So I met this guy on Grindr. Let’s call him Daniel. Daniel and I had been chatting for awhile. He was in Enugu and I was in Nnewi. During the first few days of our getting acquainted, he would ask me to come visit him, and I would say no, because I was too reluctant to make the trip. Another reason I couldn’t be bothered with going to see him was because he was quite the annoying character. It wasn’t just about his conversations; when we were exchanging pics, he sent me a photo he claimed was him, and then days later, I met someone online who had the exact same photo as his own. And so, when I confronted Daniel, he admitted that he hadn’t sent me a photo of himself, apologized and sent me another pic. I had no way of knowing if this was another fake, and the entire drama was a big turn-off for me. I wasn’t going to make an effort to see someone who I didn’t trust to be forthcoming about his identity.

However an opportunity presented itself. I was supposed to go to Awka for an exam on a Friday. I decided that since I was finally going to be out of my house and on the road, I might as well see Daniel in Enugu after my exam in Awka. I chatted him up and told him about my decision. He was pleased and sent me money for the stopover transport.

After my exam, I got on a bus to Enugu. Upon getting there, I called Daniel. I was at Peace Mass and he told me to get to Shoprite. He wanted us to meet there. This kind of journey upon journey is something I don’t like. I like to know all there is to know about a movement before I set out. I’d expected him to come pick me up at the park; having to embark on another waka was just irritating for me.

Anyway, I looked at my watch. It was 3.45 pm. I checked Google Maps, and decided to walk to Shoprite. I soon realized that decision was a mistake (the first of the many I would make during this trip), because Google Maps had said that I would get to Shoprite in about 30 minutes on foot. But I got there fairly exhausted after about an hour.

I was fortunate though, because no sooner had I got into the mall, than the skies opened and rain began to fall. I was tired, hungry and rain was falling; I couldn’t get any more miserable. I called Daniel to let him know I was at Shoprite, and he said I should hang around, that he would be there soon. I couldn’t believe it. This was somebody I feared would even call me while I was trekking to Shoprite to tell me he was already there and to ask where I was. And there I was, after an hour – and he “would soon be there”?


I had to wait. With what little money I had on me, I bought a small bowl of ice cream and whiled away time with it. Time ticked by. 5 pm. 5: 30 pm. 6 pm. 6: 30 pm. I was very upset. I was calling his number repeatedly, calls which he ignored. When he finally answered, he cut my rant by apologizing profusely, that he was sorry, telling me to instead charter a taxi to where he was. I couldn’t believe this guy. I was at my wit’s end. I snapped at him to just come and get me out of here, that I wasn’t about to take a taxi to anywhere!

“Baby, please, just take a taxi and meet me here… I will pay for the drop…Please…” he was still saying.

I cut off the call and stood there, frustrated, upset and considering my options. At this point, I was too mad at this guy to even see him anymore. But it was late and I didn’t have any money. I was for all intents and purposes stranded!

So I did what any stranded gay guy would do. First of all, I remembered that there was another guy I’d been chatting off and on with (let’s call him Benson) who also said he stayed in Enugu. He hadn’t ever invited me to come see him, so it had never crossed my mind to see him when I was making plans to come to Enugu. However, now that I was in a situation, I remembered him, and I called him. But to my dismay, his line didn’t go through. After several futile attempts, I gave up and logged onto Grindr instead and began a frantic search for anyone who could accommodate me for the night. After a few quick chats, I was lucky enough to find someone. Let’s say he’s Izu. He was very sweet and understanding, and gave me directions on how to get to his. Feeling very relieved, I left Shoprite for Izu’s place. I got there in a short while, and we got properly acquainted.

And then a few minutes after I’d gotten settled, Daniel called, saying he was coming to pick me up. I was too angry to say anything to him. I simply disconnected the call. Some two hours later, he called again to know where I was, that he was at Shoprite. Ladies and gentlemen, I checked the time. It was almost 10 pm. This guy actually expected me, someone he had invited to a different state, to hang around in a strange place, waiting for him for hours. I got into Enugu by past 3 and he was finally ready to see me by 10 pm?! Why are some people just wicked like this!

I told him I’d left Shoprite and that I was at a friend’s place, that I couldn’t just leave his house tonight. He became mad when he heard that I was at a friend’s place and began ranting on the phone. Izu, who I’d by the way already told everything about how I got to be in my predicament, took the phone from me to talk to Daniel and to promise that he would bring me to his place first thing the next morning.

