Ulterior Motive

I honestly didn’t know why my ex-boyfriend Cadric was hitting my phone up all day that day. He didn’t text me or hit me up on any of my social media accounts. He just kept calling. I was booked for photoshoots all day, so I didn’t answer his calls while I worked in my studio. Usually, it would be my current fiancé Lionel calling me to remind me to pick something up from the grocery store or to grab the mail from the mailbox. However, I hadn’t gotten a call from Lionel that whole day. Instead, I received nearly fifty calls from Cadric.

“What do you want, Cadric?” I asked after finally answering my phone that afternoon. “You have been calling me all fucking day and I don’t –”

“Calm down, big daddy,” he said with a giggle on the other end. “I thought there were no hard feelings when I left you?”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I’m back in Atlanta.”

“For what?”

“I need your help with something. And before you say no, I’m willing to pay.”

“Willing to pay? You want me to take some shots of you?”

“Exactly. I’m trying to get my name on the audition list for this new reality show for black gay men in paradise. We’ll be spending a month at a resort in Jamaica and –”

“Cadric, I don’t know. I mean, maybe you should get someone else.”

“I need these pics to look professional, Marky. You’re the best photographer I know. If I didn’t trust your skills, then I wouldn’t have invested my money in your studio. Please, Marky, I really need this. Like I said, I’m willing to pay.”

I thought on it for a second and quickly told him, “I’m charging my standard rate plus time for keeping the studio open after work hours. It’s six o’clock and I’ve already been closed for a half-hour.”

“Deal.”

“How fast can you get here?”

“Well, I’m heading to the park a few blocks away from the studio. I was hoping you could meet me there and we could walk back to the studio.”

“Why?”

“I miss you. I would like to know what your life has been like since I moved away last year.”

“I met someone else, moved in with him, and now we’re engaged. There, we’re caught up. Walk here so we can do this.”

“Marky, you’re engaged? Wow, congratulations.”

I blushed a little and rolled my eyes as I said, “Thank you.”

“I’m so happy for you. I had no idea. I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed I haven’t been very active on any of my social media accounts in a while.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Why haven’t you?”

“Come meet me at the park and I’ll tell you. I’m almost there.”

“But Cadric…” The phone beeped because he’d hung up. Not wanting to waste any time, I headed out of my studio building and walked a few blocks over to the park. I didn’t see him anywhere, so I sat down on some steps and waited for him.

“Oh my God!” his voice called out. I looked up to see him standing there with a big smile on his face. “You look so…different.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’re still your usual sexy, tall and beefy self, but there’s definitely something different about you.”

“Well, you look good, too.” I stood up and pointed to his duffle bag and asked, “You got everything you’ll need in there?”

“I sure do. But first…” He dropped the duffle bag and then wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry for this, but I really have missed you, Marky.”

Reluctantly, I hugged him back and told him, “I kinda missed you, too. I can’t lie, I miss you calling me Marky all the time. Nobody else did that but you.”

He pulled back and stared into my eyes as he asked, “Is your fiancé at the studio? I’d love to meet him.”

“Nah, he’s probably still at work right now. He’s a nurse over at Piedmont Atlanta.”

“A nurse? Ooh, I bet he’s resourceful, huh?”

“He takes his job seriously and he works crazy hours, but it’s worth it. He loves helping people.” I pulled out my phone and pulled up a pic of me and Lionel to show him. “That’s my boo, Lionel.”

“Aw, he’s adorable. I didn’t think you were into the high yellow petite type. That’s definitely not who you cheated on me with.”

“Cadric, I thought everything was gonna be cool between us. If you’re gonna throw the past up in my face…”

“I’m sorry. I really am.” He softly touched my arm and stared into my eyes as he told me, “I really am happy for you and Lionel. You make an adorable couple. I hope I get an invitation to the wedding.”

“Hmm, we’ll see about that. You ready to go to the studio?”

“I sure am.” He picked his duffle bag back up and we began walking out of the park. “So, how did you and Lionel meet?”

“I first met him while getting coffee one morning before heading to the studio. We had a conversation that amounted to nothing. But a few nights later, we found each other on Jack’d.” I laughed as I continued, “We hooked up and had sex and then we argued because I wouldn’t let him spend the night. Even though we argued, we made plans to go see a movie and that was it. We’ve been attached ever since. He moved into my place a few months after that and I popped the question a little while after that.”

“Wow, all within a year.”

“Huh?”

“Marcus, it’s been exactly one year since I broke up with you and moved to Charlotte to live with my sister.”

“Oh yeah, it has been a year. Damn. So, what have you been up to?”

