So I have this family friend, I will call him Alex. I look up to him as my big brother because of the way our parents relate.

In August 2014, he was in the UK for his Masters. I decided to call him up to see about visiting him.

Big bro, sup? I for like show your area oh.

Sure man, you can come over.

And just like that, I started planning my weekend in Coventry. At about 12pm Friday afternoon, I arrived Coventry and found my way to his apartment. We exchanged pleasantries and hung out with food and movies. And then it was 11pm, and that conversation, you know, the one you don’t know how it came about, it came up.

“So I heard you were gay in high school, is it true?” he asked.

The question was so random, I was briefly startled. And then, acting on instinct, I let my eyes idly run over his body down to his groin. And the region that was once flat was now barely concealing a cassava-sized bulge that he was trying to hide.

Instantly I found myself drifting with my thoughts of how that cassava would feel in my hands, how it would taste in my mouth. I was so momentarily carried away that I didn’t hear when he reiterated the question.

“Hello?” he said.

I snapped into the present and said offhandedly, “That was boarding school life joor. Let’s leave that talk.”

“So,” he said, “if I asked you to suck my dick now, you will say no?”

My throat instantly became dry. I started wanting water because, man, the room was hot and I was thirsty as fuck.

My reply came in a very slow and quiet tone, “I don’t know o. Would you want a guy to suck your dick?”

And promptly, he whipped out this huge hotness of a dick, and at his request, I pounced on it like a five-year-old given a candy stick. I sucked and teased and sucked, and he moaned and moaned and pushed it into my mouth deeper and deeper, until he came after a long twenty minutes. He came in my mouth, a hot jet of his seed, and like a pro, I sucked him dry.

What happened next startled me more than him bringing up the question of my homosexuality.

The next thing I heard from him was an explosive, “Shit! Whaddafuck! First of all, don’t ever try this with me again. Shit, this is fucked up, man! So this is the shit you guys do? Disgusting, man! Just go wash your mouth and sleep.”

I’d never felt such a mix of embarrassment and anger like I felt then. I stomped off to bed and eventually dropped off into a sleep that was restless with annoyance. Later in the night, I woke up with a hard-on and the need for some sexual gratification. I was getting ready to wank, when Alex woke up and caught me out.

It was a brief moment of awkwardness, and then he said, “So you’re trying to seduce me now, abi? So if I should ask you to bend over let me fuck you, you will say yes? You are mad. In short, tomorrow, start going back to Ipswich.”

If I thought it wasn’t possible to get angrier than I was earlier, the emotion that coursed through me then proved me wrong. I was so angry that I ended up just showering instead of wanking. And as early as 6am, I was out of his house. By the time I got home, I noticed he had blocked me on all social media platforms.

Good riddance, I thought to myself.

Two years later, I returned to Nigeria, and his parents asked me over to their house in Lagos. He was there, apparently back to Nigeria; but there was a lot of banter with his parents present for me to dwell on the fiasco of two years ago. And then, he was giving me his number, saying he’s into photography, and seeing as I’m into professional modelling, I might need his services.

And this guy is hot. So as I took his number, instead of feeling any residual resentment, I was rejoicing inwardly, like, thank God we’re cool again. It wasn’t like I was relieved due to any sexual attraction. No. I was simply glad we could go back to being friends again.

We didn’t get to see again for awhile because I returned to UK and he had taken up residence in Port Harcourt. Then I visited Nigeria again this year, and I called him up.

Hey bro, I would love to stay at yours when I come to PH, because I don’t want my folks to know just yet that i’m back.

Oh sure, you can stay at mine. How many days though?

A day or two as I have some errands I would not want my folks to distract me from.

I got into Port Harcourt late, and got to his place by 11pm. After the usual pleasantries, I went straight to shower. When I got out, I noticed his restlessness. I also noticed the cassava was back, even though he was trying unsuccessfully to hide it. I ignored him and went to the bed with every intention of dropping off to sleep.

Five minutes after I was all snuggled up, he came over and took up my laptop. “Hey,” he began as he dropped to the floor, “I want to see what’s on your laptop. Can you come and open it for me?”

