I Watched And Waited

I Watched And Waited

peepholeI have a story. It’s the kind of story where I need advice on what to do.

My name is Sinnex. I am twenty-five years old and I love guys. I have not been in a relationship before, and I have never had sex with anyone, both guys and girls. The surprising thing is that I am obsessed with guys, and how I cope without sex is quite surprising. I actually wank a lot and I have given and been given blowjobs, which happened in August and September of this year. I started wanking at the age of twelve. It was actually a classmate of mine in my secondary school in Lagos who unknowingly introduced me to it. I attended a single-sex school and did not know what sperm meant, because I grew up with girls. So, one day, I asked a classmate of mine how I would be able to see my sperm. He told me that he actually asked some guy in his area, and the guy said that he should put Vaseline on his penis and he should rub it vigorously, and after sometime, sperm would come out. When I got home, I did it, and nothing happened. For two years, I did it without seeing sperm. It was when I was fourteen that I saw the sperm.

So, like I said earlier, I love guys. In fact, I love cute guys a lot. I could see a very cute guy and just get a hard-on at once.

I am not a conversationalist and I don’t make friends easily. So, there is this guy in my area in Abuja. The first time I saw him, I just liked him. I didn’t know if it was something sexual or friendship I needed. All I knew was that I wanted to talk to him. No, scratch that – I needed to talk to him. So, since I met him early last year, I have been stalking him. I noticed he attends a church close to my house and was a member of the choir, which actually made my job easier.

So, anytime they had rehearsals, I would go there, take a seat and stare at them. At him. He is one of the leaders in the choir, so, sometimes he would be leading, and I would just sit there, staring, and getting carried away by his sonorous voice.

I was getting obsessed with the guy and I knew I just had to do something about it. I knew that if I did not get to know him on time, it might affect me emotionally. This is not the first time I’d felt this way. Sometimes, I don’t even know what is wrong with me.

Often times, when I go to watch him sing, I make sure he knows I am looking at him. But he doesn’t look back. Just imagine that there is someone in front of you, looking at you, and you are facing the person, but you are looking at everywhere but the person. That was what kept on happening.

So, on Wednesday, I perfected my plan to talk to him and collect his number in order to chat with him on Whatsapp. I had the support of two of my online gay pals. They gave me some tips. So after I came back from work, I changed and went out to meet up with the choir before they finished their rehearsals. However, when I got there, they had already finished. They were leaving the church. I knew that was my chance. The plan was to follow the guy until I got him all alone, even if it meant following him to his house.

So, I was walking behind the guy and the choir members. The next thing, they veered off the road, and from what I could hear of their chatter, it seemed as though they were going to visit someone. That meant my plan had been stalled. I trailed behind them and waited as they visited with their sick member. They spent a lot of time in there, so I went to get some stuff and came back and continued waiting. I waiting for minutes and they did not finish. The person of my interest was actually in the balcony of the house. I looked for a way to call him aside but did not know how to.

When I had almost given up, they started coming out of the house. I brightened up again, especially when I saw that he had veered away from his company, off on his own and was walking toward where I was standing.

This was my opportunity.

I swallowed hard.

I was tense.

My heart was beating fast.

I was in a hidden corner of the road when he passed me. I called out to him. He stopped and looked back, saw me, and made to walk on away. I called out to him again, telling him that I wanted to see him. The impatient look he gave me then… If not for the fact that I knew what I wanted, I would have dropped to the ground and had it swallow me out of sight.

When he came to me, I greeted him and offered him my hand for a handshake. He stared at me, and then at my proffered hand with an unmistakable expression of ire. To me, he was acting weird. I had not even told him anything, and he was already cold.

Still holding on to my inner strength, I told him I had been waiting for him, but it seemed like he had been busy. He told me that he was actually busy and that as I could see, they were just coming out of a social call.

I told him I wanted to tell him something or ask him something and that since he was busy, maybe he could give me his number so I could chat with him on Whatsapp. Even to my ears, that sounded pretty lame.

He said I should tell him whatever I wanted to say right then and there. Suddenly feeling awkward, I started laughing and told him and it was not a big deal to give me his number. His response to my words was a hiss, after which he turned and began walking away, muttering something which I could only catch snatches of, like, “I don’t have time for this nonsense… You can tell whatever you want to say to someone else…”

As he was walking away, I started calling out to him, but he did not heed to my calls.

I felt dumbfounded and mortified and a lot of other emotions that weren’t too positive. Presently, I don’t know if I will be able to stand him whenever I meet him again.

Now, I’m aware of the barbed tongue of the general Kitodiariesian public. However, can someone please VERY KINDLY tell me what went wrong and what I can do to rectify the situation?

Written by Sinnex

Previous An Open Letter To Christians Who Believe That Sexuality Is A Decision

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  1. king
    December 10, 06:39 Reply

    Why do I feel something is not right with this story?

