ROULETTE OF THE DAMNED 14: Toxic

Edirin started rambling. “You have to understand, Abbey. He was a perfect gentleman at first. I couldn’t help myself. It all happened so fast.”

In spite of herself, Abbey reached forward to take Edirin’s hand in hers, the reassurance in her touch apparent to the other woman. “Edirin, I know now that you didn’t mean to let any of it happen, but I am going to need you to start from the very beginning. Can you do that?”

Edirin nodded like a child who’d just been told she would get a big present if she was a good girl from now on.

She began speaking, “It all started one day five years ago, when I came to visit you at home. It was that day you told me about Andrew, and how you had always had a crush on for over a year was visiting Nigeria from London, but you had never made a move on him because he wasn’t permanently based in Nigeria.”

As Abbey nodded, Bukunmi turned a wide-eyed gaze on her, “Really? You once had a crush on Andrew?”

Abbey looked abashed as she answered, “Yes, I did. When Andrew was still living in the UK all those years ago, he visited Nigeria for a couple of weeks. I was so madly in lust with him that I decided to tell him how I felt.”

Bukunmi’s brows arched higher in surprise. “This is rich. So you fell for Andrew before you fell for Jiro and now you’ve fallen for Andrew’s cousin?” As Abbey nodded, she quipped in an amused tone, “In other words, you are currently dating your ex-fiancé’s lover’s cousin, and should you marry Mofe, this ex-fiancé’s lover will become your cousin-in-law.”

Abbey gave out a small humourless chuckle as she replied, “Yup, that about sums it up. His sexuality aside, Andrew is hot. You admitted as much yourself at the birthday dinner. So” – she gestured at Edirin – “can we get back to her story now?”

“Hold on,” Edirin said, shaking her head, her face looking bemused, “what birthday dinner? What do you mean about Andrew’s sexuality? What did I miss?”

Realizing then that there was so much of her life that Edirin hadn’t been privy to ever since she cut her out, Abbey said, “Not now, we’ll talk about it later. Right now, let’s finish with you first.”

Edirin nodded and continued with her story. “After, Andrew went back to the UK and Jiro started asking you out, you and I went out clubbing one Friday night and after it, I drove you home. You were really tipsy, so I led you to your room and put you in bed. When I got back downstairs, it was to meet Jafar – er, your father waiting for me in the living room. He told me to sit down and eat something to soak up all the alcohol I had taken at the club so that I wouldn’t risk having an accident on my way home. I asked about your mum, and he said she had gone out for a vigil. He shoved a glass of juice in my hands and insisted I eat something before I left. You have to understand, I didn’t want to say no to your dad because he represented a father figure to me at the time. I ate and drank what he gave me, not knowing that he had drugged the glass of orange juice. I did not know when I slept off on the couch in your living room. I came to, to find him on top of me, making love to me.”

“You mean raping you,” Bukunmi corrected grimly.

“Yes…yes, that’s what I meant,” Edirin agreed. “I wanted to cry out but he crushed his lips on mine and kept going until he was done. I was devastated, and I told him I would tell everyone what he had done and he told me no one would believe me. He said he would tell the world that I used juju on him to have sex with me and he was none the wiser. I don’t know how the switch happened really. One minute I was threatening to expose him and the next minute, I was begging him not to expose me. He promised he wouldn’t, as long as I continued sleeping with him. I agreed and he has been the only man I have ever been with since.”

Abbey stared on at her friend, all the while remembering how her father had violated her mother, and feeling her extremities go cold. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she rasped.

“I thought I would lose you if you ever found out. I felt you would choose to believe your father over me, so I let him have his way. After a while, I got used to letting him have his way and at some point, I started enjoying it. I don’t know…I started to see him less as a man taking advantage of me, and more as a man I could love. And before long, I fell in love with him. At that point, it didn’t matter anymore that he raped me the very first time. I convinced myself that bad things sometimes happened for good reasons. Five years down the line and here I am, pregnant and still naive. My God, I’m so stupid.”

