Finding a fellow Corps member who is gay in Kano State is like searching for a misplaced naira note in a busy market.
I was bored on that Sallah day. It was of course a public holiday and the Devil was working overtime on my idleness. I downloaded Grindr and in the fifteen minutes it took me to get acquainted with what was going on in the app, over ten guys had messaged me, asking me for my location. I replied the messages, and soon, I had moved from Grindr to WhatsApp with some of the guys.
Out of a number of these guys, only two seemed serious, and so I kept chatting with them and talking on the phone and video calling.
Until a Tuesday evening, when the one named Mukhar called me, said he wanted to come visit me. I was busy that day and it was already getting late in the day, and so I asked for the visit to happen the next day. He agreed.
After about an hour, he called back with a private number, asking if I was at home, that he was very horny. I said yes, that I was at home, but that it was already late. But he insisted on coming over, that he had already told his wife that he was going to go see a sick friend.
It was 9 PM, and I finally capitulated. Several minutes later, when he got to the junction close to my house, he called me. When I answered, he said he was going to give someone the phone so I could give the person directions to my place. This was so unexpected, and I asked if he was coming with someone. He said yes, that he wasn’t familiar with my area and had to come with a friend who knew the area well.
This of course set off alarm bells in my head and I immediately disconnected the call and turned off my phone. When I turned my phone on about an hour later, it was to meet a flood of WhatsApp messages from him, berating me for cutting him off like that and leaving him stranded, that he had even had to pay someone to help him locate my place. But initially, he had said he had enlisted the help of his friend; now he was saying he’d paid someone. His duplicity was stinking from a mile off. I went off on him, blasting him for thinking I was that stupid.
When I was done, he responded, saying that it’s God that saved me, that I am lucky. His words chilled me, because until he actually said them, until he said these things that officially confirmed him as a kito menace, I didn’t want to believe that my intuition was right. And there he was, telling me that I was lucky we hadn’t seen that night. This was a guy who I’d video-called several times with, who would even show me his children playing in the background when we are on our video calls, who would call me several times a day to know how I was doing. Someone who had managed to get me to be very comfortable with him.
It saddened me to realise just how little we can trust anyone in the hookup scene.
This incident happened on Tuesday 13th August 2019, with one of the two guys I said were serious after we got acquainted from Grindr.
On August 15th, the second guy, named Sayyeed, called me at around 12:40 PM, wanting to know if I was home, and talking about how the weather was cold. It had been raining in Kano since morning that day. I told him I was home. He asked for my address and I sent it to him. And forty minutes later, he called to let me know he was in my neighborhood.
Before going out to meet him, I hid all my valuables. Then I went to see him and he looked just as he was in our video calls. I brought him to my place and we talked, after I’d offered him a drink. Then minutes later, we went straight to the business of sex. The sex was aggressive, and after it all, we cleaned up. We rested for a while, and then he said he wanted to leave.
When I offered to walk him out, he was like, “Give me the money.”
I was like, “Which money?”
He responded with, “Do you think I fuck for free?”
Considering we had never agreed on any transactional sex, this was a very startling development. I told him we hadn’t agreed on money for sex, but all the same, I offered him 1k.
He said, “God forbid”, that he cannot collect 1k for sex.
I offered him 2k. he started making calls, apparently wanting to call over some friends of his. And I was like, “Oya, come and start going.”
But he started undressing and demanding for 10k. I told him I didn’t have that amount at home, and he began raising his voice and insisting on a transfer. I told him I didn’t have much in my account either, seeing as I am a corper, and he stayed adamant. Making threatening statements about how Kano is his hometown and “say na we get Kano, and if you do anyhow, you will see anyhow.”
I was getting very distressed, but I refused to show how stressed I was. I was very aware of the fact that my compound was filled with neighbours who were in their rooms, who could hear the altercation going on in my room.
I showed him my UBA bank alert with just 10k in it, and he insisted that I transfer it all to him. I pleaded and begged, but he was resolute. He had even started demanding for more than 10k and was asking for me to give him one of my valuables to hold on until I get the rest of the money to bail the valuable. But I refused.
After a lot of back and forth, after seeing that I was serious and was not to be intimidated by his drama, he eventually left. After much bluster, he agreed to a transfer of the 10k and left.
I waited awhile before following after him from a distance, and I was able to see him meet up with some street urchins that he’d been calling, intending to use as a backup to victimize me. Truth be told, this was a guy who I could kill with a few chops of my hand. Physically, he had nothing on me. But I was grateful that that hookup didn’t graduate to something violent, because in addition to him being an indigene of Kano, seeing the kind of people he hung out with made me realise just how much I stood to lose had the situation between us gotten more serious.
And so, that was how I was able to escape two dangers. I have come to realise just how risky online hookups are in Kano, especially for those of us who are non-indigenes. These kito scum are even gay themselves, but are such riffraff that they will resort to such lengths of intimidation to victimize those they hook up with who they perceive have a lot to lose.
Below is the picture of the Sayyeed character.
This is the second guy who came to have sex with me and used that as an avenue to extort money from me. His name is Sayyeed Shehu Abubakar, which he bears on Facebook as well. His number is 08109135986. (If anyone has the contact details of any police or army personnel who is a community member here in Kano, I would really appreciate having that contact detail passed on to me, as I would like to teach this particular guy a lesson. If you do, please connect to me through Pink Panther. Thank you.)
Written by Bobby