I got up from the bed and slid to the floor next to him. I typed in my password and let him in. As this was going on, I could see the cassava, and it could see me. It was silently calling my name, begging to be sucked. I ignored it and went back up to the bed, taking up a vantage position that’d allow me see whatever he was seeing on my laptop.

It wasn’t long before he happened on the folder containing my nude photos. A breathless moment passed as I watched him look at the pics. Then he turned to me, his expression slightly feverish, and said in a hoarse voice, “I thought you would have outgrown this by now.”

I didn’t respond to that.

Then he rose and the cassava was jutting out in its full glory. And in a konji-weakened voice, he said, “Please suck it.”

See me that didn’t want him sexually but as a friend o! I was like, yes please. And I was reaching for that turgid gorgeousness and sucking him like he was the best-tasting lollipop ever. I sucked and sucked, and he was moaning and chuckling and moaning; there was such giddy passion etched on his face.

He was spread out on the bed. I stopped fellating him long enough to fetch my lube and oil the cassava nicely, before proceeding to straddle him.

“I haven’t done this before,” he rasped.

I shushed him before going ahead to take him inside my ass. He cried out as his dick encountered my warm inside. Then I began bouncing on him like some fat-assed girl twerking. I rode his dick like the pro that I am, and he was gasping and groaning with pleasure.

Some minutes later, he was gasping, “I’m coming… I’m coming… Please, your mouth… Your mouth please…”

I got off him and took him into my mouth, every inch of him until he was exploding inside my mouth, trembling violently as I sucked him dry.

And in a flash, he was indignant again. “Shit, not again!” he spluttered in anger. “How do you even enjoy this thing? I thought you would have outgrown this.”

In the UK, I was rendered speechless by my anger. This time, I shut him down with a snappish “Boy bye!” And went back to bed.

I soon slept off, but I was not to be allowed to rest. At about 2am, someone was shaking me awake.

“Wake up, wake up…”

I opened my eyes to see Alex on the bed beside me, his cassava up and at attention.

“Please suck it,” he said.

You have got to be kidding me! I thought.

“Hell no!” I snapped. “Go and sleep!”

He promptly began begging, really begging, like his life depended on him getting off right there and then.

I really wasn’t going to oblige him. But then I thought to myself: I hadn’t cum the first time, so maybe now I should use him for a change.

And so, I found myself sucking him. I really worked his dick, teased him and then deep-throated him. And he kept moaning and chuckling, like he was enjoying a mental joke from the blow-job.

Then I pushed him down on the bed and held him down. I took his nipples in my mouth and nibbled. He groaned with gasping delight. Then I ran my tongue from his nipples to this abs, down to his waistline, and back to his dick and balls. He jerked and moaned and laughed. And then I was back on top of him, riding his dick. And he was crying out and shushing me at the same time. It was a weird reaction to pleasure, and as he kept crying out and telling me, “The neighbours… Please, the neighbours…” I replied, “You’re the one making noise, babe.”

“Don’t call me that,” he said sharply. “Just continue.” And moments later: “I’m about to cum. Please, your mouth…”

And I was like, “Hold it, let me cum first.”

And I began stroking myself while I bounced on him. I was very close before he began spasming and groaning, his dick pulsating in my ass. He had come.

And predictably, his anger came swiftly. “What the fuck!” he growled. “Get off me! I will slap you now!”

I ignored him, and remained on top of him while I wanked myself past the finish line. I came, and then I climbed off him. After I cleaned up, I turned to him with cold fury in my eyes and said, “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again.”

He shot back, “I don’t do this thing you do. I am just allowing you to do what you want so you won’t feel bad. That’s why I am just allowing you. If you want, I will allow you, but don’t think for a second that this is what I do.”

I gaped at him, like, are you serious! Then I hissed, “Such stupidity!”

Eventually, we went back to sleep.

And then, around 5.30am, a voice pulled me up from my slumber. A voice softly saying: “Are you asleep?”

Good God in heaven!

I turned to face him, sleepy outrage etched on my face. “What is the matter with you?”

