A Kito Story Gone Wrong . . . Or Right

A Kito Story Gone Wrong . . . Or Right

bigstock-Happy-Black-Man-4158483It depresses me when I read kito stories of brothers who are bashed, battered, robbed and extorted by unscrupulous human beings whose final resting place is as much in hell as the rest of the Nigerian public say ours is. But it’s one thing when an anti-homosexual lot entraps a gay man. When the entrapment is orchestrated by a fellow gay man, it hurts. It burns like a wound inflicted by a pressing iron, and which is so searing it promises to take a long time to heal. Someone once said on this blog that there’s a special fiery hot place in hell for such disloyal brothers. I believe that. I also believe that such hell can be manifested for them right here on earth.

That is why this kito story I’m about to narrate is one I savoured with great relish when I heard it.

This story happened to a friend. He is from Mbaise, a local government area in Imo State. He lives there with his folks, who are well-to-do. He met some hot guy online, one so attractive he developed the hots for him. After some chatting, they decided to get together. A hook-up date was made. As is usual with most Kito cases, this online hot acquaintance of his said it would be better if they hooked up at his place. And so, my friend went over, and before long, they had gotten down to business.

And then – boom! – the hoodlums who had been lying in wait barged into the room, and set about beating my friend up. The money he had on him was taken, and since he had his ATM card with him, they were able to finagle the money he had in his account as well. His phones and other valuables were also stripped off him.

Then they got greedy. Seeing as he’s from a wealthy home, they took compromising pictures of him, and told him they would release him to go get more money for them, or else they would make the pictures public. The dude agreed, and a date and venue was fixed for the money collection.

But my darling friend isn’t stupid. And had the resources to get back his pound of flesh. He set about organizing some tough Mopol men, officers who he narrated his ordeal to. (I’m pretty sure one of them must have been his sweetheart or something) And the story was tagged a case of Kidnapping.

And so, my friend’s assailants, numbering about six, came over to the rendezvous on the D-day for their money, and were all rounded up by the waiting Mopol men. They were promptly whisked off to the station, all the while being clobbered as they had my friend. At the station, they were treated as Kidnappers, and thrown into cells. In a country where almost anything goes, you have to admire when the law, however wrongly applied, actually does some good. Currently, they are still behind bars, with a bail of 100k each hanging over their heads.

Talk about poetic justice.

Written by King Bey

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“It happened in Kano. I met the guy on Badoo, and we agreed to hook up at my place.  After he arrived, he said he has to use the toilet,


  1. Dennis Macauley
    August 28, 04:52 Reply

    Now that is what I am talking about! Sometimes we cower away too easily and hide leaving them to karma who has a long list of people to get to. Sometimes we should help karma a little, she’s a busy woman.

    • xpressivejboy
      August 28, 05:51 Reply

      …and she laments on how much of assistance she needs; it’s a good thing we’re beginning to take charge of the situation. Brave One!

    • Gif
      March 29, 00:01 Reply

      I think i remember this story! Funny enuf i was in the same cell with those guys but i was on a different parole! Was arreested for weed and wearing military combats. The policemen den described d boys as homo kidnappers. They really dealt with them.

  2. maxonex
    August 28, 05:17 Reply

    This got me smiling… Finally, a happy ending for a change…

  3. Dominic
    August 28, 06:00 Reply

    Iv never had a kito experience before. I try to be careful and would rather err on the side of caution but I swear if anyone mess with me and try some blackmail issh, na acid bath things. If them dey read this blog they shld be warned I swear! He who has ears let him hear what the spirit is saying!

  4. Neon
    August 28, 06:01 Reply

    *sigh* Watch the tables turn… Finally, someone gets a piece of the gall pie. Of course, it was a risky move, but totally worth it. Karma is indeed a very busy bitch… She’s all around the world getting about her business, its hightime we assisted her a little.

  5. Ruby
    August 28, 06:02 Reply

    Mmmmmmmmm… Music to М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ ears! I’m glad dat we finally gave Karma some assistance cos dat gurl is wasting so much time in visiting some Douchebags who need her anointing stat!
    We need 2 stand up 4 ourselves n not cower away in fear. Arm urselves with pepper spray, mace n if possible learn a little of hand to hand combat *n a little weapons training* cos ƔU̶̲̥̅̊ never know when ƔU̶̲̥̅̊’ll need any of them.

    • xpressivejboy
      August 28, 06:06 Reply

      LOL! Ruby, seems you’re the wIfe to Robbin of the Hood.

    • trystham
      August 28, 07:40 Reply

      Who needs pepper spray? Body sprays are much as potent. He wud b weeping perfumed tears for at least 2 mins.
      I begin to pity these guys some. You know all these forgotten ‘innocents’ who spend yrs in prison before their trials? This sounds like another case.

