Are There Really Any Strict Tops?
I’ve noticed the recent conversation surrounding sex roles, and considering my experiences in the past, I just have to ask: Is there any such thing as a Strict Top, or are these guys simply strictly top for who they are not so attracted to and versatile when it’s convenient for them?
As a short introduction, I’m Paulo, I’m 28 years old and I live in a small city in the East. I have two close gay friends here (actually, it used to be a throuple, and then it was dissolved and we stayed friends). They’re Dave and Chike, and we all live close to each other. Dave is what some gay guys would call a Power Bottom, while Chike with his obvious masculinity and big dick is Vers Top. I too am Vers Top.
Even though I haven’t had as much sexual experiences as my friend, Dave (yes, he is a big hoe), I have had enough to make me question the whole idea of gay guys who identify as Strict Tops. I’ll narrate two of such experiences.
One of them happened when Chike told me that he would be bringing some guy named Mark, who he met on Grindr, to my place for sex, and that I’d be welcome to join in if I wanted. I of course was interested, and so a date was fixed.
Note: Chike lives in one of the houses in his family compound and Dave also lives with his family. I am the one who lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and so, oftentimes, they use my place for their hookups.
When Chike brought his hookup, Mark, over, the guy was clearly ill at ease, probably because Chike didn’t tell him that it would be a threesome. It wasn’t long before he left and the hookup didn’t happen.
Fast forward to a month later, and I was on Grindr chatting with guys, when Mark buzzed me. We soon recognized each other and then we exchanged phone numbers and moved the conversation to WhatsApp.
After a few weeks of chatting, he said he wanted us to hook up, and that he would like to play Versatile during the sex. I was okay with that. But the hookup didn’t happen when we scheduled because according to him, he was going out of town. After a few weeks however, he chatted me up one morning, saying he wanted to come around so we could have sex. This time, he wanted to just top me because he didn’t like bottoming. I disagreed, and after that chat ended, I deleted his number in vexation.
Now, it would appear that Mark also chatted up Chike that same morning, wanting to hook up with him. Chike agreed and told him to meet him at my house. Mark supposedly asked him if I was going to be around. I wasn’t (I had someplace to be later that morning), and Chike told him so. And so, after I left, Chike called him over. At this time, Chike knew nothing about my earlier conversation with him.
Two hours later, I was back and knocking on my door. It took about ten minutes before Chike came to the door. At this point, they were already on their second round. I walked into the living room to find Mark seated on my sofa in just his boxers. I couldn’t believe my eyes. And when he looked at me, he didn’t even have the decency to be shame-faced; instead he looked at me with this smirk that seemed to say, “Yes, your friend fucked me in your house. Eat your heart out.”
I was furious. I wasn’t even mad that he bottomed for Chike. I was mad that he had the guts to come to my house for a fuck the same day he turned me down because I wouldn’t agree to sex where he’d be the only top – and yet, here he was, having exclusively bottomed for Chike.
I felt both humiliated and angry, and I promptly asked him to leave my house at once. He hadn’t expected that, but he got dressed soon after and left.
When Chike chatted him up later that evening to ask why he’d lied to me that he didn’t like to bottom, he replied – and his exact words were – “I can’t bottom for that your friend. And it seems you are into your friend too much.”
The second experience was with Dave’s friend who he introduced to Chike and me as Ebenezer. Ebenezer and I were about the same age, and he usually came around from another city. According to Dave, he was Top. Whenever he visited, he would stay at my place because of the privacy I have which Dave didn’t. The first time he visited, it was to see Dave, and they fucked. The second time was because of a stopover, and there was more sex with Dave. The third time, he had a threesome with Chike and I; he topped the two of us. It was actually after that third visit that I exchanged phone numbers with him. We soon started chatting on WhatsApp and he told me how he was into me and how he wanted us to be closer and fuck more. I told him that if he wants us to fuck more, then he should be ready to bottom because I am Vers Top and would also want his ass. He disagreed, saying he doesn’t bottom. And so, I told him that it wouldn’t work between us, sex-wise at least. He took that rejection to heart, and our chats deteriorated to the point where we were no longer interacting.
