My story starts after my graduation from the university. I was waiting to go on NYSC, and in the meantime, I decided to go visit an aunt in Lagos. During my vacation in Lagos, I started getting bored really quickly. So, I went on a popular gay dating site and met some prospective hookups.

Soon, I got chatting with this particular guy (a bastard who will rot in hell for eternity), and we exchanged Blackberry pins, and things got real really fast, with us exchanging profile pictures and nude photos. Soon, we got around to fixing for a meet. Somehow, the arrangement fell on me going out to see him at a rendezvous. Initially, I didn’t feel too comfortable with that, going to the location he suggested (Iba axis), seeing as I was still basically unaccustomed to the hustle and bustle of Lagos city. My instincts pled caution, but you know what they say: the spirit is cautious but the flesh is weak (that’s how they say it, right?) Anyway, I was all fired up to go see him, ignoring the still, small voice in my head. After all, I hadn’t had sex in a while, and my bujaina was starting to get filled with cobwebs.

On that afternoon, I finally arrived at the location.

It took him like forever to come meet me; an alarm signal that I shouldn’t have ignored. The bastard must have being spending the time perfecting his kito plans for me. When he finally arrived, he was in a car, and there were two of them in it. He waved at me from where he’d parked, and I went over to meet them. When I got closer to the car, I noticed that both males were different from the guy I’d been getting to know from the pictures sent via BBM. That right there should have been the beginning of my wisdom, but I reasoned that he hadn’t sent me his real photos because he was being discreet.

So I got into the car. It was the type of vehicle whose doors were only in the front; the guy on the front passenger seat had to lift his seat for me to get into the back. As I sat down, I had a faint sense of unease, that feeling you get when you suddenly find yourself in a situation and you know there’s no escaping from it.

Then again, I wondered, what did I need to escape from?

As soon as I was settled, the friend (dude in the passenger seat) turned to me and said, ‘How are you, young man?’

I was already irritated that I’d been kept waiting for so long, and I felt insulted by this guy’s patronization. For crying out loud, we were both obviously in our twenties. Which one was this ‘young man’ talk? I told him immediately that he had no right to say that to me, that he wasn’t that much older than me anyway.

And he, this Rudeboi, responded with a sneering ‘So na you be the gay, abi?’

Instantly, my blood pressure hiked, and those alarm bells began ringing a bit louder.

He repeated his question in Yoruba, and continued with, ‘So you are the gay bastard that has been sending us nude pictures and naughty text messages, ehn?’

The alarm bells were now deafening. And my heart was thumping really fast. Father in heaven, what kind of wahala have I put myself in? I thought with mounting panic. I began to stammer words, trying to explain away while I would send my nude pictures to them.

The guy I was supposed to be hooking up with had been driving all this time, and at this time, he had pulled up in front of an army barracks or so they wanted me to believe. They also threatened me with exposure and a lockup in the army guardroom if I didn’t confess. Rudeboi then asked for my phone, a really new Blackberry, quite expensive too. I handed it over reluctantly. He went through my contacts and happened upon my mother’s number which he promptly dialed.

Note to self: Never store my parents’ numbers again as ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’.

Rudeboi threatened that he would report me to my mother, and I’d be locked up in the guardroom of the barracks until my parents would come for me. These parents are the ones who are far away in the north o, remember I came to visit an aunt in Lagos.

I started to beg, pleading with everything in me, to be spared such an embarrassment and the forceful outing of my sexual orientation to my parents. I was sobbing. I was filled with desperation. I begged harder with each passing minute and each utterance my abductors made.

Finally, they ordered me out of the car. Rudeboi was still with my phone. I alighted, with the sinking realization that I wasn’t getting my phone back. I was miserable, but I was also mad, angry with these guys, probably some hungry, poverty-stricken university boys out to prey on innocent guys seeking some fun online. I started pleading for my phone, but he snatched the door handle off my hand, and the driver quickly sped off. I was on my heels after them, running and shouting ‘Ole! Thief!’, with passersby watching and doing nothing to help.

This Lagos sha, hmm…

Anyway, this was happening on an expressway. And my humiliation became complete when, as I was running, I tripped and fell heavily on the tarred road. Fortunately, my chest didn’t hit the hard ground, but my shorts ripped, and I sustained some bruises on my legs. As if my torture wasn’t enough, the skies opened and it started raining heavily. I had a smaller second phone with me, and I kept calling my Blackberry in a frantic bid to plead with the thieves not to call my mother. Whenever they answered and I begged, they’d laugh mockingly and hang up. I saw red. I saw black. I hated them. I hated everybody. I hated Lagos. I hated the pedestrians for not lifting a hand to help me. I hated myself for being gay. I hated Nigeria for its homophobia which gave bastards like these the guts to rob and traumatize me. I was bruised from my fall and wet from the rain; oh it was a dark day for me. Honestly, in that moment, if I had chance to see those scums again, and I had a gun, I wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot them down.

