The Bottom Chronicles (Entry 6)

A friend of mine once said that all Tops should bottom at least once, so that they would have more consideration and express more sensitivity for what Bottoms have to go through for sex.

I don’t think all Tops are callous or inconsiderate or clueless when it comes to what it feels like to be a sexual Bottom, but after the passing incident I had with a friend of mine who identifies as strictly Top, I can see my aforementioned friend’s point.

The Strict Top is a guy who I have a friends-with-benefit acquaintanceship with. It’s a “scratch my itch, I’ll scratch yours” sexual friendship. I buzz him when I’m horny and he comes over and we fuck. Or he buzzes me when he’s horny and he comes over and we fuck. Because his house is not private, he also often brings his booty calls over to my place, when I’m around of course, and then I would make myself scarce for them to get their freak on. There has never been the danger of any of us catching feelings. We are very clear on what we want.

And he’s also very clear on the fact that he doesn’t like taking dick. I remember one time he brought someone to my house, who he wanted us to have a threesome with. On his way to my house, we were texting on WhatsApp and that was when he told me he was hoping I would join him and the guy. I wasn’t too keen on the idea and he seemed to sense that, so he attempted to sell me on the idea by texting me that the guy had a big dick.

LOL! As if that would snatch my interest. As if all any Bottom needs to get him interested in sex is to learn that the other guy is well-endowed. As if I was that kind of Bottom who salivates at the possibility of getting fucked by a big dick.

I texted him back a laugh emoji, telling him that a big dick doesn’t get me turned on. Then I said, “Why don’t you let him fuck you since you seem so taken by his big dick.”

His objection was fast and furious, as he texted back that he would never surrender his ass to any guy. That he is strictly top. That he has no preference for bottoming. Yada, yada, yada.

Not like I was judging. I believe Tops should be allowed to stay Tops and not be maligned for not wanting to spread their ass cheeks for anyone.

Anyway, some days ago, around 7 PM, he called me, wanting to know if I was home. That call usually means he wants to come and fuck or he wants to bring fuck to my house. I hoped neither, because I had just eaten a huge dinner, so if he wanted to have sex, I would have to decline. And if he wanted to shag someone in my place, that would also be problematic, because I was swaddled in bed, bingeing on last year’s season of Orange is the New Black, and I was in no mood to be anywhere else but right where I was.

But I could use the company. So, instead of lying and telling him I was out or something, I told him yes, that I was home. Las-las, he would come, want to get freaky and I would turn him down and he would be disgruntled, but we would still gist and laugh before he leaves.

About 30 minutes later, he was knocking on my door and coming in. Behind him was a skinny guy, average height, with nice features.

Ah! I thought to myself. So, it wasn’t me he wanted to fuck. He had his own runs.

Well, as long as they didn’t mind me staying put on my bed while they did their thing, then there’d be no problem.

He made introductions. And then, there was some small talk. The guy was seated at my desk and Mr. Strict Top was sprawled on the bed next to me.

At some point, he inched close to me to say some things to me that he didn’t want his guy to hear. I figured he wanted to let me know he wants to shag and that I should get going. But instead, he told me he wanted us to have a threesome.

This threesome again. Hian!

I laughed softly and told him that wouldn’t be possible. That I’d just had dinner.

Now, this is the part I found incredulous. I thought that saying I’d had dinner would end the conversation on the possibility of a threesome.

Instead, he gave me an “Ehen?” look, saying, “I don’t understand. So, you’ve had dinner. How does that affect you joining us for a shag?”

I stared at him a moment, and then said, “Because it is not advisable for any guy who is supposed to take a cock up his ass to have eaten right before the sex.”

His next words were the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. He said, “OK then, go and use the toilet and you’ll be fine.”

This time, I didn’t bother responding. I just laughed. I mean, what could I say?

What could I say?

Seriously, I’m asking you guys: what could I possibly say to the clueless Strict Top who thinks a Bottom is always rearing to go, a full stomach or not? Or that it is sexy for the Bottom to go take a dump right before coming to spread his ass open for sex?

Written by Pink Panther