Four Dark Walls

Four Dark Walls

It was a Sunday like every other Sunday in my life.

Sundays are that special day of the week that I believe God Himself chose to sit back with a bottle of Chardonnay and be entertained by an amazing new TV series titled: “Let’s Talk about Richard.”

As I laid right next to James, my crazy young ‘supposedly homophobic’ cousin, he couldn’t help but notice that I still felt uncomfortable over what went on between us last night and a couple of days before that.

“What’s up, bro?”

Usually, I would instinctively yelp the words “I’m fine”, but today was different. Not because of who I happened to be, but because of the kind of person James has become – which, of course, is meant to be a good thing.


Weeks ago, I attended a jazz music festival. and that was where I met Christopher – charming, funny, smart young lad like myself (pardon me for sounding so narcissistic, if I actually do). Next thing, we exchanged numbers and BBM pins, and we couldn’t spend up to thirty minutes without saying anything to each other while online.

Hold on, we were just friends – without the benefits.

Of course, this went on for a long time, until one day, I decided to bring him home to my family. This was a big deal, because I never invite my friends over, partly because of that one fateful unforgettable day when my grandmother confronted me about some gay porn she came across on my phone (the news got to a couple of people in the family but that’s a story for another day).

Long before now, my cousin was probably suspicious of my sexuality as he kept asking me questions about having a girlfriend (he’s got one, actually) and accusing me of being too shy to talk to women. The only ridiculous response I could come up with was that I was only emotionally attached to computers and as much as I loved women, I couldn’t love them enough to be with any of them on a romantic or sexual level. Occasionally, he would tease me by calling me Jamal (thank you, Empire!), but that felt like a small price to pay, so I took it like a man (pun very much intended). I even acted like “so what if I was gay” because I always thought no one would take me seriously if they heard it that way.

So when Christopher got to meet my family for the first time, I was surprised at how he was able to blend in with everybody. James liked him instantly. Remember Josephine? That sweet sister of mine who lured me out of the closet? Well, she liked him too.

After that first meeting, we started hanging out a lot, visiting and stuff, and we even started saying those sweet three words to each other over the phone and exchanging kiss smileys (after we shared our first real kiss, that is.)

Fast forward to Saturday night, I had just gotten back from an event with Chris. He walked me home and just before saying goodbye, he pulled me to a dark spot in the compound and into a very long deep sweet kiss that almost got me ripping off his clothes.

“Good night, Richard,” he muttered as soon as he was able to catch his breath.

“Good night, Chris.”

With a huge smile on my face, I walked right into the house. I walked right past James (who has been playing the role of Mister Omnipresent Detective these days) to get myself a glass of water.

I had lifted the glass to my mouth when he said: “I never knew you and Christopher were now a couple.”

In that instant, my heart stopped beating, then it started beating again, but at a very alarming rate, and I almost choked on that cool liquid that was already halfway down my throat.

“What did you just say?” I choked out.

“Oh please, it’s not like I’m judging or anything,” he said flippantly. “I always knew that you’re gay.”

There was silence, one that was incredibly loud.

“And I’m not judging you. It’s who you are,” he added.

And just as the previous closet episode with my sister, my defences were down way sooner than it took the Israelites to bring down Jericho’s walls.

“Oh well. Chris and I just happened,” I said, aiming for a breezy tone. “I can’t defend myself on that because it’s the truth.”

“Relax. It’s cool.”

“Let me guess. You always knew but you just wanted to hear those words from my mouth.”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that,” he replied with a chuckle.

“And you never got your chance.”

“Very true.”

“Thank you. Thank you for knowing.”

“Not a problem for me at all. It’s one of those things.”

Whatever he meant by that.

Now I could have ended this conversation right then, but I felt this need to confirm my fears. “James?” I called.


“Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”


Written by Richard Moore

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  1. Mandy
    March 28, 07:35 Reply

    “Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”

    LOL! Clearly this story isn’t done yet.

  2. Queen Blue Fox
    March 28, 08:03 Reply

    I know all about amebo cousins and brothers that try to out you.
    Oh hello Pinkie.

  3. Queen Blue Fox
    March 28, 08:07 Reply

    Oh baby we’ve shared this tea a long time ago.
    Did we eventually forgive him?

  4. Queen Blue Fox
    March 28, 08:14 Reply

    Let’s keep our fingers crossed, he seems remorseful and more supportive of you of recent. Let’s just watch.

  5. Mitch
    March 28, 08:31 Reply

    “Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”


    Errr. awkward!

  6. Lorde
    March 28, 08:40 Reply

    Damn, so blunt!

    Like “yes”, period.

  7. Kenny
    March 28, 09:46 Reply

    Siblings, they always know one way or the other. *sigh

  8. J0j0
    March 28, 10:49 Reply


    God knows who this people are!

  9. doe eyed monster
    March 28, 10:55 Reply

    Lol….cousins…. I have one who would soon be an MGM soon. It was good to know I wasn’t the only queer one in the family.

    Of all people, how is it your grandmother that saw gay porn on your phone? …

    Oan…my baby cousin(5 years old) just said “uncle Doe, I would enter you oo” …hehe

    • Mr. Fingers
      March 28, 11:00 Reply

      Enter? Lol. Kids sha. I wonder where he heard that.

    • ambivalentone
      March 28, 11:24 Reply

      Isn’t that street parlance for ‘disrespect’? Nothing sexual in it…unless u av dirty minds

  10. Mr. Fingers
    March 28, 10:57 Reply

    Geez. Don’t do that. Am my siblings discuss issues like that, but I so don’t want to know. Since no one has brought it up why bother?

  11. ambivalentone
    March 28, 11:33 Reply

    Cousins tho. I remember I sashayed into mine’s compound. All they had seen were my pencil jeans and shoes. Na so dey gather for window. They wondered who the chiq was until they saw d rest of my frame. Immediately I entered d house, see qyestions. ‘kai! u can catwalk o. are u gay?’, ‘how many guys av toasted u?’ Although I denied weakly, I serzly dinnor know when I started casting who toasted me and when. I was so caught off guard

        • Chuck
          March 29, 02:20 Reply

          Not an answer to your question but: interested in learning more about living while effeminate in Nigeria. Are you Adriana on twitter?

        • Tiercel de Claron
          March 29, 10:31 Reply

          I would say you glide more than catwalk.By Jove,you are a sight to behold when in your elements

          • ambivalentone
            March 29, 14:15 Reply

            Hian!!! Tierce, you av a wife biko. No make nkem break my legs. Hobbling/Shuffling is no where as sexy as a catwalk. Have mercy on me

  12. Tobby
    March 28, 16:29 Reply

    Wait. This isn’t the end, right?

  13. Eddie
    March 28, 22:07 Reply

    Duh!!! Course not!!… I hope *fingers crossed*

    March 29, 09:23 Reply

    more like YES!!!!!!……..Dasol…cousins can be such a serious pain in the ASS…The sole reason i keep them at arms length..

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