I was on Grindr looking for a quick hookup. After spending some time without much success, I decided to log out but not before a message came in. I quickly went through his profile and his photos were blank. I usually ignore messages that come from blank profiles, but on this day, I decided to indulge him.

We went through the normal Grindr chat ritual that consists of the “role, location etc.” exchange. It was a brief conversation, before I got busy and became so preoccupied with my activities for the day that I forgot all about him. I logged in to Grindr the following evening to see his messages telling us to meet in a hotel close to the airport, as he would be on his way travelling out soon. I turned him down, citing timing as an excuse. Besides, I wasn’t about to meet someone whose pictures I hadn’t seen. And I don’t do hotel hook-ups.

So he requested for my number to keep up with our interaction anytime he was back in the country. I obliged him. Due to the time difference and his busy schedule, our conversations kept going round pleasantries with nothing solid. With time, we stopped messaging each other altogether. I forgot about him totally and moved on with life.

Months passed, and then one evening, I checked my phone – which had been plugged to charge – and saw numerous calls from him. I returned the call. He told me he was in Lagos and we should meet up sometime. I suggested the next day. He said he wasn’t going to be too busy, so he agreed. We decided to meet at a mall in one of the entrances of GRA. It was going to be a date.

The next day, my sister helped in selecting my outfit so I could slay. In her words, “he’s an Abroadian and you’ve got to do everything you can to make a statement.”

I left my home after calling him to tell him that I was on my way. I also filled in a close pal of mine on my movement for the day, like I always do when I am meeting a new person. The Lagos traffic was not crazy, the weather was fine, and so I believed the universe was in agreement with this date.

Before getting to our rendezvous, I called to let him know I was close to the bus top, and he said he would be there before I arrive. I was glad. I am one of those people who hate to be kept waiting at bus stops, especially when I’m the one who’s left my home to meet you.

He was wrong though. I got to the bus stop and had to wait for several minutes. It didn’t help my frustration that the exhaust fumes from passing and parking vehicles puffed at me on a mission to overcome my perfumed body. I was about to change my mind and leave, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and was startled by who I saw.

The man in front of me didn’t look anything like I’d expected. I mean, he was fine, but he sort of looked unruly. Hair not brushed, beards not shaved, shorts faded, and feet shod with bathroom slippers. At least, he smelled nice; that was the only thing I ticked right about his appearance. He was talking, but I was surreptitiously sizing him up from head to toe.

Abroadian, my sister said. Hmmph!

I was quietly fuming.

Is this a joke? Does he not realize this is a date? Or is this how they do it in the abroad? Is he even an Abroadian?

My sister’s words kept dashing through my mind, her excitement as she said, “Better bring back goodies from your date o, as per abroad person you are going to see.”

As I thought about this, I got madder. I felt so disrespected. This was a date for chrissakes! I expected whoever I was meeting to dress accordingly. Standing there next to him, my nattily-dressed self next to his shabbily-dressed self, we looked like an odd pair. I mean, he was in BATHROOM SLIPPERS FOR CRYING-OUT-LOUD!

I wanted to change my mind, come up with an excuse and get the heck out of there. But I couldn’t bring myself to just dump him like that. My mother gave me better home training than that. So, I flagged down a bus and we got inside. We barely spoke to each other on the ride to our destination, majorly because we were both on our phones. I was wailing to my friend as I updated him on what was going on, and he was both soothing me and teasing me, saying, “Abroad bobo ti gbe mi handicap.”

Soon, we got to the bus stop facing the mall. We alighted from the bus and crossed over to the other side using the pedestrian bridge. And all this time, we still didn’t talk to each other. By the time we were walking inside the mall, I was absolutely disinterested in whatever he might have to say.

We located an ice cream shop in the mall and went in. After we got our orders, we properly introduced ourselves to each other, and much to my surprise, a conversation started and kept going. He said he was a lecturer in one of the federal schools in Nigeria, but he was hardly in the country since he was mostly abroad, also lecturing in a university there. As the conversation between us deepened, my reservations started giving way. He was quite the conversationalist, a very different personality from the man I met at the bus stop. We talked about a lot of things – lecturer-student relationships, queer lives, movies, music, politics. I was so engrossed in our interaction, that I forgot my friend was waiting for updates. Time went by quickly. It was getting to 3 PM when he got a call which signaled the end of our date.

We were walking out of the mall, holding hands, and people were staring. But who cares?

Then he asked if I wanted to be his plus one to a party taking place later that evening. I said okay on the condition that I should be out of the place by 8 PM. He agreed.

What I didn’t know was that I was about to be introduced to a world I’d only ever heard about but never witnessed.

A world shrouded in secrecy, but whose open knowledge is based on hearsay.

A world you have to be present in to fully believe exists.


Written by Dreq

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  1. Pezaro
    November 26, 09:11 Reply

    *Fastens seatbelt*

    Who else is ready for this ride?

    • Good ade
      November 26, 09:43 Reply

      Me oo… Which one be new world??? Shey na secret society ni??

      • Dreq
        November 26, 09:47 Reply

        Y’all calm down na

        • Saint David
          November 26, 11:03 Reply

          I think I can guess… yeah, it’s the queer Illuminati secret world membered by the rich, famous and powerful such as politicians and celebs who all gather for a gay meeting and orgy in the spirit realm

  2. Iremide
    November 26, 09:28 Reply

    Nice piece. Why do you guys always give me heartbreak, abeg full story.

    • Dreq
      November 26, 09:51 Reply

      Heartbreak ke? You can’t enjoy wine by gulping it all at a go. You sip. Same with stories🤭

  3. Double G
    November 26, 09:31 Reply

    Wish, can’t wait to hear it all
    Lol 😂 abroadian

    • Dreq
      November 26, 09:46 Reply

      Lol….story might not go the way you expected o

      • Wizdiamond
        November 26, 12:19 Reply

        I can’t wait to read more about this new world you’re talking about, abeg hurry and give us the full gist

  4. Dreq
    November 26, 09:44 Reply

    Oh.. okay PP, this is better🤭

  5. Mandy
    November 26, 10:37 Reply

    Classic “don’t judge a book by its cover”. His bathroom slippered, unshaven faced self gave way for a very interesting conversationalist. Lol. I like. The gay community can be so obsessed with looks, that we don’t tend to have patience to discover what’s beneath.
    And now he has gone and introduced you to a world that you have decided to do us longer throat with. What is this cliffhanger sef? Oga Dreq, both you and PP should just not waste time to serve us the continuation.

    • Loki
      November 27, 07:53 Reply

      Dreq! Unless u want the anger of Loki Odinson u had better complete dis story today!!!!.
      This secret world had better be dark and wickedly sweet and worth d cliff hanger else….. Make i leave am for there fess😒😒😒

  6. Lumiere
    November 27, 08:18 Reply

    Ahhh. Why the cliffhanger? Dreq, are you finishing this story soon, or should I blow my powder?😩😩

  7. Pie
    November 27, 11:08 Reply

    I’ve checked KD nearly everyday for updates on “Don’t call me Biggie” and never thought any story could top it for me again. But this?! Wow. Can’t wait for the next episode to drop.

  8. Obi4wire
    November 27, 14:53 Reply

    I believe he’s talking about marriage.

  9. Dark!
    November 29, 09:44 Reply

    All this climax just washed down…Oh wrong naw!…. Please command finish this story….

  10. Onyx
    December 01, 18:41 Reply

    Someone should help me please,
    I’m eighteen and I’ve just made the greatest mistake of my life
    I honestly just want to end it all right now…
    Someone please talk to me😭😭😭😭

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