HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 25)
An idle mind, they say, is the devil’s workshop. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I had just completed my service year and was waiting for admission for my PG program when this happened. My boyfriend of four years decided he had had enough and moved on to someone who could give him more attention. (*rolling my eyes*) I was never good at meeting people or socializing, so for months, I was alone; I didn’t even have a fuck buddy on my list.
So I did what my stupid mind suggested; I created an account on Manjam. This guy by the name Crawnkfrosh sent me a message the next day and we got chatting. He dropped his number and asked me chat him up on WhatsApp. There was nothing sexual about our discussions and he acted normal and simple. And, boy, was I smitten.
On WhatsApp, Crawnkfrosh gave me a sad story about being a corps member serving in Bokkos L.G.A (coincidentally, that was my Local Government), saying how lonely he was and how he was in need of a friend to just talk to. His story was relatable because I know what I went through in Kebbi State during my service year. Anyways, after some weeks, I decided we had established enough trust to warrant me paying him a visit. After all, it’d been ages since I went to the village.
On that fateful day, I lied to my father, saying that I was going to visit a high school mate in Bokkos. And off I went. Since I wasn’t conversant with the town, I parked the car at the Plateau State University and took a bike to Bokkos town.
The person I met wasn’t the same person I saw on the WhatsApp Display Picture and on Manjam. When I expressed my surprise at the discrepancy, he told me the pictures were of his boyfriend, and gullible as I was, I believed him. He took me to his place and I immediately simply couldn’t wait to get out of the place. But I was too well-mannered to take that initiative. I locked up my bitch persona and maintained my politeness; after all, he was a corper in a strange land. He went to get me refreshments and returned a few minutes later. My mother had called, and I told her I was in Bokkos visiting a friend. During the phone conversation, I paid no particular attention to my environment. It wasn’t until I ended the call that I looked up to find four guys looking down at me. I was instantly panicked by the impending situation, but outwardly, I remained calm and composed.
The questions came, rough and aggressive, and I feigned ignorance over the slangs they were using. I was forming, trying to act the innocent and classy fellow. But after a few slaps, I cooperated. I stripped off my clothes upon their say-so, and they searched my wallet. They asked me questions and I admitted I was gay. They took nude photos of me and said they were with the police. Fully aware that there was no law to protect me from this harassment, I knew my fate was sealed. They repossessed about 15 thousand naira from me, with my phones and shoes; then they asked me to get dressed. Amidst threats of being stabbed, I was led through some bushes and farmlands to the main road where they got me a cab and paid for my fare back to Jos.
When I was clear of them, my fear was replaced with shame and self-loathing, then anger. I like to consider myself a good person, and I simply couldn’t understand why such bad things happen to good people. I was no longer shaking with shame and fear. I was beset with a tidal wave of rage. This couldn’t be it, I told myself. This couldn’t be the end of my kito story.
I asked the cab driver to drop me at my granduncle’s house, which was along the way. When I met with him, I narrated my ordeal. Of course, I modified the story to favor me. Since I could identify the criminals, we proceeded to the Police Station where I wrote a statement, and after my granduncle told the DPO who my father is, he mobilized his men and they went searching for my harassers, with me in the lead. I took them to the house I was taken to, and they spoke to the landlady. The boys were of course long gone. And so, I went back to Jos with the assurance of the police that they’d keep at their arrest.
The next day, my father was notified that the suspects had been apprehended. So we travelled down. As it turned out, two of the boys were students of the state university (during a quick search on Facebook later on, I discovered the ring leader to be Jacob Isaiah). Expectedly, their narrative incriminated me, but I denied the whole thing. I had the truth of what they’d done to me working for me, and so, they were thrown back into their cells. After spending four days in the cell, they finally agreed with my side of the story. My father was insisting on taking the case to the court, to get the boys tried for their crime, but this would surely have gone wrong for me, I could see that. So I intervened, begged for the ordeal to end once and for all. I’d gotten my cash, phones and shoes back. The criminals were asked to write an undertaking, their pictures were taken and documented, and I withdrew the case.
It has been months since I went through this trauma, and I take solace in the fact that the two who were students in the state university were expelled because of their involvement in my kito story. My parents are still suspicious over the role I played, but I think that the way I bravely took the case to the police and stuck to my story throughout the ordeal confirmed my “innocence” somewhat.
Below are the two who were in the state university:
This one’s Jacob Isaiah
I still wonder though if that episode a sign that I should come out to my family.
Written by Bee
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45 Comments
Simba
February 24, 06:51U did well,.. If u had cowered in shame and resigned to fate, they would have continued perpetrating their evil.
Kudos..
Gad
February 24, 07:24” fully aware that there was no law to protect me, i knew my fate was sealed ”. This singular statement spoilt this beautiful story for me. I still cant comprehend why guys believe that thugs and idiots have the right to batter them physically and disposses them of their belongings on the excuse of being gay or bisexual. No one has the right to lay hands on another or disposses him of his property extra judicially. I was happy that your family took the right actions. Im so disappointed at you for backing out on the case. Know your rights and the workings of our laws and use it to bring criminals to justice. Another known fact is that your assailants are gays who robs other gays.
