At exactly 5:00 am, the alarm clock rang out as though it had been denied food the night before. Grudgingly, Beeko hit the end button and softly cursed into the air, “Fuck!”

The expletive came out from his food hole for the same reason every worker does. Yeah, it was Monday AGAIN!

The weekend had flown by like it was no man’s business.

He probably might have woken up even without the alarm, but damn! He slept late, as late as 4:00am in the morning, catching up on new porn releases.

But then again he was already awake a few minutes before the alarm started to bitch. He had been ploughing some ass in his dream. It was the rush with which he’d cum that nudged him out of his sleep with a sheepish smile on his face like a Cheshire cat.

“Ugh…” he groaned, flicking a glance at the clock

His fully erect dick was still up like the sun. He stroked it. He was proud of it. Not because it stood still, but because it stood tall among its peers and rivals, something he could boast about and put to good use anytime, anywhere, any day – as friends and well wishers had shown their respect and solidarity for its prowess.

He changed his bedspread and pillowcase, tidied the room and went into the shower. He moaned as the warm water cascaded down his body. Pure bliss. If only he could get some ass to join him here, he thought.

Stepping out of the shower twenty minutes later, he dressed up like he’d done for the past eight years. Then he picked up his phones, briefcase and his helmet from the table. His bike keys were in the living room.


Weird transport system for a banker, eh? I know. But Beeko had always been one to do weird things. Aside from his high libido and his relationship with his best friend’s sister, Beeko had always been weird.

From the colours of his shirts, to the lacing of his shoes, to the arrangement of the wide array of books in his library, to the colours painted interwovenly on his bike… It all reeked of weirdness.

An only child from a divorced family, he’d always kept to himself. His only confidants were his shrink and Moira.

His first kiss was from his cousin.

His first sexperience was with the same cousin.

His first relationship was with someone he met at Moira’s break-up party four years ago. It lasted two hours and seventeen minutes.

He wrote for a blog here in Nigeria, where he loathed a fat-bottomed individual.

He had a TV show sponsored by his bank.

He had no plans to marry.

He wanted to adopt two baby girls.

He had a dog that died. A part of him died with Jessica. The dog.

He loved to cook.

He always strived to eat well.

He never clubbed.

Simply put, Beeko was amazing

But his life was about go full throttle. Something I can’t keep up with myself.


As his Harley Davidson roared to life, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

“911!” The text from Moira read.

Weird. Moira never sent texts.

Closing the text app, he saw the forty-seven missed calls from his girlfriend.

“Ok that’s both interesting and disturbing,” he muttered to himself.

As he was about to dial her number, Charles’ call came in. he answered it instead.

“Mind telling me how long I’ve been in the dark and a fool?” came the voice laced with anger from the other end of the line.

Written by Vhar & Eros

Previous Ian McKellen Tops Russian Maxim List of ‘Forgiven Gays’

About author

You might also like

Series (Fiction) 20 Comments


Writer’s Word: I would like to thank you all so very much for reading the L.O.L series and enjoying it. I am glad I shared and got such beautiful feedback.

Series (Fiction) 30 Comments


“Nnamdi?” Abbey said. She stared at Bukunmi in disbelief. “Of all the people in the world to bring tonight, you brought Nnamdi? Are you seriously kidding me right now?” Jiro

Series (Fiction) 13 Comments

WHORE Of BABYLON (Episode 12)

“This is arrant rubbish! You mean you let that sonofabitch do all that to you?” Mitch hisses, his nostrils flaring with outrage. The three of us are seated on the


  1. Mandy
    December 03, 06:35 Reply

    ‘He had been ploughing some ass in his dream’? That’s Beeko, who’s dating Charles’ lesbian sister, Moira, right? Is the ‘ass’ metaphorical (for female) or literary (for male)? #QuestionsForVharAndEros 🙂

  2. bashir
    December 03, 06:46 Reply

    Oh lawd!! This it too short naaw!! It’s not enough oooo,
    Well One more character to love, first charles, now Beeko!! ….loving this!

