Lessons Learned From ‘She Called Me Woman’ (Final Entry)

Lessons Learned From ‘She Called Me Woman’ (Final Entry)


From the chapter, ‘I Convinced Myself I Wasn’t Lesbian’, HA has this to say to us:

“Until we become visible, queer people [in Nigeria] will continue to think that they have no other options. And that takes movement-building, fighting for our rights to exist, telling our stories, and reaching out to other people like us.”


Visibility. Community. Raised voices. These are the three things encapsulated in the above passage. Do you know where these three played a very powerful role? Yes, you know it: the Stonewall Riots. And worldwide, we can see the fruits of that labour.

When people say that LGBT activism should just stop and let people mind their business, I ask them whether hate and prejudice observe the same protocol. If we stop being so loud about our existence, will they stop trying to also snuff the life out of us? As far as I know, the gay men who are dragged out of their homes and lynched because the neighbours snooped on their intimacy – these gay men were not out there being activists. They were at home minding their business. Those who follow their konji to hookups where they are beaten and extorted were not on an activist mission. They were up and about, minding their business. The woman in She Called Me Woman whose uncle walked in on as she was making out with her girlfriend and thereupon beat her mercilessly was not on a mission to preach about gay rights. She was in that bedroom, minding her business. My friend who was sashaying down the road with his feminine gait, a ‘crime’ that got him picked up by the police, was not his way to give a “We Should All Be Activists” TEDx talk. He was walking down the road, minding his business.

If minding your business means that the hate will take a vacation and leave us be, then yes, by all means, let us all stop fighting.

Until then, we should, well, all be activists. LOL!

Written by Pink Panther

Previous The Piece About How We Are “Here, Queer And Speaking Up”

About author

You might also like

Editor's Desk 14 Comments


This is my position when it comes to dealing with family who know about your sexuality and, barring any forceful attempt to make you change, persistently work on your defenses

Editor's Desk 3 Comments

The Minority Report on Bobrisky, the Trans Identity and Transphobia

Homophobia and transphobia are really not the same. Homophobia is rooted in moral disgust, and gay rights activism is saying that your moral disgust is not sufficient grounds to proscribe

Our Stories 26 Comments


“You meet someone at a party. You finally talk to that crush or you go online and you start a conversation with this random stranger. The conversation is intriguing. It

1 Comment

  1. mikkiyfab
    August 24, 22:29 Reply

    Oh my dear pinky this post got me so *teared eye* y must everything that happens to be finally be so emotional thank you for this
    I am to be having a criminal law exam tomorrow and one of the questions I would be answering deals with morality… and you know y the debate can be but from this your post I just got my perfect conclusion to dish out to my very stupid homophobic yet classy lecturer *her fashion sense is lit*

Leave a Reply