Okay, so this might seem like the usual ranting. Or maybe I have just been unfortunate in the game of love. Maybe I have been meeting the wrong set of people. Sometimes, I wonder if something is wrong with me. My friends tell me I am attracted to the lowest of the lows. Well, I am not here to bore you with stories of my search for love and affection. I want to share a trend that I noticed in the gaybourhood, one which has got me worried. Now, I don’t know if it only happens to me or it happens to others. I don’t know if it is a normalcy or something close to that. I am going to use the story of my encounter with three guys based in different states who I met via different sites to explain this social phenomenon.

There was Don Flabby.

What can I say about this guy? I met him on Badoo some weeks ago. I can’t really remember what attracted me to him, maybe his profile picture or something. His age was listed as 23, and he claimed he schools in Uni-Ilorin. We chatted for some days and decided to exchange BBM pins. We proceeded to BBM and chatted for some hours, and then days. At this time, I realized that the chemistry was not there and there was nothing much to talk about. It got to a point where we stopped chatting but communicated through Broadcast messages. After some weeks, he sent me a message; I was surprised by that. He asked me why I refused to reply his messages. I asked him if he was referring to the broadcast messages and he answered in the affirmative. He said he was in Lagos, and sent me his number, asking that I call him. I did, and we spoke for about thirty minutes. This was surprising. We communicated so well on the phone, to the point that I was intrigued afresh by our acquaintanceship. I began to think that perhaps I had finally found the one. He said he wanted to see me and I told him it could be planned. After ending the call, I was already walking on cloud nine.

Then he sent me a message on BBM and asked me to send him some money for his internet subscription because it was going to expire by midnight. When I saw the message, I rolled my eyes, unable to help the laugh that came from me at the brazen way he asked for the airtime. I simply replied, telling him I didn’t have any money at the moment.

There was also Don Flexy.

I met him in on Grindr and he is based in Abia. He is 21 or 22 and claimed he is a Fashion Designer and a student. I liked his profile on Grindr, and there was chemistry as we chatted. We proceeded to BBM and the first thing he told me was that he needed 100k to process his admission into a university in the East. Now, it was not as if he had gotten the admission; he just needed the money to bribe some people to help him get the admission. I told him I was broke, and couldn’t afford to give him such an amount even if I had it. 100k to give a stranger I might never meet? He started sending his nudes and I didn’t complain. After some days, he started pestering me about wanting to come and visit me. The way some guys ask to visit you, you would think the person had the money to pay for transport. This guy even told me that if he was to visit me, then I should be willing to part with money for airfare. While I was still catching my breath over that, he proceeded to ask me for money for data subscription, an amount he needed before noon of that day. I maintained that I don’t have the money.

We still chat. Oh, he just sent me a message and says he needs recharge card. He knows I’d say that I am at work, so, he added that I should see if I can send someone to help me buy it, adding a crying sticker to jerk at my heartstrings. He has this audacity because I have actually sent him recharge card before.

There was Don Dadda too.

Hmmm, this guy! Okay. So, I decided to go through my suggestion list on Facebook and I stumbled on his profile. Now, this guy is not that good looking, I won’t lie to anyone. He has the height, shape and the skin tone. What actually attracted me to him was the kind of pictures he’d uploaded. I sent him a message without sending him a request. We chatted for some time and I asked for his BBM pin or Whatsapp number. He gave me both. He is 26 and based in Port Harcourt. He said he is a model. When I started chatting with him on Whatsapp, he was cold. It was then I realized he was the ‘K’, ‘ya’, ‘aiite’, ‘u’ kind of guy. I don’t think he ever replied any of my messages with a sentence. So I stopped chatting with him and waited for the right time to delete him. A few days passed, and I got a message on Facebook from him. It was just a ‘Hi’. I hadn’t expected it, and so, I was surprised. I suspected he wanted something. I didn’t have to wait long to find out that I was right. During our conversation, he suddenly told me he needed me to send him 30k for a pageant he was preparing for. He said he needed 100k but he was asking others because he knew I couldn’t give him the 100k. He also made sure to add that he would be free during the upcoming weekend to visit me for us to have a good time. I sighed. Seriously! I gave him the same spiel I usually give about being broke and that I would get back to him. Since then, he has been pestering me.

I have just mentioned three cases. But I have lost count of the number of times people I’d just met online would start asking for airtime or money for subscription within the first 24 hours to 1 week of getting acquainted. Sometimes I give them when I have more than enough and just feel like being generous, especially when I perceive that they really do need the assistance. Other times, I just don’t. The problem here is that, when you don’t give them what they want, they’d stop chatting with you, read your messages and not reply. Some of them would say they want to come see you, and when you refuse – usually because they asked for the invite and are asking for the transport fare to come over as well – they’d get snappish with you. You begin to wonder when the sweet guy of some minutes ago turned into such a monster.

Now, don’t get it twisted. I am not against those who genuinely ask because they are in need. I can’t count the number of times I have obliged those who asked, but I am beginning to feel like it has become a game to some people. My grouse here is that, you know you don’t like someone, yet you still ask the person for stuffs because you think you have found your new ‘mugu’, perhaps because you’ve discerned that the person wears his emotions on his sleeve. He says he likes you and wants to be with you to be his; the first thing that comes to your mind is to ask him for something. Have you no shame? This is something that has become part of the LGBT community and I think it is very wrong. I know it is not limited to the LGBT community alone.