But Daniel was apparently as done with me as I was with him. He said Izu shouldn’t bother and hung up. After awhile, I called him back. He was still upset and reiterated that I shouldn’t bother coming to see him the next day, that he wouldn’t be around. I just let it go and went to sleep.

The next morning was Saturday. Izu wanted to go see a friend and asked me to go with him. It was 8 am and I thought it was too early for a social call. Besides, I simply wanted to leave Enugu and go on home. But he’d been gracious enough to take me in the night before, so I couldn’t say no. He said he would take me to the park after our visit to his friend’s place. I agreed. So as we left, I took my things with me.

Upon getting outside, as we strolled down the road, everywhere seemed deserted even for a Saturday morning. He looked as bewildered by this as I was. Then he asked me if I knew what day it was. I said it was the 28th.

“Oh my god,” he gasped.

“What?” I said.

“We have to go back!” he said urgently and turned around.

Just then, a van swerved to a stop near us and three guys who looked like trouble jumped out. Without needing to be told, even before I heard Izu running, I turned and ran. I sped past Izu. The guys were hot on our heels. A strangled cry behind me told me they’d caught Izu. I was still running and two of them were still in hot pursuit.

I I ran for a while but it was hopeless because it was just a straight road, with no bends or bushes that I could run into to aid my escape. So I gave up and stopped. Besides I didn’t even know what I was running from. They came up to me and I asked what was going on. They identified themselves as environmental sanitation officers and my friend and I weren’t supposed to be out and about before 10 am on this last Saturday of the month. They marched me to their van where Izu had already been remanded, and soon, we were off to their station.

On our way, Izu called his aunt who is a barrister. Hearing him on the phone made me feel some relief. Help was on the way.

We got to the station for me to see other people that had been detained. We were all incarcerated, pending bail. As the hours ticked by, I started getting anxious. I thought Izu’s aunt would have been around soon enough to get us out of here, but apparently that wasn’t happening. Feeling like I should do something about our situation, I called Benson, you know, that other guy I knew who lives in Enugu. (I didn’t even bother with reaching out to the idiot, Daniel). This time, mercifully, Benson was reachable.  We talked and I explained my predicament to him. As the good human being that he was, he commiserated with me and told me to be calm, that he would come and get me. I began to feel so much better.

Sometime in the late morning, I suddenly noticed that Izu was no longer among us detainees. I called him to find out that his uncle had come and bailed him out. I couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t even bothered to involve me – this same guy who brought this problem upon us was just going to let me rot in here. Suddenly the guy who rescued me last night wasn’t looking so knight-in-shining-armour any longer.

Frantic now, I began calling Benson repeatedly. The worst thing that would happen to me would be for Benson to turn out to be another Daniel, another Izu. Enugu was seeming like it was full of guys who disappoint. Every time I called him however, he answered, always telling me to calm down, that he would come get me.

It was around noon that Benson called to tell me he was there. I nearly wept tears of relief as I learned that he had bailed me out. Freedom never felt so good as I stepped out to meet him. He asked me where I wanted to go. I told him to drop me off at anywhere I could withdraw money from an ATM. I just wanted to go home. He took me to Shoprite. I expected that he would drop me there and go his way, but he waited for me till I had gotten my money, and then drove me to the park. And all through the ride, he was full of empathy and encouragement, even after I’d told him the fuller story of how I came to be so stranded in Enugu.

And eventually, I got on a bus and was soon headed back to Nnewi. It was such good riddance to bad rubbish as we put Enugu behind us.

Despite what he did, I am still grateful to Izu for taking me in that night. But I am extra grateful to Benson for his help.

But as for Daniel, I wish his village witches will set a pot on fire and stir his destiny vigorously inside the pot. Nonsense!

Written by Franklin

Previous Lessons Learned From ‘She Called Me Woman’ (Entry 19)

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  1. Queen Blue Fox
    August 19, 08:02 Reply

    This is just too much to be happening to one person in a space of 24 hours. Sorry o.

  2. Mandy
    August 19, 08:14 Reply

    That Daniel is a real asshole!
    How can you invite someone into a different city where you are and just keep him waiting for hours. Even if he was busy, he should’ve made arrangements to excuse himself to get the guy. In this current gay clime of Nigeria, it’ll be callous to invite anyone anywhere and just leave him hanging. If na me, if for some reason I was brain-dead enough to wait for him to finally get me at Shoprite, I would definitely not put out. Like WTF! That night, we will sleep on his bed with no sex. Then I will steal my transport money from his wallet to go home the next day. Nonsense and idiots!

