This is Yomi’s kito story. Read and relate.


I’m not the initiator-kinda guy. So when Pink Panther’s kito story got on my twitter TL, I was also transported through time to when I was worn my own kito.

I schooled in a boarding house (this is where homophobes and others will exclaim, “Ehen! I knew it. Na boarding dey always spoil them”). No o! it wasn’t the boarding house that ‘corrupted’ me. FYI, I had been very heterosexually active from those ‘mummy and daddy’ moments when boys saw girls as ‘The Enemy’ and tried to avoid them, even up until after them reproductive system biology classes in Secondary School when I started being afraid of leaking sperm…hmmm, maybe I’m trying to convince y’all, maybe convince myself as well.

Anyway, I’ve digressed enough. Back then, I was always afraid to sleep in my own bed, which was on the top bunk (I was ALWAYS allotted them shitty top bunks), and would look for bottom bunks to squeeze into when the rest of my room members had gone to sleep. I forget whose bed it was I had slept in one night, but one thing led to another, and we started kissing and fondling. Shit! Now I think on it properly, I didn’t even have time to think. I just did it.

Two weeks later, I had reasons to regret my thoughtlessness. This totally random dude walked up to me and told me: “I know what you did that night.” He then went ahead to give me EXPLICIT details of my activities. There was no time for bluster and offended morality. I was struck by Mute, the god of some forms of silences. Apparently through all the action, unknown to us, there were these devilish roomies who decided sleeping was for fools and were awake for God-knows-what reasons and who were keenly observing the rutting animals – us. Funny matter, the blackmailer sef wasn’t an observer, wasn’t even a roommate or from the next room. The voyeurs took the gist to him o! *claps hands three times like fishwife*

Anyway, y’all know that over-bloated sense of importance that blackmailers are always high on when their victims beg? It was this guy’s lucky day, because I overdosed him with high quality pleas. Choi! I too beg that day. My eye come dey leak water. Like a benign god bestowing undeserved favours on fawning faithfuls, the guy finally decided to ‘help’ me. To stop the observers from further spreading the gist to my classmates and to ensure their cooperation, he gave me two options.

“Pay this outrageous sum of money OR…

*drum roll*

Sleep with me.”

Ewooo! Una too read am correct o! I had already resigned myself to an eternity of sharing my virtually non-existent pocket money, toilet washing and had even started to calculate how I would fetch water during scarce periods. My mind just shut down. It came back on with “sleep with me” on repeat like a bad CD on play. I was so irritated. I was in this mess because of that shit in the first place and now this guy wants a piece of me??? Well, since I figured out Mr. Blackmailer would also be in soup if it leaked, I agreed to option B…hell no. I ain’t parting with no money. We agreed to rendezvous the next day.

The next evening, he led me to a secluded area, ordered me to pull down my trousers and lie down. He did the same and got on me. If I hadn’t been so nervous and anxious, I probably would have enjoyed it. His dick was big, and he was all HAIR…for an SS1 boy. It felt nice between my thighs (oh no, no anal sex, just ‘lapping’), but I felt violated mentally and physically. I hate bears because of him now. He probably realized I wasn’t happy when he saw my tears and tried to be gentle, whispering and cooing in my ears.

“Just do quick before somebody sees us biko…” was all the prayer I said silently.

If Ifeanyi hadn’t blackmailed me, he would have probably been my first anal sex experience. If he had come out clean to me, I would have given him all of me. So many ‘ifs’. The sanctimonious bastard prior to that time had been one of my vocal haters in my set. He scarred me in many ways.

I learnt early to be wary of blackmailers, liars and thieves. If any of my ‘toasters’ think I’m always being too proud and bitchy, you know now one of the reasons.

Written by Yomi, tweets at @tryst_hamlover

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  1. Khyma
    May 05, 12:40 Reply

    Nyc piece. Never had a kito moment but I relate cus ma evriday life is all kito drama. Well, dats d life of a fabulous dude. Hope u get over d nerveless brat though.

  2. lluvmua
    May 05, 12:44 Reply

    Awwww ma boo boo yomi didn’t knw dis happened to u! So sowie dearie!!! @andre_hayford

  3. Chizzie
    May 05, 15:35 Reply

    ok take out the profuse and unwarranted use of metaphors and the over dramatism and u have a some what interesting read.

    • trystham
      May 07, 22:06 Reply

      Somewhat interesting? *shrugs* It is dramatics NOW. Good I can laugh at it. It wasn’t quite funny experiencing it.

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