Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who’s The Laziest Bottom Of Them All?

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who’s The Laziest Bottom Of Them All?

Why does bottoming have to be so stressful and hard? Like, it’s so easy for a Top to whip out his dick and insert and, boom, they’re enjoying what they do.

It’s so crazy how we don’t even talk about it ?. I am in my early twenties and for a long while, since I became sexually active, I have struggled with the sexual role I feel more drawn to: bottoming. But in recent times, I have become more invested in tackling that struggle. I started with toys to open myself up more, to enjoy, before going for an actual dick.

So there I was, spending almost thirty minutes on douching.

Urgh! Douching is so stressful and time-wasting. Is there no way we can just have good sex without the bottom having to douche? (If there’s a way to shag without first douching, someone please tell me.)

After douching, I loaded the batteries into my toy and I liberally applied the lube. I slid the toy in and then switched it on, and it began doing its work. Lol. It is rocket shaped, and I tried to ride it, and it was soon hitting me in my second hole – you know, the internal sphincter. (Phew chile!)

It felt amazing. And painful too. But that passed. I was watching the latest video that Rhyheim Shabazz posted while I was working on my ass, and it was a fast fuck. I was going fast too. And it was crazy, so crazy that I felt like I was going to shit on myself.

I stopped to check, and there was nothing. No paint. That urge to shit was fleeting. I slid the toy back in and carried on with my self-pleasuring. My second hole was getting hit on again, and it felt really good. A little out of control. (I wish I can master the control of my second hole)

As I was riding the toy, my dick was hard as fuck, and it was slapping up against my stomach and the bed. I applied some lube on it and began to jerk off. Rhyheim was making his Bottom moan, and I was working my dick and riding my toy. It was a heady sensation. And I came so fucking fast. I cum quick anyway, so that wasn’t anything new. But this time, it was different, felt sensational.

As I cleaned up, I wondered: Do bottoms douche after sex or they just have a bath? Please, don’t drag me: this bottoming ish doesn’t come with a manual.

I have two toys by the way. I can’t use the bigger one yet because I am yet to be good with the smaller one, the one that is rocket shaped. The bigger one is an actual 8-inch dildo. We are keeping it on hold for now.

So, I want to upgrade and be a better Bottom, control my second hole and receive the dick well (and not say “Ah, please remove, it’s paining me” or “I think I’m going to shit on you”, the way I usually do.) And nobody should tell me bottoming isn’t for me, cos I love that shit.

But the stress of it… Argh! ??

So yes, I need an education on bottoming please. Almighty power bottoms, supreme size queens, the undefeatable versatiles of different shades (maybe even the occasional Top with something instructive to say), I would like to know what a brother can do or not do to be a better bottom.

God bless you as you impart your knowledge.

Written by Amateur Bottom

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  1. Mitch
    January 19, 08:04 Reply


    Pink Panther, Queen Blue Fox, JBoy, Peaches…over to you people! I can’t stop myself laughing long enough to say anything here??????

  2. Delle
    January 19, 08:54 Reply

    Connection with the one playing Top. Whether it’s a hookup or a relationship, if you do not feel well connected (emotionally and physically), it becomes a chore.

    The Mind is A Force To reckon with: When bottoming, what’s your state of mind? Do you pay attention to that inner sphincter? Are you overly concentrated on the activity of being penetrated? Do you sense fear and feel pain even when it hasn’t taken hold (trust me, the thing about the spirit of fear and pain is that it leaves an indelible mark on you such that you’re feeling them even when they aren’t present).

    Take your mind to a place that’s more positive, more receptive (pun intended). Focus on the pleasure you want to give yourself (sometimes, focusing on pleasuring your partner could give you immense pleasure).

    Command that foreplay, Demand it!
    Wam-bam sessions are almost always pathetic for the bottoms with sensitive holes. Do not allow yourself be put in that situation. Take all the time you need to get your body tingling with frissons of pleasure. There’s a height you get to, penetration becomes a completion and not an ‘activity’.
    Remember, foreplay isn’t just a prelude to sex, it’s all those things we do before sex that gives us pleasure.
    Do just that that pleasures you.
    If ass-eating isn’t your thing, don’t engage in it. Ultimately, foreplay cuts down Thrust Session and that’s an advantage to you.

    Also, do not be held back from communicating during sex. Tell your partner what you want, how you feel.

    Use that lube!!!

    • trystham
      January 19, 09:11 Reply

      See me looking at you like “what’s this one saying?” He called for Power bottoms and BBC whores. You that can’t take big preek to save ur life. Gaan sit dis wan out fess

      • Delle
        January 19, 10:16 Reply

        ‘undefeatable versatiles of different shades (maybe even the occasional Top with something instructive to say), ‘

        He was very inclusive. Step aside, Tryst?

        • trystham
          January 19, 12:07 Reply

          Toh!!! I have left u alone o. I don’t want to hear your “Chi m'” in high soprano tomorrow because u said u saw big preek. They called UNDEFEATABLE, you’re quickly running forward like as if ez holy communion Round 2. Ngwanu, pass. I have left road for u.

      • Gaia
        January 19, 13:35 Reply

        I tire ooo. I was beginning to think if there’s another Delle here ooo

    • Gaia
      January 19, 13:30 Reply

      Oga… that connection thing is a scam. It has nothing to do with people who can’t withstand pain.