  3. Dennis Macaulay
    December 03, 07:00 Reply

    Two people write this series? I didn’t know!

    And did anybody miss that shade right up there?

    • #Chestnut
      December 03, 07:13 Reply

      I caught the shade o!hahaha. in other news (totally unrelated,hehehe),I read the post abt internet trolls yesterday…

    • Mitch
      December 03, 07:35 Reply

      I swear, I literally went blind for some minutes upon espying that shade! Bikonu, its too early for this kinda thing!

      • Max
        December 03, 08:03 Reply

        I saw the Shade too ???? but I thought it was fictional, now I know its not.

    • Kerr
      December 03, 09:39 Reply

      I saw it …. So subtle it could be missed, even at 3 re-reads

  4. Dick Advocate
    December 03, 07:19 Reply

    This is too short for what two people write. Cmon!
    The Characters in the stories are a bit confusing.

    It’s so short I can’t even make meaning of it.

    • Mandy
      December 03, 07:20 Reply

      Exactly what don’t you make any meaning of? Episode one introduced Charles. Episode two introduced Beeko. Anything else you’d like us to catch you up on?

    • wahid
      December 03, 07:52 Reply

      The most confusing piece I’ve ever read. I can neva plc d characters.

  5. Sinnex
    December 03, 08:02 Reply

    Too short to have an opinion.

    Maybe next time.

  6. Ruby
    December 03, 08:24 Reply

    Vhar n Eros…….

  7. posh6666
    December 03, 08:36 Reply

    Lmao fat bottomed individual? I mean by now most peeps should know the fat boy who is always so proud to announce how phat his azz is and whom everyone loves to hate hahaaha

  8. Chizzie
    December 03, 09:49 Reply


    He works in a bank, goes to work in a power bike, he visits a shrink (of course you referred to them as shrinks), he’s an only child from a divorced home, he has a TV show, his bank sponsors said TV show, he still somehow finds time to blog, and his friends send him texts with phrases like “911”.

    I get this is fiction but are you going for an Alice in wonderland theme here? It’s so farfetched and farcical and im wondering what audience you are pitching this for? Presumably a Nigerian audience seeing as this is a Nigerian blog, then if so, so far you’ve scored zero points on being relatable and originality

    And your attempt to come across as Americanize or whatever the eff you were going for with your characters, just gives off as being really jaded, cheesy and over the top. Maybe ditch the 80s Jackie Collins and Danielle Steel books. Originality is the new black, no body wants to read about a banker (of course he had to be a banker) who goes to work on a power bike and says stuff like “fuck” when he wakes up

  9. Peak
    December 03, 10:07 Reply

    1st of all, the theme picture is slaying!

    2ndly this is FREAKING SHORT! Guys do better and stop being lazy like the rest of us.

    3rdly ” He never clubbed. Simply put, Beeko was amazing”…says who?

    4thly is it overly presumptuous of me to think that Beeko and Moira are just beards? To each other?

    Patiently waiting for something substantial to sink my teeth into. All these teasers both of you are serving aint cutting it **in my Americanised voice**

    • Max
      December 03, 11:22 Reply

      I wanted to comment on that pic, but decided to keep mute.

  10. JustJames
    December 03, 10:20 Reply

    The “cliffhanger” at the end.. May I say poorly placed? Seems more like a good reason to flesh out this chapter further rather than end it cause at the moment you’re giving us nothing and it isn’t sweet.

    I’ve got respect for vhar’s writing.. And pinky has assured us this is going to be something really cool.. So I’ll still wait and watch.

  11. Delle
    December 03, 14:54 Reply

    Hmm…you guys want to deflower an individual like Delle with that theme pix, right?

    That shady line was just The Shade Of It All. God is looking down on us with His everly smiling heart, don’t forget that. Lol

  12. michael
    December 03, 21:18 Reply

    Way toooooooo short. Biko we need more to get into it.

Leave a Reply