I didn’t want to be this person, this – this guy who’d been set up, the way I’d heard other people were, and who’d sit back helplessly and accept his fate. I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt them back. And I was bloodthirsty enough to want to get back at them any way I could.

I quickly called a really close friend of mine on phone and told him everything. I was weeping as I narrated my ordeal, not because of the loss of my phone, but because of the humiliation I felt for not hearkening to my instincts. This friend had a ‘Baba’, a traditional doctor he consulted every now and then. And I wanted the Baba’s number; I was ready to go diabolical to make these scums suffer for what they did to me. Sympathizing with me, my friend promptly sent the number to me.

Eventually, I got home. I had a story ready to tell my aunt and her family about how messy I looked. Of course they bought it and were full of sympathy for me and outrage at the bandits (Yes, I told them street thugs had attacked me and made away with my phone). They kept calling my Blackberry and cursing the bastards out and wishing them everything bad in life!

Several moments later, my mother called my second phone and told me some guys called her, telling her I was gay and she should do something about me. Spinning every yarn I could think of, I was able to convince her they were petty thieves and blackmailers who robbed me. She believed me, and had nothing but empathy for me; she also wanted to know if I had enough money to come back to the North the very next day. I told her I wasn’t ready to come home (I needed time to put my revenge plans in action), and she left me to my decision.

The next day, I went to seek out the Baba who my friend linked me with. I narrated my ordeal to me, truthfully, because the man sabi ‘what’s up’. He was visibly mad, and informed me of the necessary things to be done and amount I was to pay commensurate with what kind of punishment I wanted inflicted on the bastards. I told him just what I wanted; I wanted those guys to lead cursed lives from then onward, and I wanted their families and entire generations roped in as well. The necessary steps were taken in earnest. The Baba is known for his power and efficiency in diabolical matters.

I might never know if it all actually worked or not, but I just needed to let out the bitterness in me, to assure myself that I wasn’t a helpless victim, that I fought back somehow. In the end, thinking back, I always pray the TBs in my contact list didn’t fall prey to those scums; I had some better markets in that phone, mostly white guys I’d been chatting with (and they could easily become victims to those guys’ shenanigans). Because they actually texted close friends of mine, pretending to be me, and wheedling for airtime from them. Some of these friends, who thought something odd about the requests for airtime, called my second number and quickly got enlightened to the situation.

To end it all, I learned my lesson. I put that experience down as a lesson learned. And what did I take out of it? To never let my hormones drive me in matters such as this. Seeking a few minutes of pleasure shouldn’t be the reason one is cost his life or reputation. One should always trust his instincts and be smart about who he lets into his life.

Written by Posh

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  1. alpha papi
    June 13, 08:21 Reply

    U entered d car not knowin who dey rily are?…ur d most stupid person on earth.but tank God u’ve learnt ur lesson,neva let ur hormones or horniness drive u into such situations.goin to a babalawo is also stupid bcos dt man just chop ur moni.If only u listened to ur instincts…wen such tins happen to pple,I dnt feel sori 4 dem,dats y I always advise guys to b focused nd careful.

    • InLoveWithAPHBoy
      June 13, 08:29 Reply

      You could have been more polite, no need for the unnecessary ranting (adding salt to an open wound…chai)…the deed is already done…..as per the ‘BABA’…i agree with you on that

    • Chizzie
      June 13, 08:32 Reply

      its sad that very early in the morning, u resort to using petty words like “stupid” to express yourself. I think ur major problem is that u are inarticulate. You lack the vocabulary to say anything intellectual and so you have resigned to making a fool of yourself. and I don’t blame you really, I blame pinkpanther for giving u the platform, he obviously gets some comic relief from ur comments and enjoys the barbarism u bring to this blog.

      so carry on, keep being the fool u have resigned to be.

      • pinkpanthertb
        June 13, 08:49 Reply

        Chizzie, I don’t get any pleasure from his idiocy. I honestly don’t. But I’m standing by my word at the start of this post to let everyone have a shot at expressing what he has to say. Now, if we can all simply ignore this guy, if we can adhere to the adage that Silence is the best answer for a fool, then it would be the better for us. He seems to get off on the shock value of his derogatory comments. Don’t give him that and what else has he got?

