Unto Me He Was Given

Unto Me He Was Given

I was in year two in medical school. ASUU was on strike and I was home, idling away on the social media. I was scrolling through Facebook and stumbled on a profile on my Friend’s Suggestion list. The profile picture struck me for no specific reason: it was the picture of a young school boy in his school uniform. Without realizing why I was doing so, I sent a friend request to the profile. It wasn’t long before the school boy accepted my request and we began chatting. He told me his name was Sam (not real name). He asked me my age. I told him and asked him his. His reply startled me. Forty-two years old. How come? Omo school?

I went back to check the profile picture and was surprised to realize that the photo was actually of an adult male clad in a navy blue suit, with a red tie and a red hat. I’d forgotten to enlarge the picture when I first saw it, and so, spotting it as a tiny index it was had presented the illusion of a young secondary school boy in his uniform.

In the following weeks, we progressed in our acquaintanceship. We got to learn a lot about each other, somehow settling on a definition for our relationship in the process. He adopted the role of a god father to me, encouraging me to speak freely of my issues to him and confide my secrets in him. He was very understanding and equally took me into his confidence. I got to learn that he’d been a virgin until he got married at thirty-two. He let me into his world of a man who wasn’t inclined to skirt-chasing, and had been able to remain a virgin till that age because he hadn’t been particularly interested in girls. He’d attributed his lack of avid sexual interest in females to the trauma he suffered as a victim of rape by his aunt when he was six.

We shared a lot, the two of us. Sam very quickly became the very definition of a friend to me.

Occasionally, he’d ask me if I had a girlfriend, and my answer was always of course No. Now, it didn’t matter how close we were, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about my sexuality. So of course he assumed that the absence of a girlfriend was because I was being a good boy, and he encouraged that character.

And then came the day when my boyfriend at the time broke up with me with a bible verse (one I’d forgotten now). The breakup shattered me; at this time I was in my fourth year in school and he was in his first year. In spite of the disparity of our ages, I’d grown to love him during the course of our relationship. And he had to use a bible verse to end what we had! I was so distraught and feeling so vulnerable, that that night, I finally opened up to Sam about my sexuality, adding to it my breakup and the bible verse that had ended my happiness.

Following my ‘confessions’, he sent me a message, encouraging me to remain positive about who I am, while also asking me to seriously consider repenting from my homosexuality. (You should probably know now that he was an evangelist and a choir master in his church). Of course I didn’t give much thought to his repentance message, but our relationship remained intact, with the additional benefit of me freely talking to him about my past relationships and my life as a young gay man. He listened and had kind words, and always asked me to repent.

Eventually, four years after I made Sam’s acquaintance, we met in person. I visited him, and was stunned by how youthful he looked for forty-six years of age. His wife was home, a nice, nondescript woman who was immediately relegated to the background when he took me to a private parlour in the house so we could have a good talk. We chatted for some time, and then he looked at me with feeling and said, “I love you.”

This wasn’t the first time he’d told me this. In the four years I’d known him, I’d come to know him to be an emotional person who was freely-speaking of his emotions. Tender words like ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ peppered our conversations, and I didn’t think much of them. Our friendship was platonic and there couldn’t be any sexual connotation to the words of endearment, right?

Wrong.

After saying the words to me, he quickly leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. I was startled by that move. I didn’t know what to say. But that was alright, because he had plenty to say. He wanted me to spend the night in his house, because his wife was going on a vigil. I was bewildered. What was going on here? He was a friend and father to me for heavenssakes! How did we get to this point where he was kissing me and asking me to spend the night because the wife was conveniently going to be away? I declined the invitation. I needed time to process this shift in our relationship.

When I announced my intention to go on home, he walked me some of the way to where I’d get on a transport, informing me that he’d be coming around in a week to my place to return the visit. I accepted.

On the day before the day he was supposed to come see me, I asked if he wanted to meet my family or just wanted some alone time with me. He opted for the latter. He said he was too shy to meet my family.

My family has an estate inside which my father owns five houses; my family and I occupy two of the houses, with my parents staying in one and my siblings and I occupying the other. My siblings, all girls and older, had left the nest, and so I had the house to myself. This was why I’d asked Sam what kind of visitation he wanted. When he opted for privacy, I directed him to my place instead of my parents’.

He came around and we talked about all manner of things for about an hour. Just when I was beginning to relax with the realization that this visit was going to remain cordial, he asked me what I’d say if he said he wanted to suck my tongue. I stiffened. And then I smiled stiffly at him. He must have taken that as consent, because he leaned forward and claimed my lips in a kiss.

There was no holding back after he kissed me, and before long, we were tearing off our clothes and coming together, skin on skin, limbs intertwined. Before he left that day, we made love about three times. It was so intense.

This new level of our intimacy opened an avenue for me to ask the questions I suddenly had. I wanted to know if he’d always been homosexual. He didn’t have a good answer to that. I asked if he’d engaged in any gay sexual acts before me. He said no. I was his first. He’d always wanted to but hadn’t the nerves to pursue his desires. These we talked about before he left that day.

And then, following that day, he became attached to me, stronger than he’d ever been. He wanted us to be in a relationship. He wanted to be my lover and everything else in between. I declined. He didn’t like that and he didn’t relent. He began acting jealous each time he saw guys on my BBM display picture. He’d send me money while I was in school, and visited me in school severally. There was more sex, and with each carnal knowledge he gained of me, he sank deeper and got more attached. Our relationship began to get very heavy and quite demanding. It got to a head when he resigned from his evangelism commitments and choirmaster position in church. When I asked him why he did that, at first he gave me the excuse that he’d gotten too swamped with work to focus on those extracurricular activities. I knew that was bullshit and I pressed him for the truth. He finally admitted that he’d begun to feel dirty anytime he picked up a mic to sing in church or evangelize.

And now, he’s gotten commitment rings for the both of us. I declined the ring, and even though he felt crushed, I could see the strange mix of misery and optimism in his expression – that optimism and determination he has adopted that speaks of a man who wants to have what he desires.

This makes me worry – about his wife and his two children. And these days, I’m nagged by the guilt of what part I’ve played in bringing about this perilous attraction. I know it’s a ridiculous thought, but I can’t help but wonder sometimes if perhaps it was my fault that an ‘innocent’ man had turned so gay.

Written by King Tee

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153 Comments

  1. Johnny
    August 15, 06:56 Reply

    After snatching a woman’s husband , you ll come here and be forming innocent child abi? There is God o. This is just like a friend if mine, brother Beyonce forming straight.

    • Pink Panther
      August 15, 07:04 Reply

      I don’t think the man was forming anything. I don’t even think the man understood his sexuality until King Tee came along.

  2. Mandy
    August 15, 07:01 Reply

    Waaawuuu! This is a lot to take in.
    This is what I suppose is the problem with some late bloomers. They’re either frustrating to love because, well, IH is heavily carried. Or they love very very hard. For Sam to pick his desire for you over his church appointments, for him to get a commitment ring, something tells me that if this was a more tolerant society, this would be one of those stories we read where the man comes out to his wife late in life and moves into his relationship proper with his male lover.
    He seems so naive.

  3. kennedy
    August 15, 07:02 Reply

    he’s always been gay…nobody just “turns” gay…he just needed the right person to make him feel comfortable about his sexuality.

  4. Francis
    August 15, 07:18 Reply

    I foresee a shitload of drama. Hmmmmm, not my portion IJN. ???

    • ambivalentone
      August 15, 08:11 Reply

      Azzzin ehn!!! One day he will wake up to the realisation that its all a sin and go all super churchy and preachy again. Its why I am finding it hard to believe he hasn’t had sex with a guy before you. Its a vicious cycle of denial one don’t want to experience.