I also think that if you are gay for pay, then you should let the other party know from the onset so that the person would treat you like the gay gigolo you truly are. In fact, I have nothing against them because they always deliver (hello, Teffy durling!). I know the economy is hard at the moment, but you should not go around fleecing unsuspecting guys of their hard earned money. Most students one meets these days want to date a worker. I used to wonder why, but I guess the answer is not farfetched. Sometimes, you chat with some guys and they would ask if you can come and pick them or they want to know if you are driving to work; all they are concerned about is if you have a car. (No wonder DM’s market is selling very fast)

I once complained to a guy about the way guys place fiscal or material demands on acquaintanceships, and he asked if I wouldn’t take care of her, buy her stuffs and the like, if I had a girlfriend. I saw some sense in what he said. The key word here however is ‘girlfriend’; or ‘boyfriend’, as the case may be. Most of these guys are not loyal. They are not getting to know just you. They are not chatting with just that one person. They are actively getting to know a bunch of other potential targets for their avarice. They are constantly looking for the next guy to fleece.

Oftentimes I think I am just unlucky. When I was in my early twenties, I don’t remember asking anyone for money, not even when I was extremely broke. To even ask my father for money na wahala sef. I have nothing against being generous to whoever I’m in a relationship with. But some guys need to learn that there is more to life than using peddling your good looks for good fortune. Why not work on yourself and become a better person. You think you are young and hot, especially when you have 4,500 friends on Facebook and everyone wants your attention. You don’t meet guys if they are not willing to pay and take care of you; take you shopping and ship allowances into your bank account. Have you thought about what would happen in ten years if this is all you’re about? You would be in the same position of the person presently chatting with you, if not worse. Why not work on yourself and do right by yourself.

Written by Sinnex

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  1. wealth
    January 15, 06:34 Reply

    Great post,you’re so right. And it’s so annoying. And I’m sure it’s not an easy experience

  2. goldd1st
    January 15, 06:36 Reply

    Raising my glass. For dat ….thank u sooo much…now u made mi day…

  3. Tobby
    January 15, 06:40 Reply

    Wot with d Don’s? And I dnt know if am d only one but I hate asking pple I dnt know(meant not met nor have a really closeness with) for call card.

  4. Promise4all
    January 15, 07:09 Reply

    I actually hate the asking gifts from shags or potential shags, because it gives me a sense of irresponsibility. Not even.in the worst of my garri days in school, and I pray God to help me uphold this even after I finish schooling.

  5. Kenny
    January 15, 07:16 Reply

    Less than five minutes into this read I just knew it had to be Sinnex. Pele dear. It’s not a general phenomenon at least a lot of people don’t experience this regularly. It’s just the kind of people you meet. You might want to work on that.

  6. bruno
    January 15, 07:26 Reply

    to be frank, the type of people you keep meeting says more about you than it does about them

  7. kaytee
    January 15, 07:47 Reply

    a very good one. .. #applause#

  8. Max 2.0
    January 15, 07:55 Reply

    This post reeked of Sinnex from the start.
    You’re fishing in wrong waters honey…

    I’ve only had people ask me for stuff a couple of times.. And also how you present yourself matters a lot. When you start asking questions about whether they’re top or bottom and telling them how cute and sexy they are, they’ll take you for a horny mugu who can easily be swindled.

    Stop chatting up random people via grindr.. Make smart convo with people so they’ll know where they/you stand from the first day. And stop chasing after cheap thugs and school kids.

    • Mandy
      January 15, 08:21 Reply

      I totally agree with you, Max. The more your conversations with someone you’ve just met online revolves around you mooning over him n telling him how hot he is n having no real substance in it, if the guy’s a gold digger, the more he’ll have the presence of mind to ask you for money.
      I mean, honestly, who dares to open his mouth to ask a stranger for a sum as big as 20k upwards, if you’ve not somehow given him the vibe that he can ask and get away with it.

      • Brian Collins
        January 15, 08:25 Reply

        You also agree with the part where he put cheap thugs and school kids in the same sentence.

        • Pink Panther
          January 15, 08:31 Reply

          I happen to disagree with the school kids part. Whenever these arguments about how needy and opportunistic students are, I remember James and think of how he doesn’t fit that bill.

          • Max 2.0
            January 15, 08:53 Reply

            @PP, alot of stereotypes exist in the world and while most people don’t fit into them, it doesn’t make it a total lie.
            Example: Yoruba people are dirty and use too much oil and pepper too cook and have H and A factor.. They also don’t know the difference between S and Sh and V and F.

            Igbo’s have L and R factor and are considered (Igbotic) because of their accent, even though Yoruba’s and Hausa’s have accent too. They are mostly regarded as uncouth and rugged and only have eyes for money.
            All gay people are hoes and no one is loyal , all gay people like fashion and Beyonce.. They are all effeminate and swing their hips better than women. All Muslims are terrorists whose life goal is to wipe out all humanity with themsleves along so they’ll go to heaven.. Nigerians are uneducated and are all homophobic, they all still believe in juju and voodoo magic .
            Nigerian girls are lazy and only think of getting married to a man so they won’t have to work too hard.
            See where I’m going with this?


          • papasmurf
            January 15, 09:24 Reply

            Pinky dearie… When U’re right, then U’re right!
            By the way Pinky, I need help(of a different kind… No be recharge card abeg).
            Could U link me up with a. Doctor in the house? I’m here in Abuja, and I need medical advice.

    • Brian Collins
      January 15, 08:24 Reply

      Ehn Bia Max, when you say school kids do you mean people who are university students or young people who are university students? Either way, I think it’s stupid that you wrote something likelike “stay away from school kids”.

      • Dubem
        January 15, 08:33 Reply

        I think the question would be to ask Max if he’s describing who he was as a school kid.

