Seeing him on TV made the memories of everything that happened to come rushing back. And because I was desperate to keep it all shut out, I turned off the television and tried to silence the awakened pain.

But it wouldn’t go away. Not unless I talked about it.

So, I buzzed Pink Panther and began to tell my story.

His name was Stephen. Real name.

And this kito story happened in 2014. August. I was sixteen and very naïve.

We’d started chatting in early 2013 while I was still in SS3. We met on 2go, and his 2go ID was elcream. He was staying in Asaba and I was in Lagos. We got really close, like extremely close for two people who only knew each other online. I trusted him with everything. He made me feel safe, loved and really happy. However, because of the distance, we couldn’t do anything but chat and speak to each other on phone calls. And we talked steadily, for a really long time, for about a year. And at this point, I fancied two of us were lovers. He was the only other gay person I knew, the only link I had to the community. The only person I could call friend or lover.

Now that I am more mature, I believe he was grooming me, trying to gain my trust completely before he could break me.

I got admitted into the university in the East immediately after secondary school. So, I had to travel down, a relocation which he was well aware of. This development made me really happy. Part of the reason I even wanted to go to school in the East was because of him. To be closer to him. If we weren’t a thing, I would’ve stayed in Lagos.

The conversations were really steady, and getting more intimate. Still, there was no time for us to see.

It wasn’t until August, when school closed for vacation that we were able to see. I was supposed to travel back to Lagos, but he convinced me to stop over at Asaba first, stay maybe two or three days with him, before continuing on my way to Lagos. So, I had to plan my itinerary to work in such a way to fit in with my arriving in Lagos on the day my parents were expecting me to be home.

On the day I made the trip to Asaba, I packed my bags and set off for the journey. In hindsight, there were a lot of warning signs. Signs that I didn’t even know were popping up to deter me from going to Asaba. I was too hooked on Stephen. And even if I wasn’t, I didn’t know anything about the menace that kito was becoming to the gay community, especially in the wake of the law President Jonathan had signed in January.

I got to Asaba. When I talked to Stephen, he told me to get on a bus going to Ibuzor Junction. At this point, I now realize the angels tasked with taking charge over me were really still trying to save me from my fate, seeing as I entered the wrong bus. When we talked and I communicated to him where I was, he said I was in the wrong bus. I had to get down and trek a long distance back with my bags, to where I would find the right bus.

Finally, I got to where he was. The reception was cool. I met him at a shop at the Ibuzor Junction. He was with some guys, whom I exchanged greetings with. He and I didn’t stay long there though. Soon after, he walked away, leading me to his place.

We got to his place. I freshened up and had something to eat. I was exhausted and simply wanted to sleep all cuddled up in his arms.

At about 10pm, he woke me up and made the first moves that was intended to get me in the mood for sex. We progressed and got naked. When we were both fully naked, he excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back, he was with a camera and started taking pictures of me. All the while threatening me, saying if I wore my clothes, he would get violent.

Everything had changed, and I wasn’t even fully processing what was happening.

He started with threats, talking about how he was part of the police and how the people I saw him with at the junction were his partners and that they were on their way to arrest me and torture the gay out of me. As he fumed, he was getting aggressive toward me.

And I was really young, and I started to cry.

Before long, he got tired with the threats and physical abuse. At this point though, even though I still didn’t understand why he had suddenly become this monster, my brain was now set on self-preservation. I was mentally looking for ways to escape the situation. Either fight or flight. But I couldn’t fight him, and I couldn’t flee. I had all my things here – my bags with my certificates and school documents. And even though they didn’t really matter in that moment, running would require me being strong enough to break through his locked door and jumping the fence around his compound. I couldn’t do any of that.

I felt really helpless.

He had started making calls now. From his end of the conversation, I easily deduced that he was talking to his friends. Talking about how he had controlled me. Then he was back to talking to me about how they were coming to take me to the police cell, where I would stay until my parents could come bail me whenever they were ready for their “homo son”.

He demanded for my parents’ numbers. But at this point, my mind was no longer frozen with panic and incomprehension. I was once again thinking. I told him that if he went ahead to contact my parents and told them this, they wouldn’t answer him. That they’d simply abandon me. That they wouldn’t want to pay bail for a child who would bring shame to the family.

I must have been really convincing because then, I noticed he was cracking.