    • Lord II
      December 10, 07:15 Reply

      Seriously why you decide to use my Pseudo and make others think YOU are ME is funny…if and when I decide to make any comment here it would be under a new pseudo so people should be aware that there is an impersonator in their midst!!!!

      • pinkpanthertb
        December 10, 07:19 Reply

        Wait first, king (or rather Lord II), you took a vacation from the comments section of KD, only to return in a huff the moment you saw someone using your pseudonym? LMAO!

      • Khaleesi
        December 10, 13:15 Reply

        Hi King!!! **wink wink*** please come back, dont let a few well-intentioned home truths drive you off hun …

  2. kritzmoritz
    December 10, 07:04 Reply

    Now, this is weird. Doesnt rank well in the believability metre. But if by some odd chance it was, Seriously, You need to see a doctor

    • chestnut
      December 10, 07:39 Reply

      Lol. D story is not so strange to me. D first guy I ever had any “intimate” dealings with, I approached him first! Not online or thru a friend; I just saw him and liked him (and I sensed strongly that he was gay too) and approached him with small talk (we were seeing a play at d arts theatre in skool),and we casually exchanged numbers at the end of the day(of course we didn’t discuss anything abt sex or sexuality during that first meeting,we were just discussing the play). I guess I was lucky he wanted what I wanted.
      Sinnex,I understand how u feel. U were bold,and for that,I commend u.the only thing that went wrong is that u didn’t let ur gaydar guide u. And d way u exposed urself to him over a course of few weeks was kinda creepy and not very tactical.work on finesse and diplomacy and casual,non-threatening social skills. Personally,I would have started going to his church as a regular member,not as a voyeur like u did…hehehe.at least that way,u have something in common to make u guys acquaintances and something legitimate to talk about,not just: “hi,I’m a stranger,but pls give me ur number,I want to tell u SOMETHING”

  3. Aproko Pikin
    December 10, 07:07 Reply

    Pinky, your headline captions are always on point…

    I dunno how to advise you dear Sinnex, I think you should pray about it for God’s leading.

  4. simba
    December 10, 07:08 Reply

    Seriously guy, ur a a freak,,.. u need help..a psychiatric evaluation and this is coming from a Dr… Sinnex,the choir guy was gentle with u, I would have called police for u, seriously ur a threat to his life.. u stalk him and made him realise ur stalking by making sure he knows ur there in de church staring.. abeg, seriously make real human friends in ur neighbourhood, talk to real humans and maybe ur orientation on how to make friends will change….sorry, but had to be real with u

    • pinkpanthertb
      December 10, 07:16 Reply

      You coulda been real without being so harsh. You’re a doctor. Doesn’t your bedside manners extend to him?

      • simba
        December 10, 07:28 Reply

        Thts why I said sorry…. its also a kinda of therapy in psycho analysis.. where ur brash to stern ur patient and let them realise how grave the situation is..

      • Peak
        December 10, 07:40 Reply

        Dear simba all the ramble you ve up there is a prime example of “keeping it real gone dumb” not everyone can keep it together like u sir! I would ve expected u as a “Dr” to tell him its an unhealthy way to live and stay away from the guy completely instead of calling him names. I think we really need to understand that we aren’t all the same, we act and behave differently. What might seem completely normal and natural to you might come across as unacceptable to others. This is a sensitive matter and we should make an effort to not to go over board with our comments.

        • pinkpanthertb
          December 10, 07:47 Reply

          Exactly my point, Peak. Someone was brave enough to share his story on this forum. Of course it isn’t what most of us are used to. but a little sensitivity never hurt anyone.

  5. Lord II
    December 10, 07:10 Reply

    This is gonna be my Pseudo now since someone else has decided to use my ORIGINAL one and fake me on this blog…fine… but I remember asking as last rites that this should not be done by anybody but this individual decides TO WEAR MY CAP!!! And call himself king….Hmm he who the cap fits…..

    • Peak
      December 10, 07:43 Reply

      Well come back ORIGINAL KING! Nice to have you back

      • king
        December 10, 09:28 Reply

        Thanks,Peak. I never really left,i was in the background

        • Lord II
          December 10, 09:34 Reply

          Haha haha hahaha!! He wasn’t talking to you!!!!! Haba..ok no p..go ahead and COLLECT!!!

  6. Deola
    December 10, 07:16 Reply

    *Backs away slowly from this post*

    • Ace
      December 10, 13:09 Reply

      Lol… Deola, i dunno why this your comment made me laugh. I guess it is the imagery it put in my head.

