The Unexpected Case Of Rugby Player Sam Stanley’s Boyfriend
“It’s awesome to see so many athletes being true to themselves now,” rugby player Sam Stanley wrote to Outsports’ Cyd Zeigler earlier this year. “The thing for me was never that I wasn’t ready, it was more how to do it. I was going to put it on Twitter but my other half convinced me not to. I’m happy with how it’s all gone.”
The rugby player, who says he was partly inspired by rugby player Keegan Hirst coming out publicly, revealed to the people in his sport that he’s gay more than six months ago, and wrote in February that so far, the response has been positive: “The reaction from my current and past team mates and coaches has been great so far. I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time but didn’t really know how to and telling people one by one would have been way too stressful. … I’ve not been happier and now this huge burden has gone I can move forward and finally be myself. No more lying. Feel liberated!!!”
Stanley talked of his other half; coming out at the age of 23, he probably had the pick of twinks, twerkers and gym-obsessed twats – but the England Sevens player is already taken, and it’s not who people might expect.
Meet Laurence Hicks.
Sam’s boyfriend is, let’s be fair, a little older. While we’re not entirely sure how old he is, he looks to be a friendly-looking guy in his 40s.
The funny thing is, is that Sam has been gently coming out of the closet for the past three months. You just had to know where to look.
This is from an end of season awards dinner.
This is them at a Bette Midler concert.
This is at a family BBQ, where Sam explicitly refers to Laurence as his ‘other half’.
They seem like a pretty happy couple. Laurence works for a travel company, has two kids in their 20s, and, quick reminder, he takes Sam to see Bette Midler concerts. That is a good guy.
A lot of people have expressed surprise at the pairing. The question is why. Age gaps have been a part of gay relationships for centuries – just ask the Greeks. Plus there’s Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black, where there’s a 20 year difference. Or what about Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi? There’s 15 years between them. Stephen Fry and his husband Elliott Spencer? 30 years.
In Sam’s coming out interview to the Sunday Times, he said he considered committing suicide four or five years ago. After that moment, four or five years ago, he met Laurence.
‘I was standing on a bridge…overlooking a motorway in Essex,’ he said. ‘However, looking back, the idea that I would jump was ridiculous but it was as if I was thinking that I could get rid of the pain in one go.
‘You are so worried about what people will think and I thought I couldn’t be a macho rugby player the way I was, and there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life.’
When a lot of gay men and women come out, starting to navigate their sexuality, it’s natural for a lot of them to seek older people to date. These relationships may last a short while or it may last a lifetime, but it’s not as uncommon as one might think.
Sam is at a point where he may still be figuring himself out, and he might need someone more mature to help him out on his personal journey, or he might have simply just found someone that makes sense to have in his life.
This isn’t to say Laurence hasn’t had his own journey, he’s had two kids after all, but he might be the stability that both of them need. But who knows? It’s their relationship.
When people look at relationships with an age gap, some think the older one is always sleazy or the younger one is always a gold-digger. That’s judging at face value. And if you know anything about relationships, judging at face value can be a mistake.
Sam Stanley’s coming out will undoubtedly change the world of rugby. But it should also help to change our expectations of what a relationship is and what it should look like. As long as the love is there, who cares?
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57 Comments
#Chestnut
September 09, 07:33“40s”? That man is not below 54,biko!
#iLoveRugby…*sigh*
Griffin
September 09, 07:54Don’t we all!!!!!, love rugby i mean.
Keredim
September 09, 09:04@Chestnut He could be in his 40s. Some oyibo people (especially on the Island) don’t age well.
Francis
September 09, 07:57Love sha. It doesn’t give a fuck about your “type” when it hits you. Wherever you find it, just go with it and hope for the best. They look happy ??
Peak
September 09, 11:34So so true about your “type” comment
Griffin
September 09, 08:00This is sooo me, Daddy chaser, I love it. I don’t care for their money… ….they’re just super aggressive and adventurous in bed. They’re sweet to be around and i like to cuddle ?. Can’t go beyond 20years difference tho, well so far i haven’t, but who knows.. ..lobe works in mysterious ways.
Max
September 09, 08:25Trying hard not to cringe
Griffin
September 09, 09:19Cringe all you wany Max, I have my fun.. …FYI, the older dude i dated looked nothing like his age and was as fit as a bull.
Max
September 09, 09:57**pukes all over the floor**
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 10:43Why do I always get this feeling that these things you rail against,roles/older and whatnot,are just you fighting some inner demons?.You know,those things you really want but won’t see yourself going for,as they may affect some nebulous image of yourself you have in your head.
Keredim
September 09, 11:09“Why do I always get this feeling…..”
Dude, it’s REAL?
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 12:05What would you have me say,Kere?
Keredim
September 09, 12:11I know TdC, I know….??
Ace
September 10, 03:55Yup! Yup! Yup!
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 10:45Let your hair down a little,Max.Live.
Love will so blindside you,when it does come,you’ll wonder what hit you.