I went a step further in calling his bluff by giving him some numbers. They weren’t my parents’ numbers, but I gave him the numbers anyway, a sort of “You don’t believe me? Well, go ahead and call them” dare.

He didn’t call the numbers.

But he maintained that I was going to rot in prison if that was the case.

At this point, I had realized that he wasn’t really smart. Either that or he was new at this kito game. I was maybe his first victim. And so, I pressed this advantage. I told him that I was sixteen, that I wasn’t an adult, and he could not lock up a child in a police cell. And since I was with my birth certificate, I could show him proof of my age. Plus, he knew me well enough to know I was telling the truth about how young I was. I had no idea what I was saying, if it was even true, but I was talking as fast as my brain was manufacturing the words.

I also told him that anyone who saw the two of us wouldn’t lock me up without thinking I was kidnapped or something. I mean, he looked way adult than I was, and I was very small, for my age. I added that I would definitely use this to my advantage should I get the opportunity to go outside.

At this point, he was starting to look like he was rethinking the whole thing.

When his friends finally came, he went out to meet them. I was so exhausted at this point; I think it was 2am. And they were outside for a very long time.

I was still trying to find ways to escape. But then again, I was in pain and I was tired. At some point, I slept off on the bed.

Stephen woke me up later and told me that the guys were still deliberating on my matter. That they were deciding on whether to kill me or not. It was obvious he was trying to scare me into giving up something, anything to compensate for the effort they had put into entrapping me.

I told him that all I had was my phone and about three thousand naira in my account. I didn’t have any need for savings then, so I didn’t keep any money. I told him if they wanted it, they could have it.

He got angered by this and began hitting me again. Sobbing, I told him to kill me then, but he should know that my cousin had his pictures and that she knew where I was, and that if anything happened to me, he should know it’d be trouble for him. Thank God we’d been chatting for a long time, long enough for us to have exchanged tons of pictures.

Finally, it was morning. Maybe, God was with me. Maybe he had realised how exposed he was in this situation. Whatever was the case, he didn’t take anything from me.

Together with his guys, they dropped me off where I would get on a bus to Lagos.

But I decided to go back to school instead. I wasn’t in any shape to go to Lagos.

I was fortunate. But I lost something still that night. My innocence. And because this happened because of my same-sex attraction, I felt really broken. For a long time, I felt traumatized by what happened. My body healed of course from the bruises I got from his beating. But my mind remained shattered.

I was able to put Stephen and what he did to me at the back of my mind as the years passed.

Until I turned on the TV to an African Magic movie, to see him on the screen. He is now apparently an actor. Living a good life, it would seem.

I couldn’t believe it.

I also wondered how many other guys he had victimized on his journey to this celebrity, how many other lives he had ruined to get to where he is now.

It wasn’t until I was talking to Pink Panther that I realized that I should have him exposed for the treacherous human being he is. Unfortunately though, I couldn’t remember the name of the movie I saw him in. I only know his first name, Stephen – and I don’t even know if that is the name he currently goes by for his celebrity. I know he was living in Asaba in 2014. I also know him physically as tall, slim, fair and hairy. That is the much I know about the man who ripped my naivete apart and opened my eyes to how hurtful this world is to boys like me.

Written by Earl

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  1. Duc
    December 15, 07:57 Reply

    A sixteen years old kid… Some people really are monsters.
    A cursory search reveals at least two actors with the name “Stephen”. Based on your description of his physical appearance I feel one is a match.

  2. J
    December 15, 09:41 Reply

    Oh sorry darling, for the idiot to have led you on for so long and then shattered you into pieces ? Growing up I was so naive too, but experience has changed everything and I can only imagine what will happen to the next innocent gay boy if this bullshit don’t stop.

    Are you going to let him go? For him to be on Tv in some Nollywood movie, Karma has not served his ass yet. He needs to that what he did to you is unforgivable.

    • Earl
      December 20, 07:54 Reply

      Yea… I believe in karma too, i also believe we’d meet again. But this time, ill be ready.

      • kris
        December 28, 09:28 Reply

        I love this statement. An eye for an eye

  3. Higwe
    December 15, 10:16 Reply

    The fact you saw him on TV doesn’t mean he’s living a good life .

    Anyone can be on TV my dear .

    I can’t even recount the number of times my friends have asked me to feature in the movies they produce .

    If I had taken the offers , you’d see me on TV and also presume I’m living a good life – not knowing it’s a free job .


    That said, only in movies and fairy tales that bad people get struck immediately they do bad things .