  7. Peak
    December 10, 07:16 Reply

    *No advice from me cos I ve never been in this kind of situation. Actually I ve taken extra extra measure to not be in this situation. All I can say to you is “You Got Balls Man”

  8. Masked Man
    December 10, 07:22 Reply

    Sinnex is just a sinner. You stalk someone and expect to be loved in return abi? I fear if you are alright.
    You don’t even sing in the choir. You just sit and mope. Be useful man, he would have noticed that. My advice, come back to reality.

    • chestnut
      December 10, 07:48 Reply

      My Lord! Guys are too fierce on this young man o!lol. I really don’t think it’s crazy,what he did. At that age,I know I constantly tried to find myself in places where I would “coincidentally” run into guys I had a crush on(though with a bit more subtlety).
      Sinnex,don’t worry too much about it.it has happened. Just forget about him and avoid him like a plague! If possible try not to let him ever set eyes on u (he might be d kind of guy that points u out to his frnds,while they have a laugh). It will blow over,trust me…*in Diddy’s voice*: “this too,shall pass”

  9. B.A.D
    December 10, 07:45 Reply

    sinnex wtf is wrong wt u? U wantu die now? How will u b stalkn d guy & askn 4 his number? Don’t u hv sense?? :-l when dey kito u now u’ll send pinky an epistle

    Let me be nice.

    Bruh, r u tryna get kitoed? U see a guy, u stalk him @ church (of all places), u ff him around & try 2 chat him up & ur best line is “there’s somethn I want 2 tell u” really???
    Dat tin u r lookn 4, u wee soon get it.

    • chestnut
      December 10, 07:55 Reply

      That first u wrote there and cancelled,I saw it o,just so u know *side-eye*…lol

    • Legalkoboko
      December 10, 08:20 Reply

      A cutting edge definition of mischief from a guy nicknamed BAD.

      Nna, you just can’t get worse than this. Lol!!!

      • B.A.D
        December 10, 08:30 Reply

        Lol, I’m just kidding o, derz nothing wrong wt cushing on a guy, sinnex just needs 2 b a little more furtive.

    • Max
      December 10, 11:16 Reply

      @B.A.D, how did you do that??…,omg….hahahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahahaha… Biko teach me..

  10. Absalom
    December 10, 07:52 Reply

    Hi, Sinnex (I like your name!) Hugs.

    Ok, EVERYTHING went wrong. Stalking (when done right) is not bad. If there’s someone you like, you can help Fate a little by placing yourself within the person’s magnetic field.

    A very simple strategy would have been joining the choir, attending rehearsals, and naturally, you’d get closer to him – and who knows, something might come out of that.

    Don’t act too familiar with strangers and start invading their space or trying to touch them; people don’t like that. Within the context of church – “I’m a new member, I want to join the choir etc” – the handshake may have made sense. But on an anonymous stretch of road? He doesn’t know you, man! And it’s frightening. I, for example, feel threatened when a stranger is asking me for directions and is advancing too close. And when I ask strangers for directions I maintain a respectable distance. We don’t know who’s who.

    It all boils down to social skills, knowing how to interact with people; and if it’s any consolation many of us are far from perfect in that department. We try, we learn. Just move on from this incident; there will be other guys and – hopefully – you’ve learnt from this how these things are done.

    Be well. 🙂

    • Deola
      December 10, 07:56 Reply

      Well said! Bitches above, shey you see how you can dish out advice without being all judgmental. The bros ask all of una to VERY KINDLY help,but no, you must show say na una tongue sharp pass. Nonsense.

    • chestnut
      December 10, 08:00 Reply

      Thank you Absalom! U spoke my mind…
      (Wait…is it just me,or have u been M.I.A for a while now? I’ve missed u like ‘kilode’! *hugs*)

      • B.A.D
        December 10, 08:25 Reply

        Off topic

        D way chestnut is commentn under ALL of Deola’s posts 2day, hmmm… Luv nwantinti :p

      • Absalom
        December 10, 09:40 Reply

        It’s not your imagination, Chestie. Hugs. 🙂

      • Deola
        December 10, 09:59 Reply

        BAD…you get A+ for effort. Lol!

  11. Handsomely Inclined
    December 10, 08:13 Reply

    Well,I can relate with this guy….because we are alike in so many ways except the wanking aspect……
    However,it depends on the individual ooooo..if na me,I would still go through your way and get away with it,lol
    @Ace,you remember that festac experience in front of your close?hahaha…..
    My brother,just read through the meaningful comments and get it right the next time (that’s if there will be next)…
    There are more suitable ways to go about it,you know….

    NB,What’s all these names like *Bitches,*Sisters * and the rest of all that too not pleasant names…

    We are all guys,full fledged ones for that matter,no matter who is snagging who…..

    My observation though

    • chestnut
      December 10, 08:32 Reply

      Er…”Festac experience in front of a close”?…#AmeboSensesActivated. Pls can u share d “Experience” with us? (Wait…lemme just put d kettle on d stove)

    • Ace
      December 10, 13:25 Reply

      Lol… Handsome. Let’s make that two experiences. And about the B-word calling, e tire me o.