Now, during Ebenezer’s second visit, Chike had linked him to a friend of his, KC, who stays in the same city as him. KC, according to Chike, is Top. After my conversations with him stopped happening, he called Chike to complain that he’d been trying to get with his friend, KC, but KC keeps ghosting him and acts like he doesn’t want them to hook up. So, Chike called KC to find out why, and KC said he doesn’t like him and doesn’t want to fuck him because Ebenezer isn’t physically appealing to him.
I chuckled at this. So, here was Ebenezer, who told me he doesn’t bottom, running after and panting for KC to fuck him. Who did he think he was fooling?
There are other occasions similar to these two I’ve narrated, insincere sexual experiences which have led me to believe that so-called Strict Tops are only tops when it suits them.
Written by Paulo
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64 Comments
Ken
July 30, 08:15TBH I felt quite disturbed just reading this. It’s not just the serial random fucking (which I am totally not a fan of) it’s also the narcissism and selfish character of just about everybody in this story. Like seriously?? Ok. And besides there’s nothing insincere about sexual preferences. There are strict tops, guys who will never bottom. It may be either because of biology, experience or just plain ego. To each his own. There’s more to being gay than just hopping from one preeq to another.
Paulo
July 30, 14:33Depends on what you classify from random fucking , if by having sex with different guy ones in 3 to 4 months is what you classify as random fucking, then you are misguided because i have seen worse.
Rock
August 02, 09:17First you see a guy and wonder if he is gay..that’s if u fancy him.Thats 1 in 10 guys on a good day.
Then if he is gay,the next step is if he fancies u too.Trust and believe that some folks will never find u attracive even if u tick all the boxes.
Then if all things align and u two meet up.. here comes level 3
The preference huddle.
Is he top and u r top?Sorry.
Even if he is verse..there is still a problem cos he may never see u topping him or something like that.Thats what this story is all about.
In summary,its easy to see why the average gay guy is the loneliest and oftentimes the most sexually frustrated person in the world.There is a lot of hang ups and issues and egos at war here.
I always say this: We will keep having these issues as long as bottom shaming exists.Why it exists even baffles me cos the male g spot is even buried deep in the anus.
As per the op asking the guy to leave his house,a person with self respect will not wait to be told to leave.Goes to show the level he is operating on.
Mitch
July 30, 08:25Okay, this is all some Telemondo-level drama shit! I honestly don’t see the need or necessity for putting oneself through these hurdles in the name of trying to fit into a niche. People like what they like, when they like them.
PS: I find it rather pathetically hilarious that nobody bats an eyelid when someone who identifies as bottom tops someone in bed. If anything, the reactions we have are of surprised pride in the person. But when a person who identifies as top happens to bottom, it becomes a reduction of his ‘top-ness’ (whatever that shit is!)
It is disingenuous, to say the least, to insinuate that there are no strict tops out there, that every top is a hot man/attraction/whatever-the-fuck-else-y’all-come-up-with away from bottoming.
Can people just like what they like?
Haba!
Ken
July 30, 13:28Gbam!
Paulo
July 30, 14:35Mitch i am not saying there aren’t any strict tops, but if there is, then they are very few.
well at least not the few i’ve met.
Rock
August 02, 09:22Me thinks the problem comes when you wear the ‘i am strict top’ badge but you will bend for people you really really like.The stricttop tag comes from the shane associated with bottoming.
The question should what do you like in bed?
Jason
July 30, 08:58? I think you just had your ego bruised really. I don’t see what is wrong with someone not wanting to burst it wide open for you but doing so for your friend. It’s a free world and people are entitled to what they want or who they want it with.
That you’re not strictly top doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who are.
Come to think of it, why do people keep doing this sef, I mean if it’s a bottom saying I am strictly bottom a lot of people won’t have a problem with it but ones the tables are turned it’s a whole thing.
Personally I do not like to put labels on anything, I allow chemistry do it for me.
So dear uncle Paulo you need to work on that mind set because its problematic. #loveandlight
Paulo
July 30, 14:37Yes my ego was bruised but not because he didn’t want me, but because he came to my house to rub it in my face. Who does that? if you don’t like someone will you still go to the persons house to fuck his friend?
Jason
July 31, 08:56But from what I read, he asked if you’d be there and you weren’t supposed to be. So you just happened to be at the right place at the wrong time
trystham
July 30, 09:01Na una tops and verses get wahala. Me, I ayam a strict bottom. That ‘you don’t look like a bottom’ nonsense annoys the shit out of me.