      • Max 2.0
        January 15, 08:44 Reply

        School kids are immature and don’t know what they want in people or life in general. I’m not talking about a correlation between school kids and being cheap and needy thots. I for one as a school kid(Not that I’m dignifying your comment in any way @Dubem) didn’t ask people for money. However, What I found out at that age is that older people 25 and above only wanted to have sex with you because they take you for a naive dude Who’d easily bow to get laid. So that’s how I know Sinnex’ type, school kids are getting smarter by the day and wouldn’t want to fall victim to sexual predators.

        Oh and @Brian Collins, you can criticize a comment without being rude, you know well enough how its going to end if I choose to reply in kind, but in the spirit of the #KumbayaClan(screw u Tef), I’ll just look away this time.
        Nice day.

        • Brian Collins
          January 15, 08:55 Reply

          Uhm….you see how you write that school kids are immature and don’t know what they want in life and then proceed to not dignify Dubem comment, it kinda comes off as confused or more life hypocritical. That thing you wrote there was crap and you know it.
          And that you wanna ‘kumbaya’ doesn’t mean I won’t tell you how I feel.

          • Max 2.0
            January 15, 09:51 Reply

            Are you still in the university?? Because it seems my comment struck a chord.

        • Dubem
          January 15, 08:56 Reply

          How does the bit about the pressures older guys put on students to have sex correlate with your condescension on Sinnex to stop running around with them so he won’t keep falling victim to materialistic guys?
          You tried it with your explanation, but what you just said here has nothing to do with ‘…And stop chasing after cheap thugs and school kids.’

          • Brian Collins
            January 15, 09:18 Reply

            So because there are stereotypes and people use them frequently everyone should come up with their own anytime they feel like it? See justification na.

    • Terra
      January 15, 09:34 Reply

      Well, maybe he’s fishing in the wrong waters. But what about when you meet someone at a party, a man that’s pushing 40 and claims to have a good job, etc, that starts asking you for money for data subscription a week later. Yeah, there are some places that you’re more likely to find some people, but there are no real safe zones. In my experience actually, gold diggers aren’t even that many on grindr.

  9. ikhines
    January 15, 08:00 Reply

    I think this happens if you keep meeting straight guys you think are gay… to be honest this has never happened to me before so I think you have been meeting the wrong set of guys.

  10. Dickson Clement
    January 15, 08:03 Reply

    This post reminds me why I love this blog! Just yesterday, this sexy piece of chocolate I met on a social site and have been wasting my limited time wif over the phone, decided to ask for something. When the conversation took that turn, I already knew where it was going. I decided to go through with it , but the amount he demanded was 100 times bigger than what he claimed he wanted to do wif it! I just told him I couldn’t help him! I work my ass off to get every since penny, I can only spend it on something meaningful. I believe there will be a time when I’d have more than enough that I wouldn’t mind wasting it for some Fun!!! ”FUN” that’s what it is!!

  11. Kerr
    January 15, 08:07 Reply

    I think it’s basically the type of people you meet, or the impression you give the type of people you meet.

  12. Jamie
    January 15, 08:12 Reply

    Sinnex hit the right notes, you know!! But tell these kinda people to their face, and they’ll, with their quaint lingo or incorrigible writing, give you some good old abuse. Basic is, let your partner know if you’re ‘gay-for-pay’ pls…

  13. pete
    January 15, 08:15 Reply

    Reeked of Sinnex. Where do you meet these people?

  14. Mandy
    January 15, 08:17 Reply

    And really, how can you be walking in Teflondon’s shoes and still complain when the bad eggs are what you come across?

  15. Tobby
    January 15, 08:21 Reply

    Yesterday a guy added me up via whatsapp well I as a person I can be quite polite, I chatted a for a while with him so he could be relexed b4 I asked him how he got my no, only for him to tell me it doesn’t matter how he did nd it doesn’t stop us been friends. I was hello it does guy nd d next thing he said was “guy me nd u are tb so wots d big deal”. Right dia I told him gud night in a polite manner.

    • Pink Panther
      January 15, 08:28 Reply

      I get outrageous responses like that sometimes. And it makes me go, ‘Dude, are you fucking for real?’

      • Tobby
        January 15, 08:43 Reply

        As in I just didn’t know wot to say.

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 08:58 Reply

      I terminate their silly ass instantly… Nansense

    • Terra
      January 15, 09:37 Reply

      Of the things that some Nigerian gay people do, there are few things I hate more than that. Completely ridiculous.

  16. Johnnie
    January 15, 08:22 Reply

    when u won’t come for we ugly guys, you go after the goodies. Trying to buy more than your budget.
    As for me, I sound like a lowlife from poverty when I think of asking something from my date or bf. I don’t do that and people think you are proud. My bf sent me Tfare because I am coming to his place, it was like something should swallow. I didn’t want to look like a beggar.
    one day you ll meet a good guy, but u guys take good guys for granted. you think we are not wise and civilised

    • Delle
      January 15, 10:04 Reply

      I was trying my best no to wince from the pain I got trying to understand this comment. Hmm…it is a wa o

  17. Dubem
    January 15, 08:26 Reply

    Sometimes it’s not how you present yourself that attracts the opportunistic gay guys o. These gold-digger types, some of them will ask whether your conversation with them is intelligent or not, so long as they’ve perceived you to be someone worthwhile.

    Sinnex, I empathize with you. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. And when you’re young, hot and know it to the extent it gets to your head, the temptation is strong to be the dog that eats the dog with the money to take care of you.