It was Bukunmi’s turn to take Edirin’s hands in hers. “Oh honey, you were sexually assaulted and because you didn’t know any better, you thought it was love. I’m so sorry you had to go through this alone for so long.”

“Edirin, I am so sorry,” Abbey added. “I never knew.” She could not believe the extent of her father’s monstrous nature. She became sure then that there was a special place in hell reserved for men like her father. Taking a deep inhalation, she said, “Edirin, I really hate to ask you this, but I need you to be absolutely sure. Is the baby really his?”

Edirin nodded, her eyes just then glassy with a sheen of tears. “I swear on my life and the life of my parents, Abbey. The baby is Jafar’s. I thought he’d take care of me. Of us.”

“You’ve told him?”

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

Edirin appeared to shrivel in her seat. She shook her head and stifled a sob.

Bukunmi answered for her. “He told her to get an abortion.”

Abbey pressed her lips into a thin line. That sounded like something her father would say. “Is that what you want?” she asked Edirin.

“No. He told me I had to do it because this baby would ruin everything. He was angry and accused me of failing in my responsibility of keeping myself from getting pregnant. Abbey, I swear I was on the pill. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But still, I thought maybe he’d be happy. When I said I didn’t want an abortion, he called me a whore and said it was probably not even his baby.”

“Wow.” Abbey felt the cold well up inside her. “I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t go through with it,” Edirin said to Abbey, the tears falling freely now. “I can’t have an abortion. I just can’t…”

“Then don’t. You don’t have to.”

“But he told me I had to. He would never speak to me again if I don’t do it.”

“It’s your baby and your body,” Abbey said firmly. “Besides, he won’t be there for you, no matter what you decide.” When Edirin nodded, Abbey couldn’t tell if she believed her or not. She asked, “Are you afraid of him?”

Edirin’s gaze dropped down. “I never used to be,” she said.

“You are now?”

“Sort of,” Edirin admitted quietly.

“Does he hit you?”

“Once, but he didn’t mean for it to happen. I shouldn’t have whined so much about missing him. He had warned me about being too clingy. He got angry about it, but it was my fault. Really, it was an accident. He never meant for it to happen.”

“You can’t hit someone by accident,” Abbey said flatly, feeling more than a tinge of misery as she saw battered personality she’d observed in her mother manifesting itself in her friend. She decided it was time to make Edirin see reality. “He hits my mum all the time.”

Both her friends widened their eyes on her. Edirin gasped softly, “He does?”

Abbey nodded. “Don’t trust him.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell us before now?” Bukunmi asked, clearly hinting that all of this could have been avoided if Abbey hadn’t kept her father’s behaviour a secret.

Abbey heaved a sigh. “It’s hard to explain. I was brought up that way. It was a family secret and I was told by my mum never to tell. Things got worse as I got older. I got scared and ashamed.”

“He really hits your mum?” Edirin asked, evidently still reeling. “You mean like slapping her every now and then?”

“No. I mean he beats her on a regular basis, sometimes just for the fun of it. She covers the bruises with makeup. He broke her arm and some of her ribs one time.”

“Oh God,” Edirin muttered. Her hand flew to her mouth. “I can’t believe he would do that,”

“Yes, you can. Because he’s come close to doing the same thing with you, right?”

Edirin looked away and wiped at a new flood of tears. “What am I going to do?” she asked. “If I don’t have the abortion, he’ll deny the baby is his. He said he’ll tell people I’m a lying whore. He told me he’s a respected lawyer and he knows how to work the system in his favour. “

The fact that Edirin was repeating Jafar’s words over and over only indicated to Abbey that her father had succeeded in making Edirin believe every word that came out of his mouth was the gospel truth.

“Yes, but he can’t change the results of a DNA test,” she said. “And even if he can, you don’t need to worry about what he might say to people. You have to make a decision that’s right for you and this baby. Not him.”

“I haven’t even told my parents about the pregnancy yet.” Edirin said, her fear apparent. “They are both pastors, for chrissakes! They will kill me if they find out. And then, the shame will probably kill them after they kill me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Dealing with Jafar is one thing. Dealing with my parents is something else entirely.”

