Opinion: Dwyane Wade’s Kid Underscores How Gender Fluidity Is Erasing Homosexuality

Opinion: Dwyane Wade’s Kid Underscores How Gender Fluidity Is Erasing Homosexuality

Originally published on The Federalist

The gay rights movement was about accepting a person with divergent sexuality. Trans rights are not about accepting people as they are, but sculpting them into someone new.

 

Parents are put in a hard spot when a child comes out as trans, leaving them basically two options: reinforce the new identity or wait and see. Watchful waiting allows a child to experiment with gender expression without committing to a course of action, but full steam ahead is the going trend. It shouldn’t be.

While many families go through this quietly, struggling to figure out the best response in this rapidly changing climate, basketball star Dwyane Wade and his wife, actress Gabrielle Union, stepped into the spotlight to publicly back their newly trans child. Zion had first come out as gay, but at 12 years old, he then came out as trans, asking to be called Zaya.

According to Wade, Zaya was insistent on being trans. “I don’t think I’m gay,” Wade recalled Zaya saying. “This is how I identify myself. This is my gender identity. I identify as a young lady. I think I’m a straight trans (girl) because I like boys.” Ten years ago, Zion would have just been gay, period.

A future as a lifelong medical patient is not a decision a child should be allowed to make at 12 years old, and certainly not in the public eye. Speaking on “Ellen,” Wade recounted he and Union instantly accepted Zion’s assessment and became open advocates of the trans cause.

They began to use the new name, Zaya, and decided they would trust their 12-year-old to guide them, as opposed to leading as parents. Union reached out to trans celebrities for guidance on how best to reinforce their child’s new identity. Zaya quickly became a celeb as well and was recently met with wild applause and cheers when featured on the Jumbotron at the Heat’s American Airlines Arena.

Being public about Zaya’s transition is a strange decision. Wade and Union’s reasoning for their outspokenness is that they are attempting to create a safe space in society for their beloved child. They want to diminish Zaya’s social struggles as much as possible.

Wade’s appearance on “Ellen” was in service to that. Ellen DeGeneres is an out lesbian and has been since the 1990s. Given her perspective on the importance of accepting and integrating gays and lesbians in society at large, it’s odd she would celebrate when a 12-year-old who has proclaimed his same-sex attraction switches to believing he is a straight member of the opposite sex. In fact, advocates for same-sex-attracted people are concerned that the push for transgenderism is erasing homosexuality.

Instead of questioning a child who comes to believe his body is wrong, the trend is simply to believe them. Gay and lesbian celebrities, politicians, neighbors, friends, and family members make it easier for people to relinquish prejudice, and trans is lumped in with homosexuality.

It is, however, a completely different thing. While the movement for gay rights emphasized the lack of difference between straight and gay people, trans treats the born body as an illness that must be cured. Ellen doesn’t seem aware of that.

“I think it’s what every parent should be is what you’re being right now,” DeGeneres said in praise of Wade. “Which is unconditionally loving your child and supporting your child whoever they are. There are so many parents that are just, ‘You’re not going the way I imagined or wanted you to be,’ and freak out. And you’re so loving and supportive of Zaya and what a special child she is.”

“Yes, she is. Thank you so much for that,” Wade replied. “First of all, me and my wife, Gabrielle Union, we are proud parents of a child in the LGBT-plus community, and we’re proud allies as well. And we take our responsibilities as parents very seriously. So when a child comes home with a question … when a child comes home with anything, it’s our job as parents to give them the best information that we can, the best feedback that we can, and that doesn’t change because sexuality is now evolving.”

Wade talks about the moment his child came home and said, “I’m ready to live my truth,” asking for a name change from Zion to Zaya and to be referred to with female pronouns. Wade and Union felt it was their job to learn about transgenderism and reached out to famous trans people, such as actors from the show “Pose.” They feel that 12-year-old Zaya is their leader in this, and they defer to Zaya’s judgment, which seems to conflict with Wade’s idea of giving his child “the best information” he can.