      BTW, I wonder what you were thinking doing a married man…and with kids. Your name is apt. King Th…..*presses mute button*…shame

  5. Delle
    August 15, 07:52 Reply

    Oh no, you’re not the reason he’s gay. Apparently, he’s the conservative type (got disvirgined at age 32). He was obviously in denial for the most part of his life, never had any chance to explore (prolly didn’t even want to) and you came along (you sent the request, right?).
    Most men of that age didn’t have it as we do now especially in the aspect of homosexuality. It’s obvious in his messages of repentance when you came out to him that he was in denial. Beclouded by religion, warped by what the bible told him and all of that. The only hitch here is his marriage, his kids. The thing about late bloomers is their vulnerability due to lack of exposure and inexperience.

    It’s not advisable you enter into a relationship with him (wtf is a commitment ring?! Who does that?). You guys could still be friends and all but don’t be the reason his family is torn apart.

    • Tiercel de Claron
      August 15, 08:12 Reply

      ‘It’s not advisable you enter into a relationship with him (wtf is a commitment ring?! Who does that?).’

      Aside the wife/family tangle,would like to know what other reason(s) you have against their being in a relationship.You have a problem with commitments?

      • Delle
        August 15, 08:55 Reply

        Isn’t the family tangle enough reason?

          • Delle
            August 15, 18:23 Reply

            Unfortunately, there were none.

  6. Tiercel de Claron
    August 15, 08:01 Reply

    Hmmmm.

    Wish them wisdom, strength and the fortitude to stand the tough period coming their way soon.

  7. bain
    August 15, 08:09 Reply

    “a
    navy blue suit, with a red tie and a red hat”. Who wears that biko nu?
    He is married for christ sakes,u shouldn’t even have let him “suck your tougue”……ugh!

    • Colossus
      August 15, 11:39 Reply

      Assin eh. Tueh! How on earth he allowed a married man suck his tongue is beyond me. That’s so risky, he could contact the MGM disease, now he has to go get tested. Wish you luck bro, hope you come out negative.

      • Delle
        August 15, 18:22 Reply

        Blehh. This crappy sarcasm again…

        • Pink Panther
          August 15, 18:57 Reply

          His sarcasm is always on point. Lol. It’s only crappy because it’s not in favour of your opinion.

          • Delle
            August 16, 07:47 Reply

            No, PP. It’s always stale. Same old. Monotony, they say, kills interest.

        • Colossus
          August 15, 19:03 Reply

          My brother, wetin I go do nah? Sarcasm helps me cope when I don’t get blowjobs, stop singing in the church choir and basically stop going to church.
          I have nothing left. Please, leave me this one thing. I’ll do better, I promise.

  8. Dickson Clement
    August 15, 08:13 Reply

    Let’s just be clear, the choir master is not truthful!

    Firstly, facebook suggested his page… hello!! …
    Secondly, he became your friend and a father figure #issoraiit
    Thirdly, he kept giving you the ‘I love you’ message. *groundbreaking

    Now, let me psycho-analyze this
    1) some married gay men will not open up about their fulminant homosexuality. (especially the public figures and the church type)
    2) He certainly has other children figure he was screwing ‘secretly’ before you #when you dig deeper, u will find them.
    3) if you were truely his first gay sex, he would still have the guilty mind after that sex… there is a psychiatry book I read that talked about the stages it takes for pple to accept their sexuality! But he kept on drilling that well… seems to me he had drilled more oil wells than Dangote and all the middle east put together!

    No! It’s not his first time! Son of a bitch is playing you!

    • Tiercel de Claron
      August 15, 08:43 Reply

      Facebook suggest loads of friends to me,a large number of whom are neither known to me nor do we have mutual friends.

      I’ve made friends,younger friends,and have been a sorta big brother to them,so..your point?
      As to your psycho-analysis……you need to get your head cleared of those fumes n return back to class,doc

    • Peak
      August 15, 09:16 Reply

      @DC I totally get where you are coming from, its a very plausible angle if u ask me.
      I’m not exactly sold on him having other children he is screwing around with. You make it sound like he is child devouring monster. He doesn’t seem that way to me.

      • Tiercel de Claron
        August 15, 09:39 Reply

        Just tired of having folks get on a limping horse to call judgement on what they know next-to-nothing about.
        I myself have an issue with the man being married and with kids,but if that’s okay with the author of this piece or they can find a way about it without having anyone hurt,then cool.
        Ought else is their business,no one else’s

      • Peak
        August 15, 09:46 Reply

        @TDC, Welcome to KD, the land of the pure and righteous

        • Tiercel de Claron
          August 15, 10:09 Reply

          if you were truely his first gay sex, he would still have the guilty mind after that sex… there is a psychiatry book I read that talked about the stages it takes for pple to accept their sexuality!

          This really annoyed.
          I bloomed late,never had a drop of guilt after.Oh,I knew what it was all about,just had other more important things to focus on.Where DC got this crap from really baffles.

      • Peak
        August 15, 10:21 Reply

        People are always quick to forget that we are all different, experience thing and feel differenly. Sexuality transcends beyond just having sex. There are just too many layers of complexity involved. Some solve and figure it out with ease, others struggle b4 getting a hang of it, while others never get it. The closest thing I can cite as example right now, is how people generally struggle with arithmetics and equations.

    • ambivalentone
      August 15, 09:17 Reply

      Thanks hunnay. The second point was so a hit on the head

    • Pink Panther
      August 15, 09:48 Reply

      Ladies and gentlemen, let’s give a resounding ovation to Dickson Clement and hi incredible powers of discernment.

  9. Tiercel de Claron
    August 15, 08:22 Reply

    I forget MGM get no love/sympathy on this board.Shaping up to be one of them bashing days.
    *sigh*

  10. Khaleesi
    August 15, 09:39 Reply

    Wow .. just wow!! The twists and turns and depths … Wow!!

  11. Peak
    August 15, 09:44 Reply

    Now this story is uncooked as it gets. I want to commend you for sharing such a bold and controversial story. We don’t get shit like these very often anymore.

    I don’t think you made him gay. Sam most likely knew he was gay ages ago, but felt holding steadfast to religion and getting married would quell his his attractions. He thought he could beat it. He most certainly MAY have dabbled in his early years, but not enough to know who he is or what he wants.

    I met a man in January of 2015, He was 12 years older than me, married with a son. Married at the age of 30, and b4 then never had any gay encounter, but knew he was gay. Married early and devoted himself 2 work and religion hoping that would kill his “lust/love” for men. He held on and tried to be good for as long as he could but cracked. He enjoys being dominated, and serving “his man”. A good man if u ask me. Sadly I was struggling with issues of my own and I couldn’t get pass the idea of a child being in the picture. Where am I going with this? All he said is very possible except the part where he was straight until he met you. You probably are the 1st real person that made it easy to accept himself. Feel and understand something he has struggled so hard with. Yes, it’s sad that he is married. Commonsense demands that you shouldn’t have allowed things to get this far, but at the back of my mind, I can’t help but be reminded that the reason why we are all gathered here, is because sometimes we don’t get to choose who we love or who we are attracted to. If we could, I am sure our stories would be different.

    Emmmm one more thing, something tells me u are afraid of the backlash, which is why u left out the part that u might feel more for our Sam than u are letting on (LOL, I may be imagining things though). I wish u all the luck in the world, cos heaven knows you will be needing it.

    Thanks again for sharing.

    • Pink Panther
      August 15, 09:56 Reply

      You probably are the 1st real person that made it easy to accept himself. Feel and understand something he has struggled so hard with.

      This is my exact understanding of Sam.

    • Tiercel de Claron
      August 15, 11:56 Reply

      ‘Emmmm one more thing, something tells me u are afraid of the backlash, which is why u left out the part that u might feel more for our Sam than u are letting on (LOL, I may be imagining things though). I wish u all the luck in the world, cos heaven knows you will be needing it.’

      You didn’t imagine it,came out loud.Unless,I imagine same thing too.

