Dear KD: My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Is Interested In Me

Dear KD: My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Is Interested In Me

So in my school, I have a group of friends. We go out together, read together and have our own group chat on WhatsApp. These friends are all girls by the way – six of them. And out of the six, two have boyfriends and two know I’m queer.

So the boyfriend to one of them is occasionally a part of our gang, reading group, Whatsapp group and all that. Let’s call him Jide. And he is very flirtatious with me.

He touches my thighs during classes. He’d grab my ass when no one’s looking and look at me all seductively and shit. He has also once told me he’d like to kiss me and lick my asshole. Like, dude is not even subtle with his flirtation. I am a kinky guy and all that shit gets to me.

But the situation has me feeling confused, thinking about how he must be straight and how he has a girlfriend. And I have played out different scenarios in my head, all of them ending with a negative result.

What if he was sent to set me up and catch me in an entrapment?

What if he’s tired of his girlfriend – my friend – and he’s looking for a reason to break up with her, and I’m that reason?

Then I also wonder: What if he’s genuinely interested in me?

I honestly don’t know what to do.

Another thing is: Jide has this friend, Bode, who is effeminate. But Bode tries to hide this fact about himself and often behaves masculine – a poor attempt, if you ask me. Ever since Jide started flirting with me, I began thinking the two of them were fucking on the down-low.

The other day, before my exams, I saw the two of them talking, and they were looking in my direction. I didn’t know what to think, to be honest. But I’m paranoid enough to wonder if they are up to some evil design against me.

Please help me, guys. Give me advice on what to do before I eventually pick one of the scenarios I’m envisioning that might land me in trouble.

Submitted by Blue

Previous Lessons Learned From ‘She Called Me Woman’ (Entry 14)
Next Lessons Learned From ‘She Called Me Woman’ (Entry 15)

About author

You might also like

Dear KD 55 Comments

Dear KD: I Wonder About Him

So this thought has been lingering on my mind for a while now, and it got triggered again when I saw a missed call a few nights ago. The missed

Dear KD 6 Comments

The Proposal: 4 Queer Men And A Bisexual Woman Are Looking For Partners

My name is Michael. I’m 34 years old, a US resident, professional and gay. I am looking to be connected to a nice, kind, educated, Christian fem lesbian between 26

Dear KD 38 Comments

Dear KD: I’m A Side Who Has A Boyfriend Who Is Insisting On Anal Sex

Guys, I need advice on this issue please. I have always made it clear from the start anytime I chat with any potential romantic interest that I am not into


  1. Swan King
    August 10, 08:00 Reply

    “And I have played out different scenarios in my head, all of them ending with a negative result”. There’s Ur answer. What U can do is to tell him to stop all that, that it’s disrespectful to his girlfriend, Ur friend, even if it’s just harmless play and in addition, U don’t play that kind of play.

    So what if he and Bode are doing the devil’s tango? It’s really none of Ur business. I must emphasize that in this toxic homophobic broth called Nigeria, never ever show Ur hand where U stand a lot to lose if word of Ur sexuality were to get out. If Bode wants, let him make the moves on U. Jide on the other hand is Ur girlfriend’s boyfriend. He is offlimits, until they break-up & he comes to U declaring love or lust.

  2. Purple Panther.
    August 10, 17:51 Reply

    Sis, Avoid him with the very last drop of blood in you. He is bad news and you are gona be too if you don’t fucking run.

    If he is attractive and you like him, guess what a million more single gay men are out there and you’ll surely like a few. But this particular devil will screw you up in ways you can’t even fathom yet.

  3. Black Dynasty
    August 10, 18:01 Reply

    It’s simple, stay away. Partners of your friends are off limits. If you are uncomfortable with what he does, then simply avoid those situations or tell him off. E.g. him touching thighs, ass etc. You can push his hand away.

    I’d really advise you to keep your distance, the drama that will ensue should anything happen and it’s found out, will be to your detriment….. but you already know this.

  4. Malik
    August 10, 21:04 Reply

    Don’t. Give him your heart an he’ll break it like he’s about to break his girlfriend’s. If he wants to end things with his girlfriend and start with you, he should make things clear to both of you. But even the best case scenario of that would be messy. Just don’t.

  5. Pablo
    August 11, 02:39 Reply

    He is not straight. Take this from me. And people like him are dangerous. Infact, as a rule , people who play bicurious or bisexual are no no to me. They tend to have internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity. From experience. If you like , go on, you would come here to narrate your sad experience. I bet you.

Leave a Reply