 

How Does One Reconcile Gay and Straight with Trans?

According to the National LGBTQ Task Force, “most transgender people also identify on the queer sexual orientation spectrum.” But digging into this assertion reveals something rather surprising: 77 percent of respondents to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey said their sexual orientation was something other than straight, leaving 23 percent of respondents identifying as straight. However, these definitions have been remade to suit gender ideology.

A male-bodied person who identifies as female and is attracted to men is considered straight for the purposes of this study, as is a female-bodied person who identifies as male and is attracted to women. By commonly used terms from a mere 10 years ago, this 23 percent of respondents would be considered same-sex attracted. The 77 percent of respondents who identify as not straight claimed their sexuality to be gay, lesbian, or same-gender loving (23 percent), bisexual (25 percent), asexual (4 percent), queer (23 percent), and other (2 percent).

Zaya would belong to the 23 percent of trans people who identify as straight, meaning Zaya is a same-sex-attracted person, otherwise known as gay. Lesbian and gay activists who oppose trans ideology on the basis that it erases homosexuality are not wrong. This is the case of a child who finds it more palatable to present as the opposite sex than to be gay.

This is also the case in restrictive cultures, wherein gay people are considered a problem, but trans people are accepted. This is because trans offers a “cure” for homosexuality, a way to turn a gay person straight.

In Iran, for example, it’s much more acceptable to be trans than gay. A majority of the Iranian ladies’ soccer team players are actually transitioned males. In fact, for an Iranian regime that has notoriously claimed homosexuality does not exist in the country, determining that gay people are trans is a way to “cleanse the country of homosexuality.” Iran is the second-leading country in the world for trans surgeries after Thailand, where people go as trans surgical tourists.

It is easy to see how a government that despises the alternative sexual lifestyle of homosexuality could embrace transgenderism, which is considered a fixable, curable disorder. Once patients are “fixed,” they can live in the stereotypical gender roles of the opposite sex. For the Iranian regime, trans reinforces the gender binary upon which their society is based.

 

Protect Children from Trans ‘Cures’

What if some kids who present as trans are actually gay but feel that trans is more socially acceptable? This is the contention of some lesbian, gay, and bisexual advocates, who are concerned that the emergence of trans identity is an erasure of same-sex-attracted identity. A big difference between the way trans and same-sex attraction are discussed in culture is that transgenderism has a cure, a pathway, a prescription for a child. Change the child’s name to one associated with the opposite sex, and socially transition in behavior and dress at school, home, and in public.

When the time is appropriate, begin a drug regimen to prevent the child’s body from going through puberty as his or her biological sex, and administer hormones that will alter the child’s body chemistry to give the appearance of opposite-sex traits. Finally, undertake surgeries to alter the body’s look. For boys, this means castration and vaginoplasties, and for girls, mastectomies and phalloplasties.

Once that’s all complete, voila, the trans child is cured and has become a lifelong medical patient, but is no longer suffering from dysphoria. Remaking their bodies to match their minds is conceived of as a cure.

Conversely, homosexuality has no cure. In many states, conversion therapy is illegal, yet therapy to convert a boy to a girl is not. Many LGB advocates find this confusing, raising the question of how LGB and T advocates can be considered part of the same movement.

The gay rights movement was about accepting a person with divergent sexuality. Trans rights are not about accepting people as they are, but sculpting them anew out of their own flesh. Parents must stop deferring to children who complain their brain is in the wrong body. Parents like Wade and Union should be guiding their children, not the other way around.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous Pete Buttigieg Ends His Presidential Bid
Next Hello. It’s Me.

About author

You might also like

Opinion Pieces 5 Comments

Fantastic Beasts 2’s Dumbledore and Grindelwald Love Is About More Than Representation

Originally published on player.one Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald director David Yates told Entertainment Weekly that, while Johnny Depp as the dark magician Grindelwald and Jude Law as Albus

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Opinion Pieces 3 Comments

Opinion: After Jussie Smollett, Will Real Victims of Anti-LGBT Hate Crimes Be Heard?