  18. Brian Collins
    January 15, 09:14 Reply

    It is people like these three brothers that give students a very bad name. I don’t even get the part where someone says he wants to visit you and then goes on to ask you for airfare. Does Young Shall Grow Motors not have a terminal in his city?
    Sinnex, this trend is quite common and I have come to terms with it myself as a student. I would never pester someone to visit them if I couldn’t afford to foot the bill myself and would only ask for call card from real close friends if there was no other place I could get some.
    Just know that every student is not a materialistic, gold digger.

  19. Dennis Macaulay
    January 15, 09:33 Reply

    How do you know that Dennis has a car? Or that his “market is selling fast”?


    • Brian Collins
      January 15, 09:37 Reply

      All the driving to uniport you have been doing nko? And driving the Smile boy to your apartment? Need I say more?

      • Pink Panther
        January 15, 09:49 Reply

        Heheheheee. Brian, you needn’t say more. You’ve said it all.

    • KingBey
      January 15, 09:58 Reply

      When you will be making posts of you going to car wash and capturing hot boys. You think say we get dementia? Lol.

  20. Gayo
    January 15, 09:39 Reply

    Dubem, pls can I get you email? I’d like to ask a few questions.

  21. Chizzie
    January 15, 09:50 Reply

    It’s not an LGBT thing, it’s a Nigerian thing . Like you rightly pointed out, the economy is hard and there are really no jobs . If people had , they really wouldn’t have to ask .

    Now for some people asking comes easy, they’ve long sunk thier pride and now see it as a means of hustling , they’ve made an enterprise out of being dependent . It’s sad moreso if the person is a graduate, as with students its somewhat understandable.

    But for others, like myself , asking for help especially financial or material is extremely humiliating and i’d rather starve or steal than ask.

    Mostly because i feel it’s more shameful if a grown man can’t provide for his needs, and let’s face it, at the end of the day we are ALL men ! if another man can be successful you can too. As a man it’s in your place to be a breadwinner and to hustle and work hard !

    I’m glad am in a spot right now where I don’t have to worry abt data anymore , or transport money… or low quality selfies seeing as I just got myself a new phone *coughs*. All cause I decided I was too high maintenance to be a broke bitch and too proud to ask! So I desperately and relentlessly pursued how to make my own money and it’s paying off more than expected .

    Here’s the thing : If you can’t find a job, come up with creative ways to be self employed and stop begging for money!

    • Delle
      January 15, 10:02 Reply

      You’d rather steal than ask? *clears throat*
      Not quite sure I agree with that but, oh well, whatever paddles your canoe…

    • Chizzie
      January 15, 10:18 Reply

      Stealing is more commendable and honourable than begging, cause it requires guts. Where as anyone can beg, and it’s so degrading…

      The moment you do not make room for begging , is the moment you embrace ingenuity. So yes I’d rather steal than beg.

    • Wayfaring Stranger
      January 15, 12:07 Reply

      Lool we’ve been seeing your ‘handwork’ on Twitter. You’ve refused to do free ones for me. God dey. ☺☺

    • shuga chocolata
      January 15, 12:13 Reply

      Chizzie thanks for this comment.

      Sinnex just as someone likely wrote here, you need to RE-evaluate yourself. learn to say no when it matters.

      TEF hmmmmm, since you got his back💯 Nice.


    • Peak
      January 15, 14:07 Reply

      So we are advocating for thievery now? What every happen to making do with what you have?

  22. Delle
    January 15, 09:53 Reply

    I didn’t have to read two paragraphs to know who wrote this, lol. Well Sinnex, it’s quite a shame people see you more like a living ATM than a potential lover and I think it’s cause of the kinda guys that tickle your fancy. Those guys do not require ‘Don’ to be prefixed to their names, no, no, no! The word Don doesn’t stand for corporate beggars, last I checked.

    It’s become a new trend for these guys on social media. Looking for the most eligible individual to continuously zap. It’s wrong. On every level! I have a friend who knows and is proud of being a ‘gay for pay’, maybe if we bring moral jurisdiction into it, he’s also wrong but then again, who are we to judge the morals of a person? I’d rather you are upfront about your ‘begging’ prowess than deceiving yourself by saying you are a fashion designer, doctor and what have you. It makes no sense.

    Our ‘gaydom’ doesn’t have that good a name, adding scamming and incessant extortion to that isn’t cute. Any guy that asks for money for transport after a sexual romp is a Ratchet Whore. You don’t deserve to be treated with respect. Maybe if we learn to attach some pride and dignity to who we are, respect would come naturally!

    Good post, Sinnex. It’s about time ‘street urchins’ that parade themselves as gays get a reprimand.

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 10:07 Reply

      I’m more interested about what they chat about. Since Sinnex has an internalized homophobia that can be smelt from 2miles away and the fact that he doesn’t believe in love and dating/faithfulness between men, but believes in his lord Jesus Christ who is his personal lord and saviour who wipes his slate clean every sunday. I wonder what they chat about that leads to solicitation of funds.. I wonder…

    • lonz
      January 15, 23:54 Reply

      What if the dude cant afford the tdansport. He aint asking for anything else just tfare, that makes him a rachet whore?

  23. KingBey
    January 15, 09:53 Reply

    Lol. You will be on Grindr and Badoo 24/7 chasing boys and you are surprised you’re meeting gold diggers? “He who fetches an ant-infested firewood invites the lizard”. You can’t have your cake and eat it back. Why don’t you just stick to one guy and treat him right? It’s the same ass and dick at the end of the day but our crave for varieties wouldn’t let our hoely ass rest. The monies spent on different guys you keep meeting can be used to keep one person and have peace of mind with that person. You can’t have your cake and eat it.