  12. My Chemical Romance
    December 10, 08:21 Reply

    NB….I never entered the church, I have never stepped my foot inside the church. I just stand come metres from the church and see everything….

    Anyway, thanks for the numerous comments, I really appreciate. I don’t know why I feel so sad. You guys just don’t understand. I think it worked. In a negative way sha. All I wanted was to get over the guy, it was getting obsessive. In fact the guy made me rethink my sexuality….

    So, I have stopped going to listen to them while they sing. Even when I am in the house and I hear them rehearsing, I just use my earpiece. While going out, I don’t look at the church neither do I listen to them. I just use earpiece and pass.

    As for avoiding the location, I don’t think it is possible, the church is just in front of my house, so I have to pass through there before going out and coming back…

    I just hope the guy won’t start going round telling people about me…

    • gad
      December 11, 06:40 Reply

      You are not alone on this. Many has walked this road once upon a time in their lives. I understand how you feel but my advise to you is to discipline your mind and get over the guy. Lots of amiable and like minded guys abound in Abuja. If you go on with the way you did,we might have to hear a kito story from you soon. Mind you that guy might be gay but could still be the type of gay guy who “hates” gays…He might even be straight too.so pls just 4get him

  13. Lord II
    December 10, 08:45 Reply

    Dear Sinnex I feel your hurt and pain on the mistake you even know you made and i.am still wondering why some early heads couldn’t see that you only asked for advice and NOT INSULTS!! Sorry about that (on their behalf). However, you could repackage yourself better and I mean even to the way you look. Dress up man and STILL go there….be brave or braver than before but WISER….its all about your packaging dear!!

    • Peak
      December 10, 09:59 Reply

      Sorry KING (Lord II) but I think its best to go with absalom’s advice. The up side of crushing on someone is that with time you get over it. All he needs is a good dose of Out of sight is Out of mind! It has always worked like a charm 4 me. The very moment I notice I like someone beyond normal, I go out of my way to avoid them no talking, no eye contact, no jokes, I’m put up my china wall, He sees me as a cold fish and forms a bad idea of who I’m which makes it impossible for us to be actual friends when the oppotunity presents itself in the future. So give it time bro and get over this guy, believe there other men in ur future, just be better prepared and informed when the opportunity presents itself

      • Lord II
        December 10, 10:04 Reply

        Oh good too!!! Can’t disagree there…..at least this gives him options and room to act and more importantly MOVE ON from where he is….so SINNEX there you are….hope we have helped a bit!!!!

  14. FKA Chizzie
    December 10, 08:46 Reply

    The first part..about the sperm, still trying to figure out the relevance of dt bit aside from it being just hands down irritating.

    But I must ask, what went wrong with you? You sound incredibly naive for a 25 yr old. Even my 10yr old cousin seems more enlightened than u are. And the whole charade about stalking ( u actually admitted to stalking the guy… wth?) just came across as extremely childish to me, like what a desperate 15yr old would do. I could also infer that maybe u aren’t dt much of an attractive person, which would explain why at 25 u haven’t had any form of sex and also the hostile response from the choir guy, but I could be wrong.

    you should try going out more often, and making friends and I mean real friends, not online friends. And maybe read one or two books, just put in a more conscious effort towards orienting yourself .

    • king
      December 10, 09:35 Reply

      For once,i agree with you Chizzie

    • Deola
      December 10, 10:07 Reply

      Shade of life…pinky, all this shade you are throwing this morning. Ok. Continu.

    • My Chemical Romance
      December 10, 11:04 Reply


      Maybe I am a Christian and is keeping myself for marriage. Maybe I am scared of sex. Maybe…

      I really don’t think I am ugly, I may not be dead drop gorgeous, but I know I am far from ugly.

      The only issue I have is that I am an introvert and have difficulty making friends.

      Also I am not a murderer. Gosh!

      I did what I did In order to stop stalking him…you won’t understand. When I like someone so much, I get close to them, when I do, I just stop liking them… that was my plan. Only that it actually failed.

      I did not bring up here because I wanted to be congratulated. I did so because I want to learn to control my emotions.

      You sound like someone I know…

      • FKA Chizzie
        December 10, 11:22 Reply

        I sound like someone u know? k…stalk me then.

      • pinkpanthertb
        December 10, 12:57 Reply

        Sinnex, explaining yourself to Chizzie? You’re wasting your time, dear

  15. Handsomely Inclined
    December 10, 08:46 Reply

    Hahaha….yes ooo festac,6th avenue….
    Chestnut….Ikwesiri gwam na asili otutu na gu gi?