He smiled ruefully, and looked very sumptuous doing so. “I am doing this for you o,” he said, “punishment so you will get tired.”

“How does that even make sense?” I retorted.

“Please,” he begged, moving his body so I could see the cassava. “Suck it.”

His juju must’ve been strong. Or maybe I’m just a hoe in love with harvesting cassava. Whichever was the case, I was soon down south of him, licking and teasing and sucking him. This time, I flipped him around and went to town on his cakes, eating his ass until he was crying out with his sheer enjoyment of the rimming.

When he came, I braced myself for his usual drama, his theatrics that are a study in denial. But that didn’t happen. He was oddly subdued, mellow.

And just before we went back to sleep, he said, “You know, unlike the last time in Coventry that I asked you to leave right the next day, this time, you can leave whenever you want. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“Thanks, but I’m leaving this morning,” I returned.

He gave me a startled, almost-alarmed look. “But I thought you said you’d stay for two days.”

“I changed my mind,” I said and went back to sleep.

Written by King Africa


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  1. Jo
    February 10, 06:33 Reply

    This is some weird shit…

  2. Dimkpa
    February 10, 07:03 Reply

    King Africa you are one long suffering, horny dude.
    My heart goes out to your twisted friend #IH #cognitivedissonance #dudeneedstowiththeprogram #justliveyourlife

  3. Lorde
    February 10, 09:07 Reply

    Tell that your friend I said he needs professional psychiatric help, he should show up in Upth….id take him as one of my cases…#winkwink

  4. WhoIsUgo
    February 10, 09:29 Reply

    Lmaoo, this guy is a psycho! ‘If you want, I will allow you, but don’t think for a second that this is what I do.’

  5. beejay
    February 10, 10:09 Reply

    I was having a rather dour morning, but this? It just cracked me the f up!!!

  6. Mandy
    February 10, 10:14 Reply

    Please suck it. ?????
    Oh that killed me every time.

  7. ambivalentone
    February 10, 10:19 Reply

    I get where you’re coming from jare. Your errands would take second place with all that distraction.???

  8. simba
    February 10, 10:43 Reply

    i need that ur friend contact……wink wink

  9. Kenny
    February 10, 11:24 Reply

    The friend is psycho quite alright but King Africa, you sef you have issues… . subjecting yourself to his B.S ??

  10. JamJam
    February 10, 14:08 Reply

    You cannot blame King. The mouth wants what it wants.

  11. Bain
    February 10, 14:17 Reply

    I know a guy like this… I hate his attitude,but his juju is just too strong…

  12. Dickson' clement
    February 10, 14:48 Reply

    I see a whole level of maturity and understanding In this write up, for the very fact you indulged him the whole time shows it is not just about the cassava…

  13. Delle
    February 10, 15:17 Reply

    Pls o, lemme coman laugh! This was so hilarious

  14. Duke
    February 10, 15:47 Reply

    Ok, This is some weird scary shit. Lmaooo

  15. Nel
    February 10, 19:22 Reply

    Reminds me of some crazy ass guy that isn’t “gay” but wanted ass. Only difference was he begged all night but got none.

    Self righteous biatches

  16. Francis
    February 10, 22:51 Reply

    ?????? you get mind go back sha. Konji is a bastard. Ain’t no way person wee make me feel like a freak of nature after sex and I’ll keep going back. S&M is not my thing biko.

  17. Irish...
    February 11, 02:53 Reply

    good thing is he didn’t pray and condemn you to hell, then tell you to suck it again! all these IH guys, can’t deal biko. the interesting part? they’re mostly always hot!

  18. Vin
    February 11, 03:47 Reply

    I was really surprised by the ending…

  19. King Africa
    February 12, 07:27 Reply

    Hahahahahahaha at the comments @dickson clement, I think I might love him I don’t know or have a very strong crush

  20. Gabriella
    February 16, 23:08 Reply

    Ok like SERIOUSLY, something is wrong with the guy.

  21. Tariq
    January 29, 17:02 Reply


    And a nice write….

    Got me laughing ..

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