KIZITO SPEAKS XVIII
Hmmm. Let me tell you about my encounter with Anya and his friend, Roland.
Anya was the one. Fair. Tall. He had the looks. The smile. Intellectual. And he gave that model vibe.
Me? I was just the cute teenage mumu.
Roland? He was the fat, not-so good looking friend of Anya. He gave the model manager vibe.
Badoo was where it began. From Badoo to (was it WhatsApp?)
Well, from there to “can we meet?”
We met once or twice, me and Anya. It was Anya I went to see oh. But Roland was there both times I visited. I was shy AF the first time. Even a hug sef felt embarrassing. But the second time, we managed a kiss.
And then came this rainy day. You know me and my itch to leave the house. To leave or not to leave? I was indecisive. But the coast was clear, except for the heavy downpour. Well, I grabbed my jacket with a hood and left to battle the forces of nature. Anya had urged me to come. I told him I would.
I soon got there. It was Roland’s place by the way. And no one was home. Anya’s number was not going through. I tried severally until my call finally went through. He told me to check for Roland around; saying he had sharply gone out but he’d be back as soon as possible. He was sorry I was getting soaked by the rain.
Chai! I searched for Roland in the area and asked a few people where they – the boys – had gone. More heavenly water. Chattering teeth. Shivering body.
Roland showed up from around one corner. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I was out back. Did you call out? Anya went out but he’ll be back soon. Come in, let’s get you out these wet clothes. Anya will soon be back.”
‘Soon’ gbakwa oku! Mscheeww! And ‘let’s get me out of these wet clothes’? Devil! I planned to stay in those clothes.
“Come on, take your clothes off,” Roland wheedled. “I hope you’re comfortable with me here… There’s nothing… You can’t stay in those wet clothes…”
The devil!
I hesitated. But a puddle was forming at my feet. I had to take my clothes off. I was cold. He handed me a shirt of his and urged me to relax on the bed. I did so.
Ten minutes. Anya never show.
*coughs*
The devil.
Whatever happened next between me and Roland, I cannot explain. (Can I explain?)
Sex happened.
About twenty minutes later, Anya brought his fine yellow self back. I was warm already. Mscheeww!
He showed up and it was sorry, more sorry, and sorry. We kissed and cuddled for an hour. Roland sat in the room with his back to us. Later, he excused himself out of the room. Anya and I talked and cuddled some more. And nah, we didn’t have sex.
And then he said: “I won’t hurt you. We won’t have sex. I see you as my son. I’ll get married to a man, maybe a Spaniard. And we’ll adopt you. What do you think?”
*blink-blink*
Let me first digest his words like HobNob biscuits.
Written by Kizito
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25 Comments
Mandy
April 15, 07:10Wait, WHAT?!!!! Marry a Spaniard and adopt you? LMAO! I hope this Anya was joking. This episode continues later, right?
Dubem
April 15, 07:11Kizito is BACK! And still ever the slut. 😀 You couldn’t just resist the devil, eh? lol
ambivalentone
April 15, 07:21bwahahahahah
Kenny
April 15, 07:21Kizito and these people he’s meeting sef. Hian!
Absalom
April 15, 07:38Azzin. Are they “People We May Know”? *pats hair*
Kenny
April 15, 08:31No. ‘We’ don’t know them. *scatters your hair*
JustJames
April 15, 07:44Lmaoooo! Aunts kizzy ooo!
bruno
April 15, 14:52lol. doesn’t this anya dude sound familiar?
Eggsy
April 15, 08:08What the actual fuck?
Lorde
April 15, 08:23Ehh? Òsiri gini?
Mr. Fingers
April 15, 08:45Lol. Twenty minutes ‘quickie’. Chai.
PP, check your mail.
Masked Man
April 15, 08:59Akwuna!
I won’t lie, I’ve been on my way to see someone when it started raining suddenly. Even my underwear was soaked.
Very awkward day.
Delle
April 15, 09:00Lol. Adopt ke? Well, I don’t really fault you…who would reject sex when it’s raining and cold?
Pls o, who said 20 mins sex is a quickie? Jeez, all these viagra-inspired individuals sef…
Masked Man
April 15, 09:28What can you possibly do in 20mins kwanu?
It’s not even up to a quickie sef.
Delle
April 15, 09:49Hian! Pls o, it’s not a quickie. Do you want to kill someone’s child?
Masked Man
April 15, 09:56Rest, stop pretending biko.
kacee
April 15, 12:10See ya mouth…Anyway sha in gaybourhood there is 5 minutes quickie …. *rolls eyes*
Mr. Fingers
April 15, 10:28Help me tell delle. It was raining, dude was wet and cold and they had 20mins sex.
Who does that?
Whatever is worth doing is worth doing very well. Ijs.
If it’s raining I will like to kiss and cuddle for at least 30mins. Anyway, like I said it was a quickie.
Pink Panther
April 15, 10:4620 mins is not up to a quickie?! Lmao. Kai. Some pipu are supermen o
Delle
April 15, 16:55Azin ehn PP, I just started a list in my pink diary, ‘People to Dread in Bed’
Brian Collins
April 15, 09:50Kai!!!! I have so missed Kizito’s ‘So Random’ stories. I just imagined that *blink-blink*. Kizito pls allow PP give me your email.
Masked Man
April 15, 09:55Hmmm
Hmmmmm
Hmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
kacee
April 15, 12:11Lol, funny story…biko let them come and adopt me.
Wayfaring Stranger
April 16, 00:21“cute teenage mumu.” at 22? Shame.
jamie
April 17, 23:54lol. I must say its quite intriguing and Anya’s last words are most shocking. this episode has a continuation right? Aw, please let d answer b a “yes”