Dennis Macaulay
February 24, 07:43Sometimes we talk as if we are not all in this country and we don’t know what is happening. You didn’t see when they recognized who his father was? This is a family of some means and influence which they deployed to the fullest advantage and got justice. This is not the story of all gay people who run into this sort of thing. The law will not be on your side, the security agencies will not be on your side. Let’s not talk as if everything is suddenly fair and great in Nigeria please.
It is best we all exercise caution when hooking up, especially if you don’t have a family influential enough to pull through for you. Let him who has ears, hear
Gad
February 24, 08:47I know that there are instances where some policemen act unproffessionaly but its not always the case. Let me just relate two incidences that i was aware of. A guy came to report the theft of his laptop to me in a manner similar to the story Bee told us this morning. I asked if he can locate the address and he said yes. All i did was to put school him on how to present his case at the police station in that area. What to say and what not to say including the likely reaction from the laptop thief and how to act. To cut a long story short, he reported the theft of his laptop without being accompanied by me though he kept briefing me as the case progresses. The laptop was recovered and the thief detained. Note that that boy was only 23 then and an orphan. If you are still not satisfied, i will get another 23 yr old to come here and relate his encounter with 2 soldiers. Its sad when younger guys relate with older and more experienced ones and learnt nothing.
Mandy
February 24, 20:02On a more serious note, Gad, could you perhaps put this your advice down on possible ways victimized gay guys can go about rectifying their situations, and get it across to PP to be published? I feel your point of view, and it needs to leave the comments section for us to derive wisdom from.
Mac nuel
February 24, 07:59Gad that was the best he could do, cos imagine once it get to court, dear lord he would have wished he never prolonged the case, questions will be asked and sure I doubt if he could stand it all. So that’s just the best.
Gad
February 24, 08:20My dear, like I said earlier, lets try and acquaint ourselves with our laws and its working. If that case has gone to court, what the court will require to get from the prosecution is a proof that some criminals meted out violence on a citizen and stole his belongings. Im aware that the defense counsel might want to ask questions that will incriminate him as gay but the prosecution will raise objections and one will be surprised if the trial judge does not sustain the objections since it clearly has nothing to do with the case.
Tiercel de Claron
February 24, 10:29Thank you.
Nigerians,generally,have a long way to go,with respect to making use of the law to aid their cause.
This would have been a case of criminality,had it been pursued.
Bringing up the issue of being gay would be a distraction no judge would allow.
Gad
February 24, 11:01Thanks, bro. Its really sad how we allow ourselves to be matched on in the name of fear.
dapo
March 06, 18:10only one GAD replies perfectly well to messages and stories
are yuo I’m ADO at the moment
Edo
February 24, 08:02So how does one meet people now? for someone as paranoid as I am. My recent man jam chat buddy will never see me. I cannot even deal.
MagDiva
February 24, 08:13St Francis looks like you have competition
shuga chocolata
February 24, 09:24@MD my Bae has outgrown that stage.
Francis
February 24, 22:30Ehen, since when did I scale that stage ? ????. Biko I no do anything GRINDR etc. Even random Facebook chat I no do….. maka ndi screenshots
Pink Panther
February 24, 23:41???? The fear of screenshots is the beginning of wisdom, my brother.
KryxxX
February 24, 08:53Its obvious that Some people are back and hell bent on announcing their return by being controversial………as always. Sounding as if they fell off the sky and not living in the same Nigeria we live everyday were authority doesnt recognize you as long as you don’t have the influence which comes with money! Daalu! We have seen you!
#NP Till it happens to you – Lady Gaga
Dennis Macaulay
February 24, 09:36Like!!!
Tiercel de Claron
February 24, 10:34*sigh*
Same cowardly route of fear of state institutions and “respect for constituted authority” which makes the average Nigerian meekly lie down to be trod upon.
We’re yet in Ezeagu,quite a long way to go for us.
Mitch
February 24, 11:04Thank you oh, Kryxx. Ha puta, ha na-eme ka Saint Pius Imintu. Like we all don’t know the realities in this damned country
Delle
February 24, 08:57Seems this one took care of his kito situation. Thank you for your bravery. Nice one.
Umm on the other hand, why do you want to come out to your parents? It goes beyond this and you have to be sure you have other reasons to want to come out to them.
OAN, this Jacob guy is quite fine.
Francis
February 24, 22:32Asin eh, what a waste ?????
sinnex
February 24, 09:00Nice one. I like the way you handled the case. You did well.
To those saying he should have let the case gone further don’t know what they are talking about. I have been in court on the witness stand representing my office. I know what I went through. This is coming from someone who had nothing to lose or gain from the case. The questions from the prosecuting counsel was something else. As long as the guy got his stuffs and 2 of the guys involved were expelled from school, I think that is enough punishment. If Bee wants to take the case further, he can do it by getting some people to deal with them and not the courts. All the guys involved need to do is to get a good lawyer who is hungry to win a case and they would win the case. The case would drag on for a long time and it might bring shame to the family and affect Bee’s plans for the future.