Jussie Smollett just made it that much harder for the United States to have an honest conversation about anti-LGBT violence. What’s especially painful is how urgent that conversation remains. On

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Opinion Pieces 9 Comments

Dismantling Those Myths About Gay Sex

I find it weird that straight people cannot get their minds out of our asses. They’re obsessed with how we have sex, what happens before and after. It’s even weirder

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

22 Comments

  1. Mickey😘
    March 02, 09:13 Reply

    I don’t quite understand this post are you criticizing the way Dwayne and his wife is taking the situation or what

  2. Fred
    March 02, 10:34 Reply

    I think transgender groups should make their stand very clear. If what Iran pushes before becomes the new normal, then we’ll wake up one morning to find a new rainbow that we’re unfamiliar with. Parents should be supportive of their LGBTQ+ kids but they shouldn’t relinquish their duty as guides to their kids.
    We really do not want to let none LGBTQ+ folks think we don’t know who we are, do we?

  3. xeenarh
    March 02, 11:27 Reply

    Is Kito diaries now leading the voice of what-about-ism?
    “What if some kids who present as trans are actually gay but feel that trans is more socially acceptable?”
    Well they aren’t. When people tell you their truth, believe them. You definitely won’t stand homophobia, so I’m quite surprised you’re leading the transphobic conversation here

    • Pink Panther
      March 02, 11:50 Reply

      The reason why the caption begins with the word “opinion” is to show that this is someone’s opinion this forum finds interesting enough for a conversation. This militant need to dismiss every opinion that appears hesitant on transgenderism as transphobia has to stop. Listen to what people have to say and engage before you dismiss them as being transphobic.

      • Mandy
        March 02, 11:57 Reply

        Lol. Now what does this remind me of? Oh that’s right. The time of twitter when the whole LGBT community came after you for daring to call Bobrisky a he instead of she. 😂😂😂

        So Pinky, you’re still *gasp* transphobic.

        • Blah
          March 02, 12:48 Reply

          I hope y’all will be able to maintain the same energy if there’s a similar discourse on homosexuality

          • Mandy
            March 02, 13:28 Reply

            The discourse cannot be similar, because the conversations surrounding sexuality and gender are not the same.

        • Mr robot
          March 05, 08:21 Reply

          Hmmm since a 12 year old cant identify as trans so i’m guessing this same logic justifies the claims by homophobes that kids cant ascertain their sexuality at that age too?
          Being trans isnt even more acceptable than being gay or bi as implied by the article not when the life expectancy of the average trans woman is 35,access to employment is limited hence why the rate of sex work within the community is quite high,they are denied medical care,they are more prone to harrassment from police etc
          A lot of the comments keep alluding to the genitals of zaya being reconstructed and like homie there are processes put in place for adults to go through before embarking on transitioning entirely and you think this doesnt apply to 12 year olds,all they said was that her prounons were she/her and here you all are being intrusive in relations to a 12 year old genital and you guys dont think thats creepy
          The logic that this transphopic and misinformed post is fostering conversation justifies thinkpieces of right wing sites that publishes homophobic articles which adds to the further marginalisation of the targeted group
          A marginalised person who isnt hesitant in punching down on a more marginalised person scares me cause youre practically mirroring the actions of your oppressor,its okay to not understand trans ideology but it would serve trans people better if you left them alone after all this is the same courtesy you ask of homophobea

    • Mitch
      March 02, 14:25 Reply

      Of course, it has to be transphobia. If that word doesn’t get bandied about in these situations, then the conversation hasn’t begun.
      🚶🚶🚶

      • Higwe
        March 02, 18:34 Reply

        I was really getting worried about you .
        As much as it grieves me to say this , I really missed you 😁.

        I wanted to enquire about you from Pink P but he doesn’t reply my G-mail these days .

        Dude is a loyal friend to the max …better not screw up the friendship with your toxicity .😎

        Welcome back .