Meanwhile, dearest Paul, after u kicked unku out of ur house, did it remove the fuck that they fucked from their bodies? You sound so petty, entitled and childish. Its no wonder nobody wants to fuck you.
That said, I really think this fuck/be fucked thingie is dependent on the degrees of attraction AND perception. But it really would help if ppl were firm in whatever they claimed they are instead of shifting goal post to suit every prick
Pink Panther
July 30, 09:08“Na una top and verses get wahala. Me, ayam a strict bottom.”
????? There’s something so prideful and “OYO is your case” about this comment that made me laugh so heartily.
Paulo
July 30, 14:43I think you missed the point, i wasn’t angry because he agreed to fuck with my friend, i am only angry that he came to my house to receive dick. If you yourself don’t like someone will you go back to their house for fuck? And i am not in anyway childish. And to answer your question, no, It didn’t remove the fuck from their bodies.
Flexsterous
July 30, 18:23Your second paragraph is it for me, he is like a child throwing tantrums when doesn’t get his way
Zoar
July 30, 09:19??????
Exactly how I reacted all through as I read on.
I think this story is making my last argument in the previous story more weighty.
Roles are always subjective and fluid as much as Sexuality is also fluid and subjective and it’ll always remain that way.
People Lie for whatever reasons about their roles and I have come to realize this because of Experiences and I have come to give everyone a chance to be themselves knowing how these things work in real Life.
We should know how to accept the obvious Reality about Roles and be at peace with people because someone who said he’s Top here might be a Verse guy or a Power Bottom for some other guy(s).
After I saw Knight/Castro/Knockout/KraveMelanin etc who I could swear could never allow a finger up their asses Bottom and even do it Perfectly well on camera (which is the bravest thing to do considering their history of playing Tops and having a building like gods). I have trained myself to not be surprised again whenever I hear of a “Strict Top” Bottoming. So I just mind my business. And anytime someone comes up with that “I am a Strict Top” Line. This is usually my internal reaction(???) but I don’t make it known to them as I just keep “Minding My Business”.
It’s still has to do with Masculinity/Dominance/Patriarchy and Narcissistism.
It’s there in our world.
I think my argument in the previous post is made clearer by this new post.
Happy Holidays to our Muslim Brothers.
Paulo
July 30, 14:47Yes Zoar, i agree with you. I was actually your comments that made me to write this story.
Zoar
July 30, 16:12God bless you ??? for this.
Wish I can give you an E-hug from here.
It felt like I wasn’t making any point back then but I’m elated now that people are talking about this in this post and the comments are still confirming what I’ve been saying all along.
Pink Panther
July 30, 16:20How nice. It does feel good to have freedom of speech, isn’t it? To discover that not everybody is against you, isn’t it? That there’s inclusion here after all, hmm? 🙂
Zoar
July 30, 16:31You deserve an E-Hug Pinky.
It’s so bad that the comment section doesn’t have room for real pictures and memes like WhatsApp.
But I’m extremely happy for two reasons:
1) been that I’ve got mad Love here and I feel like I’ve got a family here too. There’s no Joy as great as that.
2) Because the issue is what everyone has experienced and are relating to it and the comments are making people to realize that they really need to be more accepting of people’s decisions and stop being judgemental because I know that if people ain’t extremely judgemental about these things, more people would be free to live their lives more openly about lots of things.
God bless you??❣️? Pinky ???☺️☺️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Uzor
July 30, 22:14Omd! How are you this wonderfully crafted snide and sarcastic creature?? ??
Tj
July 30, 09:20Actually had this conversation with a couple of friends. Its fine if you bottom for my friend and you want to top me. My problem is when you come to me as strict Top. That shit annoys me. I have had sex with someone and the D was good but later heard the guy is bottom. I do not care Cos truly, anyone is no strict shit. They have not just met with someone they want to try things out with. But its better to come out plain.
Earl
July 30, 09:35sides – leaves this groupchat??
We can’t relate biko???
Pink Panther
July 30, 09:38?????? You’re just a nonsense person.
Eal
August 01, 12:22????
slender
July 30, 13:23groupchat notification::: Earl left, Slender followed ???
Tops and bottoms palava ???, be a side, they wont listen.
