So I was doing some work for mumsy when he pinged.

‘I really want to see you,’ he said.

You know me and always wanting to go out; but for one thing or another, I couldn’t. However, before 10am that morning, we had agreed to see. By 11am, the fear of potential kito kicked in. But my impulsive nature got the better of me. I humped (sorry) on a bike and zoomed off to see him.

This one wasn’t ordinary. I had to tell my big brother (in the hood) – Stephen. We are the best of buds. I’m glad I have him. And the gist we share, the dramatic humans we encounter, the everything. So I called him and told him everything this time. “If anything happens, avenge me!” I said. Lol.

And then came the directions to locating him. That kind of direction that anyone in his right mind would hear and know best to abort!

Police station.

Small gate.

Enter another gate.

Pass the primary school.

Come towards the back.

Ask so-so-so.

Tell them you’re looking for Vince.

But Kizito can be a mumu at times, who doesn’t act like a mumu at other times. It happens. But to be honest, this wasn’t a konji-induced mumuness.

So with all this kito-kito scenes going through my mind, I threatened my intended host on BBM.

Me: See, if anything happens to me, you’ll regret it. Just saying.

Vince: Whoa! For real?

Me: I’m serious. I don talk my own. Nothing should happen to me oh

Vince: Sad boy. You have drama. Nothing will happen to the Queen of England. Just come.

Me: Hmm. Ok.

I delayed a while where I was, contemplating on the decision over I should go see Vince or not. Stephen had told me to be careful; to keep him posted on what’s up. I still had mixed feelings. Oh, I had dropped 100km from where he asked me to. I went on to walk past the police station, past the school, and was braced to run if any gbege was to shele. I had a hood over my head, Hollywood-movie style.

Vince kept calling.”Where are you? Where are you?”

“I’m close. I’m very close. I’m there,” I kept saying.

Vince: Dude, you’re a fake. Since 10am… See just tell me the truth, are you coming or not?

Me: I’m on my way. I just passed the police station.

Vince: No, you’re not.

Me: I’m serious.

Vince: For all I know, you could still be home balancing on your couch and posting me.

Me: I’m on my way.

As I trekked, I couldn’t locate the school. I asked passersby. That took some time. And Vince was pissed, quite pissed.

He expressed how pissed he was on – where else? – BBM.

Vince: Dude, you know you don’t have to lie. I know you’re not coming. You’re all the same.

Me: What do you mean? See, I’m behind the school now. I can see gate number one.

Vince: I can’t deal with you right now. It’s so annoying. You could have just told me you won’t come. Fuck you! You know what, just get out. Don’t contact me again!

I blinked. In fact, omerem voom n’anya, as Vince deleted me from BBM.

But I was there na, standing at Gate number one. I called Stephen to tell him what was up. He was surprised as well. “Have you tried his number?” he asked.

“I’m doing so now o,” I replied.


Griiiinnn! Griiiinnn!

No answer.


Griiiinnn! Griiiinnn!

He picked the call. “Yes?”

Me: I’m in front of Gate number two. Please come outside.

Vince: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. (And I called out the name on the street sign).

Vince: Ok, I’m coming.

I exhaled.

One. Two. Eye contact.

I walked up to him. One. Two. We walked through Gate number two, and were about to walk through his main gate. I stopped abruptly. A sudden surge of insecurity took over me. I felt unsafe.

But what the hell, anything wey wan happen, make e happen. Namsense!

Vince: Are you scared? C’mon, I won’t bite you.

Me: Mm-hmm.

I was hesitant to go in with him. It was written all over me that I didn’t trust him. He could see that. And then, my Chi said go in, and so I went in.

The house was nice. Everything was in order. But I didn’t get to drink it all in as he quickly led me up to his room.

I coughed surreptitiously at this, thinking to myself: I think you’re safe, Kizzy. Just chill.

And then, we got talking. “What do I offer you?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m fine, thanks,” I answered.

But he wasn’t having it oh. “No, no. It’s your first time here. You have to take at least something.” He offered me a chilled can drink.

Paranoia set in. What if he had drugged the drink? Kizzy-mumu, it’s a can drink. So I popped it open and took a sip.

He put on some music. Oh, his playlist was the bomb! Talk to me, Vince. Talk to me!

Well, we talked. We talked about stuff. You know.

“Come over to the bed,” he said.

“Uhmm,” I said.

“Come, if you’re ok with it. Just know that I won’t bite you.”

One. Two. Three. I was on his bed. Y’all know a kiss gon happen, right? You don’t? Well, a kiss happened. Pink lips. Strong lower lip. Vince’s lips.