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 10:09 Reply

      Touché @Kingbey, touché.. Even though you’re a hoe yourself, but Touché. ??.

      • KingBey
        January 15, 10:19 Reply

        Tell me something different. Lol. Tired of hearing I’m a hoe. ???

    • Bret Hart
      January 15, 11:22 Reply

      I think this comment does it for me………I absolutely agree. ……

    • Sinnex
      January 15, 12:56 Reply

      Will you be the Special One?

  24. Tobby
    January 15, 10:10 Reply

    I don’t think it happens to everyone guy

  25. Teflondon
    January 15, 10:16 Reply

    First off! Sinnex I don’t do gay guys. You know this quite well, you know my spec and you know quite well those I call Lowlifes or roughnecks aren’t thugs from the slums. They are regular good looking guys just like me and you Albeit not as financially buoyant. So let’s not create unneccesary misconceptions here.

    Secondly Sinnex, why do you like to always think the need to bring your troubling issues here on KD, this same people will later use this things against you. Or Atleast don’t be so open and revealing with your weakness and short comings. You can take a leaf from the king of make believes and sugar coat a bit. Reason I say this is because, some of your utterances are baffling and shouldnt be made known to complete stangers that you aren’t close with.

    Thirdly, most of what you mentioned above is not really a Gay thing, it’s a lowlife thing. Whether Gay or str8 you will keep meeting people like this…. It’s rampant everywhere, it’s not a new thing either.

    Sinnex you need to stop being totally open to total strangers. I remember when I added you to a watsapp group of plenty cute gay guys. I never chatted up anyone and those that sent me messages, I never replied.. Talkless of chatting up on the group.. But my dear Sinnex was having a filled day chatting up every Tom, Dick and Harry on the group and desperate to meet anyone and that is why you keep experiencing things like this. I’m sure you don’t even know I have left the group.

    Sinnex stop trying to meet anyone, everyone! Just stop for a minute! Just be yourself and let things flow naturally. You will eventually get what you want.
    I have loads to say but this is not the appropriate plays to continue. Not with the vultures flying around.

    You know I got your back always right? Like Am your number 1 fan. So keep calm and trust me.

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 10:42 Reply

      “They are regular good looking guys just like me and you ” ?????? who are you kidding?

      And you always have his back right? His bareback I guess? ??..

      In one comment, you managed to act nice to one person and trash him at the same time…

      • Teflondon
        January 15, 11:49 Reply

        *Singing El Dee D Don’s song*
        O ta mi o ni ya f’oko…

    • posh6666
      January 15, 10:57 Reply

      Honestly i have no shade in mind asking you this,but really how do u approach straight guys for sex? I mean do u just walk upto any guy on the street that u fancy and tell him lets fuck how much do u want? Plus isnt this ur way of life really dangerous and a potential kito/life threatening situation?

      Your 1st kito experience was as a result of something similar in which you were so embarrased about your family finding out your sexuality which hindered your trip abroad.Why do you still take such risks? Please i really want to know your thoughts tnx.

    • Sinnex
      January 15, 13:21 Reply

      There are a lot of things wrong with this comment that I don’t even know where to start from.

      The Sinnex in me would have just read this comment and totally ignored it, seeing that it was coming from you which doesn’t require my comment. If you notice I have not responded to your comments lately because they don’t really make sense. I have to read them more than once to even understand what you were driving at.

      You say you don’t meet guy guys but I will tell you that you are a pathological liar. Just because someone is manly, doesn’t mean the person is not gay.

      I recently reactivated my old gay themed Facebook account which I deactivated in 2012 and was surprised that this guy who doesn’t do gay guys would actually be soliciting for sex from a gay way back in 2012. If you need proof just let me know.

      I have nothing to hide. If you think what I penned down is not for public consumption then you have something wrong with your brain and it requires reformatting. I don’t need to plagiarise something so as to be the new cool.

      Thank God you acknowledged that virtually everything you say here are lies from the pit of hell, so I don’t need to comment on them.

      I don’t need to create a false impression about myself because I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have achieved what a lot of people can only dream of. I wish I could say the same about you.

      KD was created for us to share our stories, if everyone was as perfect as they claim they are, then there would be no need to have this blog.

      If I can’t be myself on a blog that is anonymous, is it on Facebook or nairaland that I would be?

      The funny thing is that you always make everything about you. You’d insult someone and say that you love the person. Have you no shame?

      Now, point of correction, I don’t meet guys. Most of my acquaintances online ends online. We have been chatting for over a year, yet, we have not spoken and we haven’t seen. That’s because I don’t meet people. Bringing the WhatsApp thingy here is just pathetic. What is the use of being in a group without commenting? God knows, if I was close to you I would have used a pin on you to make you reduce, it seems like excess fat is already affecting your brain, maybe by then you would have sense.

      The truth is that today is a beautiful day and I am in a very good place. You just cannot afford to kiss ass because others actually like the post, you just have to be different and Tef.

      I am still surprised that you would bring personal information to the blog. That was how you mentioned PP’s name here and I had to be the fool to be Zoro for you.

      Guy, if I start with you, trust me, you will commit suicide this night.

      • Delle
        January 15, 13:29 Reply

        You need a kiss hunnay!

      • Keredim
        January 15, 13:32 Reply

        This is why I can’t stay away from and love KD.

        The gift that keeps on giving.

        After 9 months (less sef) the thing that happened in the dark, begins to show.

        I thought they were friends o! That they actually met over Xmas…??

        And Sinnex was doing human (or was it animal) rights lawyer for Tef, when the latter was blocked a few months back???

        Negodi!! Who needs Netflix when you have KD?


