Let’s Discuss…About LGBT In Nigeria
A friend of mine (who’s got the softest lips you’ll ever kiss 🙂 Sorry dear, I couldn’t resist, lol) vented some of his frustrations with the gay community in Nigeria with a litany of questions. Whether he intended the questions to be rhetorical or not, I read them and simply had to share, to get your opinions on all these ‘Why’s that he needs answers to.
Read below:
‘Why do we have too many homosexuals in Nigeria who are openly against gay marriage?
‘Why do we have plenty gay people in Nigeria who express tremendous support for that infamous fourteen years imprisonment term?
‘Why do we have long-term practising homosexuals in Nigeria who are convinced their sexual lifestyle is just a phase and will be over in a matter of time?
‘Why do we have a staggering number of queer persons in Nigeria who are convinced they are sinners, and are waiting on the fateful day the Lord God will save them from the depraved lifestyle of sodomy?
‘The population of self-hating homophobic homosexuals in Nigeria is disturbing. This schizophrenic mentality is a bane to the LGBT rights movement in Nigeria. No one is saying you must be gay and proudly so. But if you haven’t come around to accepting yourself, how does anybody get to accept you? How do you even demand acceptance at all?
‘PS: A good number of these people I’ve come across are even gayer than myself. If homosexuality can be in classified in degrees, that is.’
There you have it, guys. So let’s discuss about these afflictions of the Nigerian LGBT. Do sound off your opinions in the comments section.
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33 Comments
ken
August 15, 07:05Its not only in Nigeria, its the same over the world. There are gay people who simply find it hard (or impossible) accepting their sexuality. Or havent you heard of gay republicans in US?
Nigeria’s own may be a bit complicated especially since we are deeply religious, traditional (conservative in thinking) and crave that need for acceptance by family and friends. All of these put together make people go haywire!
Masked Man
August 15, 07:39Internalised homophobia.
Simple!
#TeamKizito
August 15, 07:48Hmmm.
King
August 15, 07:49Religion, tradition, ignorance, quest for validity, vulnerable mind, dependent mindset, and erroneous perception and derailment from purpose…..these are just what it is….even my boo who has found all that he needs in a companion in me and vise versa won’t think of going to a marriage registry with me as a man..to d extent he suggested I have a trans surgery like Bruce jenner so he can now marry me…
This internal unacceptance of whom we are is worse than the societal condemnation!!!!!
Pink Panther
August 15, 07:52That’s where it begins. The condemnation of self. Isn’t there a saying about how anyone can love you when you haven’t loved yourself?
Francis
August 15, 08:01They could be against gay marriage because they don’t fancy marriage in general or because our yeye govt don use am as excuse to persecute us.
The rest to me just boils down to religion.
ambivalentone
August 15, 08:121. Because due to our upbringing, we are still conformists to the societal notion that a marriage is a one man- one woman affair and find any other option…difficult
2. Because we are a pretentious lot.
3. That question is one I want to ask someone I know *insert angry face here*
4. Well, you prolly think you av seen the light and been delivered from all that ‘churchy’ nonsense. A lot have solid religipud backgrounds and have played / are still playing active roles in their houses of worship. Its hard not to believe what the books say about homosexuality being a sin
But u already know the answers. So I agree with Pinky when He thinks these questions may be rhetoric
OAN and when he means ‘gayer than himself’, I hope he doesn’t refer to that in terms of acting feminine because that would be major stereotyping. Something we are trying to fight against as well, no?
kacee
August 15, 08:17This SOCIETY we live in is a CONFUSED one, i still don’t understand when gay people say “they are against gay marriage”. Marriage is a union between two(three,lol) people who love each other *coughs* most gay people in nigeria say they can’t marry their gay partner tht’s bullshit, because if the lgbt are given the right to marry a lots of lgbt will marry the people they love, i’m just tired of pretenders,”eh i don’t believe in gay marriage wtf”, “what do u believe in”?.
Andrevn
August 15, 08:28This just brought to my mind someone who I gave (will give) a very wide berth because of his remarks and attitude….This dude first off was a friend of a “straight” mutual friend. But when we got introduced my Gaydar went pinging and I was ryt. We became close friends and before long we were chatting on social networks from girls to music and shii, then he popped the question..you know those hetero themed question like if I was in a relationship, who is my girlfriend and stuffs. Bluntly and blandly I told the dude that I was single, cos I just broke up with my boyfriend and he was like “what?!, You are gay?” And I simply asked him “Do you have a problem with my sexual orientation?” For which he said no, but that he suspected quite a wile with the way I walk and my mannerisms. That I should censor the way I walk cos it will be of help to me cos of our societal setting.
Now my problem was not that he gave maybe a genuine advise but hell! my gaydar was screaming GAY! GAY!! GAY!!! at him. For which I confronted him and he denied. Fast forward to yesterday after cutting him off (minimal chats and visits) for close to six months, I went to buy a new USB cable for my phone from his shop. Did some small talk, then I helped him sign into LinkedIn. While he was thumbing through his web pages I caught sight of it – BOLDLY emblazoned across the top mast of phones screen GAY (it was actually a porn website). I just stood up, took my purse and sashayed away cos I just could not deal.
The same Questions that friend of yours asked were what I asked my self aloud on my way home. Believe me I want answers too cos me I have seen and felt so much pain and hatred not to love myself so. Its’ like the work of well meaning Nigerians and internationals towards sexual equality is being sabotaged by us for whom the struggle is being made and it saddens my heart at the amount of two-faced whitewashed ignominious homosexuals we have in this blackened-heart of a country. I need answers too ooo. Uhm!