“I’ve been dating but nothing serious. I stayed with my sister a few months until I got on my feet and then I got my own place. Charlotte is nice. There aren’t as many messy queens there as there are here, but I do miss Atlanta.”

“Why did you move away? I know you got tired of my bullshit but you could’ve stayed here, Cadric.”

“I needed a restart. It had nothing to do with you. That’s another reason why I wanted you to do my photoshoot. Marky, I don’t want you to feel guilty for how our relationship ended. I still love you and care about you so I feel like I should tell you that it’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. And I’ve accepted the fact that there was nothing I could do to change the situation.”

Hearing him say all of that actually did lift a big weight off my shoulder. I did feel guilty for how I treated Cadric. We’d been together off and on since high school and I cheated on him a lot. Even when we moved in together after college, I had trouble remaining faithful. I loved him so much but I couldn’t stop hurting him and I still don’t know why. With Lionel, I was faithful. I put his needs first every single day. It was almost like I’d become an entirely different person.

“Do you remember where the changing rooms are?” I asked Cadric as we entered the studio.

“Boy, I remember everything about this place,” he replied. “I know you remember when we set this place up. We fucked like animals all over this building.”

I laughed as I asked, “You remember our freaky photoshoot?”

“How could I forget? You licked whipped cream off my ass and I licked a cherry out of yours.”

“I still have those pics. I haven’t looked at them but I do still have them in my secret vault.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing them again.”

I chuckled and said, “Maybe another time. You go ahead and get ready while I set my camera up. I’ll be in room B.”

He went into one of the changing rooms and I grabbed one of my Nikon cameras and headed into one of my photoshoot rooms. I set my camera up on its tripod and then turned on some lighting that would work with Cadric’s skin tone. I was in the middle of getting the lighting right when I finally got a call from Lionel.

“Hey baby,” I said after answering the call. “I’ve been waiting for you to text or call all day.”

“I, uh…I’ve been busy,” he said with an odd tone in his voice.

“Boo, is everything okay? You sound…weird.”

“I’m okay. I’m just tired, baby.” He sniffled and asked, “What time will you be home?”

“I have a…uh…thing I’m doing right now. I’ll probably be home in a couple of hours. Is your shift over?”

“No. I’m still at the hospital. I should be home around nine.”

“Okay. You want me to pick anything up on my way home from the store?”

“Uh…no. That’s okay. I was just calling to check in. I’ll see you later.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I ended the call and suddenly got this feeling that everything wasn’t okay. There was something about the way he sounded over the phone that didn’t sit right with me. I finished setting up, and the moment I turned around to check on Cadric, I saw him standing right there in the doorway, holding a bottle of cocoa butter and clad in nothing but a pair of orange-and-black briefs that fit him perfectly in all the right places. He looked so damn sexy but he had this serious look on his face.

“What?” he asked me. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah,” I said while stepping behind my camera stand to hide the erection forming in my pants. “You look fantastic.”

“Thank you, Marky. Can you help me put some cocoa butter on my back and lower back?”

“Uh…sure. Just give me a second.”

I pretended to do something with my camera for a little while as I thought of different things in an attempt to make my erection go away. When it finally went down enough where it wouldn’t get noticed, I stepped from behind the camera stand and took the bottle from him. I squeezed some of the cocoa butter out onto my hand and then set the bottle down. I rubbed the cocoa butter all over his back and lower back. I rubbed it in and it took every ounce of power within me to keep my dick from getting hard.

“All done,” I said to him as I stopped rubbing his back. “You can go ahead and step up on the platform.”

He stepped onto the raised platform and asked, “How should I pose?”

“Do whatever you want. With the way you look, I don’t think those reality show casting people will care about the poses. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready. Make me look sexy, Marky.”

He didn’t need help in that department. I was damn near on the verge of drooling. Hell, when he laid down on the platform and raised one leg up, I did drool a little. I snapped the first shot of him and that kind of broke the ice in the room. My camera was definitely in sync with him because each and every shot was simply beautiful. His beautiful chocolate skin connected with the lighting and glistened whenever the camera’s flash hit him. As much as I wanted to remain professional while taking shots of him, I couldn’t help but get turned on whenever he looked at me. By the end of the session, I was beyond horny. It got stronger as I reviewed some of the shots.

“I think it’s safe to say you’re gonna get picked for the show,” I told him.

“Really?” he asked with a big smile.

“Hell yeah. You look…you really look amazing, Cadric.”

“Thank you, Marky! I knew I could count on you!” He hugged me and I hugged him back. “Not only am I going to pay you the amount you said I had to pay, I’m gonna give you a tip. Thank you so much!”