  3. Junchiriki
    August 19, 08:52 Reply

    Well, this story has my feelings mixed. I remember a not so similar, but similar Daniel from Owerri. Good riddance.

    Pele oh

  4. Tax
    August 19, 12:08 Reply

    might be nice to point out that at the moment you accepted to visit, the invitation was from you not him. And TBH, if your real life personality is as brash as you write, I’d be amazed anyone would want to be with you.

    • Delle
      August 19, 19:05 Reply

      Hi. I just want to let you know I think your stupidity is malignant.


      • Bee
        August 21, 21:55 Reply

        Looolllll. I can’t laugh this night, abeg.

    • Johnny
      August 22, 07:13 Reply

      Do you think through your boy pussy? Then your brain must have been fucked out.

  5. ROCK
    August 19, 12:12 Reply

    When it comes to online hook ups,I have SADLY discovered that there is no logic and no ethics.But there sure is a lot of drama and demented souls and confusion.
    I’m beginning to think being gay is a curse and being gay in Nigeria is a ……What’s worse than a curse?

  6. McDuke
    August 19, 12:16 Reply

    I’m surprised at you…seriously I’m amazed. Did this actually happen to you or it’s all fiction…cos if it actually happened then you should bury your head in shame. I dont understand how you people do this hook up thing ooo…I don’t just know, like people without brains. Many of you need something better doing rather than spending it on hook up apps cos that thing has a way of messing some of you up. You blamed everyone in this story but forgot to blame yourself for just being stupid. Anyway you’re lucky the so called Daniel disappointed you cos it might have just ended up being another kito story. Please young man grow the fucking up, get some brain, get busy and stop embarssing the lgbt community in Nigeria. This is just sad…smh!!!

    • Tax
      August 19, 12:28 Reply

      Totally agreed.
      Dude was trying to sound like a saint at the beginning. He didn’t want to visit because… But as soon as he got the chance, his ass caught fire and was on his way. Lucky he’s in a community that knows how to help otherwise he’d be ragging his way back to wherever hell he came from. What an ass!

      • Pink Panther
        August 19, 13:27 Reply

        Lol. What exactly is your grief, Tax? I’m genuinely curious to know. That he went for a hookup? Cos hooking up, whether inter state or outside state, is not a crime. And certainly doesn’t deserve recrimination from others.

        So exactly what has got you mad at the guy? I honestly want to know.

        • Keredim
          August 19, 14:16 Reply

          Hooking up may not be a crime, but going on an interstate hookup WITHOUT a back up plan, is sheer stupidity and should be punishable by law.

          • Pink Panther
            August 19, 14:24 Reply


            I know. That he let himself get stranded like that… I find that exasperating too.

            But it’s a mistake most young gay guys make. And the writer sounds as green as they come.

    • Higwe
      August 19, 15:16 Reply

      Why so harsh though ?
      Are you above mistakes ….clearly the dude is young and naive …
      This horrible experience can only make him stronger.

  7. Swan King
    August 19, 14:28 Reply

    Oh Daniel is such a wicked person.
    Even Izu, heartless.
    Benson is a knight in true shining armour.
    After we’ve blamed everyone, can U take responsibility for Ur actions/inactions? From where I am, a lot of this could have been avoided with a bit of foresight. I don’t know how U people do it, but I cannot go into a foreign land without having vex money that can get me a place to stay for at least a night.
    What do I know though?

  8. Gag
    August 20, 12:30 Reply

    I thought he said he didn’t have money, so where did the one in the account come from? Why didn’t he use that instead of waiting for the Daniel to give him another fare back home.

  9. Sucrescalada
    August 20, 14:16 Reply

    Oga u brought this to Ur self! U were plain stupid from start to finish! But sorry aha!

  10. Black Dynasty
    August 22, 21:15 Reply

    This was naive at best and foolish at worst. How in the world does one travel to a different state with no money to meet a stranger with hopes that he will take care of everything.

    People need to grow some sense and stop leaving tied to someone’s mercy/kindness.

    • Pankar
      August 22, 21:45 Reply

      How? You ask? He’s broke and likes fuck. Simple and regular in naija gay scenes

  11. Fabulous
    August 23, 01:01 Reply

    U must be a student of unizik nnewi campus

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