I have a best friend and his name is Dominic (for the purpose of this story). Both Dominic and I are friends with this other guy, Wilson. I met Wilson through Dominic when we were in the university and we got along very quick. I attended a private university where everyone knew everyone, and for that, I tried very hard to stay properly sheltered in my closet. However, something must have given me away because Wilson up and asked me one day if I was gay. We’d become good friends at this point, and I answered in affirmation. His response to this was weird; he said he’d always wanted to be gay but to no avail. He said he liked the fact that “gay people are a rare species” and that he loves rare people. Anyway, all in all, he was supportive and said he would always be there for me. As a result of this, our friendship got stronger.
Fast forward to my birthday in April, and Wilson was encouraging me to come out to Dominic, because he believed Dominic knowing the real me would strengthen my friendship with him all the more. I declined though, saying I would do that when Dominic leaves the country as he is planning to in July.
I’d actually thought about coming out to Dominic; he is after all my best friend. But for some reason, even though I didn’t know his views on LGBT issues, I’d always been hesitant.
But I would soon get to know exactly how Dominic felt about my kind.
Yesterday, he called me to tell me how pissed he was upon discovering that his gym partner (Dominic is a body builder) is gay. I asked him how he got to know this and Dominic told me the story. Apparently, this guy (let’s call him Andrew) had been hitting on another gym buddy of theirs (let’s call this other one Jamie), wanting to hook up with Jamie. The fact that Andrew was apparently into guys wasn’t the only thing that had Jamie shook; it was that Andre was into guys – and also a vocal homophobe, always expressing his bitter anger against gays and talking about how he would kill anyone of them he finds. Jamie decided to tell Dominic about this, talking about how he believes Andrew is being homophobic to hide his insecurities about his own homosexuality and shift whatever suspicion anyone may have about him from him.
But then, the person Jamie was talking to was also himself a homophobe. Because Dominic was now on the phone with me, very upset, talmabout how a fine, young, muscular guy like Andrew would prefer men to women. He even sent me a picture for me to see what Andrew looked like, and DAMN! Andrew was hot! I was even tempted to ask him for Andrew’s number on the pretext that I wanted to help lead him to restoration. Lol.
Anyway, it turned out that my best friend, Dominic, was quite homophobic, and this was especially bewildering to me, seeing as he was the same person who kissed me on the lips on one of my birthdays back when we were in school, the same person who would often end our calls with “I love you.”
Yes, you would ask how come I never came out to him considering all these things he did. I honestly do not know the answer to that. I found it easy to come out to Wilson, who wasn’t even that close to me before I came out to him – but for whatever reason, I’d held back when it came to be out with Dominic.
And now, in light of the way he’s reacting to what he knows about his gym partner, I really, really, really am not sure anymore about telling him about me. Wilson is busy insisting that I should tell him, that it’d be selfish of me to hold back from him the knowledge of who his best friend truly is. I just truly cherish my friendship with Dominic and wouldn’t want to lose him.
So I need guidance. Should I tell him now? Should I wait till he leaves the country before telling him? Or should I just keep this forever from him?
I need help.
Submitted by Mannie