      • alpha papi
        June 13, 09:20 Reply

        Na u sabi…I’m just being honest.somone has to say d truth nd I stand 4 d truth.I’m not hatin anyone or seekin attention.I just want to inspire som dudes out der to b responsible nd decent.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 13, 09:24 Reply

          Then speak your truth, express your honesty without being abusive. Whatever you have to say will be better appreciated without the insults. Otherwise you’re just being immature.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 13, 09:27 Reply

          Even if you’re soooo perfect, try to respect other people’s rights to make mistakes and be who they are. Otherwise I’ll have to start deleting your comments as soon as you post them.

      • KingBey
        June 13, 09:53 Reply

        So PinkPanther, you have the ability to delete this nincompoop’s comments and you let them? Why will they be on? That is why you have the Delete button….to clean up junk

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 13, 08:50 Reply

      I never wish ill on fellow TBs, I really never do. But observing your comments, I almost wish you get to have a taste of these kito moments, so you can feel the pain of your brothers, and understand the need for some compassion.

    • therealsalte
      June 13, 10:35 Reply

      You are seriously living in SOS @alpha papi…. Instead of you sympathizing with this bro that experienced hell you dey there they talk ruwwwwwish!!!! Mtcheeew!!! Mkpuru nsi dika gi.

    • CeeCee
      June 13, 13:28 Reply

      @Sista Pinky, i know its tempting to delete thus buffon’s (Alpha Papi) comments, but please, for now do not, it is a good choice that you have made by allowing the fool display the shocking depths of his foolishness. Please allow him the freedom to remove all doubts as to his extreme stupidity.
      @Alpha Papi, your stupidity grows in leaps and bounds every second, soon you hall disqualify yourelf with your own hands and mouth, from being in the presence of right thinking persons. In sane parts of the world, what those boys did would be thorughly investigated by the Police and the full wrath of the law would fall on them, for they have committed a hate crime which is illegal in all th civilised parts of our planet, sadly, we live in one of the uncivilised spots, which is where morons like you belong and which is why you are able to make the above comment … you are pathetic and to be pitied.
      @Posh, online hookups are fraught with danger in this environment, I always advocate recommendations from friends, always be very careful about where you meet strangers for the 1st time, its better to follow your instincts, look ridiculous and miss a potentially exciting shag than to wear an oversized kito ..

  2. trystham
    June 13, 08:25 Reply

    Guy, u bloody gan-an. You be SHARP guy. Thinking two steps ahead in an emergency gay-bashing…calling for ‘Baba’ number. I hope the curse had both immediate n long term effects tho.

  3. Chizzie
    June 13, 08:40 Reply

    And I think this story would make for an interesting Nollywood movie. I can tell you are still very bitter and angry. But going to see a spiritualist was to me a tad reckless. I might not being the holiest and pious person and yes I am a whore bt there are certain spiritual principles I uphold. ..not going to see a native doctor is one of them.

    I think God is the ultimate avenger. That’s why he invited Karma. when u dabble in the occult to get revenge u shake up the balance that makes up Karma. Especially when things like ” back to the sender 7fold” have become a fad in our churches . what if one of them went to church and uttered that prayer. You would be the bearer of his 7fold backfired curse. Or maybe I am just offer thinking this.

      • Chizzie
        June 13, 09:59 Reply

        omg so pls Pinkpanther be a darlene and edit all the typos in my comment. I wrote it while I was jumping bus this morning.

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 13, 08:51 Reply

      ‘I think God is the ultimate avenger. That’s why he invited Karma. when u dabble in the occult to get revenge u shake up the balance that makes up Karma.’

  4. Deola
    June 13, 08:51 Reply

    I enjoyed the story until the talk of ‘Baba’ set in.
    I get that u were mad and humiliated, but two wrongs don’t make a right.
    I am just glad that you’re okay, the lesson to be learned here is to always listen to our voices of caution. @adeola_lfc

  5. KingBey
    June 13, 09:36 Reply

    there’s no point blaming the guy…kito can happen to anybody and even in your own home…just be careful when u meet people online ….it’s always better to meet someone through a recommendation…in all, may God guide us and may we always listen to that inner voice because it is most times right

    • Obatala
      June 13, 13:52 Reply

      still can’t recover from laffing at this comment. not wanting to sound prudish but I can’t imagine a more funny prayer dat would be.
      “O god as I go out to grind DAT cock, let me not be worn koto.

      • KingBey
        June 13, 19:50 Reply

        Oh yes ! Or you think God doesn’t answer Tb prayers?

