Four Dark Walls
It was a Sunday like every other Sunday in my life.
Sundays are that special day of the week that I believe God Himself chose to sit back with a bottle of Chardonnay and be entertained by an amazing new TV series titled: “Let’s Talk about Richard.”
As I laid right next to James, my crazy young ‘supposedly homophobic’ cousin, he couldn’t help but notice that I still felt uncomfortable over what went on between us last night and a couple of days before that.
“What’s up, bro?”
Usually, I would instinctively yelp the words “I’m fine”, but today was different. Not because of who I happened to be, but because of the kind of person James has become – which, of course, is meant to be a good thing.
***
Weeks ago, I attended a jazz music festival. and that was where I met Christopher – charming, funny, smart young lad like myself (pardon me for sounding so narcissistic, if I actually do). Next thing, we exchanged numbers and BBM pins, and we couldn’t spend up to thirty minutes without saying anything to each other while online.
Hold on, we were just friends – without the benefits.
Of course, this went on for a long time, until one day, I decided to bring him home to my family. This was a big deal, because I never invite my friends over, partly because of that one fateful unforgettable day when my grandmother confronted me about some gay porn she came across on my phone (the news got to a couple of people in the family but that’s a story for another day).
Long before now, my cousin was probably suspicious of my sexuality as he kept asking me questions about having a girlfriend (he’s got one, actually) and accusing me of being too shy to talk to women. The only ridiculous response I could come up with was that I was only emotionally attached to computers and as much as I loved women, I couldn’t love them enough to be with any of them on a romantic or sexual level. Occasionally, he would tease me by calling me Jamal (thank you, Empire!), but that felt like a small price to pay, so I took it like a man (pun very much intended). I even acted like “so what if I was gay” because I always thought no one would take me seriously if they heard it that way.
So when Christopher got to meet my family for the first time, I was surprised at how he was able to blend in with everybody. James liked him instantly. Remember Josephine? That sweet sister of mine who lured me out of the closet? Well, she liked him too.
After that first meeting, we started hanging out a lot, visiting and stuff, and we even started saying those sweet three words to each other over the phone and exchanging kiss smileys (after we shared our first real kiss, that is.)
Fast forward to Saturday night, I had just gotten back from an event with Chris. He walked me home and just before saying goodbye, he pulled me to a dark spot in the compound and into a very long deep sweet kiss that almost got me ripping off his clothes.
“Good night, Richard,” he muttered as soon as he was able to catch his breath.
“Good night, Chris.”
With a huge smile on my face, I walked right into the house. I walked right past James (who has been playing the role of Mister Omnipresent Detective these days) to get myself a glass of water.
I had lifted the glass to my mouth when he said: “I never knew you and Christopher were now a couple.”
In that instant, my heart stopped beating, then it started beating again, but at a very alarming rate, and I almost choked on that cool liquid that was already halfway down my throat.
“What did you just say?” I choked out.
“Oh please, it’s not like I’m judging or anything,” he said flippantly. “I always knew that you’re gay.”
There was silence, one that was incredibly loud.
“And I’m not judging you. It’s who you are,” he added.
And just as the previous closet episode with my sister, my defences were down way sooner than it took the Israelites to bring down Jericho’s walls.
“Oh well. Chris and I just happened,” I said, aiming for a breezy tone. “I can’t defend myself on that because it’s the truth.”
“Relax. It’s cool.”
“Let me guess. You always knew but you just wanted to hear those words from my mouth.”
“Yeah, I guess you can say that,” he replied with a chuckle.
“And you never got your chance.”
“Very true.”
“Thank you. Thank you for knowing.”
“Not a problem for me at all. It’s one of those things.”
Whatever he meant by that.
Now I could have ended this conversation right then, but I felt this need to confirm my fears. “James?” I called.
“Yes?”
“Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”
“Yes.”
Written by Richard Moore
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28 Comments
Mandy
March 28, 07:35“Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”
“Yes.”
LOL! Clearly this story isn’t done yet.
Queen Blue Fox
March 28, 08:03I know all about amebo cousins and brothers that try to out you.
Oh hello Pinkie.
Pink Panther
March 28, 08:04Hahahahaa… Is there tea you want to share with me?
Queen Blue Fox
March 28, 08:07Oh baby we’ve shared this tea a long time ago.
Did we eventually forgive him?
Pink Panther
March 28, 08:09LOL! I’m not sure yet.
Queen Blue Fox
March 28, 08:14Let’s keep our fingers crossed, he seems remorseful and more supportive of you of recent. Let’s just watch.
Mitch
March 28, 08:31“Did you ever get to talk with anyone in the family about my attractions? I want to know the truth.”
“Yes.”
Errr. awkward!
Lorde
March 28, 08:40Damn, so blunt!
Like “yes”, period.
Kenny
March 28, 09:46Siblings, they always know one way or the other. *sigh
J0j0
March 28, 10:49“Yes”
God knows who this people are!
*•sugarrr•*
March 28, 10:51Omg ???
doe eyed monster
March 28, 10:55Lol….cousins…. I have one who would soon be an MGM soon. It was good to know I wasn’t the only queer one in the family.
Of all people, how is it your grandmother that saw gay porn on your phone? …
Oan…my baby cousin(5 years old) just said “uncle Doe, I would enter you oo” …hehe
Mr. Fingers
March 28, 11:00Enter? Lol. Kids sha. I wonder where he heard that.
ambivalentone
March 28, 11:24Isn’t that street parlance for ‘disrespect’? Nothing sexual in it…unless u av dirty minds
Mr. Fingers
March 28, 10:57Geez. Don’t do that. Am my siblings discuss issues like that, but I so don’t want to know. Since no one has brought it up why bother?
ambivalentone
March 28, 11:33Cousins tho. I remember I sashayed into mine’s compound. All they had seen were my pencil jeans and shoes. Na so dey gather for window. They wondered who the chiq was until they saw d rest of my frame. Immediately I entered d house, see qyestions. ‘kai! u can catwalk o. are u gay?’, ‘how many guys av toasted u?’ Although I denied weakly, I serzly dinnor know when I started casting who toasted me and when. I was so caught off guard
Stranger
March 28, 11:37Interesting.
ambivalentone
March 28, 19:24How so?
Wayfaring Stranger
March 28, 21:55You’re effeminate.
Chuck
March 29, 02:20Not an answer to your question but: interested in learning more about living while effeminate in Nigeria. Are you Adriana on twitter?
ambivalentone
March 29, 06:46@W.S Noticeably so
@Chuck Nope. I am GAYdriana
Tiercel de Claron
March 29, 10:31I would say you glide more than catwalk.By Jove,you are a sight to behold when in your elements
ambivalentone
March 29, 14:15Hian!!! Tierce, you av a wife biko. No make nkem break my legs. Hobbling/Shuffling is no where as sexy as a catwalk. Have mercy on me
Wayfaring Stranger
March 30, 10:00Y’all are like family friends? Cool.
Tiercel de Claron
March 31, 17:58He walks gracefully too.Damned too sexy when he does that
Tobby
March 28, 16:29Wait. This isn’t the end, right?
Eddie
March 28, 22:07Duh!!! Course not!!… I hope *fingers crossed*
BRYANNN
March 29, 09:23more like YES!!!!!!……..Dasol…cousins can be such a serious pain in the ASS…The sole reason i keep them at arms length..