    • Chandler B.
      August 15, 20:54 Reply

      Coming on the blog late this evening to see this post and the comments that followed I thought ‘Damn! Good story but some of our ever ‘righteous’ KDians and their distaste for married men would come and drop blind comments and it’d be too late to drop mine.’
      Expectedly, so far the comments were somewhat disappointing, until I saw yours Peak. You said it just exactly like I would have, even your last paragraph.

      Good luck King Tee. I think you feel just as strongly for Sam as he does for you. Don’t throw something good away because some people can’t see beyond their nose.

  12. FOOFOO
    August 15, 09:51 Reply

    MGM? Hmmmm… They are mostly never loyal. When the going gets tough they would most probably choose their Mrs over you. That’s how one almost made me give him a BJ at hospital parking lot inside his car at night, same hospital his wife just birthed at… Hian! Oburukwam!

    • Peak
      August 15, 10:13 Reply

      Awwww look at you in all ur saintly glory. We should burn the MGM for commiting the abominable sin of wanting gay sex while his wife is a few yards away and spare the saint who left the covenience of his house to preach the good news to an MGM in the confines of a car.

      Praise god!

    • Colossus
      August 15, 11:51 Reply

      These MGM them sef. In the same hospital? Wawu, no respect. Germs can be flying around that parking lot, thank God you didn’t agree before you catch one communicable disease. It’s known that hospitals don’t sanitize their parking lots.

      To think that after you left your house, went to meet in in a hospital, he now wanted a blowjob? Imagine his konkobility.

  13. You-Know-Who
    August 15, 09:59 Reply

    Planning to have sex a with a boy in your matrimonial home while your wife goes for Vigil?

    I detest MGM.. its either i don’t marry ever!! or i eventually stop gay sex when i marry cause i know i can never stop being gay. Sadly, Im the kind of guy who might eventually be sleeping with the house boy when am married. so to avoid such scenarios.. Never be a MGM or Stop gay sex. tough choices.

  14. DI-NAVY
    August 15, 11:06 Reply

    Y’all should zip it and quit bashing the MGM!!!! For crying out low, they are humane and they have feelings.
    Just because you are young and the pressure to get married hasn’t come to your door step does not give you the impetus to detest any human being.
    A gay man is a gay man. Be it married, single or whatever. Not all MGM are lousy. We all come here with our sanctimonious attitude filled with fake righteousness to call out MGM as if they are beasts. Yes, they are living with a veejayjay but they still have a thing for bujaina. Some are responsible in their marriage while some are not.

    MR KING TEE. I have been in your shoes and trust me, you didn’t make him gay, rather he’s super obsessed with you and that could be dangerous. Obsession is a silent burner. He just can’t handle his emotions right about now. It’s obvious you made him come alive with that part of him he’s been trying to hard to suppress. Ngwanu, good luck. If the sex is so good, you better enjoy it while it lasts.

  15. Klaus
    August 15, 11:57 Reply

    wait ooo? are you guys actually defending a married man sleeping with someone else? gay or not? would you guys stil defend a cheating husband if he’s straight? this isn’t about sexuality to me, its about morals , respect , decency and loyalty to his marriage and kids! if you know you’d be fucking boys whilst married, you have no business getting married in the first place! its either you accept your sexuality or give in to pressure, but if you choose the later, be man enough to hold up to your marital vows! what rubbish!

    • Viera
      August 15, 12:01 Reply

      so bisexuals are cheating on thier boyfriends and girlfriends simultaneously I guess?
      abi being bisexual is a bad thing?

      • Klaus
        August 15, 16:38 Reply

        read and comprehend, bisexual or not, my point is stick with the person you want to be with, don’t go about making commitments knowing you will break it. you’re bisexual? fine, just stick with one partner at a time! female or male! not playing the victim because you gave into matita pressure

    • Peak
      August 15, 13:30 Reply

      Quite frankly, I find myself walking a thing line on this subject. We find ourselves faced with the issue of sexuality and cheating. Roughly and tightly woven together. Disentangling both issues is not as easy as we often make it sound. So yeah, cheating on ur spouse is bad, low, and should be frowned upon. I totally agree! But I find myself struggling with the idea that a large majority of KDians like to play the ignorant card, when the issue of cheating is being peddled by straight folks. We see it openly displayed in our religious houses, in our families, schools, place of work and all around us with so much as not batting an eye.
      Cheating is an issues that cuts across the general population. No one bothers to give our fathers, uncles, brothers or friends all the sanctimonious lecture we see here at the mention of the term MGM. like everyother issue facing the LGBT matters, we bite our tongue, give approval by either biting cheering them on, listening to their tales of sex and conquer or staying silent. Then come to KD with our holier than thou regalia to spill venom. #Hypocrite comes to mind at the sight of such people.

      An MGM, is every inch human as their straight counterparts. If u want to judge them, hold them accountable with the same laws which u hold their straight counterparts. If u can turn a blind eye to the sins of a married straight man, why can’t u accord an MGM the same courtesy?
      So you see why I have a problem taking all these anti-MGM campaign seriously?

      Lol @ you bringing up the word morality. A homosexual, having the nerve to use the word in judgement of another human being. Lol, boy you tew funnay. Quite the sense of humor u ve there.

      Let’s not forget that yall asking for their heads are the same ones doing them. I am sure if you anti-MGM and forever gay and single boys stop paying them no mind, these men MIGHT be forced to focus on their marriage. You keep giving them honey and expect them to stay loyal to someone who isn’t? Perhaps we should all stop encouraging them and allow them focus on their damn marriage.

      Typical Nigerian! Blame everyone but themselves for every situation gone wrong.

      • Colossus
        August 15, 13:36 Reply

        Haba unkulu, you play too much. Which one is it nah? Biko MGM are evil people, going about seeking blowjobs in parking lots.

      • Klaus
        August 15, 16:41 Reply

        so, your point is; because the society don’t give straight folks much trouble or backlash for cheating, we should also do same and give MGM’s a pass card? really? like seriously? tufia!!!

      • Peak
        August 15, 19:15 Reply

        @ Klaus, but isn’t that the base for our demand for equality? Why can straight people do as they please and we cannot do the same. It’s not rocket science you know. A sin is a sin! We are being regarded and treated as out casts because we sin differently from straight folks. Aren’t we all human and equal before the sight of man and God? So why hand out wavers to cheat to straight folks and hang gay folks for it? Why, pray tell?

    • Amor
      August 15, 14:03 Reply

      Thanks for bringing up the point on morals Klaus. Totally has nothing to do with sexuality, but respecting the marriage/commitment values.

  16. Viera
    August 15, 11:58 Reply

    :(..
    so all of you bashing the MGM
    How many 4o something year old do you know that are gay and not married to women
    I mean Nigerian MGMs
    do you think there was KD in the eighties?
    or do you think there was grindr and all dem gay apps those days
    those were d dark ages for gays once you’re thirty ur mama go don dey eye u upandan if this guy is so naive about his sexuality I do understand things were not as globalized as they are now
    King Tee the lord is your muscle
    don’t get hurt nd dont hurt anybody
    nice article beautiful comments
    *dabs wet eyes*

    • Pjay
      August 15, 13:39 Reply

      Now that we have KD and all those other apps, the dark ages has to come to an end. We need to start a revolution. I, on my part have decided to be the gay uncle and brother in my family. The successful gay role model that a young boy struggling to accept his sexuality in my neighbourhood can look up to. The fact that people in the 80s, 90s and 2000s were cowards does not mean we have to be cowards too. This trail needs to be blazed by some people and I doubt if those people can be MGM.

      • Peak
        August 15, 19:10 Reply

        “I, on my part have decided to be the gay uncle and brother in my family. The successful gay role model that a young boy struggling to accept his sexuality in my neighbourhood can look up to. ”

        Emmm quick question. Going by the above statement, is it safe to assume that u are out and proud? I mean that’s the only way you can SUCCESSFULLY thrive as gay ROLE MODEL and icon that young people in ur family and neighbourhood can look up to. And please don’t forget to indicate if u are in Nigeria or not. Now and through out ur new found life’s mission.

