I have (had) a best friend, who I also happened to have a massive crush on. But in all the time of our friendship, I have managed to keep my attraction for him under wraps.

However, recently, driven by a need to be more of myself with him, I came out to him. His initial reaction was to understand. But that didn’t last very long. Below is the message he sent me, which broke my heart as I read it.

Him: Guy, see eh! I want you to do me a favour abeg… Dey on your own please. I really can’t pretend anymore, man. I can’t put up with you. I beg you in the name of God, stay on your own please, to avoid any complications. Thanks for your understanding. And please, don’t ever try to visit me again uninvited, because you might not like the outcome. That will be all for now.

Feeling shattered as I read this, I couldn’t stop myself from replying.

Me: Wow! It really was that hard for you, huh? Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for any distress I’ve caused you by opening up to you. However, the one thing I’ll never be sorry about is being who I am. And I’ll try as much as humanly possible to keep out of your way and stay away from you. Thanks for being my friend, for what we once had and for having the decency to at least pretend to understand. And I sure hope you find the happiness you need and seek in life. Enjoy!

He responded to my message.

Him: Glad you understand, man. God loves you, brother. Just take this problem to him. He is the only One that can help you out not me or anyone else. For now, just stay outta my way/life.

I am still reeling with shock at the turn of events, upset at the loss of my friendship and angry at the blanket assumptions he has made about my life. I mean – Take my problem to God? Him helping me? I am fine with who I am. But underneath my self-assurance, I feel a desperate sinking in my heart, a painful realization that by remaining true to myself, all I’ll ever suffer is loss.

I am conflicted.

I am depressed.

I need help.

Submitted by Mitch.

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