  6. Iduke
    June 13, 10:18 Reply

    I’ve been an advocate of freedom of expression. But when ur expression borders on troubling ur fellow man its no longer acceptable. Alpha papi. Ur a grown man. Do well for urself. And season ur words with salt. Manage ur opinions so u can gain the audience of ur peers. Posh sorry sha. Thank God ur wiser. $hailings

  7. therealsalte
    June 13, 10:45 Reply

    I have worn my ‘Kito sanchos’ thrice and I vowed never to wear them again in my life. And I also had the urge to visit ‘Baba’ because the last two ‘kitos’ I wore wear from close friends but I resisted. I know ‘karma’ can be a lovely bitch, so I never bothered myself @ all. Going to ‘Baba’ is not the best but since it made u regain ur sanity and happiness; no wahala.

    • trystham
      June 13, 11:55 Reply

      THREE???? I don’t think u will learn again. I’m sure u r the “No Risk, No Reward” type abi? IZALIE!!!! You are a glutton for punishment. My prayers are with you o. I will be sending super glue to you thru d Panther. I hope it helps glue your nyash in one place.

      • trystham
        June 13, 13:57 Reply

        My dear, I AM pulling that shit on u. After the second one, I wud expect u wud enter purdah or make do with the old fuck buddies u have. No matter how boring they are. but going on ahead to a third…sweetheart, that vow u made is going to be broken AGAIN. Its not a curse. Its just ur high libido for strange dicks. Better get that Baba’s number handy

    • therealsalte
      June 13, 17:43 Reply

      @trystham I don’t think you know me or even how my kito story happened. But in any case Good riddance to bad rubbish!
      @Pinky I don’t know the kind of ppl that you have here. They appear so myopic and irrational in their perspective of things.

      • pinkpanthertb
        June 13, 17:51 Reply

        He was teasing you eh! You couldn’t see that? Where’s your sense of humour? Lol.

  8. mirage
    June 13, 10:46 Reply

    Ok@alphapapi please get off your pedestal,peeps like you who are so claiming “perfect” have a lot of kito stories.Thank God the dude wasn’t harmed atleast he learnt his lesson and next time would be braver.As for the babalawo ish guy he has played you,don’t worry tho what goes around comes around.

  9. Blaq Jaqs
    June 13, 11:11 Reply

    Nice read. It was angry and sad and several other things too. Execution was flawless in my opinion: each emotion conveyed perfectly to the reader.
    You weren’t stupid, maybe naive and blinded by conji at worst. And even if it is perceived as stupidity, I’m sure we all have our ‘Choi! I Fucked up moments!’ And they make us wiser, stronger and better people. Thank you for sharing your story.

  10. Lothario
    June 13, 11:40 Reply

    Don’t take away Alpha Papi’s comments please… He deserves an avenue to vent the frustrations from his cobweb clogged booty. Alpha Papi I’ve told you, all you need is a good dicking…come to Daddy, let’s finally take that wild ride. Just promise you won’t shit on my bed again, make sure you douche this time.

    • CeeCee
      June 13, 14:20 Reply

      LMAO, Lothario!!! You’re a 1st class Bitch!! am loving you for this joor!!

  11. Lothario
    June 13, 11:44 Reply

    As for Posh…so sorry my dear. Those of us who grew up in Lagos know there are basic rules… And certain red light districts too. Thank God you got out safely. Baba may have been a bit of a stretch, but anything to make the pain go away, I understand.

  12. Marthy
    June 13, 14:29 Reply

    Really I don’t understand the verbal bashing of alpha(whatever his name is). He went over board with “most stupid person on earth,” no doubt. But there’s something very that-serves-you-right about a guy who enters a car of not just a someone different from the one he’s been exchanging pictures with, but someone who brought a tag team. Nothing brings out the demons in me like kito but not every kito story evokes sympathy. Haba!!!

  13. yzee2013
    June 13, 14:40 Reply

    @Pink panther dear tanx alot for publishing dis story i had two reasons for sending it to u 1st to serve as a lesson to my dear brothas&sistas,2ndly to hear odas views.@alpha papi glad to know peepz like u who suffer from acute delusion and over blown ego still exist.u sure are perfect aint u? Lastly to all doz dat made nice comments and advise thanx alot realy do appreciate u all have no idea how soothing ur words are.about d baba issue well we all have how we deal wiv issues and our believes dat was my own way of handlin it at d end of d day as evelyn lozada says from basket ball wives it is wat it is!watever makes u sleep at nite.