Max
September 09, 15:09Love for that kind of thing in the pic above?, you clearly don’t know me.
*pukes more**
Mandy
September 09, 08:10This reads like something JArch would endorse. lol
JArch
September 09, 13:25Lmao Mandy lemme oo
***slurps slowly on my orange juice
while side eyeing pinky***
Masked Man
September 09, 08:13Okay!
Let me find myself a daddy!
Ah! Jimi Agbaje!
Griffin
September 09, 09:24I know right!!!!!!, shaved head, serious looking, tight skin.. ……I’ll take 2 of that.
Masked Man
September 09, 09:26Step aside bitch.
Olly Goes
September 09, 09:43… But have u seen Jimi Agbaje’s lil brother? Cute is an understatement. And he heads a top 5 bank. If u see him u will drop JK like its hot.
Masked Man
September 09, 10:28Dear Olly,
Are you fucking kidding me?
Drop his name lemme go and do PI.
A brother gotta try his luck.
Olly Goes
September 09, 10:40If I drop his name they will sue. Google ‘Agbaje’ and that bank with a three letter acronym that combines two ways of calling someone Gay in Nigeria….
Olly Goes
September 09, 10:41Oh and check his YouTube videos too. The fine boi speaks English like he was born in Buckingham Palace.
Masked Man
September 09, 10:46Wow!
It is not a lie oh.
I’ve seen him. Chineke!
If he decides not to be a banker anymore, he can have a career in sperm donation.
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 10:50Hian.
Don’t tell me you don’t know who GTB’s MD is,MM.
Hmmm……….GTB,you have something there Olly
Francis
September 09, 10:55Wait first, what’s with all the coding bikonu? Why e had to drop full name abi una want make person just dey Google aimlessly like say work no dey office today? Hian
Masked Man
September 09, 10:56Tiercel, I’ve been busy whoring around to take note.
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 12:03E kwem.
I’ve never said you whore around,just horned up like some billy goat.
Masked Man
September 09, 13:08I get so horny that there’s no other option than to get it from anywhere available.
Judge nut!
Max
September 09, 09:57@MM, no wonder. Chai
Masked Man
September 09, 10:30Max, what now?
Ogini?
kacee
September 09, 10:45Max pls leave my Sweetie for me, body no be firewood lmao
kacee
September 09, 10:09sweetie pie lol
Masked Man
September 09, 10:31Honey, where have you been?
kacee
September 09, 10:46i miss u honey sugar carrot boo boo
Masked Man
September 09, 10:57Miss you too. You have no idea
kacee
September 09, 10:13older people are so obsessive to the point they treat u like a child (so annoying) #icantdeal but i’ll love to date hehehehe Rita Dominic or Genevieve (a girl gonna dream right)
Francis
September 09, 10:19Lol. Baby gal, you’re jamming the insecure ones and the typical “Am I your mate” Africans
kacee
September 09, 10:50lol they are not, “Am I your mate” type are Ngozi Ezeonu n Eucharia Anunobi.
Francis
September 09, 10:56Hm, this one wey you mention names are you trying to tell us something? *gbegborun mode*
Dennis Macaulay
September 09, 11:24You often move about with a mental physical specification of the kind of guy you wanna date, but then you fall in love with someone who looks exactly opposite and love takes you away.
Take this from a man who knows
Francis
September 09, 11:28All this team light skin pipu sha. Abeg Jimi fine pass ?
sinnex
September 09, 12:05Why can’t I have love like this?
Most hot, muscular and young guys are only into hot, muscular and young guys. Why? Why? Why? Why the discrimination?
The few who are willing to play ball are doing it with for a price.
Francis
September 09, 12:07#Keredim ??????
Keredim
September 09, 12:16Franca!!!!! ???
Keredim
September 09, 12:14“Most hot, muscular and young guys are only into hot, muscular and young guys. Why? Why? Why? Why the discrimination?”
Darling, it’s not “discrimination”, it’s “preference”.
Heiress
September 09, 13:44Define such preferences maybe I fit your spec ???
Francis
September 09, 13:52Cement chest and bubble ynash.
Keredim
September 09, 14:39What Franca said, plus 6 pack…?
Tiercel de Claron
September 09, 15:08Six-pack is overrated.Reasonably flat ought to do it
Keredim
September 09, 15:31Ok.. There might be other redeeming features that could replace the Six Pack.
Will review on a case by case basis?
Heiress
September 10, 06:11You are in luck!! Just might have both ?
Khaleesi
September 09, 12:52Wow! Profound … to each his own sha, so long as they’re both happy and regularly hit cloud 9 in bed, wetin concern me?
Diablo
September 09, 22:53This is like me and my bf except he doesn’t have a pot belly and still looks great for a man in his 40s.
Ps : I really need a break from work. I feel so out of touch with whats been happening here. 🙁
Pink Panther
September 10, 04:38Yea. I for one do miss seeing you around here. 🙂