And then, there was more talking. He yarned about babes in his school, sex with them, his crazy friends. He talks. Oh, chai, his vocabs and voice is somerin’ else. Lol.

I can’t explain how this happened, but he fucked me with my clothes on.

That’s all.

And that was it. That was the wax-seal-stamp on our love letter. But the hasty actions afterwards just had my mind spinning. He led me out through the back door, bike ride, au revoir. Au revoir ooo!


Kizito, see you life!

Written by Kizito

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According to, “existentialism is a philosophy concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility.” I understand it as a journey; a


  1. Mandy
    December 04, 06:15 Reply

    Ok, this is by far my best entry of this series. Kizito, you sef eh, you are a serious character.

  2. Dubem
    December 04, 06:18 Reply

    The Diary of an Unapologetic Hoe… That’s what this series should be called. Nice entry today. This one was clearly a ‘wham-bam-thanks-bae’. Your chi will not allow you to fall into kito. Say amen… 😀

  3. Absalom
    December 04, 06:40 Reply

    Chai. Asewo full this place oh. Kizito, even you!

  4. Mitch
    December 04, 07:57 Reply

    Et tu, Kizito?

    Max, I leave this one for you

    • Brian Collins
      December 04, 08:06 Reply

      Hehehehe, you know Max will descend like an Eagle on his Flamingo abi?

  5. Brian Collins
    December 04, 08:01 Reply

    Kizito, I absolutely adore. If i were to make a list of people I’d like to be friends with in real life Kizito would be part of that list. Where is Trys? That pseudo that starts like Ambi-pur no just folo and Ace (y’all just be changing names)

    • ambivalentone
      December 04, 11:32 Reply

      Loool. Had a game jare. I knew someone would soon get around to calling me Air-Freshener. Oniranu.
      I loved the humor in this piece. Thank your Chi they dinnor prematurely remove ‘zi’ from ur name

  6. Peak
    December 04, 08:17 Reply

    Kizito, I’m a fan of ur journal. I love how unapologetically raw it is. Love ur word play game and how you don’t take urself too seriously. You just go with the flow, letting everything hang out.

    I love ur approach to life, but baby love, you are taking one too many risks. Although that’s the beauty of ur piece along with how authentic and easily relatable it always comes across, but guy! Try slow down biko.

    Secondly! I am pissed that you would go on to pursue a guy who couldn’t keep his cool, insulted you and went on to delete you? Ewò! Ko sele ri! I would have done a volte-face so fast I would be gasping for air when I’m done. Biko self respect is very important. We really need to learn 2 respect ourselves, that’s the only way others would accord “us” respect. If you want to be a “hoe” honey, do it with class. Cos that’s all you have (class and self pride) when “see finish” enters the equation.

    Still a fan though. And thank you for alway keeping 100.

  7. KryxxX
    December 04, 08:26 Reply

    Pls just tell me u came………

    You came right?.

    Oh dear…….. Kizito!!!!!!!!

    Dear lord, keep this child safe.

    His outburst on BBM was a sign from heaven that he was just a hungry he-goat nd you should have turned ur sorry ass and headed back home!! He just treated you like a whore. A cheap one @ that!
    A certain somebody is so gonna use u for ngwogwo dis cold morning! Ha gwocha gi eh, i hu ife tinka kuru pan! So much for not being konji induced…………….

    Love you boy.

    • Max
      December 04, 08:38 Reply

      “His outburst on BBM was a sign from heaven that he was just a hungry he-goat nd you should have turned ur sorry ass and headed back home!! He just treated you like a whore. A cheap one @ that!
      A certain somebody is so gonna use u for ngwogwo dis cold morning! Ha gwocha gi eh, i hu ife tinka kuru pan! So much for not being konji induced”

      ?????.. I agree, 200%

  8. Max
    December 04, 08:33 Reply

    Harlot!!!! .. You guys are always asking for trouble. He deleted you on bbm and you still went ahead to call? “Dignity, self respect”<< Have some for yourself people. Tueh!

    You said it wasn't your dick controlling you, I think you've told yourself that lie so many times that you've actually started believing it.

    • Sinnex
      December 04, 12:49 Reply

      Max, you sef check it out na. He was already in the area, what did you expect him to do? Who knows if he even had transport to go back. You know there are some guys who visit with the intention of getting Transport from the host. So, please don’t be too quick to judge.

      • Chuck
        December 04, 13:26 Reply

        Lol, you’re actually saying it’s OK to go hookup and expect the host to give you transport for the return journey?

        Some of y’all are parasitic

        • Sinnex
          December 04, 15:06 Reply

          If you don’t have anything to say why don’t you go sit on a big black cock.

          Yeye dey smell!