    Well,@Ace,come and gist chestnut oooooo

  16. Handsomely Inclined
    December 10, 08:54 Reply

    @Chizzle,please are you not being overtly irrational with your comment?
    People must not share the same story with you.
    I find it very annoying when you feel at 25 someone should have had sex?or maybe he is unattractive….gosh…
    I have not had sex all my life,I am not in anywhere ugly,I am overtly very social…wish Ace should tell you people about me…..
    Does that mean that something is wrong with someone?
    Can’t it just be a decision not to have sex yet?
    Please there are people who are very well,who haven’t wanked or had sex..
    Please we dey plenty…

  17. simba
    December 10, 08:58 Reply

    I may have sounded, harsh, but all I have in my heart is love for Sinnex.. we all show love in different ways.. personally thru experience, and digesting how u introduce ur self.. I feel something is wrong with u, psychologically.. sorry, I still suggest u mix with life friends, not online.. develop bonds with real people and forget abt ur choir boy, cus u need rehabilitation. I could give instances in ur self introduction to buttress my point abt ur mental state…

    • Legalkoboko
      December 10, 09:25 Reply

      simba, from the way you sound, one would think all introverts need rehabilitation.
      What EXACTLY is wrong with Sinnex? Share your diagnosis with us.
      Don’t worry about the high sounding medical terms. We can always Google it up.

  18. Legalkoboko
    December 10, 09:03 Reply

    Your story reminds me of the first guy I ever fell in love with at the age of 16.

    I and my family had gone for the usual Christmas season celebrations in our village.
    I didn’t realize till that day that I had an angel without wings as my neighbor in the village.

    I saw him and died.

    I would have stalked the living daylight out of him more than you did to your choir guy, but we were both saved the stress cos we eventually had to go back to the different cities we came from after each Christmas .

    All my teenage effort to get him to agree to take a walk with me failed! There were no cell phones, or emails then with which to keep in touch , and not everyone owned a p.o. box then either .

    So I had to endure the trauma for more than 3 years.

    When I see the guy now, he looks so flat to me; the fire is gone!
    But I learned my lessons.

    So keep using that ear piece, and don’t attempt to stalk him again. With time, he will fade.

    I think you should also follow Absalom’s advice.

  19. Bobby
    December 10, 09:44 Reply

    Hhhhhmmmmm…sinnex may not b ugly but what he needs is d techniques on hw to go about such which some of u have rightly given; though some were too harsh on him though…..he just needs to b kful. I live in abj and last thursday at garki a partner killed d other in a hotel and only God knows what went wrong cos d other partner is dead so he is claiming that he was lured to d hotel room as he never knew d guy stabbed was a gay; another account has it that after d rounds d guy refused to settle him monetarily that was y he stabbed him several times, my question is: who will speak for d dead? U r not gay but both u and d corpse were found naked in d pool of his blood. Wonders they say shall never cease to happen. We need to b extra cautious guys.

  20. simba
    December 10, 10:09 Reply

    @ legalbroko…its wrong to do this, but,.. amma point salient ish… Sinnex, is a shy person,.. and suddenly got obsessed with a choir boy.. his obsession, was enormous and synonymous with serial stalkers and killers.. he carefully monitored his victim, found out his schedule and with lots of patience he waited and calculating.. severe shy people with such obsessions, are the highest serial killers in history.. he threw his own caution to de wind, eavesdropped and followed his victim. When de guy refused to shake hands or accede to his demands, he said many not too positive emotions, came flooding in,.. in other words, (1) Sinnex believe he deserve/merit the choir guy.. (2) most worrying part is Sinnex saw nuffing wrong in his irrational behaviour. … he may be saint and etc,.. but my worry is people like him, too shy with few human friends have high propensity for murder…

    • Legalkoboko
      December 10, 10:23 Reply

      Simba, but the guy clearly asked “… tell me what
      went wrong and what I can do to rectify the

      How many would-be serial killers have the presence of mind to ask such question?

      • Lord II
        December 10, 10:26 Reply

        I taya ooooo!!! Abi you have a personal vendetta against SINNEX… come on…give him a break pls!!!! he didn’t ask us to curse him…he asked YOU for advice…haba!!!

    • pinkpanthertb
      December 10, 10:35 Reply

      Irrational behaviour? Lets be careful what words we use and make sure they apply.

    • FKA Chizzie
      December 10, 11:01 Reply

      I agree with u simba. its borderline physcopath behaviour, people who are in thier right senses dont go about stalking other people, and he casually dropped the fact dt he was “stalking” the guy like stalking was as mundane and normal as mowing a lawn. And this is a 25yr old. A grown man. The average 25 yr old for starters isn’t a virgin…and certainly doesn’t go around stalking men in such meticulous fashion.

      This isn’t normal at all ,the sooner sinnex realizes it- the better for him.