In other news, the dark guy is cute, unfortunately he is also stupid.
Dennis Macaulay
February 24, 09:43I know all these people who tell you how to act in the face of kito and what you didn’t do properly. I have seen them before, when shit hits the fan they won’t even pick your calls.
See when you run into this mess you will realize you are entirely on your own. Don’t let anyone deceive you, use your head!!!
Khaleesi
February 24, 10:53@Bee, am so glad your story ended well-ish … you are obviously a strong person, kudos! A kito experience is utterly traumatising and a traumatised person often cant make rational decisions… Please always keep that in mind.
Its obvious that a lot of hungry Nigerians now see gays as an easy and vulnerable target to line their pockets as well as act out their homophobic hate. Please please please be careful, truth is you cant be too careful these days! some stories I’ve heard recently leave me with goosebumps …
Kenny
February 24, 11:04This would have been the perfect opportunity for you to come out to your family….. It’ll be hard at first but it’ll get easier. Trust me. If it comes up again, you can choose to come out.
posh666
February 24, 11:04These two are obviously gays who are setting up other gays..So glad they were expelled,if they have sense that’s enough lesson for them to desist from such inhumane act.
posh666
February 24, 11:14And so sad to break this news but kito is now very rampant in the north too especially in states like Kano, Adamawa and Gombe..Honestly no matter where I was before in the country I was always happy to return back home to the north cos it was a safe haven,far more better than any other part of the country but right now bad things are happening and I believe it has to do with the whole recession and increasing rate of poverty. ..
Gad
February 24, 11:16I believe that this forum is to educate ourselves and share ideas. One should either take or leave what was proffered. No reason for all the ghetto-like attacks that are coming forth in the name of comments. If you are being blackmailed into giving up your estate to fellow gays because you feel the law only works when you are highly placed or have connections and you give in, fine. Its your business. NEVER AGAIN WILL I JOIN ISSUES WITH ANYONE HERE. I will express my honest opinion when i feel like and it ends there. The worst I would do will be to make clarifications where and when necessary
Dennis Macaulay
February 24, 12:16???????????
ambivalentone
February 24, 17:21*snorts*
Francis
February 24, 22:35And here I was wishing you’d impose another exile on ya sef ???
Agbi
February 24, 12:19Na wa kito even in bokkos of all places hmmmmm thank God it came out well.
Canis VY Majoris
February 24, 14:24Finally a kito story that I can smile at how it ended.
Bain
February 24, 14:32cheers to pink panther ?…for creating this avenue to share our stories and educate ourselves.
All these kito stories should teach us to be wiser,nobody is smiling at the gay-kind…
let’s just stick together,and learn…in due time our ordeals would be a thing of the past.
@bee you are smart and intelligent,it could HV been worse, trust me.
cheers to pinkie again.
Dickson' clement
February 24, 18:14As my father will always say… Its only someone who is alive that can tell a story.
If you are in a kito situation do everything in your power to stay alive…
While you have plans building up in you head, make sure you will be alive to tell the story…
Tali
February 24, 18:42Your story is amazing. Its a good thing your family name helped you. I just hope the punishment metted out to those guys will teach them a lesson.
We’re in a country where we are unprotected. All one can do in such situations is use his head. Kudos Bee. Funny how I’m in Jos too(I’ll remember this story everytime and be weary of these people).
peaches
February 24, 20:46Ha. God help us. You re just brave. but this kind of story makes me want to be celibate. on my own. I don’t want nsogbu!
Chuck
February 24, 21:41LOL at Gad. When you were insulting others you didn’t think it was wrong.
If your argument is strong it will convince the right people. It doesn’t have to convince the ones that respond to every comment.
Francis
February 24, 22:40If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from personal experience, it is to know when to let go before shit gets nasty as fuck. Do not allow the devil(s) to use you cause they won’t be around to epp like DM said. Ndi Judas Iscariot. ????
Bee you do well man. Thank God it ended well.
Xavier Thicc
February 25, 12:06This is bad …but its good it ended well..I like it…You were brave,its something we should learn about..
Why did this happen now that I just came into Jos yesterday for a colleague’s wedding?
If anybody as much as say hi or hello at the reception,I will just form deaf and dumb(kuruma) in Hausa..
I want to attend this wedding in peace and leave biko..
KingBey
February 27, 05:44Everything in Nigeria is just problem. Sombori cannot just Fuck or get Fucked in peace again? Nsogbu erika ! Lemme coman be going
Pink Panther
February 27, 05:55It’s an Odiegwu somtin, my brother.
Petros
March 17, 09:52Please when did this actually happen? Cos I was also a victim sometime around September last year but because I didn’t have anyone or from a financially strong family I had to let it go trusting the law of karma to get them. So could this be it? I recognize the dark guy perfectly.
Bee
May 16, 16:30This happened September 26 and ended October 3. This could be the Karma you prayed for after all.
Zizi
March 23, 13:18Serves them ryt.