        • Max 2.0
          January 15, 14:28 Reply

          @Keredim, pls reserve a spot for me in the front row.. I’m coming with tea cup, hope you have sugar..

          This should be fun??

          • Keredim
            January 15, 15:49 Reply

            @Max, I have stopped taking sugar. You know I am “close to the grave” ?, so the Doctor said to lay off it.

            But I doubt there will be fireworks.

            One of them is seriously “back channelling” now to save face. And it’s not the circumferentially challenged one.?

            • Pink Panther
              January 15, 16:15 Reply

              A stab in the back can cause a back channeling for Africa, Keredim.

      • posh6666
        January 15, 14:39 Reply

        Yasssssss hunnay go in on Tef…..read him for the filth he is……drag him hunny! Sinnex one thing is clear this guy Teflondon isnt your friend,he will stab you in the back then twist and turn the knife while your blood drips,he just actually painted you like a loser in the front of the whole world who is so thirsty for love and sex…Abeg stay very very far away from him no matter the lies he tries to cook up in private to explain what he just did he is wrong!

      • Theo
        January 15, 15:05 Reply

        “God knows, if I was close to you I would have used a pin on you to make you reduce, it seems like excess fat is already affecting your brain, maybe by then you would have sense.”

        Oh Sinnex!!! this actually killed me.

      • Pink Panther
        January 15, 16:17 Reply

        ‘I don’t need to create a false impression about myself because I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have achieved what a lot of people can only dream of. I wish I could say the same about you.

        KD was created for us to share our stories, if everyone was as perfect as they claim they are, then there would be no need to have this blog.’

        This is where I considered making Sinnex my new BFF. 😀

        • Max 2.0
          January 15, 16:48 Reply

          I hope it endeds with “consideration”.. People with IH aren’t allowed into our Illuminati agenda group…

      • Eggsy
        February 29, 00:22 Reply

        Abegi nna chop knuckle! Or dick. Whichever you desire.

    • Peak
      January 15, 14:19 Reply

      “Sinnex you need to stop being totally open to total strangers. I remember when I added you to a watsapp group of plenty cute gay guys. I never chatted up anyone and those that sent me messages, I never replied.. Talkless of chatting up on the group.. But my dear Sinnex was having a filled day chatting up every Tom, Dick and Harry on the group and desperate to meet anyone and that is why you keep experiencing things like this. I’m sure you don’t even know I have left the group.”

      You sure as hell got his back, if spilling more tea about his business and making him seem like a dehydrated hoe is ur idea of having hid back, then you are doing one helluva job.reading above, I cant help but wonder who the real vulture is, the “total strangers or the #1 fan.

  26. KingBey
    January 15, 10:18 Reply

    So I had a typical case a few days back. I met him on Badoo, he’s about 23, he stays about 20km away. A distance that will take him about #800 to and fro. So we arranged to hook up. He pointed out he doesn’t have enough transport fare to come and go back…I told him I will assist with that. He came, we had sex….about three rounds actually. Good sex I must say….enjoyed by both of us. Then when he was about leaving, I gave him 1k which was about the only cash on me that afternoon. He gladly collected it and I saw him off. Then few hours later, I got a message on whatsapp and it was him….” I’m very angry with you right now and I don’t want to ever see you again”. I was surprised and insisted yo know the cause of his sudden outburst and he said I should know better. The. I figured out he was angry at the 1k and expected more. But that was enough for your tfare na. Lekwanum eshishi? Thank god pikin no start drama for house. I for throw am comot from balcony. Mbok ! Two days ago, he said Hi and subsequently asked for airtime. I sent him 400 mtn. And he’s been sending Hi’s and Hello’s since then….I just ignore am. I can’t deal biko ! There was this one I met late last year, after a good shag, I gave just about his transport fare. Dude got home, and sent me a very long insulting sms attached with a recharge card equivalent to the money I gave him. Lmao ! He said I insulted him by giving him that amount. Oh church ! Things I see in this Lagos eehnnn. ???

    • Gayo
      January 15, 10:46 Reply

      KingBey no complaints there, his ego got you back your money. If he thought it was belittling he shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. If someone even tries to give you money that’ll take you back to your house isn’t that gracious enough.
      I met some guy sometime ago in PH and he invited me to his place around Oyigbo which is pretty far from D-line, where I lived at the time. I was really young then and always had plenty money so I didn’t care. We had great sex and then next morning he saw me off to the bus stop and called a bike for me, bargained the fare and waved me good bye. It was when I told a friend that he said that this person was notorious for bargaining fares for people. I didn’t see it as anything at the time but I reasoned some people would a felt that it would have been appropriate for him to give me tfare back home as I was 17 and he was about 29 and working class.

      • KingBey
        January 17, 06:27 Reply

        D-line to Oyigbo….Omo that’s a distance oooo. And a grown ass man couldn’t give a boy of 17 tfare even if its 500. Na wah. Some people get mind sha. His type in Lagos should get ready to wear kito everyday. If you want young cakes, keep their transport. It’s the number one rule here. Lol

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 10:48 Reply

      Keep fucking young hoes and you’ll keep getting such. The older you get, the worse, because then they’ll start throwing jabs about your age. Oh and also when you get to thirty something, you won’t be able to meet anyone if you don’t have money to spend.

            • Max 2.0
              January 15, 12:18 Reply

              You’re not that old? You look like an unlce/aunty (whichever one you like to be referred to) ??

  27. Pollyanna Nwachineke
    January 15, 10:27 Reply

    This is a very thought provoking article. It is well written and properly structured.

    The comments as well are very nice.

    Well done to the author and the commenters.

