When They Ask: “Are You Gay?”

When They Ask: “Are You Gay?”

Somebody: Are you gay?

Me: Which of them? ?

Somebody: How many types do you know? ?

Me: Many.

Somebody: I only know about one.

Me: Really! Where did you school?

Somebody: How does this concern the question I asked?

Me: I wanted to know the stupid school you went to that only helped you understand that gay means only one thing.

Somebody: The gay I mean is “homo.” Are you a “homo?” ?

Me: Which of the homo are you referring to? ?

Somebody: ? Homo has types again?

Me: Yes! You didn’t know? So you don’t even know that you belong to the “Homo” family?

Somebody: God forbid! I can never be a homo. ?

Me: Devil forbid good thing! Unfortunately, we all are. ??

Somebody: It’s you that is homo. God punish you there. ?

Me: But you are homo too na. Why are you angry? You should be gay that you are homo. Your type should have ended up a sheep ????. Or maybe sheep are even more enlightened than you are.

Somebody: See the nonsense you are even saying. I should be gay that I am homo. Does it even make sense? Is gay and homo not the same thing.

Me: They are, and at the same time, they are not. It depends on which you are using and why. You could be gay and not be homo. But everyone, whether they are gay or not, is homo. Although it’s not every homo that is gay. ??? Do you understand me? Like, do you understand what I just said? ???

Somebody: You are just mad. You don’t have sense. Stupid homo like you.

Me: But you are homo now. I get it. Your own homo has sense, while my own doesn’t have sense. I understand. But the fact is that you are homo too. ????

Somebody: Asshole!

Me: Ohhhhhhh! You like assholes? Noooo wonder! I should have known. ?????

Somebody: Thunder fire you there!

Me: Idiot! Thunder doesn’t fire people. It’s lightning. And it strikes. It doesn’t fire. ???

Somebody: I’m blocking you ass now!

Me: ??? I cover my ass with the blood. You want to block my ass? I knew you were homo, only that you’re not gay about it. ??????

Somebody: (Blocks me.)

Me: ??????????????????

Written by Chukwudi

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  1. Babyboy
    June 06, 06:26 Reply

    And the Award for “The Most Tactful Yet Sarcastic Man” goes to Chukwudi.
    I admit there was a lack of consistency on “Somebody’s” part and your use of Reversed Psychology on him was 100%???

  2. Dunder
    June 06, 08:16 Reply

    “You should be gay that you are homo. Your type should have ended up a sheep”- Yes, sometimes, evolution does disappoint.
    I cover my ass with the blood. You want to block my ass? I knew you were homo, only that you’re not gay about it. – LMAO!

    At least, the poor lad didn’t ask if you were “a gay”. For the everyday homophobe who can’t enough of “homos” He’s not a thorough disappointment

  3. Mandy
    June 06, 08:34 Reply

    ????????? This is the most hilarious thing ever. Somebody came to do tatafo in your inbox and you rewarded him with frustration.

  4. Omiete
    June 06, 18:56 Reply

    I started film school in Lagos and from the first day everyone started asking questions of why are you behaving like a girl and all that jazz. Today one guy called me gay and said he will cover his ass sk that I won’t try to f*** him. I responded by begging him not to be ignorant that some of us care for the ass while some others care for the other parts of the body. After some more shades if I will call it that I finally told him if he wants my ass he should just ask..

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