      • Dubem
        December 10, 13:20 Reply

        You know what else is not normal? Believing with every fibre of your being that Dennis Macaulay can’t be who he portrays himself to be, even when you don’t know him.

        Log. Wood. Eye.

    • Peak
      December 10, 11:27 Reply

      Hmmmm Simba let see,……..where do I begin……….serial killer…….serial stalker………..murder………..victim……..his demands?……..not so positive emotions???…… Believes he deserves/merits the choir boy………….saw nothing with is irrational behaviour????? Lol simba LUV! did we read the same post cos this ur analysis is reaching beyond the moon with a tea spoon! Unless u ve not had a crush on someone b4, then I will be willing to accept ur analysis on the grounds of plain ignorance! Dude! he is asking for help cos he is clueless and wants 2 know where he went wrong so why would u say he saw nothing wrong with his behaviour?……….not so positive emotion = rejection, low self esteem, not good enough, not goodlooking enough, not well dressed and I can go on and on which is a far cry from what u deduced. Thinks he merits/ deserves the choir boy????? You will only dare to walk up 2 someone if u think u ve a shot of winning them over not cos you deserve or feel entitled to ve them. We de shout stalker up and down, in heterosexual relationships we ve seen/heard of guys talking girls for months, befriending her family and friends just to get to her, learning things (even personal stuff) about her some even go as far as knowing the kind of guy she dates and her current boyfriend, peep @ her when she is bathing (if he has that kind of access, a lot of that kind of peeping Happened in NYSC camp). In such cases we say the guy love the girl die! Guy I can write volumes of journals to flaw this ur deductions. ………Please we really need to be mindful of the words we use cos someones mental state/life/happiness may be dependent on it. He just needs guidiance to better equip him to deal with the current situation and possibly in the future. I’m extremely shy as a person and since I realised that ppl know its my weakness and take advantage, I ve learned to coat my shyness with Indifference and disinterest which ppl percieve as Coldness. The fact that u are grown and still shy doesn’t mean u ve mental issues and creepy, we are all designed to function DIFFERENTLY

  21. Paul
    December 10, 10:59 Reply

    From all ds I have learnt 1 tin.
    If u have a problem and need advice don’t ask Kitodiareseans.
    I feel so pained @ d responses.
    Some pple act like dey suddenly appeared @ d level dey r today. No steps,no crawls,jst high jumps—continooo
    Even d obviously dysfunctional ones r insulting odas.
    Sinnex Jst chill,u’d b fine. Let d ugly incidence go.I’m sure u hv learnt a tin or two.
    And as for Emotions- dey often fade away! Believe and hope ds would n in d interim b strong
    Someday u’d remember ds and laff.
    Cheers man.

  22. Max
    December 10, 11:11 Reply

    Omg…you remind me of a stalker I once knew…
    So many things are wrong with your story … Many things.. I won’t even come close to u if you call me out and tell me how you’ve been waiting for me..that’s creepy.. My 2cents advice, stay away from him. He may or may not be.. Theres a reason you’ve never had sh*t with anyone.. Find out the problem and fix it.. You can’t be stalking people ..

  23. My Chemical Romance
    December 10, 12:35 Reply

    I don’t know if I have gotten what I wanted or not. I thought telling the world about my experience would make me feel better.

    There is just no difference between this place and nairaland.

    Well, some comments were helpful, while some were damnright hurtful.

    Someone even called me psychotic…I used the word ‘stalk’ because it was not normal to me. It is not as if I go to the guy house or something. It is just that when ever I go home, I pass through the church and look out for the guy, it is not as if I go there and stare always. There are sometimes I don’t see him for over a month. The instances I made mention of happened just once.

    Someone also said I was not normal because I have not had sex…is that not crazy. What’s special about sex? To me sex is more, and if waiting for the right person to do it with is foolish, then you can call me a fool.

    Now, I only brought it up in order not to experience such again, I don’t want it to happen. As in, i don’t want to have a crush with someone…

    While there are some people who sound as if they have personal issues with me…I have nothing for them.

    I don’t know how some people think that it is only when they sound harsh that they could make a point. Some guys were not harsh, and they made their points known…

    As for those who say that I am ugly that is why I have not had sex, mehn, that is crazy. Even the ugly ones have sex regularly. If I wanted sex, I could have had it since. It is not about sex. I wonder why some people believe that being gay means that the person must have sex.

    What again, like one person rightly said, this forum is not the ideal place to ask a question. Some people are just plain annoying and they think they know it all. One even said i should see a doctor without telling me why I should see one. Another one said he was a doctor, I wonder what kind of doctor he is. A doctor that cannot diagnose…at least I laid it bare. I did not come out to be who I am not.

    You don’t know me from adam, i asked a question and needed an answer to the question, and some people were just taking it personal.

    Some people don’t know how hurtful some comments are, you don’t know someone and you decide to call the person names, when you hear of people committing suicide, you begin to wonder what happened.