        Thank you.

  17. Klaus
    August 15, 12:07 Reply

    i was once talking with a married man too, married,2 kids , religious, married a virgin, never had gay sex but wank to gay porn always,doesnt enjoy sex with his wife and other crap, we met at KFC in festac, finished talking and he was walking me home, and we stopped in front of a mechanic shop, he started touching me, wanting me to wank him there, in public, he was that desperate, that moment, i saw through his lies, for someone who’s never accepted himself or had gay sex, he was very bold and horny! i left, communication reduced. one time a friend visited me, i was going collecting some series via Xender when a message popped him, this same man oo, i asked my Friend about him,and he told me exact same things this man told him! its a pattern with most MGM’s, stay away from them, any man that can’t hold up his Marital vows can’t date you or stay faithful to you too! STAY AWAY FROM MGM’S, they can’t havd their cake and still eat it, its either you accept yourself or stick to your wife!

    • Colossus
      August 15, 12:31 Reply

      I strongly agree with you. I once met an FRSC officer, he kept talking how he didn’t want sex, how he just wants a friend. I was ready ooo, that was what I also wanted. Imagine what happened when we met. He wanted to give me a blow job right there in my car, can you believe that? Haba mana! Not only us that unsanitary, it was a major breach of trust. Needless to say, we parted ways, I began to distrust all FRSC officers.

      OK, that might not really be the same thing as your own scenario but it might help if I say a single guy also did the same thing? Now I can’t be friends with Single FRSC men.

      • Pjay
        August 15, 12:45 Reply

        pele o, advocate for the married gay man. tcheew!!!

        • ambivalentone
          August 15, 13:14 Reply

          looool. Radarada. This desperate need to portray these guys as victims stinks nma.

        • Colossus
          August 15, 13:38 Reply

          Ha! Brother, I’m not advocating for them nah. I’m bashing them, I want to appear young, hip and cool too. Don’t lump me up with Di-Navy biko

    • Chandler B.
      August 15, 21:08 Reply

      Uncle good evening oh. Sorry eh I want to ask, didn’t you know he was married with two kids before you went to meet him in KFC? Didn’t you know that ultimately he, as a married gay man, would want to have relations with you? So it’s after you have chop KFC finish that blood started flowing to the anti-MGM part of your brain abi?
      Please please siddon in your house abeg.

      That is how Uncle FooFoo said an MGM wanted blowjob in a parking lot while his wife was having a baby. Because he didn’t know any of the above details before going to meet the man in the parking lot abi?
      All you righteous children should rest abeg.

      • Klaus
        August 15, 22:22 Reply

        keep kwayet! i met him as a friend and nothing more! just cause you will have done stuff with him doesn’t mean i will too! stop judging me with your morals,if you even have any

        • Chandler B.
          August 15, 22:55 Reply

          My bad. Pardon me. I guess MGMs’ aren’t that evil afterall. We could have them as friends but we can’t have ‘stuffs’ with them. We can go to KFC and eat with them oh, all the while telling them how they are the scum of the earth and, probably, the primary reason why the gay community is where it is today. Of course you are right Uncle Klaus. Be friends with those you’d spit on because of the way they live, so long as you don’t do it while you both are eating in KFC, it’s fine.
          I guess all my straight friends that are homophobic behind my back but are ‘friends’ to my face while we eat at KFC together might truly not be homophobic after all.

          • Chandler B.
            August 15, 22:56 Reply

            And you even carry mind add ‘stop judging me’ in the same sentence. Yet you are forming judge and jury ontop your supposed friend matter.
            Uncle pick a struggle abeg.

            • Klaus
              August 16, 08:09 Reply

              MGM apologist!! go about nacking boys oo, and your wife and kids will be proud of you, weldone, dad of the year! and talking about picking a struggle? coming from a married man fucking boys outside his marriage? ooooh! the irony! gerrarahia jare! I’m sure one small boy is waiting for you at the car park..

              • Pink Panther
                August 16, 08:33 Reply

                Uh Klaus, the person you’ve called a dad and a married man is actually very single and very childless. The hastiness with which we jump into assessments of people here simply based on the fraction of what we read about them is quite funny, especially given how far off mark most of us are. To sum up a person you don’t know based on the little you read of him and driven by personal prejudice is just flawed.

                • Chandler B.
                  August 16, 15:35 Reply

                  As in eh, atink you can see Pinkie? Ehen people’s arguments have lost basis they begin to attack the arguer. People can’t argue properly anymore especially when their morality stick is so far up their ass it has begun to affect their reasoning.

  18. Francis
    August 15, 13:00 Reply

    @Colossus I can see you’re really investing this your free time ????????

    @Peak ??? If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the past 6 months, it’s that some of us have it really easy and some us are living in terror. To each his own biko. I’m just happy my folks are not militants. Praise be to God.

    • Colossus
      August 15, 13:39 Reply

      As economy no wan improve nah, let me finally lend my voice to this MGM issue. Get rid of them and naija go better

      • Pink Panther
        August 15, 13:50 Reply

        LMAO! Colossus, you’ve officially usurped Chestnut from the throne of hot mess.

    • Peak
      August 15, 13:44 Reply

      Nwannam, na so the thing be o. Sadly we are too pickled in our crab mentality to give room to contrasting narratives.

  19. Pjay
    August 15, 13:08 Reply

    But really, I don’t get why people feel the need to defend MGMs. The truth is they can’t eat their cake and have it. If you felt the urge to bow to societal pressure and therefore decided to take a wife, then you must take it a step further and bow to the pressure to be “heterosexual”. I don’t blame MGMs anyway, I blame the single gay and bisexual men who allow them to cheat on their wives with them. If we must nip this menace of gay men marrying women to fit in in the bud, those of us who are still single and uninterested in conforming to some mundane societal standards must take a bold stand to frustrate the practice. Say no to romps with married men!!!

  20. Rho Adams
    August 15, 13:11 Reply

    If you can live with the guilt of tearing apart a probable faithful wife from a supposedly straight-acting but gay husband, allowing their kids experience life of a separated home, then please accept the commitment ring without delay.

    If you can’t, leave him be and stay away as far as possible with little or no contact.
    Please don’t continue if you don’t want your conscience seared(thank God you still have one)

  21. iliana
    August 15, 13:25 Reply

    people can b so judgemental on this blog,smh for y’all. Only a few made sense e.g Di-Navy . I don’t see d luv that I thought would b on a blog with ppl of d same kind. Disappointed

  22. Deola
    August 15, 14:10 Reply

    There things that are for sure in this life:
    Meryl Streep will always be nominated for an Oscar
    DC will forever make polarizing movies
    And MGMs will forever bring the comments to the KD yard!

    Yassss hunnay. It’s a wonderful day and I see all our Georginas have their wigs and robes on and judgement has commenced.

    Honestly There isn’t enough popcorn for this.

    • Peak
      August 15, 14:58 Reply

      Hahahahahaha iDied.
      Honestly this shit cracked me up.

      MGM is where the money is, u can always count on it to break box office.

  23. Canis VY Majoris
    August 15, 14:59 Reply

    “but I can’t help but wonder sometimes if perhaps it was my fault that an ‘innocent’ man had turned so gay”

    LMAO the ridiculousness in that line though.

    If you’re not happy with where things are, END IT.

  24. sinnex
    August 15, 14:59 Reply

    I actually need to read more of these kind of stories. It would also be better if we can get the other side of the story.

    I am still waiting for the MGM series…

    It is only a matter of months before I become one…

  25. IBK
    August 15, 15:25 Reply

    Interesting read.

    I feel sorry for the MGM.. And all other gay men. It sucks that we aren’t free to be with who we want to be with. I don’t have an opinion on this and I’m not about to start talking about the morality of the issue on ground.