  4. Higwe
    March 02, 13:06 Reply

    While I think this article is a load of horseshit ……esp the ridiculous insinuation that people have it much easier identifying as trans than homosexuals -I do agree with the 12 year old point.

    There is a reason 12 year olds aren’t allowed to vote.

    There is a reason adults that have sex with twelve year olds end up in prison or an electric chair.

    I wouldn’t put such a major decision in the hands of a twelve year old.

    Let him become an adult and if he still feels the same way , then give him all the support .

    ***************
    like many other homosexuals ,I grew up playing dress up .
    I used my sister’s makeups , wore their gowns , played with their dolls…tried dancing like Jlo , Shakira , Beyonce etc

    I remember playing queen in my primary school days ( because I was so pretty) even snuck backstage to get a kiss from the king 😁.

    If I had ” woke ” parents then , they would have said I’m a woman living in a man’s body and dragged me from one TV show to another reaffirming their wokeness to much rousing applause from the cheering crowd .

    Presently , I wouldn’t want to be a woman even if I got an offer of hundred billion dollars.

    I love women .
    I admire their strength .
    I support them.
    Most of of my favorite people and celebrities are women …

    Butiiiii….I wouldn’t trade being a man for anything in the world …a mindset I didn’t have 13 or 14 years ago when I would have given a limb to look like my sisters .

    ***********
    People should be anything they want to be in this life ( as long as they’re not hurting others ) …let them just be old enough to take responsibility for it. 😎

    • God
      March 02, 13:49 Reply

      [quote]There is a reason 12 year olds aren’t allowed to vote.[/quote]
      Except that identifying as transsexual at 12 is not the same thing with voting. It is not the same thing with sexual inter course with an adult. It is an identity, part of THEIR personality, something nobody knows more than THEY do.

      Feeling like you are of the opposite sex is not a decision although deciding to identify as one is. Identifying as trans doesn’t have the far reaching effect of choosing who the president is (which affects everyone) nor is it someone else taking advantage of you in the way that sexual relations with an adult is. It’s all about you and will essentially, affect only you.

      It’s tricky that we do not have empirical means of identifying gender just like we have the physical telltale of sex. But maybe we should not continue forcing the former based on the latter. Imagine telling a 13 year old gay boy, ‘You know what? You are probably just going through a phase. You may likely not be gay at all! Just wait until your turn 18 to be sure. In the meantime, stick to (being attracted) to girls. You can’t make this decision yet.’

      At that age, people are already deciding on their career paths; why can’t they express their identity, too?

      That you believe that you’re better off as male than if you’d choose to transition (even though I imagine that this isn’t something you thought was possible in the way that it was; something I think if it was available, you’d have taken at that point and may hold a totally different opinion about your current gender) does not mean that every other person will have the same experience and it will true universally.

      Gender identity is part of personality and just like other facets of our personality, should be crafted and owned by us, individually.

  5. Demi
    March 02, 13:56 Reply

    My question is on this foolish Iran govt forcing gays to be trans as a cure, so when they change the tops to women, what then?? Bunch of buffoons..

  6. Mitch
    March 02, 14:20 Reply

    This article is spot on!!!!!
    It succinctly depicts everything that is wrong with the trans movement today.

    I cannot, for the life of me, understand how a CHILD gets to claim they’re another biological sex entirely and is met with applause. How???

    I mean, when I was 12, I loved to cross-dress. I prayed tirelessly to wake up one morning with long hair and breasts and female parts. I felt that I wasn’t entitled to calling myself male because I was effeminate, enjoyed girls’ company more than my fellow boys, had crushes on boys, loved to ‘whine’ and belly dance as opposed to break dance or step, etc. I lived with this feeling from when I was 10 till I turned 16. Then I got really fucking comfortable in my body. Despite my overwhelming effeminacy, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was male.

