I’ve noticed the recent conversation surrounding sex roles, and considering my experiences in the past, I just have to ask: Is there any such thing as a Strict Top, or are these guys simply strictly top for who they are not so attracted to and versatile when it’s convenient for them?
As a short introduction, I’m Paulo, I’m 28 years old and I live in a small city in the East. I have two close gay friends here (actually, it used to be a throuple, and then it was dissolved and we stayed friends). They’re Dave and Chike, and we all live close to each other. Dave is what some gay guys would call a Power Bottom, while Chike with his obvious masculinity and big dick is Vers Top. I too am Vers Top.
Even though I haven’t had as much sexual experiences as my friend, Dave (yes, he is a big hoe), I have had enough to make me question the whole idea of gay guys who identify as Strict Tops. I’ll narrate two of such experiences.
One of them happened when Chike told me that he would be bringing some guy named Mark, who he met on Grindr, to my place for sex, and that I’d be welcome to join in if I wanted. I of course was interested, and so a date was fixed.
Note: Chike lives in one of the houses in his family compound and Dave also lives with his family. I am the one who lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and so, oftentimes, they use my place for their hookups.
When Chike brought his hookup, Mark, over, the guy was clearly ill at ease, probably because Chike didn’t tell him that it would be a threesome. It wasn’t long before he left and the hookup didn’t happen.
Fast forward to a month later, and I was on Grindr chatting with guys, when Mark buzzed me. We soon recognized each other and then we exchanged phone numbers and moved the conversation to WhatsApp.
After a few weeks of chatting, he said he wanted us to hook up, and that he would like to play Versatile during the sex. I was okay with that. But the hookup didn’t happen when we scheduled because according to him, he was going out of town. After a few weeks however, he chatted me up one morning, saying he wanted to come around so we could have sex. This time, he wanted to just top me because he didn’t like bottoming. I disagreed, and after that chat ended, I deleted his number in vexation.
Now, it would appear that Mark also chatted up Chike that same morning, wanting to hook up with him. Chike agreed and told him to meet him at my house. Mark supposedly asked him if I was going to be around. I wasn’t (I had someplace to be later that morning), and Chike told him so. And so, after I left, Chike called him over. At this time, Chike knew nothing about my earlier conversation with him.
Two hours later, I was back and knocking on my door. It took about ten minutes before Chike came to the door. At this point, they were already on their second round. I walked into the living room to find Mark seated on my sofa in just his boxers. I couldn’t believe my eyes. And when he looked at me, he didn’t even have the decency to be shame-faced; instead he looked at me with this smirk that seemed to say, “Yes, your friend fucked me in your house. Eat your heart out.”
I was furious. I wasn’t even mad that he bottomed for Chike. I was mad that he had the guts to come to my house for a fuck the same day he turned me down because I wouldn’t agree to sex where he’d be the only top – and yet, here he was, having exclusively bottomed for Chike.
I felt both humiliated and angry, and I promptly asked him to leave my house at once. He hadn’t expected that, but he got dressed soon after and left.
When Chike chatted him up later that evening to ask why he’d lied to me that he didn’t like to bottom, he replied – and his exact words were – “I can’t bottom for that your friend. And it seems you are into your friend too much.”
The second experience was with Dave’s friend who he introduced to Chike and me as Ebenezer. Ebenezer and I were about the same age, and he usually came around from another city. According to Dave, he was Top. Whenever he visited, he would stay at my place because of the privacy I have which Dave didn’t. The first time he visited, it was to see Dave, and they fucked. The second time was because of a stopover, and there was more sex with Dave. The third time, he had a threesome with Chike and I; he topped the two of us. It was actually after that third visit that I exchanged phone numbers with him. We soon started chatting on WhatsApp and he told me how he was into me and how he wanted us to be closer and fuck more. I told him that if he wants us to fuck more, then he should be ready to bottom because I am Vers Top and would also want his ass. He disagreed, saying he doesn’t bottom. And so, I told him that it wouldn’t work between us, sex-wise at least. He took that rejection to heart, and our chats deteriorated to the point where we were no longer interacting.
Now, during Ebenezer’s second visit, Chike had linked him to a friend of his, KC, who stays in the same city as him. KC, according to Chike, is Top. After my conversations with him stopped happening, he called Chike to complain that he’d been trying to get with his friend, KC, but KC keeps ghosting him and acts like he doesn’t want them to hook up. So, Chike called KC to find out why, and KC said he doesn’t like him and doesn’t want to fuck him because Ebenezer isn’t physically appealing to him.
I chuckled at this. So, here was Ebenezer, who told me he doesn’t bottom, running after and panting for KC to fuck him. Who did he think he was fooling?
There are other occasions similar to these two I’ve narrated, insincere sexual experiences which have led me to believe that so-called Strict Tops are only tops when it suits them.
Written by Paulo