  6. gad
    August 28, 06:10 Reply

    This is heart warming! I don’t know if I can have the time or expertise to write a story but I’m begining to consider sending in the 3 kito cases I have been involved in personally and the ones that has happened to my friends but which I was called in to assist. Of course all the kito attempts never succeeded.it usually turn against d criminals.people say,its because I’m a military guy but I still think it has a lot to do with knowing our laws ,the psychology law enforcement and not being ashamed of who you are.

    • pinkpanthertb
      August 28, 06:19 Reply

      Abeg Gad let’s have them stories! 🙂 email them to pantherptb@yahoo.com You don’t have to be a good writer. Just put down the skeleton of the gist and I’ll dress it up for our reading delight.

      • Absalom
        August 28, 06:26 Reply

        Write it, Gad, write it! *jumping up and down*

    • KingBey
      November 27, 13:08 Reply

      Errrmmmm….Gad, your a military guy? Did they not tell you that my greatest fantasy is to hold a military guy in my arms? *hot flashes* Please if you get this reply and would want to know me personally, Pinky knows how to arrange that. *blushing*

      • gad
        November 27, 15:26 Reply

        I will send my pin to his highness, Pinky for onward transmission to you.

        • gad
          November 27, 21:49 Reply

          You can contact Pinky for my pin.* blushing*

  7. Dennis Macauley
    August 28, 06:16 Reply

    I am curious! Nobody accused him of cooking this up as it wasn’t reported online? Or is it just Dennis who has an active imagination?

    • pinkpanthertb
      August 28, 06:24 Reply

      Hahahahahahahaa! Oh that shade is real. And direct to… Wait that’s none of my business. *stirring milk into my tea and sipping*

    • trystham
      August 28, 07:43 Reply

      You must av branched off the high road u usually take. Don’t lose focus.

      • Dennis Macauley
        August 28, 09:50 Reply

        Sweetheart, I’m having an exceptionally great morning! So I’m happy! You will read about it soon! I love karma, as busy as she is, she always delivers

  8. Absalom
    August 28, 06:36 Reply

    Dennis, na only you waka come oh!

    • Dennis Macauley
      August 28, 06:37 Reply

      Absalom my darling, you too? Chai! Diarisgodooo! All this shade you are sharing diarisgodooo

  9. King
    August 28, 08:20 Reply

    .Nice turn the tables for a change !!! Pinky where is my story oooooo…checking which bat am gonna use on ure head soon!!!!

    • JArch
      August 28, 09:42 Reply

      Lmaooo!!! King has written a story…. This is so not happening right now. Kids cover your eyes, cos his story will be PG21 (yea its going to be that explicit its unsuitable for anyone below 21)

  10. azriel24
    August 28, 09:39 Reply

    Classic case of “victim becomes victorious” . i love the fact he didn’t just go back and cry, he had to fight back this is what we have to do as people of minorities.. sometimes use what you have and Fight for Injustice and Bulling . FYI.. this is Power Bottom… Or top to me .,,SNAP!!! fingers

    (yay My First comment)

  11. Khaleesi
    August 28, 11:24 Reply

    I swear I dont get how a tb guy in a homophobic shithole like Nigeria can sleep at night knowing that he has endangered another tb who is innocent. I mean how do they sleep at night? how do they feel when they enjoy the ‘fruits’ of their evil deeds? I shall never be able to understand it!!
    I felt a massive rush if euphoria when I read this. dear Lord, we need more of such stories! I however think the story was too brief, I would have wished the writer went into more detail like some other kito stories weve had in the past. I hope those criminal thugs spend at least 6months in pre – trial detention! !

  12. Koteh
    August 28, 12:40 Reply

    What a great way to start the day…..Gives more hope and courage to the gaybourhood

  13. Legalkoboko
    August 28, 17:54 Reply

    Now that’s the kind of story I’ve been itching to read here for a long time now!

    Serves them right! The whole lot of them. Since the idiots took advantage of the homophobia in our society by robbing fellow gay pips, I cannot frown at the guy who decided to beat them at their own game by exploiting the decay in our criminal justice system. YES YES!!

    I think lady kama now contracts some guys to do her biding. Lol!

  14. Ruby
    August 28, 18:41 Reply

    @xpressivejboy… М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ boo’s a paralegal buh he can sure kick ass *when he wants 2*
    Dat said, I aint afraid of N̶̲̥̅̊☺ kito cos М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ boo’s got М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ back any day, any time.

    • xpressivejboy
      August 28, 19:14 Reply

      Ruby Dearie, don’t know if I’m to say I envy you. *sigh* Say me Hi to him.

  15. Razzajeburra
    September 03, 10:55 Reply

    Oh my! Such sweetness for my darling soul. I should be reading things like this often. God bless karma…God bless America

  16. victor banks
    January 02, 02:01 Reply

    Lunatics talk for Lunatic People. Its so clear you are speaking tru your ass, well you guys have just proven to be monkey but how ever i believe he (David Gold) is the Zoo Keeper.

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