    I’m however quite sure you didn’t turn him gay. You also should take a stand and decide whether to stop seeing the guy or continue to be Le side bae. You probably encourage him by continuing to engage him though there are some people who can’t take a clue.

    Good luck.

  26. Francis
    August 15, 15:33 Reply

    ION, one fine ass mallam just walked in with his kid, and we just dey eye ourselves *sign of the cross* ?????

    • Colossus
      August 15, 15:57 Reply

      ?????
      Better run oooo, before he’ll invite you to his house, ask you to suck his tongue and thereafter start stalking you. Flee brother, flee.

  27. Mandy
    August 15, 16:02 Reply

    When I first read this piece this morning, the main thing that struck me was the complexity of Sam. His vulnerability. His seeming struggles to reconcile his sexuality and faith.

    The fact that he’s married didn’t even register as much. I just saw a man who’s troubled by the choices he’s made and the ones he’s making. A man who quit his church obligations and admitted to feeling dirty as the reason he quit. A man who didn’t go the obvious route of internalized homophobia and trying to shame King Tee into feeling guilty about his sexuality. A man who clearly didn’t know better when he got married, but is now flailing with the realization of the kind of sexual love he now wants.

    This man is complex. And this man is struggling.

    And if this man were reading this blog, y’all just messed up in your primary duty to guide him into self acceptance. I should’ve known the underlying MGM factor would blind most of yall prejudicial KDians from addressing the issue of this man’s turmoil. Some are quick to call him a liar, a cheat, morally condescending to him. I can’t believe you guys honestly.

    Take away the fact that he’s married, and you’d see how much you’ve failed a member of this community who, in spite of his age, is still in a real big struggle. He quit church because he felt dirty, and the righteous among us are just giddily casting more dirt on him. Una weddone o.

    • ambivalentone
      August 15, 16:43 Reply

      There’s no amount of hand-wringing that is gonna change two facts in the complex life of an MGM.
      -He is married
      -He is gay
      but another person should not bear the sacrifices of his complexity ie his wife and children. Imagine loving bareback sex but being a hub of diseases. I guess its okay to have bareback sex with any unsuspecting person, say you, just because I LOVE bareback sex. But as is typical of our selfless MGM advocates, the disease sharing persona’s desire is primary. He MUST av his bareback sex with whoever is willing to get down with him. Its the other party’s business that he didn’t use a condom. And that sounds right?
      Life is complex as it is. Your complexities don’t make you special abeg

    • Klaus
      August 15, 16:52 Reply

      take away the fact he’s married? if we take away that fact,then there’s nothing to talk about!he is gay and he’s married, but still sleeping around,now imagine if your sister is his wife… oo yea,i don’t think you’d think this way again.

      • Francis
        August 15, 17:20 Reply

        I’ve thought about this before and I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to pass but if it comes to pass, if he’s a HOE and my sister has divulged her darkest secrets to him, I’M SO SPILLING!

        • Klaus
          August 15, 17:22 Reply

          lol… Francis? you don’t say! thought you’re pro mgm na!

          • ambivalentone
            August 15, 17:35 Reply

            don’t be too thankful yet. He says ‘if he is a HOE’. He prolly wouldn’t snitch if the husby has just one side dish. A regular fuck if you may. That sounds ‘reasonable’ na

            • Francis
              August 15, 18:17 Reply

              You don suddenly turn psychic abi? Please begin drop the real names of KD MGMs.

              • ambivalentone
                August 15, 20:09 Reply

                Thankfully, I have not become that jobless to monitor the lives and times of kdians. I’m not psychic. I didn’t pull THAT response outta head online. Quit preaching acceptance or fake tolerance for what you don’t wish on yourself or ur sister.

                • Francis
                  August 15, 20:15 Reply

                  So many things I wish I could say to you right now but I’ll just take a couple of deep breaths (make that 10) and ??????? #LongLiveTheKDConstitution.

                  • ambivalentone
                    August 15, 20:45 Reply

                    Please, don’t hold back on my account. I doubt I’ll be much impressed tho. I’ve got a nice sneer plastered on my face already.

          • Francis
            August 15, 18:19 Reply

            @Klaus I’m not pro MGM. I’m pro live your life BUT be ready to bear the burden of ya actions on ya own.

    • Chandler B.
      August 15, 21:14 Reply

      Another rare beautiful comment. Thank you Mandy. Thank you.

  28. Macho
    August 15, 16:37 Reply

    I know being MGM ain’t bad oooo

    but MGMs are the reason why gay community won’t be balanced in years
    ok my friend asked me to talk to his boyfriend who was fighting him
    I picked up my precious phone took my precious time to talk to the remedial fuck
    whilst I was at it he insulted me
    I asked him why he always indulged his wife and girlfriends and blow up my friend
    here’s his reply
    those people are my life
    im bisexual not a faggot
    if you need a girl goan get yourself one

    what did I do?
    I bought a new sim created a whatsapp group sent his girlfriends and wife chats of him and my friend
    and we’re all happy

    • Pink Panther
      August 15, 18:51 Reply

      He was an asshole. Such married gay men don’t get my empathy.

    • Peak
      August 16, 07:09 Reply

      Even Stevie Wonder can see what the man is suffering from is IH. It’s not about him being an MGM. He is pretty much in denial and has some misplaced sense of superiority. A single gay man can easily play out the above described scenario. Let’s learn to separate issues and treat them individually rather than muddle things up.

  29. Klaus
    August 15, 16:58 Reply

    ironical how a LGBT blog that’s meant to teach people to accept their gayness have majority of the commenters defending MGM’S and calling out people who see it wrong.. if all the gay icons had conformed an married the opposite sex, i don’t think LGBT will be where it is today, go on oo,go and marry a woman,then cheat on her with a man,and tell me how you will sleep peacefully at night…

    • ambivalentone
      August 15, 17:06 Reply

      I think they are either married to each other’s worst hated sister or something. Makes sleepover excuses very plausible.

  30. IBK
    August 15, 17:38 Reply

    Nothing wrong in seeing what the guy is doing as wrong.

    But can we please put down our pitchforks and stop running up and down screaming “crucify him” or turning him into a monster cause he is married.

    A lil more compassion never hurt anyone. Is it possible to put aside the morality of the situation and help the writer of the post above come to a conclusion on what to do concerning the situation and not turn it into how all married gay men are scum of the earth.

    I’m sure this is like talking to brick walls but still gotta try.

    • Klaus
      August 15, 17:48 Reply

      king tee knows the right thing to do, because we all know that man will never leave his wife and family for him, he wouldn’t, so he better wake up to reality and end this joke of a relationship.

      • Chandler B.
        August 15, 21:22 Reply

        Let me understand clearly, if there was even a chance that the man could leave his wife and family and marry King Tee then fine, he could go on with the relationship? With encouraging the married man to cheat because ultimately they’d be married? It’s a means to an end ba?

        So your problem is not this cheating you are singing about but because the cheating won’t lead to both of them living lovingly and happily ever after?

        So if we were in saner climes it is OK to sleep with married gay men because, who knows, you just might be that love of his life that was missing all along and you both could eventually get married?

    • ambivalentone
      August 15, 18:01 Reply

      Awwwwn!!! Well, its only fair we show compassion and allow these two desperately-in-love gay men their moment because, well they are gay, just as we are. Something about promise rings makes it all the more romantic and appeals to my gay nature. Espirit de corps biko. Who cares about the stupid woman? I am not her anyway.

      • ambivalentone
        August 15, 18:07 Reply

        esprit de corps biko. My eyes are all teary and I’m sooo emotional

        • Pink Panther
          August 15, 18:59 Reply

          I knew it!!! The quickness with which you pick up your pitchfork whenever MGM is a topic, and now your eyes are teary and you’re emotional? Uhn-uh! Gurl, this topic is way too personal to you.

