that her hype needs to be backed up with something more substantial. Something that is undeniably solid. Celine’s catalogue is predominantly ballads and mid-tempos. How many ppl can say her songs sound the same? Or the vocal styling and arrangements sound the same?
No one can call out Whitney during her run at the top because she does so effortlessly. I’m don’t care 4 Beyonce, but among long list of things I can fault her for, her singing is not one of them. Yes, she can lipsynch 4 the gods but she is not just a naturally talented singer, she is also well trained. some of her techniques and vocal executions would show you that she has gone through some serious training and know s her vocal ABCs. I’m using Bey as a staple bcos she seems to be the resident benchmark on KD. Adele is not as naturally “Well” gifted vocally as Bey, neither does she sound like she is half as well trained vocally as Bey.
Peak
October 26, 12:27Oh dear lord! Sorry Y’all 4 the plenty typos.
Pink Panther
October 26, 15:03Whoa! You actually praised Beyoncé, eh Peak?! You actually had something nice to say about Beyoncé?! Hallelujah!
#TeamKizito
October 26, 09:49Tsk.
*Np: Adele – Hello.
Colossus
October 26, 10:06Good song choices though Charli XCX never seemed to give me much listening pleasure.
Now, for Adele. The song is typical Adele, basically the same ol same ol and I guess the reason why some of us did not really jump off the cliff for it was as a result of an ‘over saturated anticipation’. I kept listening to the song all weekend and kept having the feeling something was off. Went back to listen to 19 and 21 again so I could compare to this single but kept still getting that ‘something is not right’ feeling. Maybe I’ll have to wait for the entire album to give it a listen, maybe.
I guess when you’ve anticipated an album for 3years, you expect world hunger to be solved magically, the moment Adele opens her mouth.
Blaq
October 26, 12:46Chandelier has nothing on California dreaming… Based on what please?!
Your list doesn’t really come off as songs I would listen to during a bitch fit… These songs would probably not make any lists apart from yours… What happened to i love it by icona pop or my songs know what you did in the dark by fallout boy… Which witch would not be an aftermath of a bitch fit but actually responsible for it!! Well it is your jukebox so… Play on…
Errr… One more thing… Please download the original Adele album when it drops. If you keep getting the pirated ones you ll probably still be hearing ‘cracks and strains’ up and down… 3 stars… Even critics wey na their work and sabi music pass you rated it higher… Mschew… Oshisco
Delle
October 26, 13:24Well too much drama already. The only thing I wanna say is this: Next time Chizzie, do something that incorporates my Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll in it…I don’t know what, but just try.
Thank you.
PETROVICH
October 26, 13:32All these arguments on top wetin na…Me sef dey find person to argue Mozart and Beethoven about ooooo…
Diii'Okpara
October 28, 16:57lolz @Petrovich, oya naa…Even though both composers had a bias for the former, here goes: the violin vs. the ‘cello…which sings better, and why? 🙂
Temi Cole
October 26, 13:53Adele! She makes loneliness and heartache like a good thing!
Beautiful song, really looking forward to the album which will definitely do very well because of the anticipation and also because it will probably be a very good album too! With writing skills and a voice like that you can hardly go wrong…
Haven’t heard most of the songs from your selection but I can tell your taste leans towards eclectic and further away from mainstream. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a snooze-fest but do your thing man!
*bobs head to* share the gala, share the booze…
JustJames
October 26, 16:46Trying to compare all these artistes is like trying to compare dodo with pizza and with ice cream and with eba. Each of them is unique in their own way.
Bikonu just find the song that makes you feel the way way you want to feel and stop trying to create argument when there shouldn’t be any.
wealth
October 26, 22:22I agree with james,buh peak don’t judge her that way,wait till she performs the song live on stage then you can judge it that way,why compare adele with beyonce and brandy? You know much well they have different voices. At least she wrote hello,which one did you write. I don’t know why people criticize people’s work while they’ve not even reached where the people they’re criticizing have reached. Abeg I don’t buy all this crap you’ve been saying,like what james said they are all good in their ways. You should compare people like beyonce and jenifer hudson. Beyonce doesn’t sing adele’s type of song so as adele doesn’t sing beyonce’s type of song. Bro she’s making her millions,whether you buy or not or whether you listen or not,your opinion doesn’t count,she’s got millions of fans.
Diii'Okpara
October 28, 16:51Nice work, @Chizzie.
Bey may be “overrated”, but she sure does have a grasp on the bare essentials of a well trained performing artiste. Personally i think a J.Hud or a Brandy possess much richer vocal talent, but Bey excels in “emotive” singing than the other two aforementioned – I’m so all over this lyrics and vocals now: naughty-boy-runnin-lose-it-all-feat-beyonce-and-arrow-benjamin