The Proposal: I Am a Gay Man Looking For A Lesbian Partner

The Proposal: I Am a Gay Man Looking For A Lesbian Partner

So yes, I am gay and I’m looking for a lesbian partner.

Partnership here implies a friendship. We can decide to have a child or two through adoption or other measures based on our agreement. Sexual relations is of course not part of the contract, and you would be free to have your own partner(s) and life, as long as you carry on with it discretely, just as I intend to do.

Living together (in the future) is possible, but not a must, depending on the nature of our careers, amongst other things. We must not get married, if you are not into that whole nine yards – just as long as our partnership is something that our relatives will perceive as romantic.

Summarily speaking, the most important aspect of this partnership is that relatives and the public see us as a couple; but in reality, we’re simply each other’s good friends.

About me: I am Nigerian, in my early 30s, well educated and independent, with a promising career. I travel regularly at the moment, because of the nature of my career.

The woman I am hoping to partner with should be independent as well, with a thriving job of her own. Even though this isn’t a must, but I would want for her to be able to speak Yoruba as my family tends to communicate more with Yoruba than English. You can practise any religion you want, as long as you are not extremist about it.

Anyone who is interested and has further questions should please contact me on the email address

Thank you.

Submitted by Bamidele

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  1. Seethe
    February 17, 07:12 Reply

    I feel like someone needs to start a match making service for this.

    • Pink Panther
      February 17, 07:14 Reply

      I know, right? I mean, considering the many requests I get on this issue, I would. But it seems like a HUGE responsibility with expectations that I couldn’t possibly deal with.

  2. Elima
    February 17, 09:20 Reply

    I know of someone who has the intention of starting a match making service for the community, but it can’t be done by just a person

  3. Úwaọ́ma
    February 17, 09:41 Reply

    This is an honest and good thing to do .
    I am bisexual.
    I don’t like marriage naturally with man or woman .
    I can have sex with any .

    I am working towards this too .
    In mine ,I would never like to feign Marriage. Just two single parents ,who are not married but taking good care of thier kid /kids ( together) to the best of their abilities.


  4. Ken
    February 17, 12:01 Reply

    Does this ever work out as planned?? I dunno, but it seems all to fantastical

    • Modd
      February 17, 15:03 Reply

      Well it could if they are really good friends already. If they are not good friends (like this scenario will be), I don’t think it’ll be advisable to have kids until they are.

  5. Dre
    February 17, 13:17 Reply

    I’m here for the match making service, if it works out, it would really be helpful to a lot of people in the community…

  6. Anti
    February 17, 18:59 Reply

    I will be needing something like that too
    The pressure is getting to much at me

    • Pink Panther
      February 20, 07:59 Reply

      As long as you’re okay with his boundaries, then sure. Go ahead and email your interest to him.

  7. Community makes a difference
    February 22, 17:58 Reply

    When will this stop ?

    We are never going to get the freedom we deserve by continuing this and now people want to start offering some service on it ??.
    This is a great disservice to the community.

    I know that this is no mans first plan in life but we can’t continue to give in and live with chains.
    If all the amazing queer activist did this …what would have been the state of our community world wide ?.
    Things don’t change until will change it.
    To think that a fake partnership is all it take to love free and safe in this country is not just clear disaffirmation of history, it is also deep self dishonesty.
    Just like the way we are currently dealing with the issue of internalized homophobia, we need to start dealing the whole unnecessary or maybe arguably necessary self imposed unhelpful coming out ideologies…. The whole “be independent before you come out” ,”why come out, no one cares” ” just live your life in peace ” .
    I don’t know about you but I have come to understand that what’s at stake is my life …that just one slip, all the proudly held discreet titles will vanish. I see it that if I can’t live for myself, what then am I living for. Too scared to die yet have nothing to live for.
    I’m 20 and my closet is choking to death already. This is my first comment here BTW cuz I was deeply saddened going to the post and comment box cuz I mean, I have spent most of my entire quite time this year thinking of all the things and dreams of mine that we be mere fantasies cuz I’m planning to dedicate my life to queer liberation i n this nation. To think that there are millions of queer people in Nigeria whom are going through worst situations than the one am currently in is disheartening. Also, there are a lot battles to be fought and we can’t afford internal wars of ideologies. We all need to start rejecting these compromising ideas.
    Must have a lot of typos in this message cuz i’m just pouring out my heart .
    Before you start lecturing me on how I have not seen anything in this life cuz am 20, just know that there are 16 year old queers (minors) who have seen a greater deal of this hateful society than any of us have ever seen. Maybe think about them sometimes, before you make selfish decisions.

    Pardon any typo.
    Love and light.

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