          • ambivalentone
            August 15, 19:56 Reply

            Please o. Its a great love story. I’d be having a heart of stone if I couldn’t feel the great pain of the conflicting emotions tearing our MGMs apart. If I didn’t cry at the great potential of loving our many MGMs have. Please, let me cry my cry in peace.

  31. Dickson Clement
    August 15, 18:11 Reply

    This story is not about Married Gay Men!!!!

    For the record, I’m not against MGM, or Bisexuals…

    Anyone, I repeat Anyone, who reads this post and still can’t see that this choir master lied about the writer, being his first Gay sex… lacks insight.

    He was a virgin raped by his aunt at 6! A raped virgin? I even need the writer to explain this…

    He never even divulged his sexual feelings to the writer, even when he told him his deepest secrets!
    An honest person, who is going through the acceptance phase, would either stop chatting with you, relate his own sexual fantasy or act in ways that clearly tells you he is Gay!

    A married man, who has never had homosexual relation, who is discreet about his sexual history, suddenly wants to have sex with you in his matrimonial home? Comm’on guys, it doesn’t happen add up!

    My take is that this guy has been getting it….. it may be once in a while, once a year, once in two years…. but you are not the first… period!!!

    • Tee
      August 15, 18:58 Reply

      Wait thats true o! He was raped at the age of 6 and got married a virgin at the age of 32!sigh!!!!!!!!!! i cant comprehend biko…moving on.

      But really one of the strict rule of life is never get down with a married man/woman,well i haven’t been faced with such temptation,and cant really say what i would do, so i shall not Judge thee.

    • Peak
      August 15, 19:02 Reply

      @DC, I am not knocking ur argument. As far as I am concerned, they are quite valid. If you pay attention to the feedbacks, you realise that a lot of people and in agreement that King Tee has no business beating himself up with the idea that he made him gay. Home boy is probably trying to save face because that story doesn’t add up.

  32. Delle
    August 15, 18:49 Reply

    Lol. It’s really funny how the MGMs and their advocates didn’t win this battle round. Seems y’all are losing your premises. No cogent reasons except some horribly placed sarcasms and sentiments? Aww…

    That said, would it help a little if we start calling them MBMs and not MGMs? Putting aside uncalled for sentiments and the need to be seen as ‘compassionate’ and ‘open-minded’, a Married Gay Man is just a box of contradictions and as such won’t be totally accepted by gay folks.
    You like men and still get married to a woman? Such hilarity.

    MBM, I think, is better appropriate.

    • IBK
      August 15, 22:30 Reply

      A man can be gay and still have sex with women and even marry them.. It happens. MGM is still very appropriate. Your sexuality isn’t just who you sleep with or who you are with romantically.
      If the person in question sees himself as gay then he’s an mgm unless he says otherwise.
      It’s possible to use MOM if confusion/sentimentality (whatever that means) is what you’re worried about.

      • Delle
        August 16, 08:27 Reply

        “Your sexuality isn’t just who you sleep with or who you are with romantically. If the person in question sees himself as gay then
        he’s an mgm unless he says otherwise.”

        Firstly, I wanna get something straight…what does it truly mean to be gay? By just saying you are? By feeling the need to be associated with the term (whatever that means)? One can’t convince me he’s MGM just because he ‘tells me’ so.

        There’s a difference between sex and being romantically inclined with someone. The latter being more indepth. You can’t tell me a guy being romantically inclined with another (romance goes way beyond sex, that you should know), has the choice of saying if he’s gay or isn’t.
        Also, from what you’re saying, any gay man can just wake up to get married simply because he ‘wants’ to? Like Klaus said, how does that help our movement if the supposed GAY ones all get married?

        OAN, what’s an MOM?

  33. Mandy
    August 15, 19:32 Reply

    Oddly I’m actually somewhat pleased by all this intolerance of MGM. If this crop of KDians are a representation of this generation of Nigerian gay men, then we’re heading into a future where less men will wed and more families will have questions why, and hopefully more closets will be opened. This vitriol has to mean something for the immediate future…

    Otherwise, what’s the point?

  34. AstroGlide
    August 15, 21:42 Reply

    That awkward moment, top hoes and escorts suddenly unbury their morals. I give una nyash

  35. Truth
    August 16, 04:22 Reply

    KD is a good place to come to practice anger management. If I’m able to withstand ripping someone’s head off by the end of the last commeet, then I can handle anything out there.
    We’re all going to die and none of us in Nigeria would ever experience freedom.
    Life is empty; most people try to make meaning out of it by embracing religion and other things
    Kdians defend mgms because they’re impending mgms themselves and because they have no sense of worth for who they are. Straight people don’t marry people of the same sex, if you can’t see how wrong and stupid it is as a gay man to marry a woman, then there’s nothing I can do to help you. Some of ya’ll have no work except tapping away at your cheap keyboards and displaying your bitchcraft all in an attempt to sound funny, bro you’re petty AF and that’s not a good look on you.

    All of you here want love, you all want a man, a good man, but the truth is 99.9%of you don’t deserve it and you’ll never find it because the gayborhood is filled with fucked up people like you.

    Good luck with your struggles
    Good luck with defending sell outs
    And Good luck with finding a man.

    • ambivalentone
      August 16, 08:05 Reply

      I woke up and read every contrary comment and realised these guys av equated being gay with immorality. We are gay people already, having no claims to morality. Our lives should just be series of cheatings, fuckfests and all things amoral. There is indeed (NO) hope for the Nigerian gay scene

    • Klaus
      August 16, 08:18 Reply

      thank you! yet they all shout about internalized homophobia, what will make a gay man marry a woman, and still go about cheating on her? its either you hold up your marital vows, or don’t get married at all!

      • ambivalentone
        August 16, 08:40 Reply

        Uhm, THEY don’t. Max does that a lot-the IH shouting thingy. These ones are too busy being amoral to recognize and shout it.

  36. Peak
    August 16, 10:06 Reply

    I think comprehension and being nuetral is the term that best describes all the opinions contray to urs.

    1) Anyone who cheats ought to be called out on their two timing ways without exceptions period. U don’t reserve the Galloway for gay men who went against their nature to marry women and allow straight men commit the same crime with impunity.

    2) incase u have been living under a rock, the concept of morality is subjective. We are in the 21st century and everyone’s yardstick and idea of morality differs from the other. Ppl hold consider things from wearing revealing cloths, tatoos, piercing, atheist, free speaking, being a feminist, gay, transgender, having an active sex life, having an active social and night life, just to mention a few, are all immoral. So if ur feelings was hurt because you were handed a reminder that u have no grounds to condemn another man when u are equally condemned urself. It was so easy to accept a commenters reasoning, that Sam wasn’t RESPECTING the bracket of a COMMITMENT. I’d rather that , than all that sacred nonsense about the joke of an institution called marriage.

    3) Majority of these contrary opinions didn’t give the writer their blessing to carry on the liaison because it’s a tough case. We wished him luck with whatever decision or path he decides to travel. Live and lets live any one?

    4) instead of all the excessive howl and faultfinding, perhaps you all should invest ur time into learning about the the history and evolution of gay liberation movement. All ur emotionally charged, factless and baseless cries is doing nothing for nobody. Gay men are still getting married by their hundreds and I don’t see that changing anytime soon untill focus is directed to REAL issues and not men “Selling out”.