    BTW, I did not meet the guy because I wanted sex or something, I just felt he was a cool guy. And yes, I have friends…not lots…but enough. The issue is that i don’t even go out…I get bored of people easily, so I am alway in need of new friends….

    We can’t all be the same, if we were the world would be dreary. At least I did not rape someone like some of you did, or seduce a small boy. Yet, you think I am a fool because I have not had sex. I have not travelled and been raped because of sex, neither have I paid someone money because of sex.

    I still don’t get why someone would think they are better. Nobody is above mistakes. I felt here, being a community of like minds, I would be open enough to get the necessary advise…when it comes to sex, I dont think age matters…there are lots of teenagers that are good….

    What again…..

    Not all comments were bad sha, some were funny and helpful….some were hilarious and made me smile….some were just so annoying and I was like….WTH!!!

    • simba
      December 10, 13:08 Reply

      U just sound different from the earlier Sinnex.. everything here is anonymous, nobody knows u.. I guess we all love u and showing u love in different shades.. don’t feel bad dear, skip the comments u don’t like and make use of the ones u like.. I may have been wrong in my approach and I say sorry,..but u know, sometimes harsh words help.. tho I figure only parents should use it lol.. Okay cheers

      • AC/DC
        December 10, 15:41 Reply

        Why are u bellyaching over this issue????
        If only u know most of this peeps cursing u are so messed up.
        Na only ajambele they sabi yarn trying to paint a little colour into their drab pathetic lives.
        U better grow a steel backbone and don’t take to heart anything they write to insult you.

        • Lord II
          December 10, 15:44 Reply

          Ah AC/DC you just had to speak the truth and make it so OBVIOUS!!! Oh well can’t disagree!!!!

    • FKA Chizzie
      December 10, 17:11 Reply

      lool dunno why I found this extremely funny. There’s a child-like innocence and an obliviousness to ur comments…which is amusing and kinda cute. Ok maybe I came across a tad harsh. But u really shouldn’t take ppl’s comments to heart most times…esp when u haven’t seen them and they know nothing about you. And its the internet, u should expect that acerbic ppl like me lurk in corners ready to strike at the slightest provocation. Anyways so incase u ever want ur virginity to be taken abruptly…I might be of assistance 😀

      • pinkpanthertb
        December 10, 17:29 Reply

        A proposition?!

        From chizzie?! :O

        Whatever happened to all that prim properness?!

  24. s_sensei
    December 10, 12:59 Reply

    Lets clarify a few things. Sinnex is not mentally disordered. I know becos i shrink people for a living. Does he need professional help? No, he doesnt. In fact if i were to pick one person on this blog to get professional help, it would not be him. Does he have some personality issues? Yes, he does. But almost every person i know has got one personality issue or another. This doesnt make them deranged. So what does he need? Friends! Good friends. KIND friends. Friends who can share their experiences with him and teach him a few “tricks of the game”. And he would be easy to help because he is obviously willing to LISTEN AND LEARN. For those of us with sharp tongues, know that harsh words can break a person’s self esteem. If Sinnex already had esteem issues, with all your harsh comments, you have probably made it worse. HARSH WORDS CAN BE VERY DAMAGING. Please keep your tongues sheathed.

    For Sinnex, i got some advice. Please forget this dude…FOREVER. Open your book of existences and cross him out. You have messed this one up. Honestly, i would freak out if i were stalked like this. This doesnt make u an evil person. Your intentions were not evil. You are just a horny little fella who was crushing big time on some dude. But people cannot look into your heart to see your intentions. Since we cannot read the heart, we (humans) have to rely heavily on APPEARANCE. What does it SEEM like? And darling you put up a scary show! 😀 So please, close that chapter.
    And let me tell you about one mistake all of us make on a daily basis when trying to evaluate people. Research has shown that beautiful people are generally assumed to be GOOD PEOPLE. But life will teach you as it has taught so many of us that this is FAR from true. “Even Lucifer can appear as an angel of light”. And in these days of kito, NEVER ASSUME. in fact, think the worst and imagine the worst of a potential partner until proven otherwise.

    one last thing. make friends!!! make friends!!! make friends!!!

    • pinkpanthertb
      December 10, 13:03 Reply

      Now here’s both a doctor and a compassionate person speaking.