  14. yzee2013
    June 13, 14:47 Reply

    @Chizzie,lothario,blaq jaqs u guys are such darlinz..dear alpha u realy do sound like a very bitter person wat bad bad incidence happend wen u wer a child dat make u bcum dis way???dear u need intense therapy to get rid of such negativity&bitterness bfore it drowns u into oblivion….have a nice weeknd guys toodles….♥♥♥

  15. henry
    June 13, 22:10 Reply

    @Palpi, I think you have seen how wrong your “truth” is? So when you say the truth again, make it right. I have read through the ordeal the writer went through and it was very interesting. I don’t wait for Karma. I just forgive or revenge. I am in charge…

  16. Iduke
    June 14, 03:47 Reply

    But wait oo guys. Lemme talk my own now. Congi dey knack me akpako. I’ve lathered the old machine or taken a dingo since October last year. Don’t ask me why. I’m new in abuja, horny and not willing to make my own kito series yet. Somebody help!!!

    • king
      July 28, 08:59 Reply

      Okay I must say that I have to help out in this situation and give tidbits on how not to fall into the hands of these craps… first of all and I put this in caps… NEVER EVER EVER GO TO A STRANGER S PLACE and secondly never go alone to a neutral middle ground to meet a stranger but always go with a friend who is either gay or gay friendly and who is buffy…or at least looks gruff too. Once anyone that has bad intentions sees u with someone else…just know that he will either fake the sex with u or give excuse to get out of d situation….it has never failed me…oh and never take them to your house where family or close relatives live…they could also use dat against u…and this goes without saying too….never ever ever give anybody. your office address NEVER!!!!!!

    • king
      July 28, 09:02 Reply

      Am in abuja and am married…hope ur slim and young looking!!!

  17. uzzy
    June 14, 04:27 Reply

    In everything you do… always apply wisdom… dats all to it

  18. anonymous
    June 14, 05:28 Reply

    Y’all talking too much, you just might miss an important lesson in this post.

    I didn’t wait till I finished reading it. I paused, went to my contact list and changed the way I stored ‘dad’ and ‘mum’ and also edited off the uncles and aunties I had on my list. I advice everyone does so.

    Peace out*

  19. Absalom
    June 14, 06:55 Reply

    I didn’t learn to change my parents’ contact name on my phone. In a kito situation, which has happened before, I’d want you to call my parents. Help me with the opening sequence of the coming out ceremony, I’ll complete it. Whatever else my parents may do, they will not beat me, or kill me, or drag me into the street shouting, “Homo! Homo!” Please call them abeg.

    What I learnt from the tale is the need to fight back. I don’t do superstition (whether from church or a shrine), and the potency of Posh’s revenge is debatable, but at least he fought back. And that is what we should be doing more.

  20. Queer Mike.
    June 20, 17:15 Reply

    I feel your pain bro…but sometimes even recommendation isn’t all that safe.

    the bastard guy that gave me my kito moment in the city of Enugu
    (a gory story I am yet to share on this platform much later) was purely Tb. a top self! & he came via recommendation. we were even close buddies for over 8months before the back stab!

    asper the Mum and dad thing…by reflex I’ve always had this unexplainable habit of storing my Mom’s lines as ‘My Darling’ (her mtn) Sweetie (her glo) and Cupcake( her etisalat) and my Uncle’s line (since my dad is no more) as ‘My Nigger’

    my other siblings have their own code names…
    while I was seriously being beaten , they scrolled thru and thru but couldnt find any link to my family. I took the beatings and life threatening blackmail of over 30k. but thank God I was able to cover my track well

  21. Queer Mike.
    June 20, 17:38 Reply

    kindly ignore the typos and other errors in my prev. comment biko

    **I had a very stress-filled day**

  22. king
    July 28, 08:42 Reply

    Okay I must say that I have to help out in this situation and give tidbits on how not to fall into the hands of these craps… first of all and I put this in caps… NEVER EVER EVER GO TO A STRANGER S PLACE and secondly never go alone to a neutral middle ground to meet a stranger but always go with a friend who is either gay or gay friendly and who is buffy…or at least looks gruff too. Once anyone that has bad intentions sees u with someone else…just know that he will either fake the sex with u or give excuse to get out of d situation….it has never failed me…oh and never take them to your house where family or close relatives live…they could also use dat against u…and this goes without saying too….never ever ever give anybody. your office address NEVER!!!!!!

  23. musclelad
    October 25, 11:52 Reply

    All the warning signs were there man and you ignored it… I understand tho but the baba was uncalled for

    • king
      October 25, 13:05 Reply

      Eh pray Musclelad are u buffed up and bottom!??? (Giving Iluvmia the side eye….well since the bride price has not yet been given…i might as well do some more shopping….).and pray also r u by any chance in the FCT??

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