    • ambivalentone
      August 16, 12:11 Reply

      I never stop being amazed when some persons think this is all a witch hunt on MGMs because they are gay while straight people are exempt. I need clarification tho. Is this a Mainstream site for anyone and everyone? NEWS FLASH!!! This is an LGBTQI site with a large percentage of its readers expectedly LGBTQI. I am not expected to address people who do NOT exist for me as far as this site is concerned. But to clear doubts as to the my aversion fir the urritating nature of cheats, GAY OR STRAIGHT, ANY CHEAT IS A SCUMBAG NOT MEASURING UP TO THE DIRT WE TREAD ON EVERYDAY OF OUR LIVES. There. That should clear things up.
      SECONDLY, Marriage became a joke when the pearl of commitment it represents was, through the ages, thrown to pigs. The rubbish we see it today is the result of that -hiding under the male supremacy, culture and religion to disrespect it. You want to be a hoe? Be a hoe. I sure as hell do not care if u have many likes on ur instapics. But u want to be in a relationship? Be mature enough to know u want it and not av a roving eye. But of course, I am barking up wrong trees.
      FINALLY, do you really care to know why Gay Liberation Movements have never stepped up the pace as Black Rights Movements and Feminist Movements??? I will school you. Suffragettes didn’t hide behind their marriages and pretend they were enjoying it. Rosa Parks didn’t stand up politely and pretend she didn’t av the right to seat when she got on first. Gay folks though, they kept/keep hiding and making regular folks see us as unserious

      • Truth
        August 16, 12:37 Reply

        If you want freedom but not ready to work for it, then you’re the biggest joker. You can’t be screaming “oppression!!” when your actions/inactions are part of what is fueling it.
        In a nutshell – you don’t have the right to scream Foul!!! or complain when the whole of Nigeria thinks you’re an abomination if you don’t at least try to do something in your own part to stop it.

        • Peak
          August 16, 15:44 Reply

          Uncle Truth, I don’t have a 1st hand experience in battle tactics and strategy or political maneuvering, but I’d like to think there are things like reconnaissance, weaponry, infiltration, funding, sourcing of allies and building alliances, funding, lobbying and backdoor politics, occupying seats of power and legislation, looking out for weak links/spots, vantage points for penetration etc. Those are some of the areas of consideration if u want a shot at freedom in a crude and impossible state like Nigeria. MGM is not or ever our problem. There were and are still MGM in LGBT friendly countries. They existed b4 the advent of progressive laws and still thriving afterwards in these countries.

          A smart strategist (if we have one on KD at all) would be more preoccupied with ways to influence legislation, dissemination of information and education on sexuality/ sexual minorities, sexual health and responsibility. Rather cry day in day out how MGMs are keeping them from reaching their ull potentials and finding love.

          • Pink Panther
            August 16, 16:46 Reply

            ????????? When the real truth is told!!!! Dayum.
            ????????????

    • ambivalentone
      August 16, 12:41 Reply

      …a phase we’d soon grow out of, as catamites who are nothing but fine boy slaves to be toyed with. Just as well gay people conforming more and more under the guise of “respectability”, “I want my own children”, “I am bisexual. I think I’m free to marry a woman”, “My mummy and daddy are respectable homophobes. They forced me into regular marriages”. So my dear, if that is the evolution you want me to see, my eyes are open all too clearly and I am not impressed.

    • Peak
      August 16, 14:59 Reply

      Good thing that you brought up Rosa Parks. Do u know what separates her from you and i?She was no coward! She didn’t sit in some gatherings of negros and boast her head off, cuss out her white oppressors. She stood her grounds and fought on grounds where it mattered, spoke up where it mattered, let her actions speak for her on a stage where it counts, rather than cower away in some low class gathering. It took great acts of courage to change the narratives of lives and put names and events in history books. Rosa Park wasn’t waiting around for other black man and women to stand with her. Mohamed Bouazizi got tired of talking shit about his government, and made the ultimate sacrifice that got the attention of not just his leaders and country men, but captured the attention of the world over. Started a chain of events that revolutionised the face of mordern day revolution. He wasn’t sitting around waiting for “first to do”. He wasn’t waiting for his fellow country men to join hands with him 2 effect change. Harvey milk wasn’t sitting around waiting to know if he would be elected as the 1st openly gay politician or if he was going to get straight supports or if there were other openly gay politicians in the world. Our own Bisi Alimi wasn’t sitting around waiting to see who would come out with him or if his friends are lovers were “selling out” when he decided to knocked down the doors of his closet. Stonewall is what it is today when a Lesbian said no to police brutality and fought back. Not minding if she had back up or not. Malcom X, Cleopatra, Martin Luther King Jr. And the list goes on of men and women who have gone against the grain to reshape the future, was done all ON THEIR OWN. They didn’t force ppl to join in their fight, people stood by them because it was a right and just fight! Their courage fuelled and fed the courage of others. A true leader doesn’t have to strong arm, cuss out, issue threats to gain followers. You are sitting on ur hands because u can “coman suffer for another to enjoy”, and u have the nerve to speak of change?

      I am a coward! There! I said it! Happy now?! So what does that make you guys? The better men? The better and brave men, yet you cower and rot away in ur closet like every other man? What sets u apart from the MGM who got married just to cover his tracks and blend in with the general population? Are u not blending in and conforming like he is doing? Are you out to ur friends, family and associates and conduct ur affairs here in Nigeria? So you plan on staying single, sweet! But don’t tell me u are saving ur coin and bidding ur time to jet off to a more conducive clime in the not so distant future? Asking people to tow ur line and live ur dream reeking of nothing but desperation! Fear of being alone in the future and trying to get more ppl to use as case studies. Bisi woke up one day and chose 2 live his dream. Damned the consequences, paid with his blood and sweat. Yet you are somewhere living a sheltered life, judging others and blowing plenty plenty grammar like its the key to solving life’s problems. Gay liberation movement was achieved on the backs of unity, working together, sacrifices and not some fancy, factless, emotionally charged and biased bickering on some DL LGBT blog, so save ur sanctimonious sermons for some clueless soul.

      • Deola
        August 16, 16:18 Reply

        Dayum.
        ????????????
        Clocked.
        Dragged and
        Snatched.

        Living! ???

      • DuduOsun
        August 16, 16:25 Reply

        ?????????

        Some wey dey scream stand up for your right are the same ones that will be cautioning person for one corner about thr dangers of liking, sharing and following too many gay pics, posts and accounts. You cannot be exposing yourself and dragging me into the matter too by association.

      • Mandy
        August 16, 16:51 Reply

        ????????? This comment should be immortalized!

      • ambivalentone
        August 16, 17:09 Reply

        Ahhh yes. Now we get to know what your pain is. That I am not out in a blaze, letting the world know I am gay. Just so you know, even if a thousand and one Bisi Alimis and Kenny Bs and Father Johns surrounded and force fed you courage, it is obvious u wouldn’t budge from ur closet, diving deeper to get married to fit in. One Yomi somewhere will not even change that. While it is actually not ur business to know, I knew the minute I realised my difference, it was either the seminary or no marriage. Childish dreams, yeah? I didn’t need, know or care about an Alimi, Kenny or Adewoye to teach me to make up my mind on that and THAT is/was enough for me. You want another public activist? You are not going to get that in me because it WILL obviously be wasted on u n ur type.

        • Pink Panther
          August 16, 17:15 Reply

          It is astounding how way off base you missed his point. Simply astounding. It’s simple really. Fight for the change you seek. Don’t let other people’s mistakes and failings tailor your determination for that change.

          You are not going to get that in me because it WILL obviously be wasted on u n ur type.”

          Are you serious? Is your dream for LGBT activism dependent on whether Peak or any gay men headed for marriage will listen? Is that your goal? Becos that’d be seriously misguided. You can’t clamour hiarandia about how other people are failing the LGBT when you are not actively doing anything to steer the cause. And for heavenssakes, stop using the lives of other people as the compass for what you should or shouldn’t do. If you are waiting for when people will begin to live the life you feel they as LGBT should live before you do anything, then you’re as much a coward as they are.

          • Mandy
            August 16, 17:21 Reply

            And now watch, PP, how you’ll get torn apart for daring to suggest that they are not as righteous the LGBT soldiers as they’d have us believe.

            Oh shoot! I just put myself in the line of fire too.

