10 responses

  1. Colossus
    April 8, 2020

    My name is Dimeji.

    The first part of a prequel to the heart pounding trilogy, Finding Dimeji.

    Out now!!!!


    • Orobo Hunter
      April 10, 2020

      Hahaha.. You’re not serious.


  2. Mandy
    April 11, 2020

    The thing I found striking about your story is that you didn’t travel down the often-journeyed road that those of us who suffer depression in the community take: which is suicide.
    It’s really good to read that instead of seeking to take your life, you sought to fight for freedom. Not that I’m shitting on suicide. It takes a lot of bravery for either choice to be made: whether to take your life or fight for your life.
    I’m just really fascinated by how your depression fired up your spirit to seek a different kind of life for you as opposed to simply ending the life you have.


    • Dimkpa
      April 12, 2020

      I may be wrong but your reply comes across as if you consider suicide a reasonable course of action.

      “Not that I’m shitting on suicide”- I think you should actually shit on suicide. It indicates someone may have been failed by either friends, family or society.

      “It takes a lot of bravery for either choice to be made…simply ending the life you have.” If it takes a lot of bravery to make a choice then it is not simple.

      “the often-journeyed road that those of us who suffer depression in the community take: which is suicide.” If you have taken this road, I daresay you really would not be here to write this comment.


      • Mandy
        April 12, 2020

        I don’t understand this amateur attempt at psychoanalysis that you are trying to pull with me.

        First of all, yes, during some attacks of depression, I have in fact thought about suicide. It’s not about considering it a “reasonable course of action”. It’s simply about thinking of it as a way to go. Whether reasonable or not is not exactly what someone in a depressed state of mind considers when he is going through what he is going through.

        And when I say I’m not shitting on it, I mean that I do not belong to this school of thought that is all about insensitivity when they are talking about suicide victims as though they are weak-minded people who dared commit a crime by taking their own lives. Insensitivity that comes from a place that does not understand the struggle it takes one to get to that point where they do not see any other way to go on with life other than to end things.

        I may be wrong but your reply comes across like you are one of such people.

        And when I said “simply ending your life”, that doesn’t mean I said it’s that simple. Please I would appreciate it if you do not draw false conclusions of my comments. I have lived this enough to have firsthand information about what it is or isn’t.

        And as to your last comment, I have no idea what you mean. But when I said it is the “often-journeyed road that those of us who suffer depression in the community take”, it means I have heard enough stories of gay people taking their lives and had enough conversations with people going through stuff and thinking suicidal thoughts to know that suicide more than thoughts of breaking away are what gay people going through dark times think.

        I don’t know why I’m even explaining myself to you, but if you have problem grasping the concept of why people would take their lives, ponder it on your own and don’t come here attempting to make me feel defensive about my choices in life.


      • Dimkpa
        April 12, 2020

        It is interesting to note how in trying to come for me you prove my point. Someone who is depressed may consider suicide but it is not a solution to the problem but rather a symptom of it. It is not “the way to go.” Would you say then that one of the treatments for depression is suicide? It isn’t! So the fact that you consider it does not make it a solution. It may well come if it is not adequately treated or not treated at all but it is not the way to go.

        You’ve gone to a great length to backtrack on your “shitting on suicide” comment. If you want to say something then choose your words correctly and make sure they convey what you want. Suicide is the act of taking one’s life. Shitting on something has to do with disregarding it. So, not shitting on suicide means not discounting it as a way out of the problem, which you should totally do. That phrase does not carry any of the meaning you have mentioned in your reply to me. You would not tell a person who is depressed, “I understand your struggles and I know you’re thinking of suicide, I’m not shitting on it but…” as that would sound like an endorsement of that course of action.

        I understand this culture of replying with vitriol to any perceived critique of a view point that has become almost characteristic of the comments here. I did not expect anything different from you. However, we can’t all always be correct and if we think we are, then we cannot learn from others. It is important therefore to moderate the language we use in comments. I try to, maybe sometimes unsuccessfully, limit my comments to the view point presented in the post and not direct any critique to the person, who I do not know. You have implied I am amateur, insensitive and have a problem understanding concepts. I think however, you should know that I have indeed been depressed and thought of suicide, my work involves many depressed and sometimes suicidal people who I help to avoid that course of action.
        Happy Easter!


      • Mandy
        April 12, 2020

        You know, you seem to be very accomplished in twisting my comments to serve whatever purpose you have.

        First of all, I never suggested suicide was a solution to a problem. I said: “It’s simply about thinking of it as a way to go.” That in NO WAY implies that I think of it as a solution to a problem. I really wish you will take your own advice and really read what my comments are, before you run with your own twisted version of what I said and going off about how I’m not using my words. I know what I am saying and I have chosen the words I want to say correctly to express what I am thinking. Maybe do yourself a favour and read to understand instead of to critique.

        Secondly, I did not backtrack on my “shitting on suicide” comment. I EXPLAINED it. A wasted effort, it would seem, seeing as all you’re here to do is pick at my comments for the purpose of making yourself out to be some sort of commenter with higher understanding of life.

        Do not tell me what I should or shouldn’t do regarding my considerations about suicide. If you’re a doctor, then SHAME on you for using this kind of finalistic language. If you’re not, then you have absolutely no business even debating my intentions with me. You may choose to discount suicide, that is of course your prerogative, but please, shut up about how I choose to think on it. (I’m frankly baffled that you claim to work with suicidal people, if this is how you hold conversations about it.)

        And yes, I have noticed that it is your niche over here to come after people’s differing views with this faux persona of “I’m wise, I know what I’m talking about, and you don’t”. That would make sense if you even knew what you are talking about. Because, like I said, read someone’s viewpoints to understand where they are coming from, instead of to pass unnecessarily insensitive critiques.

        Happy Easter to you too.


  3. Dimkpa
    April 12, 2020

    This is really great writing. I can’t wait to read the rest of this story. You seem to be very thoughtful and introspective.


  4. Kezon
    April 15, 2020

    To think that I never suffered depression as a gay man

    Just learnt how to compartmentalize

    My depression can from failing an exam, something that has never happened to me

    My second depression from KD
    And never realizing about this forum


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