    Sometimes, in our haste to support our kids, to not scar them, to create a safe haven for them, we end up reinforcing certain very obnoxiously idiotic stereotypes. I’ve read cases of effeminate or butch gay/lesbian kids who were bullied in school because of their sexualities. Meanwhile, in these same schools, trans kids were the upper echelon, the popular kids that everyone liked and wanted to be close to. It didn’t take long for these lesbian and gay kids to decide that they weren’t gay, just trans people born in the wrong bodies.

    That’s how much of a problem this lack of boundaries, this absence of a definition and delineation of what it means to be trans is causing.

    To be trans is to not just be certified gender dysphoric, but also dysmorphic. People don’t get to self- identify themselves into other sexes. That’s not just wrong, it’s foolish!

    And, like the writer said, transitioning is suddenly becoming the new conversion therapy. Heck, most of my classmates from my University days are staunch misogynistic homophobes who never miss a chance to bash gay people. Imagine my surprise and amused shock when one of the few feminists in the class brought a video of Jessica Yaniv’s case against the female immigrant spa owner and my hitherto homophobic classmates were ALL PRO-TRANS. One of them even went as far as saying that gay people should be forcefully transitioned to fit into the heteronormativity of society. And most of the class agreed with him.

    I believe trans people exist. I believe gender dysphoria and dysmorphia are real and serious issues. What I do not agree with is this self-identification that leads to the co-opting of a biological sex that isn’t yours.

    Being trans is completely different from being gay or lesbian. You’re not trans because you’re a guy who likes guys or a girl who likes girls.

    It’s a very fucking simple thing.
    And it all boils down to ‘trans-ness’ having a delineated definition with logical boundaries that cut through the murkiness to create an observable range and space for what trans-ness is. Anything short of that is a complete and total waste of time and a testament to the continued illogicality of the trans movement.

  7. trystham
    March 03, 08:04 Reply

    I had to try to process this article after there were claims that KitoDiaries was transphobic. I do not see transphobia here, just questions stemming from common sense.
    I am not even bothered about the perceived threat Transgender pose to Gay/Lesbian. I cannot imagine, for the life of me, why parents will encourage their children to be other than who they were born as at that age. It is worrisome. The other day, I made an observation as to how Caitlyn was still being referred to as Bruce in KUWTK, how he didnt seem happy, and how this transgenderism might only just be a phase.
    While there is a lot more self-awareness these days, I still cringe at the idea of hooking up with anyone younger than 20. Why? I still think they do not know who they are just yet to accept definite labels.
    It is VERY dangerous to encourage Zion/Zaya to tow this path. Watching and observing, while creating a safe environment is fine but having him/her take that final decision…I just hope it don’t bite them in the balls later

  8. Quoting the Federalist now? Yikes.

    Please look the publication up before giving them airtime next time. This rag is a rabidly right-wing one, so trust me, they are not our friends. Why do Nigerians always fall for the bad-faith arguments of those who hate us, all because we have an erroneous notion that being conservative makes one sensible? Of course Mitch will be cheering, I haven’t seen an transphobic hot take you didn’t glom on to.

    Next thing, we’ll be reading from Breitbart or The Blaze smh

  9. Farouz
    March 04, 04:30 Reply

    Gay men being transphobic lol,wetin person no go see…..you guys sound like the homophobes you complain about and to use a right wing site to justify this lord have mercy,anyways so this means 12 year olds cant acertain they are gay since they cant vote or make rational decisions noted

  10. Rorrie
    March 04, 23:33 Reply

    Why have you guys suddenly taken these positions? Trans people can’t self-identify or shouldn’t? Who will do it for them?
    If a 12 year old can decide to be a pilot in future, like boys or girls, why is it hard to believe that another 12 year old cannot identify as trans? What makes it so difficult to grasp? Because a 12 year old identifies as trans does not mean this individual is immediately placed on hormone therapy or already booked for surgery. NO!
    I can’t believe some of the points I’m seeing here. You’re sounding like the homophobes you’re constantly hating on here.