        • Peak
          August 16, 18:39 Reply

          Ao I swear you boys make it so easy. From the one that was in the parking lot of a hospital doing clinical trials, to the KFC osho-free (its surprising our senior colleague didn’t call him a cheap whore, but is somehow supporting his comments, Buhari’s change must have a really wide reach), to our regular chief judge, saviour and “inspirationist, who had planned on going to hide and blend in the house of God like MGMs are running to pussy ville to blend in. I wonder what took away that option?
          Hmmmm if his unabashed and well touted love for the BBC, it safe to say that he knew damn well that the scemiary would not be big enough to hide. He’d probably be spotted and kicked out by day 3. Oh well, what do I know.

          As for the rest of ur comment, as much as I’d like 2 break it down and show you what a Fraud you are, I think it can stand and breathe on its own. So I will leave it be.

          Werreminit o, did you just trivialise the Work Alimi, Badmus and co are doing ? Chai! I have promised not 2 torchlight the comment any further, so I go leave am.

          • ambivalentone
            August 16, 23:07 Reply

            I am amused at ur petty attempts to discredit me. But u want the premises of my disregard and disgust for MGMs clearly spelt out. I will gladly oblige. Ati MGM o, ati fuck boy to MO pe MGM lo n ba sun o, both are as pathetic as anything u think of with a glaring lack of self worth in the fuck boy and lack of respect for marriage in the MGM. Loooool. Are u happy now? My judgement pedestal is still pristine. The letter and the spirit bind me. BTW, u might want to make ur investigations. Before and now. This here you see is what u get.

            Your desperate attempts to open my eyes to realities that have been open long before u cud draw breath is funny too. I left my childhood long long ago. As appealing as the seminary was (kindly note the tense) with its concept of singleness bliss, I am/was not even catholic and that love of BBC u mentioned is reason enough to have reconsidered. Indeed, I would have been kicked out on day 3 if we had communal bathrooms. But I am a MORALIST, even if I may not claim christian, and my dear, there is no marriage l’oju mi. I still respect right and wrong and no Jupiter will change that.

            And the supposed trivializing of the actions of people who I didn’t know or had anything to do with the life’s decisions I had made when I made them…unless u point out where I did, give it a rest. Its a fail.

            I do not expect you to have values. But there are some who do and they have earned MY respect. Definitely not activists but determined men who have decided not to be bullied into living fake lives of stifling marriages n fucking boys on the side. Kudos Tokunbo, Innocent and Yinka.

      • Peak
        August 17, 07:48 Reply

        An unrepentant fornicator condemning an adulterers on the basis of MORALITY. Ambi please do me a favour, and start talking like someone with a functional brain that has pass through a high level of educational vulcanisation and has the ability to reason differently from a lay man. Morality is subjective. Tell us that you PERSONALLY live by certain codes, and not use morality as a yardstick cos it would fail you in the light of facts and truth.Typical Nigerian! Their brand of hypocrisy is uncanny.

        You are perfectly invested and settled in ur closet with no plans of leaving it, yet u are here everyday screaming hell on others who are burrowing into theirs. What purpose will u be serving this “cause” you guys hammer on without giving a face to it with the shores of the said country? Stay unmarried and u are nothing but that son/relative that was unmarried. At the end of the day, u brought nothing to the table. You end up becoming a total waste. A loud mouth without substance. So until u have something substantial to offer, I suggest u keep u sentimental views to urself.

        • ambivalentone
          August 17, 09:12 Reply

          Your claims to having a brain and being educated are laughable. Guy, I am a moralist. I didn’t claim CHRISTIAN. Fornication is a purely organised religion concept. Sweetheart, u wantu fuck around, pls lemme know. It makes for quality gist infact. So don’t be pinning ‘HYPOCRITE’ on me when u clearly never cud differentiate between moralist n christian.
          OAN telling me ‘morals differ from place to place’ and ‘morality is subjective’ are indications of a devious and hypocritical mind when infact THE moral tenet world over is basically ‘do unto others as you would like done to you’. Guy, its morning and things are still not clear to u? I am afraid they never will.

        • ambivalentone
          August 17, 10:23 Reply

          oh yes, on a final note, a loud mouth unmarried uncle/son who had the presence of mind to believe in something and actually live it would be much better compared to a cowering coward simpering in his unfulfilled opressive and deceptive married life, fucking boys on the side and STILL bring nothing to the table. That’s a doubly tragic loss. Pathetic really

      • Peak
        August 17, 10:53 Reply

        A Moralist?

        Well a quick trip to google produced the following…

        A person who teaches or promotes morality.
        A person given to moralizing. (Rare)
        A person who behaves in a morally commendable way.

        Just so none of these qualifies ur holiness, I consulted other forums hoping to get the most fitting definition that best describes the crown and throne that you are harping a claim to.

        -A philosopher who specialises in morals and moral problems

        -Someone who demands exact conformity to moral rules and forms.

        You cannot be a Debauchee, which for ur information is widely considered immoral, and still think u have a claim to the title of a moralist. You are too far gone in urs sense of self righteousness to even get a good grasp of the title you relentlessly clinging to. Your abhorrence to MGMs and cheats has now earned you the prestigious and pristine title of a Moralist? Just when I think you can’t shock me any further with ur jokes, you find a way of hitting new lows.

        As for this “do unto others as you would like done to you’, you might want to hit a dictionary and reacquaint urself with the term EQUALITY.

        As for ur attempt to water down the word fornication, please read the below and educate urself.

        Fornication is generally consensual sexual intercourse between two people not married to each other. For many people, the term carries an overtone of moral or religious disapproval (living in sin), but the significance of sexual acts to which the term is applied varies between religions, societies and cultures. (Visit google for further studies. You are welcome)

        Fornication is an English word, and as u can see from the above, it not only has religious connotations, but SOCIETAL & CULTURAL ones.

        I wonder if ur perfect and moralist idea you have of urself will still hold much water in the face of all these glaring FACTS!

        • ambivalentone
          August 17, 13:41 Reply

          As expected, ur half-baked education status obviously didn’t make u google beyond ‘just definition’ of moralist and check what morals I keep making about were. But I forgive your ignorance.

          Defining fornication and mentioning words like ‘sin’, ‘society’, ‘culture’ and ‘religion’ where I have clearly spelt no affliation with a religion, knowing full well some societies and cultures actually encourage it and given the overhanging rule cutting across ur ‘societies and cultures’ and mentioning ‘consensual’ in the same sentence is just…. Perhaps, you should av googled ‘marriage’ or ‘married state’ in continuum and then seen the merits of having this discussion. If your oh-so-celebrated MGMs and Cheats had thot about equality and considered their wives/girlfriends in their indiscretions, this discussion would not be happening.
          #sigh Why do I always av to put ‘final note’?

  37. Pjay
    August 16, 14:13 Reply

    Many thanks to you, Delle, Ambivalentone, Truth and Klaus. My eyes welled over as I read your comments. Thank you, comrades. There is hope for us after all. Solidarity for ever!

  38. ambivalentone
    August 16, 14:15 Reply

    Uhm Francis, I get the impression part of my post from yesterday was misconstrued and that’s why it was deleted. You prolly think I was being an arse and I cared less (heat of the argument and all that shit), but quite frankly, I was surprised with ur comments, for one having a characteristic light heart, that followed at me. So, I am apologizing for whatever u think I may have meant. Don’t take offence because I didn’t intend any. It was only a supposition. The nonsense was even poorly worded sef. No vex. Peace man.

  39. Chuck
    August 16, 14:54 Reply

    This is interesting. This is how you know the ones who wont think it’s wrong to kito you or attack you

  40. Klaus
    August 16, 20:00 Reply

    just here oo, sitting and watching how the blog owner and co are defending men cheating on their wives! yes,we are not out,yes we are not flaunting our gayness in Nigeria,but we are not married to a woman only to turn back and cheat on her!!!!!! MGM or not, my own is, if you choose to marry a woman, DO NOT go about cheating on her !! you chose to conform, live with it!you know you can’t contain your homosexuality yet you go marry woman? you’re a silly joke! disgraceful! tufia!

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