    In real life bad people go on to live a ” good life ”

    Some if not most, go on to have much more success than the people they victimised.

    Their petrous hearts make it much easier for them to scale through the hurdles of life without caring who or what they trample on …sadly , that’s the story of most successful people .


    But be rest assured, karma always delivers .
    The tricky thing is – when .


    If this story gives you peace somewhat – tell it .
    But I doubt anything will come out of it .

    There is absolutely no evidence…the only thing we have are your words , which he could easily deny .

    The best revenge as always is success .

    If you’re very successful , you can give him a little payback before karma finishes off the rest .?

    So keep pushing …you’re almost there.

    ?️ Fighting !

    • J
      December 15, 12:32 Reply

      LOL don’t you want to be famous for free Higwe ? It could earn you a political appointment , an endorsement or even a lifetime partner in the abroad ? you never can tell.

    • Earl
      December 20, 07:54 Reply

      Thank you Higwe. I appreciate the kind words ?

  4. Ziel
    December 15, 12:55 Reply

    Oh sorry to hear such a sad tale. Quick question; is his birthday 26th September?

    • Pink Panther
      December 15, 13:58 Reply

      Lol. Does that seem like information he’ll retain till now?

    • Earl
      December 15, 14:15 Reply

      I cant really remember… If you have a pic.yeah

  5. Dillish
    December 15, 13:14 Reply

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I think I will start watching these African magic to check for all the Stevens. I’d share the images with buddies. One of them who knows anyone might know about him. And should that happens, be rest assured pp will have it.

  6. Bryan
    December 15, 13:21 Reply

    Definitely between Stephen Odimgbe or Stephen Damian.

      • Opal
        December 16, 04:52 Reply

        Allow the person involved respond. Did you stop to think that the profile might have a different spelling/variant of the name? Take a chill pill and don’t start…

    • Earl
      December 16, 07:38 Reply

      Not really… Its not him.. Thank you tho???

    • Earl
      December 20, 07:51 Reply

      Thank you Opal.. Its not him

  7. Mariposa
    December 15, 23:05 Reply

    Earl, you’re stronger and better now… Yes it hurts but forgive Him and honestly from your Heart let the pain go or else, anytime you switch your TV on, that’s when you’ll always see Him or something relating to Him with Danger waiting to Happen…

  8. Lyanna
    December 16, 00:39 Reply

    So you saw your attacker on tv and let him go like that? You didn’t forward the movie to the end to check the cast for his full name and use Google to identify his other movies (if he has any). When you’re ready to expose him, by yourself, you will. Nonsense.

    • Demi
      December 16, 08:38 Reply

      Exactly my point lyanna.. I’m just mad he couldn’t atleast give us more info on him.. It just made the whole story a bit hollow for me, and i feel he can get his identity if he really wants to and try a lil harder..

      • Pink Panther
        December 16, 08:52 Reply

        He gave all the info he has. We are still trying to work together to get the identity of the guy. Until then, please do not diminish his trauma and what he went through simply because he didn’t tell you who did it. More than half the kito stories here do not themselves have the identities of the guy’s who victimized them.

  9. John Adewoye
    December 16, 06:41 Reply

    So sad!
    The reality of our love
    So sweet and “sacredly” scary
    The debasement
    The monster many have become
    The pain, the trauma that turned scar.
    So sorry son for your ordeal!

    But Earl, what do you mean by not remembering the movie you saw him in? Is that suppression or real memory lapse? Please wake up and do you right.

    • kris
      December 28, 09:36 Reply

      I like your spirit. I may not be able to do anything to some low lives kito guys but for someone to have kitoed somebody and think he will attend stardom, he lies! If nobody takes the step of exposing him to the world, I will do it personally. Let him taste his own bitter pill

  10. Buddha
    December 16, 19:58 Reply


  11. Tristan
    December 16, 23:41 Reply

    Instead of you guys to commend him for being smart enough at his age to let the guy develop cold feet, y’all are here bashing him for not giving full info of the guy. Do you really care or just being an “amebo” so yall can go slide into his dm? Mcheeeew!

    • J
      December 19, 06:02 Reply

      They want to end his career, can’t you see? ? What made you think they want to slide into his DM? Uncle feely thinky ? I have the feeling that the writer has figured out his abuser, but he doesn’t want to let out his identity for reasons best known to him. So leave him alone ooo

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