  11. Rudy
    March 05, 09:33 Reply

    I had the same sentiments reading this Rorrie! I mean as queer people, you ask us when did we know we were queer and most will tell you as far as they could remember. Why should trans people be any different? The fact that Zaya came out as gay before saying she was trans doesn’t devalue her truth just as any other gay person who before accepting they were gay might have claimed the bi-tag(which usually leads to bi-erasure by the way). If by the age of 7 year old, I knew what and who I liked, why can’t Zaya at 12 knows who she is, and mind you prior to this proclamation his parents might have been aware and observant about all her gender expression leading towards this point and they might have only been waiting for her to feel comfortable enough to come out. After coming out they seek counselling and therapy for the whole family as a whole before moving towards the next stage. How then do anybody discredit or question their decision???
    I wholeheartedly applaud Dwayne and Gabrielle for acting as good role models.
    If some of us had had such accepting parents and family we wouldn’t have suffered half or none of the mental stress we might have gone through.
    Let the family be!
    Besides there isn’t anything like a reversed transgenderism(as if she’s in the near future going to change her mind and go back to being a guy 💁🏽‍♂️).
    And y’all discussing this issue as if its some sort of confusion the people involved goes through in their early stages and hence requires enough time to decide well for themselves and sort out their emotions and beliefs (something which hits close to home especially to gay people).

  12. Mr robot
    March 05, 16:32 Reply

    Hmmm since a 12 year old cant identify as trans so i’m guessing this same logic justifies the claims by homophobes that kids cant ascertain their sexuality at that age too?
    Being trans isnt even more acceptable than being gay or bi as implied by the article not when the life expectancy of the average trans woman is 35,access to employment is limited hence why the rate of sex work within the community is quite high,they are denied medical care,they are more prone to harrassment from police etc
    A lot of the comments keep alluding to the genitals of zaya being reconstructed and like homie there are processes put in place for adults to go through before embarking on transitioning entirely and you think this doesnt apply to 12 year olds,all they said was that her prounons were she/her and here you all are being intrusive in relations to a 12 year old genital and you guys dont think thats creepy
    The logic that this transphopic and misinformed post is fostering conversation justifies thinkpieces of right wing sites that publishes homophobic articles which adds to the further marginalisation of the targeted group,i hope y’all keep this same energy when this occurs but i know your cis privilege wouldn’t want to acknowledge that
    A marginalised person who isnt hesitant in punching down on a more marginalised person scares me cause youre practically mirroring the actions of your oppressor and the fact that your oppression hasn’t broadened your empathy towards people who experience oppression differently from you,its okay to not understand trans ideology but it would serve trans people better if you left them alone after all this is the same courtesy you ask of homophobes

  13. Francis
    March 07, 14:35 Reply

    Truth hurts but this piece is just TRANSPHOBIA! 🤦🏽‍♂️ #TheEnd

  14. Emerie
    August 02, 20:22 Reply

    I guess am transphobic then cuz I v a different opinion…I don’t believe there should be more to gender than wats btw ur legs…. I feel transgender is the product of societies perception of gender roles…. I don’t believe because u like or feel more comfortable doing or behaving like wat society says a woman should behave like , means u v go to a doctor to make u look like a woman to fit into wat society says gender should be ……. There is no such thing as being a “Man” or a “Woman”. The only thing dat makes u a man or woman is the gentile btw ur legs dat u were born with if u give more meaning to dat then u v been damaged….. Am a preacher of self love and acceptance and not changing anything about urself to fit societies perspective.I feel transgender people v internalized dis perspective dat gender is much more Dan the thing btw ur legs dat they v become embodiments of the stereotypes of the gender they acquire…. Well at the end of the day people still v the right to do wat ever they like with their bodies and shouldn’t be hated for it. So personally I don’t dislike trans people I just don’t agree with their narrative and I do acknowledge the conditions dat lead to it tho… Ps. Homosexuality is something u v no control over … U r very much in control of wat u choose to do to ur boby and the changes u make to it…. so they r very different….

Leave a Reply