    I like it

  28. Khaleesi
    January 15, 11:19 Reply

    Nice piece Sinnex, but i think it all boils down to the type of men you are attracted to. I guess you are drawn to young, twinky, needy types … if thats what catches your eyes, then I guess you have to take that demographic with all it brings … but yeah, there are so many greedy guys in the gaybourhood … a huge turn off for me … and you’re right, many of these creeps fail to realise that looks fade, if you dont work on your intellect and personality, you truly do have nothing …

  29. Wayfaring Stranger
    January 15, 11:19 Reply

    Whoa. This is good stuff coming from you, Sinnex.
    I managed to escape this sort of awkward situation with an online friend last night.
    Plus I have a couple acquaintance that are in the habit of doing this to people that like them. I certainly need to cut them off.

  30. Hema
    January 15, 11:41 Reply

    I really don’t understand why everyone here is attacking Sinnex. Maybe it’s because a lot of us have been doing underground hookups so much so that we now know people’s identities here.
    So much for the anonymity.
    Another reason why many people will be reluctant to share their experiences on the blog.
    We’re all acting like most of us have never experienced the regular stranger asking for airtime.
    Truth be told, most of us who are above 25 and have a paying job, have experienced this transport-and-airtime brouhaha.
    I paid 2 people’s school fees last year, I have sent countless airtime and I have sent money to acquaintances but this is to people who I feel really need it.
    I would never send anyone money to come visit me.
    The best thing that can happen to anyone is to find that one person who means the world to you, and stick to the person.
    I don’t ever solicit for sex online or offline and I’m not active on any gay hookup site. Pinky can attest to this.
    Not all students are cheap and looking to fleece people of their hard-earned money. Some of us worked while in school to avoid asking even our parents for money.
    Let us always tackle issues brought here and leave the persona of the person out of it, at least TRY.
    Dennis, we all know that you drive by the way.
    Teflondon is one person that has guts though, swimming through the murky waters of Lagos’ toughest.
    Happy Friday Brothers!

  31. Wytem
    January 15, 12:09 Reply

    Is there a particular reason for turning this post round to sinnex? He made a valid observation!

  32. Chuck
    January 15, 13:03 Reply

    I’m definitely on the “don’t pay for sex” train. Those boys might be having raw sex with their other customers. Condoms don’t prevent Herpes transmission.

    Several Nigerians have odd behavioral tics online. I’ve been on manjam for more than 10 years, and seen many come and go. The other day a guy sent me his bbm pin, after I added him and introduced myself, he complained that I wasn’t driving the conversation. I pointed out that he initiated our contact, after which he was embarrtassed and his hypocrisy exposed. I always take my time. The ones who are in a hurry are likely to trip and fall.

  33. Peak
    January 15, 14:04 Reply

    I’d like to start by say to sinnex and anybody who might find what I’m about to put forward offensive, high-handed, mean or rude. This is coming from a sincere and artless place. I’m saying this like I would say it to any close friend of mine who by chance find himself in this kind of situation.

    A good number of things stuck out while reading this

    Low self esteem: sorry love, but one thing that plagues a lot of gay people and invariably cripples their sense of reasoning is the problem of low self esteem. Nothing screams low self esteem to the high heavens when u think you have to buy someone’s affection and attention. If he is not dancing to ur tune, cut him off. Its that simple. Love urself! Stop letting ppl make u feel inadequate or small to the point where u have to crack open ur wallet to meet up. Stop selling urself short. They would dump ur ass the day the money stops flowing or u say no. I have always live by one rule in my life (and maybe I would die single and alone cos of this rule) “if it’s not mutual, then I don’t want it”

    Sex(usually cheap): lets face it, everybody want a quick turn on the jolly ride and some ppl have found a way to profit from it. If you search within urself and allow urself a peek into the real reason why you wanted them, you would realise that sex ranked high on the list. I have experimented with this dating apps/site (MJ and Grindr). Grindr is like my guilty pleasure these days. Its where I go when I am super bored and not in the mood to chat with my regular friends, and I don’t mean to over generalise, but everybody and their mothers wants quick sex. Nobody wants to be online and discuss life, sexuality or anything with u. They can tolerate small talks and a few pokes at their brains before they get bored after realising you a “time waster” (a word I learnt last week, which means someone who doesn’t know what he wants =SEX)

    Know ur worth: The fact that you had to cite Dennis and a car as the reason for influx of admirers says you don’t know your wortt in “gay meat market”(no shade).

    Fishing in the wrong pool/bad luck: as much as I’m tempted to toe the “you are what you attract argument, I’d just settle for unluck and fishing in soiled pool.

    As for some of us who are busy advocating for “gay alms practices”, there is such a thing as being contented with what you have. My parents thought me that. Maybe if we are contented with we have and workhard (in the moral sense) for what we dont, but deperately want, then we wouldn’t have this epidemic on our hands. Lets learn to call out bad behaviour for what it really is BAD!

    Troubling experiences, but I seriously think you need to make some changes and it starts with you.
    Good luck.

    • Max 2.0
      January 15, 14:23 Reply

      Preach Reverend Peak, preach!!!.. I’m a life member of your ministry..

    • posh6666
      January 15, 14:30 Reply

      Lol the drama never ends on this blog.Some are just too perfect they have never made mistakes nor can they be open minded enough to learn from someone else’s mistake,some are just waiting for an article to be posted so they can read the writer and his looks for filth,while some claim to be besties yet spill teas even an enemy wont….This group has the drama of real housewives of atlanta and rupaul’s drag race untucked both combined together.