  25. Anonymous
    December 10, 13:03 Reply

    You came across as creepy, although your intentions might be honorable … I’ll give you fine points for your bravado and your immensely humongous-ly huge dangling balls.
    What you lack is refinement, no finesse as someone has pointed out before.
    I do believe your attitude towards stalking the said person is unhealthy, so for that reason I’d advice you to just back off.
    But if you feel you really do want this person like bad bad Micheal Jackson bad, just find some way to meet up with the said brother preferably after a church service … APOLOGISE, tell said brother “YOU LIKE HIM AND WANT TO BE FRIENDS” simple. You can even go with the lines of “you need an elder brother in the Lord” trust me these church brothers be hungry for new souls

  26. Peak
    December 10, 13:03 Reply

    Wow pinky! I didn’t realise we all ve to be cumbuckets and man whores, graduates of slutty institute of whoredom as well as have special skills in hole drilling, dick blowing/slinging and cum guzzling to be eligible to make a post or comment on this blog? Please feel free to englighten me cos it seem its a serious crime to dare air out ur views/opinions if u don’t ve these “Prestigious qualifications”

      • Peak
        December 10, 14:13 Reply

        Pinky all u’ve to do is read the above comments of our inhouse-standby “whores of babylon”! Haba na by force to be fuckaholic like una? This is so annoying, I ve noticed how they drag ppl through the gutter if they dare mention that they ve been practising abstiness, weather volunteerily or not. Please call them to order. the whole comment might not affect me directly by a long shot, but this is a community/play ground where we educate and entertain our selves, not some dark alley for “Cyber thugs”

  27. Khaleesi
    December 10, 13:19 Reply

    Lol… you need to brush up on your socializing skills somehow … stalking him was pretty creepy and i daresay, you made your intentions a bit too obvious even when you werent sure which way he swings. Be more careful next time …

  28. desmond
    December 10, 14:12 Reply

    Sinnex….the latter part of your story is something that can happen to anyone and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you!you just allowed your emotions to get the better side of you,just learn to control your emotions and you be fine. A Lot of peeps here just need to learn how to be silent if they don’t have reasonable advise to give rather than showing off their stupidity.

  29. Ace
    December 10, 14:12 Reply

    Some comments were downright hurtful. Damn! I’ve always thought this blog was a place we could air our experiences, both good, ugly, awkward and bad; and get opinions expressed from other guys. I guess some people are just way up their manhole. The fact that this blog protects our identities to some level, doesn’t give ANYONE the right to qwerty their venomous feelings and activate bitch mode. Please save the drama for your fuck buddies.

    Now my thoughts about the story, It is evident that you are an introverted person and couldn’t control the influx of emotions you had for the choir boy. My advice: with time you will forget him. Just take it as a bad day and give it time, trust me you will see him one day and wonder why you had feelings for him in the first place. No too think am, we’ve all had those days when “market” no sell.

  30. iamcoy
    December 10, 15:03 Reply

    After reading alot of the comments I can’t help but agree that man’s biggest problem is man..
    If u have an issue except you are looking for ccomedy and have a rock solid heart don’t bring it to kd, that’s why u need good pals sinnex who u can rely on for advice. Be good

  31. Ace
    December 10, 15:20 Reply

    Ehen! Pinky, hope u got that my awkward story. Lol.

  32. My Chemical Romance
    December 10, 15:20 Reply

    Now you guys are talking. What stopped you from saying it earlier. You wanted me to kill myself instead of committing suicide.

    You guys made lots of sense.

    I have already decided to change my wardrobe and go out more often.

    What else…

    I won’t meet the guy again….

    I know I can’t avoid him, na snubbing tinz makes sense….

    • Lord II
      December 10, 15:26 Reply

      But please don’t make it look as if you are bearing a grudge against him…

  33. Mr Kassy
    December 10, 15:49 Reply

    I don’t know whether it’s just me, buh I think this Blog is rapidly turning to LINDA IKEJI BLOG (LIB). where those cannibals that call themselves Libers can just sit down and stupidly type through their phones comments that can make one to commit suicide in split seconds.They are always bitter,malicious and wicked,Please Pinkpanther,take note;stipulaTe rules and guidlines that will be guiding the tone with which some people “vomit wickedness” here.*Just a reccommendation*

    • Lord II
      December 10, 15:53 Reply

      And you think it will be adhered to??? Hmmm if cats could bark…..oh what a day of rejoicing dat will be!!!

  34. victor
    December 10, 16:49 Reply

    There’s nothin wrong with u sinnex, love has a way of making us act the way we are not used to, I still remember how I used to run out of my shop just to look @this guy I had this huge crush on while younger,I just pray he just stands there,whenever he leaves,I just die inside but couldn’t approach him and the times he approached me for any favour, its a yes sir and worst part is it was even so hard to stare him in the face or let him catch my eye cause I just felt my feelings is gonna show so clearly. Atleast u ve learnt ur lessons now,dnt let ppo with bitter lives kill ur spirit,just learn to be better @socializing

  35. lluvmua
    December 10, 18:48 Reply

    hmmmmmmmm a whole lotta comment here hmmmmmm. my darling dear sinnex I think they have said it all. just take what suits u. and for una wey comment rubbish continu ooooo smc (shake my cakes)

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