          • Chuck
            December 04, 17:08 Reply

            I’m sorry if you’re touchy about recieving gifts from the men that fuck you

      • Max
        December 04, 14:33 Reply

        I saw what you did there @Sinnex, continue..

  9. posh6666
    December 04, 08:52 Reply

    Kizzy baby but you know this could have actually been a kito situation right? May God continue to protect us sha afterall we cant stop having sex.
    Hopefully the sex was worth it but you should have turned back the moment he gave you attitude and deleted you,i know you might be thinking you cant just waste your tfare and not get a cock but you will have even hurt him more than he hurt you cos he was obviously more horny than you.
    Ps: you guys are in the same town right? I believe you wanted to say 100m not km

  10. bruno
    December 04, 09:10 Reply

    “I can’t explain how this happened, but he fucked me with my clothes on.”

    for a second, i thought that was actually some sort of metaphor

  11. Chizzie
    December 04, 09:11 Reply

    Kizito, I’m actually a fan of yours cause there’s just an endearing quality about you, but gurl you need to step your game up. Please. Where do you keep meeting all these low life men from.? Have you heard of the term being hard to chase but good to catch?

    Anyman that will have you running over to his at the slightest instance would also have the audacity to talk down at you like he did when he pulled that childish tantrum and outburst.
    I like to think you are worth more than this ‘wait for me at the busstop’ hook up stage of life. As we approach 2016 , you need to reevaluate your self worth, and set limits and principles for your self when men are involved

    I think we need to have a bottom empowerment post here cause I don’t know why these bottoms continue to allow tops dictate the terms.

    • Max
      December 04, 09:50 Reply

      “Bottom empowerment” ????.. There’s nothing I haven’t heard on KD

    • Mandy
      December 04, 10:57 Reply

      Hahahahahahahahaa! Chai! Chizzie! Oya, start the movement na

  12. Ruby
    December 04, 10:51 Reply


  13. Dennis Macaulay
    December 04, 11:53 Reply

    Yea baby!

    I like!

    I love spontaneous wham bam thankyou mama sex!

    My goodness! This post actually turned me on

  14. ikhines
    December 04, 12:51 Reply

    This is the best post on this site to be honest. I keep scrolling and hoping there is more. You always leave me hanging.

  15. ikhines
    December 04, 12:55 Reply

    “What’s his name?” needs to learn from. I hope he does!

      • ikhines
        December 04, 17:42 Reply

        Dennis! Yea, I keep forgetting his name!

  16. Sinnex
    December 04, 13:00 Reply

    Everyone here is saying that Kizito took a risk and all. Some times I wonder if the guys here on KD are different from the ones we meet on 2go, Facebook, Badoo, Grindr, Manjam and the rest. Everyone is so perfect that I am wondering if I we are in the same Naija.

    Kizito reminds me of La Coozee. I love that kid! Just make sure you use condom sha.

    Una whey visit dey try sha. I find it hard to visit anyone.

    • Swiss
      December 05, 21:42 Reply

      When your Chi agrees with the hoe spirit in you.. lol.

  17. KennedyI
    December 04, 13:16 Reply

    Nice post…. U r doing perfectly well.

  18. Delle
    December 04, 13:34 Reply

    No no no no no! This is highly unacceptable. The corporate prostitution going on in this KD is mind-boggling. Haba! Self-dignity is all my dearest. That moment he deleted you on BBM, hunnay, leave the place, immediatement!
    *standing akimbo*

    Anyway, I love your always being plain. Never one to tush it all up and serve it to us with sparkling white serviettes…that’s bae. Maybe I should start this ‘mobile’ life seeing as my diary is almost empty. Lol
    Xoxo Kizi

  19. Delle
    December 04, 13:44 Reply

    Hian! This post is so wonderful Kizito for everyone to actually love it and all. Even the supposed villains? Any guy that can actually afford to get the bad guys on KD to love him is supernatural.

  20. Aj
    December 04, 18:25 Reply

    Loool… That was a very big risk tho. He deleted you and you still went ahead. Na so person dey die Ooo.

  21. Dick Advocate
    December 04, 18:37 Reply

    Lol this skinny small boy Kizito.. You are on my list of people I want to dick before the year runs out.. So watch out! I’m sure you will come tell the story soon enough. after me, you will stop humping beds after beds! It’s a promise.
    Mark my words.

  22. Stranger
    December 04, 21:19 Reply

    This is just degrading. I don’t approve.

  23. Diego jay
    December 05, 08:54 Reply

    lollllllz nice write up kiz buh i was waiting to read d part u got caught lol……….ur cup go soon full… (no hard feelings broh)…….. KD z fun!

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