“All will be well, Edirin,” Bukunmi said reassuringly. “If you’d like, I can be there with you when you tell your parents.”

An appreciative smile formed across Edirin’s face. “I’d really like that. Maybe they will be slow to act if someone else is in the room when they find out. To be honest with both of you, I have thought about giving the baby up for adoption.”

“Don’t make any decisions just yet,” Bukunmi said. “You need to give yourself a little time so you don’t do something you will regret.”

Abbey squeezed Edirin’s hand and added, “Whatever you decide, Bukunmi and I will help you through it.”

***

“You are not going alone,” Mofe objected.

“Well you can’t come with me,” Abbey replied smoothly. “It’s bad enough that I’m taking my mum’s place in going to pick my dad up from the airport. If anyone else that isn’t family shows up, he’ll go ballistic.”

Mofe paced back and forth in his living room, ready to wear the floor out. “I don’t care. You are not doing this alone. I won’t let you. I refuse to feed to you to the devil on a platter.”

Abbey sighed, a smile on her face. It was cute to see Mofe so worked up on her behalf. “What do you want me to do, Mofe? Like it or not, he is still my father.”

Mofe didn’t ease up on his pacing. “Send a cab to pick him up. Metro taxis do it all the time. I’ll even foot the bill. Hell, I’d rent a limousine from Ikeja City Mall if I have to. You are not going to pick him up, Abbey.”

Abbey laughed. “Why waste money renting a limousine for him when you can easily pay that money into my bank account? And you know I’d make it worth your while.” She winked at him before continuing, “And a metro taxi? Really? He’d kill my mum and me for sure.”

Mofe stopped walking and settled a serious expression on Abbey. “Don’t joke about that Abbey…anything but that.” Walking over to her, he squatted in front of Abbey and said, “Please don’t go. From all you have told me about how your dad has treated you, your mum, and Edirin, surely you know you don’t owe him anything.”

“I know that but I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing it for my mum,” Abbey said gently as she touched Mofe’s face.

Turning his face into Abbey’s palm, Mofe kissed her hands and took a deep breath. “I know, my love. It doesn’t mean that I like the idea. I’m sure your mum will understand if you don’t go. Just send a cab. I promise I’ll even pay the cabbie double for it if I have to, and I’ll still put some money into your account as an added bonus. It may not be up to the money for the limousine but it’ll be enough to get your mind off picking your dad up from the airport. You could always go shopping instead.” He smiled hopefully at her.

Abbey wanted to agree. She had never turned down the opportunity to go shopping before. Money and shopping with no expectations in return – any girl would jump at the offer, especially if it was coming from her fiancé. The only thing that made Abbey rethink accepting the offer was the promise she had made to her mother. “I can’t, Mofe. It may not make any sense to you but I have to do this. Besides, this will give me the opportunity to talk to him one last time and say things I need to get off my chest.”

“Abbey –”

“Please Mofe, stop.” She kissed his forehead and then said, “I love you for worrying about me, but you have to let me do this one thing for my own peace of mind. Please?”

Looking resigned, Mofe got up from his squatting position and collapsed on the couch beside Abbey. “Fine. I guess your mind is made up.”

“Yes it is.”

“How about a compromise? If you insist on going, let me come with you. At least if I’m there, I’d  breathe easier knowing that you are safe and I’d be able to protect you if he tries anything.”

“No, my darling,” Abbey objected softly. “Thanks for offering, but I’ll be fine.”

Mofe pulled Abbey on top of him, exasperated at her defiance of him. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her lips, needing a distraction from her consistent ‘no’ as her answers.

“Please, let me go with you,” he begged.

With a smile, Abbey half-heartedly wriggled to break free from Mofe’s hold but only succeeded in making him tighten his hold on her waist. She laughed as she melted into his arms. “The answer is still no.”

“Then I’ll just have to do it my way,” Mofe said with a small smile on his face.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Mofe said quickly.

Abbey wasn’t convinced. “Mofe, I don’t want you doing anything crazy.”