Flexsterous
July 30, 18:29I was about to say that oo my brother, let them be killing themselves while we watch, with popcorns, on the sidelines
Flexsterous
July 30, 18:43“Sidelines” I just caught the unintended pun I made.
Zoar
July 30, 19:10Seriously I’m totally amazed about the number of Sides we have even in Nigeria.
That we could have this number reading Kitodiaries that’s to say they’re quite much in number generally.
I didn’t know there are people who can get total sexual satisfaction without using their sex organs for penetrative purposes. That’s they can’t fuck and be fucked and they’re Totally cool with that.
Maybe I’m more conventional/orthodox but we learn everyday and I am open to learn new things too.
This post is really indirectly educating and enlightening some of us.
Stretchy
August 01, 13:01Hahahahaha…. Yes oooo Sides left the convo
Lopez
July 30, 09:39Exactly, there’s no strict whatever I believed. Someone mentioned here( I don’t remember who) that with the correct enticement everyone will shift roles. For some it is money, some it is love, some it is attraction, it can even be plain curiosity. There’s preference but there’s no strict whatever. I respect people’s choices but i don’t condone lying, never will.
Pink Panther
July 30, 10:05I’d like to respectfully ask you something: so you don’t think someone can be a strict bottom? That someone who identifies as bottom can decide that no amount of enticement or circumstance would ever make him wanna top?
Greenleaf
July 30, 10:22Actually it’s not the case. Majority thinks being strictly bottom or power bottom is a thing. But Top? Oh hell no! I don’t get what’s so special in being a top or strictly top or whatever, we are all for sexual pleasures, if the dick fucks you to your satisfaction, what does it matter if the person has bottomed before. Na wa ọ!
B
July 30, 10:23I personally don’t bottom because i had a medical issue in my teens that deterred me from ever trying it out,not to detract from the criticism around people being afraid to express their desires to bottom publicly due to toxic masculinity but this isnt necessarily the case in all situations.
Paulo
July 30, 14:51i have strong opinion that it has to do with Money and Attraction.
Greenleaf
July 30, 10:17I’m seeing this from two angles, the writer’s ego is hurt badly that the guy didn’t want him topping him but was okay with his friend doing that. Choices hon.choices. Don’t be bitter over it, it’s about the attraction,you can be verse and still not want some certain people topping you even though you top them. So if I wanna top you and I don’t want you doing same and you’re not cool with that, that’s fine.
Secondly the strict top thing, while I don’t fancy people saying they are strict tops, a top is a top ain’t nothing strict about it. A top that has bottomed once or twice for experiment sake is still a top regardless. And can you blame people who say they are strictly top? The need for that arises when you tell someone you’re too and. They question it, ask if you’ve never bottomed or tell you to try it and there goes the “No! I’m strictly top line.
Paulo
July 30, 14:57Yes, my ego (or would i say feelings) was hurt. But it wasn’t because he rejected bottoming for me , but because he came to my house the same day after rejecting me to btm for my friend. Who does that? i don’t mind them going somewhere else to fuck. I felt that he came to my house to rub it in my nose that he doesn’t want me.
Lopez
July 30, 10:27Yes, that’s my stand.
Pink Panther
July 30, 11:17Lol.
And if I told you that’s who I am, you’d call me a liar?
Mitch
July 30, 11:53??????
You are a nonsense trouble maker, I swear.
Pink Panther
July 30, 12:48Mitch, every time I see these comments about how there is no this or that, I look at myself as an example and I laugh. People be making absolutes in a community that’s about diversity… The irony is just hilarious.
Lopez
July 30, 12:28No, I’ll not. May be you’re one in a hundred exception.
Pink Panther
July 30, 12:45Thank you for making my point. Glad you came to the conclusion that your comment was false. The assumption that no strict anything exists because everyone is a circumstance away from playing another role is fallacious, and it contradicts with what you also said about respecting people’s preferences. Because how can you respect people’s preferences if you also think there couldn’t be a preference that’s strictly one role?
But thanks for making that point with your very own words.
Paulo
July 30, 15:00Well you wouldn’t blame me for having that opinion from the few experiences i’ve had with strict tops.
Unless , i see otherwise i will be sticking to it.
Do
July 30, 12:37When asked I say I’m fluid.
I give off top vibes apparently because I can be controlling and dominant sexually (and I do infact top more) however under certain conditions including attraction I would bottom.