Max
August 15, 11:28That last paragraph of yours is everything. **sobs
Diablo
August 15, 08:40Fallacy, Fallacy and more fallacies! Your soft lipped friend needs to stop believing the voices in his head.
Insinuating that the vast majority of Nigerian gays support the 14 yr bill is the most preposterous thing i have ever heard. And i am offended. Your friend is delusional with so much negativity and false perception. He needs to change his mindset!
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 09:32You captured what’s on my mind,so I’ll just endorse this post
KryxxX
August 15, 09:26Hmmn! Y do I have a feeling that Mr “softest lips” dude/friend is our very own………………. Never mind! Lol!
Ngwa Max, dinner is served! Come nd devour!
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 09:34And there I was thinking Chestnut’s the only one with the pitchfork on this board
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 09:36Btw,I really think we should stop conflating gay issues to mean LGBT issues.They’re not always the same,our sisters don’t much have these issues
Francis
August 15, 10:20Over to Django and Kacee
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 10:27You do realize society is more accomodating of two ladies together and all that come with it.The mindset et all.
Not saying they don’t have issues too,but the thrust of my post is we should stop generalizing gay-specific issues to mean LGBT issues.They are not always one and the same
Francis
August 15, 10:31Ok. I get your point but that’s the general assumption/belief and that’s why I would like to hear from a lesbian to see if it holds water on not
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 10:46Okay
#Chestnut
August 15, 12:57Yea, “Thrust”…*side-eye*…u’re so wrong for this; u know exactly what u did there.
Tiercel de Claron
August 15, 16:46I really don’t know what you’re on about,Chestnut.
Hehehe
Chuck
August 15, 13:24This your friend is homophobic too self. What does he mean by “gayer than myself”? Is not being gay some pure state or ideal?
Pink Panther
August 15, 13:29Do u have to take his words so literally? I don’t think he meant it as a graduation of states. He was simply emphasising how startling their internalised homophobia is when compared to their homosexuality.
Chuck
August 15, 15:27your friend confuses images of gayness ( promoted by a homophobic majority) for homosexuality. If you love men, and fuck men, you’re gay, period. There’s no ” I fuck men but I don’t wear skinny jeans” less gay variety.
Your answer (and Peak’s) prove my point. being colorful isn’t what makes you gay.
Francis
August 15, 13:36I don’t see how “gayer than myself” is homophobic or an expression of internalized homophobia. Some people are quite “colorful” and this easily makes dem come off as gay compared to others.
ambivalentone
August 15, 14:54and by ‘colorful’, u mean….*stares daggers*
Francis
August 15, 16:25Dis one some pipu have started vibrating unnecessarily make una cam down biko. I wear my colors fabulously well when I want so I am not bashing anybody. I’m just saying it like it is. If you feel like drinking Alabukun on top my harmless statement (seriously I meant no harm), feel free oh.
And yes I do realise being coloful doesn’t automatically mean one is gay but come on……….
OAN @Pinky Nna abeg I need my emojis back. Biko do whatever you have to to your web guy to bring dem back. 😀
Pink Panther
August 15, 18:34Lol. Will do. @Francis
Keredim
August 15, 20:46This is why I only wear black. No one will guess I am gay…..
Francis
August 15, 21:44*side eye* abeg crawl back where you been dey hide since.
Dimkpa
August 15, 15:46And as expected we have left the message and have started attacking the messenger and the language he used instead as if the sentiments expressed are false. O di egwu really.
papasmurf
August 15, 17:11I think the answer to all theses questions, is FEAR. People fear what they do not know… Hell, they fear what they DO know.
Fear of being outed, being found out, rejection, punishment (14years).
Then there’s the fact that we Nigerians are religious than the world put together. I’ve often argues with people, than until Nigerians can separate “church” from “state” we shall continue to have issues and that’s not including LGBTQ matters even!
When ever I argue this, people look at me like I’ve sprouted horns, but it true, & make no apologies.
I may not be a great example, but I spent years hating myself, suffered depression for 2years, until I read a book titled “LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF”
To those closeted and homophobic LGBT people, y’all need to learn to do just that.
Its not gonna be easy believe me. The journey to self discovery & self-love never is, but the results are well worth the effort.
LIFE’S A CLIMB, BUT THE VIEW IS GREAT!
Dark
August 15, 17:25You have all made interesting contributions here. Thank you all for addressing my rhetorical questions. I have my answers to them and they’re not far from what almost everyone has said here. Internalized homophobia is real around us, and I think we owe this sad situation to the society we’ve found ourselves in. Like someone already stated, if gay marriage were to become legal today, many of these persons will happily get married. It is the fear that society has created in them that has made them this way. I also think this situation isn’t our major problem. At least such persons are rarely the homophobes out there hunting for who to Lynch. They’re part of us and we can put up with them. Some are even our friends and lovers. We’re all in this together. It is not a call for discrimination, not at all.
For the records, however, I never said a MAJORITY of gay Nigerians are like this. Please, don’t misquote me to misinterpret me. You could read the questions again. I was careful with my words.
Also, on the less or more gay thing. LOL. I saw it coming. I knew many meanings would be read into that even though I was as skeptical as possible when I used the term ‘gayer’. It’s okay though. I guess i shouldn’t have used it all, however innocuous my intention was. Good Day.