“Fine,” Mofe said easily.

Abbey frowned. “No. Don’t give me that. Don’t just say fine. Fine is what I say when things are not fine.” She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head ever so slightly. “What are you planning?”

He kissed her slowly, exploring the recesses of her mouth with a gradual build of passion. His breath was hot against her neck as he gave her love bites and started travelling down the curve of her breasts. “I want you so bad,” he murmured.

Abbey had never been kissed like this before. It was as if Mofe was trying to draw her soul out through her mouth. He explored the soft surface of her lips and when their tongues finally met, she thought she was going to explode. She kissed him back just as hard before breaking the kiss, making Mofe groan.

“Nice try, baby,” she said, “but I wrote the book on seduction and averting questions. Okay, look, I don’t need to know what you have planned, but promise me you won’t show up at the airport or at my father’s house. If you do, all of this” – she took his hands and ran the palms over her body, before pushing them away – “will not be anywhere near you for a long, long, long time.”

Mofe chuckled. “That’s a difficult one, but I’m sure I can learn to live with that. I am a patient man. I can wait for a long, long, long time”

“I will also make sure I only wear granny panties when coming to see you from now on,” Abbey added.

He gave her a look of mock pain.”You little vixen. Now, you’re just playing dirty.”

“And I will never trust you again,” she finished, looking serious this time.

Mofe’s face lost his smile.”That’s going too far, Abbey. C’mon, you have to try and understand things from my point of view.”

“I’m being this way because I want you safe. He’s my father. He won’t hurt me. You, on the other hand, he will have no problem hurting. I’d never be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. Promise me Mofe…please.”

“Okay,” Mofe said with a groan and a roll of his eyes. “If it means so much to you, I promise.”

“Thank you, my love,” she said as she kissed his cheek. “Now, in other news, is there any new information about Andrew and Jiro? I remember Andrew saying he was going to call you and tell you everything that happened.”

Not wanting to reveal everything Andrew had told him, but needing to take Abbey’s mind off her father’s case, Mofe said, “They are both going good. Yes, I had a very long talk with Andrew. I can’t go into all the details just yet but from what he told me, the situation isn’t as bad as it seems.”

“But it’s a gay relationship, Mofe. Your closest cousin who you say is as close as a brother to you is in a gay relationship with my ex-fiancé. Surely you can’t tell me you don’t have a problem with that.”

“Yes, I know it is a gay relationship but they seem really happy together. I really can’t ask for more than that. If a woman doesn’t do it for either of them, I think it’s only fair that they go for what works for them. After all, one man’s poison is another man’s food.”

Abbey laughed. “It’s actually the other way around, Mofe. It’s ‘one man’s food is another man’s poison’, but I get your point.” She grimaced before continuing, “I guess I could cut them some slack. I know people say a girl’s male best friend is usually a fag, but that isn’t always the case.”

Mofe touched his chin as he said, “Uh, you might not want to call them fags. That will only get you on their wrong side very quick. In Andrew’s and Jiro’s case, they are bisexual, not gay. From what Andrew explained to me, there’s a lot of labeling in their world. Every word, colour and gesture means something. He says the good thing about their world though is how their shared sexual orientation somehow instantly makes them family, new acquaintances and old friends alike. There’s this instant connection when one identifies the other as gay.”

“It still doesn’t make it right.”

Mofe sighed. “I had the same thoughts initially, before Andrew explained his own personal experience to me. Before my birthday, very few people knew that Andrew was bisexual. It was a secret he held close to himself for years. Until he and Jiro’s relationship started, Andrew had always believed that he couldn’t put himself out there, put his heart and reputation on the line for any man. Opening up for love was difficult enough for both of them. Put yourself in their positions. The butterflies they both felt for each other could have either assisted their attraction to each other or it could have choked them. They were not guaranteed which side of the coin they would get before they took that jump into risky waters. They were lucky that their butterflies assisted their attraction. Had it choked them, we would be singing a different tune right now. Others in their position usually aren’t so lucky. To have homosexual tendencies in such a heterosexual community as this only makes what they have to live with on a daily basis ten times worse. Maybe you should focus on their personalities and not their sexual orientation. It would do you, and them, a world of good.”