I’ve had a bud tell me I’m a power bottom and a power top….Whatever that means.
I prefer people to just relax.
Someone once asked me over to fuck him because “I’m not into the community and it won’t leak out cos out there he is a strict top”. I sighed and banged that godless ass. Still….. Wouldn’t life be much easier without these stresses of labels?
Zoar
July 30, 14:41I’ve learnt a new word for Roles now
“FLUID”
This is new and refreshing ??☺️☺️?
Preach on Do.??
Lopez
July 30, 13:52My statement was not false, there’s always room for error in any study, 0.05% is not even significant and here you are at 0.01%. in what way you’re going to invalidate my statement. My point was majority of people will swing roles with the proper incitement, say 99% of the time. May be I’m wrong.
Pink Panther
July 30, 15:53I’m an “error in your study”?
LMAO! What study?
You are throwing out statistics as if you have carried out a research to conclusively tell you who belongs where. Are you serious? 0.05%… 0.01%… LMAO! Where are you getting these figures from? Who told you that I belong in a minority that small? How many people have you slept with that showed you how general it is that people are just the right circumstance away from being fluid? Where do you get off turning your opinion of generalisation into a fact that big? Show me a study, a survey, a research that shows that “majority of people will swing roles with the proper incitement, say 99% of the time.” — anything that isn’t your opinion of the way the world works.
SMH.
Bleh
July 30, 17:03Your personal experience is anecdotal though you literally can’t make assertions with that but if you insist direct us to your research,we would love to learn something new
Franky
July 30, 14:14At first I got irritated why reading this because of the kinds of words you used the bluntness of those words, the slut shamming, calling someone a HOE while you are a saint, isn’t it hilarious!. You being a little bit petty and immature by sending him out, the fool trying to prove a point to you about how he’ll never bottom for you, and then chike that doesn’t have a house or privacy or even money to Lodge his own guests and make them comfortable, it just shows how irresponsible he is..
But at a point I just got to understand that this story talks about life and people, how everyone has a lot flaws and insecurities and how we still have to put up with all those shenanigans.
I used to enjoy bottoming so much maybe because it was the first encounter I ever had, so I just stuck with it, not until my boyfriend (partner) who identified as top woke up one morning and decided that he wants to bottom for me. Mehn the first time I tried it, it was wierd and it felt off to me, but frequently I got used to it, now we just switch roles continuously and make love until we reach our climax. It’s always a pleasurable sex ????…
Zoar
July 30, 14:49You’ve got a very nice BF that’s really considerate.
Wishing you guys more understanding and Love.
Like Do has said, Roles are “FLUID”?☺️☺️
If we all Respect People’s decisions at all times to do whatever Pleases them without being judgemental, then these Fluidity of Roles won’t even matter anymore.
Demi
July 30, 16:14I feel we all need honesty in all these sexual thingy.. If u identify as top and a vers top or vers or vers bottom asks to top you, if u av been topped b4 I don’t think its so bad to admit that u av bottomed b4 while u kindly decline the offer, letting them know perhaps u are not attracted to the person to top you, or you just don’t feel like or wateva it is than to blatantly lie or lie bcos u feel bottoming is shameful or low and say ya a strict top and then off u go being a bottom elsewhere, we can all agree the dishonesty stings and messes with ones self esteem…
All these convoluted preferences just complicate issue sha.. I identify as vers and I av only dated tops, funny enough I always bottom and almost all the time in my relationship d top always ask to bottom for me (happened in like 80% of my relationship) and I never ever ask, sometimes its better to stay in your comfortable role and be contented and oftentimes u never know u myt get to play the other role…
Zoar
July 30, 22:34The only problem and the reason we are having this intriguing conversations times and times without number is simply because THEY NEVER OWN UP TO BOTTOMING BEFORE.
And we know it’ll be extremely difficult for them to own it up especially when they’re already fantasizing about devouring the other Party while keeping their own asses intact.
It’s easier said to admit to Bottoming but in reality these guys don’t admit to that so they don’t loose the supposed narcissistic aura they think they’ve created for themselves to the other Party. So they never tend to want to lose their guards which is majorly the problem. Instead they opt for the easiest option which is “LYING” and it’s funny because you LIE about your actual Role and you still want that LIE to be “Respected” when it’s obviously a LIE??