  3. trystham
    January 19, 12:21 Reply

    Amateur bottom, I’m not sure that “I’m gonna poop on u” thought is something that entirely goes away. It has never allowed me enjoy being rimmed and dicked successfully. Still, it gets better over time. All you gotta do is try to clean out properly. And immediately u r done, put a liberal amount of lube up your arse and let it sit in. Allow ur walls to absorb all that gel. It feels squishy, but I also feel it acts like some sorta moisturizer. It helped me with receiving the dick much later

  4. Gaia
    January 19, 13:28 Reply

    ?????. The undefeatable versatile with different shades? Really?? This pikin don kolo finish oooo.

  5. Higwe
    January 19, 15:06 Reply

    As someone that bottoms sporadically , I can tell you for certain that I have never douched and never will.

    I’m a fitness enthusiast, I always almost eat healthy… you’re probably not , so here are some layman’s advice for you .

    Take a shit – Get everything out there ?

    Take a freaking shower – scrub every bit and pieces- give full concentration to the prepotent parts of your body that will play key role in the upcoming sexcapede ?

    Here is a part most people ignore *the back of the ear * the last thing you need is some odoriferous scent emanating from there while you’re face down , bottoms up screaming ” harder! ” .?

    Here is the hard part though , no matter how hungry you might be, try not to have anything few hours b4 bottoming.

    Even if you do yield , make sure it’s not a meal that could potentially upset your stomach .
    The greatest sexual turn-off is a paint job. ?

    Douching is killing ” you ” and you don’t even know it.

    Douching could affect the intestinal flora … destroying healthy bacteria that are important for digestion .

    A douching gone wrong could injure your rectum.

    Anal sex is already the riskiest kind of sex and bottoms are more at risk …poking your walls ferociously ( literally) just to ensure the facile entry of the third leg … you might just be letting a few viruses and bacteria in with it. ??

    Parting words .

    Instead of striving to be a “better bottom” , why not strive to get better sex partners.
    Sex is like a tango and we all know what is involved in tangos .
    No matter how mellifluous the music blasts and how effortless your feet and hips swing , if your partner merely balters – your dance will flop.

    Sex works better when you have a partner that is willing to meet you halfway or at least add forty percent to your sixty percent …

    ….. and nope , you don’t have to be an Albert Einstein of bottoming or he the Socrates of topping , anyone who cares about giving pleasure while taking will suffice .

    Unless you’re actually getting paid then get those lessons from Delle .?
    He claims to be mostly topping these days ,so I don’t know whether he’s rusty from not having been practicing much, but you know what the Igbo proverb says – an old woman never gets old dancing the dance she knows too well. ???‍♂️

  6. Loki
    January 19, 19:04 Reply

    (Taking notes like a serious student). Uncle Higwe sir, biko which schl did u go to? I will like to apply fo tutor ledge ???

  7. Tax
    January 19, 21:03 Reply

    You’re already investing in toys, so invest in a butt plug. They are small and you can leave them in their till action time. Preps you to receive and quite comfortable to wear once you get used to it. Best thing, it triggers you to naturally lubricate. So you are ready and not struggling with unnecessary pain.

    Also babe, keep douching. I douche. Been douching for 15 years and I’ve seen none of the alarmist stuff they’re telling you. I own a douching can. I love it. Sex is for your enjoyment and Painting is never agreeable to me personally.

  8. mochachocolata
    January 19, 23:46 Reply

    LMAO! I can’t relate tho. I’ve never douched in my entire life. And ive never painted either. I just bend over and take the dick in there and ask him to hit it hard. And I usually prefer the bigger dicks going really fast and hard. That way i he my prostate orgasm. Phew! Chil’!

    Plus men are scum anyways, so why go through so much stress just because you don’t want to disappoint them? rada rada! Vend over and take dick hunnay, whatever they see, they get. C’est finit.

    • Knowles
      January 20, 16:30 Reply

      I’m sorry but this is a terrible advice! You enjoy sex more when you are all cleaned up because you’re more comfortable, you are not worried about messing up.

    • Lucky
      January 29, 16:15 Reply

      Mocha boo, I mean what do they expect to find up there, candy?
      After all, Ndi Igbo si, aka n’aga n’ike………

  9. Peace
    January 20, 20:24 Reply

    I welcome you, to the bottoming graduate trainee program. Your welcome package would be sent to your shortly. Meanwhile, let me continue taking lessons from the professionals and associates.

  10. Lucky
    January 29, 16:24 Reply

    I don’t douche, I hate painting, I’ve cancelled friends cause I painted and couldn’t find the courage to look at their face ever again.

    Now what I do is to never go on any random hookup, there must be at least 12 hours prior notice. and I don’t eat anything within that period and I try as much as possible to empty my bowels as many times as possible as much times as needed.

    Has been working like a charm. But there are no hard and fast rule to these things. Just find out what works for you.

    But biko, If you’re riding on dildos and hitting your prostate and opening up things I don’t want to imagine up there and you still feel you still want to learn more, I don’t know what you’re looking for again oooo, icho i n’ebu 14inches? eh gbo?

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