“I guess you are right,” Abbey conceded again. “With the way you are talking, I kinda wish I understood them more and not judge them simply on their sexuality. How about we meet up with them tomorrow? It’ll be Friday. We can go for drinks and a movie or something. At least, I’d get the chance to apologise for being such a bitch to them. And if I’m lucky, I’d get my two best male friends back. Besides,” she added, “I’m going to need a distraction tomorrow evening to celebrate successfully picking up my dad from the airport and walking away from him forever once I dump his ass outside my parents’ house.”

“That sounds like an awesome plan,” Mofe said, “but tomorrow’s not really a good time to plan anything with Jiro and Andrew. It seems they are both going to spend the weekend with Jiro’s parents, to celebrate his parents’ anniversary. They should be there from tomorrow till Sunday. But I’ll call him next week and see if they can fix us into their plans.”

“Hmmm,” Abbey said simply, wondering at how Jiro and Andrew had gotten to that point in their relationship where they were now going off to Jiro’s parents’ house for family celebrations. Then again, Andrew was Jiro’s oldest friend, and not just a potential new wife he was bringing home to show his parents. “Very well,” she said to Mofe, “I guess we could do next weekend. In the mean time, you can keep me busy tomorrow evening.”

“What did you have in mind?” Mofe asked with a slowly-widening smile on his face.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll figure out something,” Abbey said with a light laugh.

“I have. Why don’t we test some of those options out right now,” Mofe said with a grin, before kissing her thoroughly and then hefting her up and moving toward his bedroom.

***

Andrew woke up instantly at 8am on Friday morning, the time between sleep and wakefulness measured in milliseconds. It took him a few seconds to realise that he wasn’t in his own bed, but Jiro’s. There was no sign of the man he’d shared the bed with, though the distinctive aroma of eggs and toast bread told him that his lover was nearby.

His lover.

Andrew dropped back on the bed, and acknowledged the word, tasted it and felt a sudden longing for the one man that knew him better than anyone else. In light of recent events, Andrew forced himself to re-evaluate his understanding of love. Seeing Jiro walk into the room, Andrew realised that he didn’t have the right to decide how many relationships he had in his life. Contrary to popular belief, there could be more than one epic love in one’s lifetime, but Andrew was content with the epic love that fate had thrown his way in the form of Jiro. As Jiro dropped the breakfast on the bed and smiled at him, Andrew finally admitted to himself that his heart’s capacity for love, and who he gave his heart and love to, was out of his control. Simply put, the heart wanted what the hearts wanted.

“Morning, papi,” Jiro said, as he made his way to the bathroom with his toothbrush. “Ready for the big meet-and-greet with my parents tonight?”

“Absolutely,” Andrew lied.

“Great! They’ll love you. Now eat up and let’s get ready for work.” Then he disappeared into the bathroom.

“Right behind you,” Andrew called back, before sitting up in bed, and thinking again about how much he dreaded the coming weekend.

***

As she pulled up into the short stay parking lot, Abbey saw that her father had spotted her from where he stood. He looked at his wrist watch, adjusted his tie, and waited for her to drive the car over.

Dressed impeccably in a grey suit, Jafar placed his matching hand luggage and suitcase at the back seat, got into the car beside Abbey, and stared into the distance. For a moment, Abbey allowed herself to consider what might have been if Jafar had been a better father. He looked pissed, she observed. She knew why; she was late.

“Hi dad,” she said.

“Where is your mother?” Jafar asked.

“She hasn’t been feeling very well since you left. The doctor put her on bed rest so I told her I’d pick you up.”

“She’s sick?” Jafar asked, his poker face not giving Abbey any hints as to what his thoughts were.

“Yes sir.”

“I called her phone. There was no answer.”

Shrugging, Abbey said, “She’s probably sleeping or something. You know her and her headaches.”

Jafar nodded, before biting out, “Drive.”