It was during that hug that I lost control. My nine inches of uncut dick got hard and there was no stopping it that time. I knew pulling back wouldn’t have worked because he still would’ve noticed. It poked him and he immediately looked down. He backed away a little and just stared at it as his own dick began to get hard in the briefs he was wearing. Without saying a single word to each other, we began kissing and touching all over each other. I grabbed and squeezed on his ass while our hard dicks were pressed together, only kept apart by our clothing.

“Take them briefs off,” I told him.

“Yes, big daddy,” he smiled as he pulled the briefs down and stepped out of them. He turned around and climbed back up onto the platform and parted his ass cheeks for me.

“Damn, when was the last time you got fucked? That ass looks tighter than I remember.”

“Stick your tongue in it and see if it tastes like you remember, Marky.”

I first rubbed on it with my index finger and got turned on every time he made it pucker. I then put my nose to it and sniffed it, taking in its sweet cocoa butter flavored scent. My mouth watered and when I gave him that first lick, I was hooked again. I rimmed him the way I knew he loved being rimmed, nice and slow and wet. He arched his back and put his head down on the platform floor so that I could shove my tongue deep inside him.

After just a few minutes, he pulled away and told me, “I wanna go somewhere more comfortable.”

“Like where?” I asked. “I can’t take you back to my place. I know you used to live there too, but I live there with Lionel and…”

“I was thinking of my hotel suite, Marky.” He laughed and asked, “Can you drive me back there?”

“I’m not sure I can drive with my dick being this hard.”

He slid his hand into my pants and grabbed my dick before saying, “Just think of all the things I’ll do to it once we get to my hotel suite.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

“I’m gonna go change and you go ahead and send those shots to my email. You remember my email address, right?”

“Yeah, I do. Go ahead and get changed. I’ll send them to you. I’m ready to give you the dick I know you’ve been missing, baby.”

He dashed out of the room and I bent down to pick up the briefs he’d left behind. I sniffed them before stuffing them into my back pocket. I then headed over to my camera, took out my SD card and inserted it into my MacBook. I emailed him each photo and then shut my computer down. Within minutes, we were in my Chevy Tahoe headed to the Hilton where he was staying. The moment we entered his suite, we were all over each other. He immediately got down on his knees, pulled my pants and boxer briefs down and started sucking my dick.

“You have no idea how much I missed this uncut dick,” he said to me while licking on my foreskin. “I miss how you used to stretch me out with this thick piece of meat.”

“I am gonna nut all inside you like I used to,” I told him as I pulled my shirt off. “And then I’m gonna suck the nut out your ass.”

“Ooh, I see you’re still nasty as fuck.”

“Only for you, baby. Only for you.”

We got naked and climbed onto the bed and I fucked his mouth the way I used to when we were together. I choked him and had him gagging like crazy as I pushed my dick into his throat. I’d never admit it out loud, but Cadric was the best partner I’d ever had in bed. I cheated on him but I never wanted it to end because he did please me sexually. With him, I never had to tell him what I wanted. He always seemed to just know. Like once he started rimming my asshole without me telling him I wanted him to do that. It was never that way with Lionel.

With Lionel, I had to suppress a lot of my sexual desires. He was more conventional and conservative in bed. Yet, I loved that about him. He was my little innocent boo that had only been with two other guys before me. Thinking about him suddenly changed the mood for me and I knew Cadric noticed it. He stopped sucking my dick and sat up on his knees and began kissing and sucking on my nipples. I just wasn’t feeling it by that point so I stopped him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did I do something wrong? You like having your nipples sucked, right?”

“Yeah, but I can’t do this. I’m sorry Cadric but this is wrong. I can’t do this to Lionel.”

“Oh, wow.”

“I know you’re probably pissed at me but…”

“No. No, it’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Marky, it’s fine. And you’re right, this is wrong. You’re engaged and I shouldn’t have pushed for this.”

“You didn’t really push for it. I caused this. I should’ve known seeing you would bring up all sorts of feelings, especially seeing you in nothing but underwear. This whole thing was a mistake now when I think about it.”

“Well, thanks for taking the photos of me. There’s nothing wrong with you helping me with that.”

“I should get going.” I picked my clothes up and began getting dressed. He climbed under the sheets to shield his naked body from me. Before leaving, I looked at him and said, “I’m really sorry, Cadric.”

“Marky, I already told you it’s fine.”

“No, I mean, I’m sorry about everything. Look, I guess I’m always going to love you. I’m always gonna have a thing for you because we were great together for a time. You were my first love and I was yours. That never really goes away, huh?”

“No, it doesn’t. But I’m happy for you and the man you’ve become. I envy Lionel. He doesn’t have to go through what I went through. I hope it all works out for you and him.”

“Thanks. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Marky.”

