See, now that I think of it, hmmm, I realize maybe they planned it or something – they, Anya and Roland.

Anya and I were done after that day. From “Are you home? Yes,” to “Hi. Good morning. Bye.”

I didn’t think much on it. I simply closed his chapter. Two days later, I see a friend request buzz on BBM.


“How did you get my pin?” I asked, after accepting the request. (Like duh! It’s Anya na. He’d apparently given me away.)

“Anya gave me your pin. Hope you don’t mind,” Roland answered.


“Yeah. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I asked Anya if it was okay to have your pin. He said sure, that nothing is going on with you guys anymore.”

“Oh…I see. Okay,” was all I could respond with.

We got chatty. We began talking over the phone. We began dating. I came to like him. He grew to love me.

Things were going smoothly. He was an encouraging guy sha, ambitious, hard working. And though his command of the English language was meh, I still liked him.

Roland had a girlfriend too. “Baby, I’m Bi,” he told me one day, when we were having the ‘tell me everything about you’ conservation. I hadn’t expected that. So it was quite shocking. I still stuck around.

He would gush about his girlfriend and how she got him a cake for his birthday, how she loved him so much, how she–

Bitch! What? What am I again? (Oh, yes, a cute teenage mumu)

I still stuck around.

But then he got too busy. He still loved me. But I needed full attention and I wasn’t getting it. We talked about it. We worked on it. But, nah, I got tired. And dude, you have a gal-friend! I couldn’t deal. The boredom! The English! The man!

Boy, bye!

And then we had the “please don’t leave me, I love you. Please. You’re everything to me” back-and-forth…


Really, bitch?


Can you leave your girlfriend for me? No.

Can you create little more time for me even when you’re ever so busy? No.

Can you…? No.

Can you…? No. No. No. That’s it! I ain’t sorry. Boy, bye!

Written by Kizito

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  1. Francis
    May 05, 06:04 Reply

    The struggle to have your cake and eat it too ???

  2. pete
    May 05, 06:27 Reply

    Something was the deal breaker after sticking around through the girlfriend, the poor grammar & the lack of attention. What was it?

  3. Mandy
    May 05, 06:54 Reply

    Lmao. Kizito is such a bitch on lemonade.

  4. johnny
    May 05, 07:57 Reply

    the dick is not just enough and available…. abi?

  5. Peak
    May 05, 08:42 Reply

    It’s a rule of thumb that the end is near when “I am/been busy” line becomes a reoccurring content of conversations.

  6. Chizzie
    May 05, 08:59 Reply

    Bi sexual men, infact ALL TOPS in general always want to eat thier cake and have it. “Oh I don’t want commitment but can we keep fucking and talking like we used to?” The same ppl that don’t want commitment will get pissed when they see you with other guys, or when u stop giving them as much attention.

    TERRIBLE set of ppl, I’ve just decided to focus on making money. I’m tired ?

    • Keredim
      May 05, 09:25 Reply

      Wow!! The non-nigerian caucasian, has left you already?!????

      • Keredim
        May 05, 09:46 Reply

        @A-non & @Francis, its a genuine heartfelt question.

        No need to act all righteous.. No one is dragging your secure seats in heaven with you.?

        • Francis
          May 05, 10:42 Reply

          Yes oh. There was absolutely zero shade in that your comment. ??? Thank God he’s in a good mood today.

          • Keredim
            May 05, 11:40 Reply

            You are looking for shade abi?

            Haven’t you got an illness to misdiagnose? ?

      • Chizzie
        May 05, 10:09 Reply

        Lol yes he has oo. Shagged and dumped yet again.

        • Keredim
          May 05, 10:35 Reply

          Eyaaa…Ndo nwannem.??

          These Oyibo people, that are in Nigeria short-term, they are high-risk and not worth any emotional investment.

          Hurts even more, when they find an excuse to move on to another black guy, who is not even better looking or as educated or intelligent as you are.

          I sha hope, he helped in some way with your biz venture? That is all they are good for..

          Ndo. O!

          • Chizzie
            May 05, 10:39 Reply

            He said he would but you know, whatever really. I just feel I’m too fat to be loved ????

            • Keredim
              May 05, 11:35 Reply

              Chei!! He “419-ed” you? May his uncut cock shrivel..(he was uncut, right?)

              But Oyibo, na dem be original 419. What was he? British, Russian, Chinese, Israeli?.

              Maybe you can slim down, if you think that is the issue.

              Not sure which is worse – being used, young, fat and unloved or being used, old, muscular and not worried about love. ?

              • Delle
                May 05, 11:41 Reply

                Definitely, the former is worse biko

              • ambivalentone
                May 05, 12:55 Reply

                Oga Kere, relax. The one b4 b4 who reads KD and put him on a short leash nko? Was that one too oyibo ni? Clearly, a fat-arse, light-skin and healthy look isn’t everything.

                • Chizzie
                  May 05, 14:38 Reply

                  I dumped that one please, bitch. I might be morbidly obese but i’d rather that, than be serving full blown AIDS realness

                  • ambivalentone
                    May 05, 15:19 Reply

                    Of course you did. Dey dere dey deceive urself. Better come siddon for the ‘failed to be wifed yet’ bottoms’ couch. There is a space with ur name on it. The earlier you accept it, the quicker u realise you are not so different from the other ‘razz’, ‘sick looking’, ‘jobless’ bottoms…at least in cause.

                  • Chizzie
                    May 05, 15:36 Reply

                    Alright whatever makes you sleep at night, Ambi. Remember to de-worm atleast twice a year.

                    • ambivalentone
                      May 05, 15:51

                      and remember, less is more…though ‘more’ is what we are trying to avoid in ur special case. Sad!!!

                    • Chizzie
                      May 05, 16:07

                      You do know a large part of all I’ve said is bants right? And the usual Chizzie theatrics. I’m certainly not morbidly obese or fat for that matter, Oyibo and I might have hit a rough patch but it’s nothing that can’t be resolved. I get that misery loves company yeah, but fortunately my life ( relationship status et al) can never be as bad as yours.

                      So stop trying to compensate for your misfortunes and simply embrace them . You are skinny, unattractive, and will never have an ass. Own it!

                      Also take my de-worming advice seriously, either that or go run a comprehensive blood test. I am convinced you are ill. You look it

                    • ambivalentone
                      May 05, 16:30

                      ROTFLMAO But Chizoba, you dinnor haf to explain urself na, at least to ME. Haba! Are you sure you truly believe in ur fat choked ticker that it is indeed banter?

                    • Chizzie
                      May 05, 16:59

                      Yes Morenike. Just wanted to remind you of your place in the pecking order of society- the very bottom of the barrel. Never forget that ?. Now go and, I dunno cry, pull a TeeBillz, whatever it is you hopelessly unattractive ppl do.

                    • ambivalentone
                      May 05, 17:51

                      Funny you had to use the ‘barrel’ word. It just describes you to perfection. Bulging sides full of nothing, held together only by the belt you got on. Roll over hunnay

                • Tiercel de Claron
                  May 05, 15:12 Reply

                  The character and personality exuded can tempt a saint to mayhem.
                  The fat arse should be the least of his worries

              • A-non
                May 05, 16:27 Reply

                @keredim, I no know say you dey this ‘caring’

  7. Delle
    May 05, 09:58 Reply

    Lol. Bisexual men…hmmphs!

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