Abbey gave a nod of her own, and engaged the gear. Soon, she pulled into the main traffic and kept going. Neither of them seemed inclined to speak to each other, so the atmosphere in the car remained stiff and silent. At some point during the drive, it started raining.

Abbey soon got to the estate where they lived. She was driving down their street, when Jafar said, “So why don’t you tell me the truth about your mother? Unless she is dying, she knows better than to send someone else to pick me up. She knows even better than to avoid my calls on any given day of the damn week. So I ask you again, young lady, where exactly is your mother?”

Abbey swallowed hard and fought to maintain a neutral expression. “I told you, she’s not feeling well. She’s sick in bed.”

“That still doesn’t explain why she did not call me or answer the phone when I called her over an hour ago to find out where she was and why she was late to pick me up from the airport. If anything, she would have picked up her phone and told me she sent you instead.” He watched her with appraising eyes. “You better not be lying to me, Abbey.”

Eager to change the conversation, Abbey said, “I spoke to Edirin the other day.”

Jafar immediately stiffened. “And?”

“And she told me about the baby.”

“That girl needs to learn the value of silence,” Jafar snapped in a tone that held no love for Edirin.

“That girl” – Abbey’s lips curled around the word – “is carrying your baby! That fact is disgusting enough as it is, but now, you don’t even want to support her through it? How can you want her to get an abortion? How could you accuse her of whoring and say the baby is not yours?”

“I did not force her to do anything she didn’t want to do,” Jafar retorted. “If anything, it’s that girl that seduced me.”

“Seduced you? You’re still sticking to that story?” Abbey said derisively.

“This issue is none of your concern. It will be handled in due course and you will stay out of it. Do you understand me?”

Abbey didn’t bother replying, as she concentrated on parking the car, now that they were inside the compound. She didn’t want to be around this man anymore. She remained seated, after pulling up, leaving the engine to idle. “Welcome home, sir. I have to leave to grab some things from the market to cook dinner. If you’d kindly take your bags from the back, I’ll be back soon.”

“Turn off the ignition,” Jafar instructed. “I’m sure you will want to check on your mum and see how she is doing briefly before you go buy the things for dinner.”

Cussing inwardly, Abbey reluctantly switched off the engine. She had to find a way to get out of here immediately. Jafar got to the front door, unlocked it and pushed it open. His posture was rigid and his jaw was set.

“Carry my bags to the bedroom for me,” he said as he walked into the living room. “That way, you can check on your mother. She might want a few things from the market.”

Abbey’s pulse quickened and her stomach began twisting into tight knots. Her mother had left her goodbye note propped up against her father’s pillow. The last thing she wanted was to be upstairs with her father when he found that note. She hadn’t stopped to think about how suspicious he would be when her mother didn’t show up to the airport to get him. She had been too preoccupied with getting her mother out of the house that she hadn’t really thought things through. Why hadn’t she just listened to Mofe when he had insisted she didn’t go?

Feeling her heart thumping hard, she said hoarsely, “Sure, of course, dad.”

Jafar said nothing. He stood in the living room watching as Abbey grabbed his bag and lugged it up the stairs. She hurried down the hall, dropping it inside her parents’ bedroom. The envelope, with her father’s name scrawled across the front, caught her eye. Her mother had kept the note brief. She’d placed it on the pillow and they’d shared a sense of relief. They had both succeeded in escaping, or so she had thought. She would succeed at nothing if she didn’t get moving.

Abbey turned around to leave and was startled to find Jafar just inside the doorway. His gaze had been on the note as well. He turned to face her and said in a steely tone, “I’ll ask you again. Where is your mother?”

“I don’t know…” Abbey said, feeling fear begin to clench at her insides.

“From the handwriting on that envelope, it seems that the note is from your mother.”

“I guess.” Abbey swallowed a lump in her throat. “I’ll leave you alone to–”

“You are not going anywhere,” Jafar cut across her words in a harsh voice.

He reached a hand out and gently closed the door behind him.

And Abbey knew she was in trouble.

Written by The Controvert