Without saying another word, I left his suite. I tried to call Lionel as I was driving home, but he didn’t answer. I was so happy that I hadn’t caved in and gone all the way with Cadric. I messed up but I didn’t complete it. Lionel was all I needed and I had to stay committed to him. So when I got home and noticed his car was in the driveway, I jumped out of my truck and ran in.

“Lionel, baby,” I called out as I ran upstairs. “Boo, I’m so glad you’re home. I…” I stopped when I noticed him standing there with his luggage packed. “Baby, what’s going on?”

“You dirty bastard,” he said while staring at me with his shades on.

“What? Boo, what’s wrong?”

“I thought he was bullshitting me until I saw you with him! I saw you hug him! And I saw you go from your studio to that damn hotel!”

“Saw who? Baby, what the fuck is going on?”

“Your fucking ex, Marcus! You fucked him, didn’t you?”

“Whoa, hold up. How do you even know what my ex looks like?”

“Did you fuck him?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“But you did meet up with him and you took him back to your studio?”

“He wanted me to take some pics of him for some audition or something like that. Did he call you or something?”

“He showed up at the hospital yesterday and told me you were a serial cheater.”

“What? Lionel, I’m not like that anymore. Whatever he told you –”

“Not like that anymore? Marcus, you never told me you had that kind of problem. If you had, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day!”

“Baby, I’ve been faithful to you. I’ve been one hundred percent faithful and loyal to you the whole time we’ve been together. I’ve changed, baby.”

He looked me up and down and took off his shades before asking, “You’ve changed, huh? Oh, you’ve changed?” He reached behind me and pulled out the pair of briefs I’d forgotten was in my back pocket. “You’re disgusting.”

“Baby, wait. There’s a story behind that and –”

“I thought he was playing me but you’re the one playing me. You’ve been playing me this whole time.”

“Lionel, this is bullshit! I didn’t cheat on you.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t cheat on Cadric either, huh?”

“I did but that was a long time ago.”

“Last year is a long time ago to you? You told me you and your ex broke up because you argued all the time. You didn’t mention anything about fidelity issues on your part. I can’t believe I accepted that whack ass proposal! I am so stupid!”

“Lionel, you have to believe me. Nothing happened between me and Cadric. I don’t want him like that anymore.”

“Is that right? Well, he told me that you have these pics of him and you having sex in your studio. Do you still have them or did you destroy them? And have you deleted the pics you took of him today? Prove to me that you don’t still want him and that you didn’t fuck him just now in his hotel suite!”

I looked down at the floor and told him, “All I have is my word, baby.”

Tears rolled down his face as he told me, “Your word doesn’t mean shit to me anymore.” He took off the ring I’d put on his finger and hit me in the face with it before shouting, “Stay the fuck away from me! I hate you!” He dashed out of our bedroom and seconds later, I heard the front door open and slam.

“Damnit!” I shouted as I kicked over the nightstand beside the bed. I almost lost my shit for a second but then pulled it together and pulled out my phone. I called Cadric twenty times in a row and he finally picked up on the twenty-first call.

“Wassup, Marky,” he said happily.

“You piece of fucking trash! Why did you lie to Lionel like that? He just walked out on me.”

“Lie? Motherfucker, where did I lie? You are a cheating ass bastard and I’m glad that poor boy had enough sense to leave your ass before you ruined his life the way you ruined mine.”

“Ruined your…” I snapped and said, “Listen here, you fucking bitch, you better call Lionel or meet up with me and him and straighten this shit out!”

“Or what? What the fuck are you going to do? I’ve already checked out of my suite and I’m on my way back to Charlotte as we speak.”

“Why did you do this to me? I thought we were cool.”

“We will never be cool because you hurt me, Marcus. I’m damaged because of the shit you put me through, and it doesn’t matter how many therapists I go see, I’ll never be able to trust anyone the way I put my trust in you. I couldn’t sit back and let you do to Lionel what you did to me.”

I cried and my voice cracked as I shouted, “I love Lionel! I wouldn’t do that shit to him!”

“Well, I considered that possibility and I wanted to believe you’d changed but you failed every single test. Agreeing to do the photoshoot was fine, but you got turned on and you touched me and kissed me. You put your tongue in my ass and then fucked my throat before you even thought about Lionel. Do you know how fucked up that is? You are a lost fucking cause, Marcus! Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

“Fuck you! You faggot ass bitch!”

I hung up on him and threw my phone against the wall before breaking out into a crazed fit. I tore the bedroom up and punched several holes in the wall. In all my frustration and anger, I realized Cadric was right. I only had myself to blame. Coming to terms with that realization took me into an even darker place. I needed serious help and I didn’t know where to start. All I knew was that everything wasn’t going to be okay and my life had been changed forever.

Written by D. A. Morrison