    • Sinnex
      January 15, 14:34 Reply

      “Know ur worth: The fact that you had to cite Dennis and a car as the reason for influx of admirers says you don’t know your wortt in “gay meat market”(no shade).”
      I was actually nodding while reading your comment, until I got to this point…you sure don’t have a sense humour.

  34. chalant
    January 15, 15:10 Reply

    all this guy forming, its how yhu present yhur self that matters, gays are known for 3 things, sex,materialism and sex. dude it has nothing to do with how yhu present yhur self,its either yhur a walking money bag “older”, or yhur a hot hunky chap ” younger vias sexy/cute”, we gays scream for love alot, but the truth is we are all into using people to fill our insecurity or need, if yhu financially buoyant “yhu dont need another mans cash,sex probably yhur thing or if yhu deceive yhur self well enough yhu scream love”, but if yhur fortunate not to be buoyant ” money mongering is yhur thing,yhu prey on the gullible ones ,those yhu can play there lust against “. have met people way older than me tryna play games on me,sometimes they may truly need help,and I help out,am a kid literally, where does presentation fit in here?, 80% depends on the typa relationship yhu have with a person that determines whether yhu gonna help or not.

    my point is sinnex yhu are a walking money bag, for two reasons 1.yhu are working class and kinda like to flaunt yhurself in suit ” yhu look good in em duo”.

    2.yhu have a preference for younger guyz, and kinda like small boys, that puts yhu in a spots always, its not about age,it’s about appearing opportunist .

    this is 9ja ,gays here ain’t pure.

    I have a preference for straight chubby guyz, the kick back of my preference is, am always after the relatively unavailable, the emotional unavailable. as a gay dude, it ain’t my fault I can trip for a guy down to my bones,its also not their fault they dont feel the same /at least dont wanna feel.

    yhu sinnex look matured and responsible, plus deep every lame ass smart fool would definitely wanna talk advantage.

    • Teflondon
      January 15, 15:40 Reply

      you have got nothing on Posh…
      Posh 2.0 perhaps?

      • posh6666
        January 15, 15:55 Reply

        Lmao you shameless mistake of a man so you still have mouth to talk? After what you just did to a so called friend of yours? You are a very disgusting human being and should be very ashamed of yourself.You know that saying about how silence is golden? Yea you should apply that right now big for nothing oshi omo jati jati,elese osi meji,were alasho….

        • iamcoy
          January 15, 17:25 Reply

          Posh i really must commend you for heeding advice and making your comments a delight to read. Great stuff from you Barrister

          • Brian Collins
            January 15, 19:06 Reply

            I hate you for being the one to point that out. I wanted the honour. The improvement is immense.

  35. Marc Francis of Chelsea
    January 15, 17:37 Reply

    It’s not just thugs and school kids. When I meet someone and they ask me to list the kind of guys I’m into, I start with independent because I am not gibing you a dime. This was until I dated the NEEDIEST man in Lagos. He had a great job, car, flat close to me and everything so I though ah this one is sane. Only for him to call me everyday for one favour or the other. From help me sit in my flat while work is done, to help me buy cupcakes for my office people, to help me take my gateman to your house to fetch water. Needless to say after a few week of running errands I quickly realised he was after a houseboy and not a boyfriend and left him there. The worst part is you’d be doing the favour and he’d say you’re “carrying face” as you’re helping him or you “sound funny” so you’re not interested in helping him and get angry.

    Anyhoo, stay away from anyone who cannot support himself/has no means of support. I don’t care how dim your sob story is, I am not Richard Gere and Julia Robert you are not.

  36. sensei
    January 15, 18:02 Reply

    Hahaha! Na wah. So much drama. I don’t know Sinnex personally so I can’t say if there is something about him that attracts this sort. But I really wonder why all the attack on his person had to happen? Totally unnecessary.

  37. Chizzie
    January 15, 19:52 Reply

    Went through all the comments and have to say, it was the perfect comic relief I needed. Especially Sinnex’s reply to Tef. Lool . Gold!

  38. Eddie
    January 16, 08:22 Reply

    When I started really exploring my sexuality, I had this really naive mentality that any guy who said he loved me meant it….Boy! I was such a hopeless romantic back then…well,after sex, they just disappear and quit picking my calls and all that…. felt really used….Now back to the matter, I’m of the school of thought that believes most of these “golddiggers” probably think every other person just wants sex and since they don’t want heartbreak then they might as well get paid for it in the long run….a phenomenon not peculiar to the “gaybourhood”,mind y’all…..straight niggas and sisters be complaining on the regular….just saying sha

  39. peaches
    January 17, 08:53 Reply

    That second abia boy is just a huge thief!, my mouth cannot close after reading that part. chineke e!. And to think he is based in my abia. that state that even d devil has forgotten, owu will ‘jide ya’ very soon. Be asking for sub money n flight fare n money to buy provision for ur village pple oshi, u shlda tld him to pay ur brideprice. #marketspoilers

  40. Lothario
    January 17, 10:54 Reply

    Sinnex dear, I don’t know the rest, but you see Don Flex in Abia, run far away! He’s just a needy bitch and you can do without all that load in your life.

    OAN I really don’t think you’re to blame for this mess, the younger gay guys are mostly a messy bunch, don’t feel responsible for their stupidity…. You’ll be fine!

  41. Zizi
    June 11, 14:12 Reply

    Nice post. It’s kinda annoying the way some gays now take this gay life as a business. I met someone who told me that if he comes to my house I shud be ready to give him at least 3k before he leaves. I had to ask him if he is a prostitute. I for one thinks friendship shud b paramount but unfortunately, someppl think money shud b paramount.

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