How foolish would you look when he finally finds that you ain’t no “Strict Top” afterall? Will the betrayal not be even worse?
If they’re truly being sincere atleast it’ll be understandable but they’re also Lying and want their Lies to be Respected. Isn’t that even ironic?
This is seriously a major problem within our community. It is, seriously.
Marvey
August 01, 21:29This comment is the best relatable comment I read so far that I just had to comment. Typically what’s going on with me.
Mandy
July 30, 16:17How are we members of the gay community and we are entertaining a debate like this? How are we the very representation of letting people love who they want to love, and yet some of us are here insisting on how we should do that loving?
Whether there is a strict top or strict bottom… Whether he lied that he doesn’t bottom or that he doesn’t top… Whether he fucked you and then got fucked by somebody else… Whether he was top yesterday and became bottom today and decided not to bottom tomorrow… Whether people are having random sex many more times in a week than you’d have in a month… Whether there are 99% of people just waiting to change their sex roles if you give them the right enticement or not… Whether sexual preference is fluid or static…
WHO. FUCKING. CARES!
JUST LET PEOPLE BE!
As long as that nyash or dick he’s serving hasn’t hurt you in anyway, LET PEOPLE BE.
My god! You’d think that a community that sings these things like a song to homophobes would learn to give that same allowance to those within its community.
Black Dynasty
July 30, 22:41This, respect people’s choices, it’s ok for them to reject you and keep it moving. Life continues, it’s really not that serious.
The hang ups with sexual roles really is baffling and is ultimately rooted in sub-conscious (perhaps even conscious) views of those who bottom as being “less than”. This is an unfortunate way to see the world and deny yourself pleasures you desire because of what others will say or think… smh.
Lopez
July 30, 16:46Where did I mentioned I conducted any study? I mentioned may be you’re one in a hundred,hence that will not be significant. Giving another statistical example that error occur in any given sample(even mentioned I might be wrong)… But you choose to just argue and drag, arguing strict bottom exist but not strict top. See it the way you want. Who cares!
Michael
July 30, 17:31I don’t give a flying fuck about your role. I am versatile for a reason. I didn’t want sexual roles to block any dick or ass for me.
If you like lie about your role, I don’t care as far as the fuck is nerve racking, we are good.
Paulo
July 30, 20:54Thanks to all.
For those who called me petty or other names. I want to make something clear here.
My only anger was him coming to my house. Otherwise I don’t fucking care who he fucks or he refuses to fuck.
For Christsake you can’t reject me but want to use my house for your fuck. Mba nu, lielie, can’t happen.
And for those who says they don’t care about your role, my Dear I fucking care. I can’t go all out to please you while you wouldn’t do the same (even though it’s in your capacity to)
Chike
July 30, 21:20I think one can be a strictly top if he is either new in gay world or he has not met that one person that will wow him enough to give bottoming a try.In Paulo’s case, the annoying thing is when the guy lied about his role (being strictly top)and you eventually found out otherwise ( he is verse).I know the feeling especially when you want to fuck the guy as well.
The question is why do we lie about their role?
Uzor
July 30, 22:23If they are collecting penis but they said no to your own, quietly move on and find someone that wants you. All the analytical studies and label boxes you people spend quality time to craft and chuck people inside, they’re completely unnecessary. Do your own thing, leave others, Dey your lane, mind your penis and leave other people’s own.
Chike
July 30, 23:33It doesn’t affect him. And it’s not his biz. It becomes his biz when they decided to bring their fuck to his house.
Zoar
July 31, 10:20Uzor and your lines are extremely amusing ????
Which one is “Collecting Penis” ???. That line just made me LMAO ???.
Astar
August 01, 00:09I’m strictly top and never bottom. I can’t stand the thought of being dominated on the bed. So I’m never on the receiving end be it analingus or anal sex. I love blowjobs though.
I also know that I can’t take a guy coming down from my body and going for the next available ass. I will just die.
I’m open to trying bottoming, but in a committed long-term relationship. Then I will know it’s a sacrifice for love.
So being strictly top it’s not a disability or lack of anything. Just sexual preference which can change.
Chike
August 01, 15:32“I also know that I can’t take a guy coming down from my body and going for the next available ass. I will just die.” this part got me rolling on the ground in laughter.