7:58 PM, Somewhere on this planet…

“Let’s have a quickie,” he whispers as he gathers me into his arms.

And because I’m a very lazy person, in my mind, I’m thinking how a quickie should last about five to ten minutes, and then I’d be done from here and on my way home.

Forty-five minutes later, he is still digging inside me as though he’s looking for his lost treasure. I’m lying on my front, thinking: But wait o, shey it’s a quickie we are supposed to be having. Oga, I’m now tired please.

While I’m still trying to figure out what to do with this situation that has stretched from a quickie to something else entirely, he leans in close to my ear and whispers, “Should I cum now?”

Eh!!! I am instantly outraged. Wait first, let me understand something. So, you’ve been holding your cum all this time? How? So, people can hold cum and decide when to release it? My friend, please cum and let me go biko!

But of course, I sweetly reply, “Yes, please.”

And no sooner have I spoken than he begins to have seizure-like jerks on top of me as he ejaculates into the condom buried deep inside me.


8:45 AM, Same place on this planet…

It is a second meet and we have been at it for the past forty minutes, with me making him pause every few minutes because of the excruciating pain that comes with enduring his pistol of a dick.

I’m thinking to myself: Shey I will not go and become a side sef. Because this bottoming business is starting to stress my body, my soul and my ticket to heaven.

I am on my back this time, and I open my eyes to look at his face, watching the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He is really hard at work. His eyes are closed as he moves his hips in the in-and-out thrusting motion.

Then I hear the words. He grunts them harshly.

“Should I cum?”

Oh dear, not again!

It seems this is a pattern for him. So, what if I say, “No, don’t cum,” does it mean we would be here for hours pending the time I give my permission? What’s with this question sef?

But then, I’m already too exhausted to even attempt exploring the “No, don’t cum” option, so I say a quiet “Yes.” And in no time, he is disposing his boys inside me.

Since I became sexually active, I’ve not really enjoyed sex. I find myself enjoying the foreplay better than the penetrative sex. Perhaps this is because whenever I think of sex, pain is the only thing my brain registers. The sharp pain of the first entry that passes from my spine to my brain. The lengthened pain of the repeated thrusts, especially the hard thrusts that make it feel like my stomach will ripped open any time. burst open. In fact, I believe it has only been once that I’ve had sex that wasn’t so painful.

Whenever I ask around for advice regarding this issue I have with penetrative sex, I hear words like “Oh, you’re not relaxing enough. Try to take your mind away from the pain” and “You have to use plenty lube. No amount of lube should ever be enough as far as the Bottom is concerned.”

This has become why I go into sex praying it shouldn’t last long. I pray the guy about to top me be a three-minute man.

And maybe, that is why the “Should I cum” question makes me feel like you’re not even reading my body language to see that I’m trying to make this a painless exercise. I feel as though gay porn is misleading. Who says we must go at it for two hours for it to be hot? Most times, when I watch the Bottoms whimper or yelp in pain as they’re penetrated, my heart goes out to them because I know how that pain feels. But in my experience, some Tops would hear that sound and think of it as a moan, an encouragement to thrust in even harder, instead of as a check to take things easy.

Well, I think the three times I’ve had sex this year are enough for me. Till next year biko. I cannot coman go and kill myself. I really don’t know, maybe I’m lazy, maybe I’m not relaxed, maybe I don’t know the quantity of lube that works for me. Or maybe I should just become a side and kuku rest.

Written by Peace

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  1. Vally
    October 29, 08:04 Reply

    Whenever I complain to people about how tiring bottoming is … All i get z relax very well,use plenty lube and remove your mind from the pain… Some even go the the extent of calling me lazy..

    My dear friend please you cannot come and go and kill yourself.. SEX SHOULD NEVER BE ENDURED.

    • Pink Panther
      October 29, 08:11 Reply

      “Sex Should Never Be Endured.”

      That right there is a sermon.

        • Dan
          October 29, 12:41 Reply

          Send me the guy number i can hold it

          • Peace
            October 29, 20:24 Reply

            You really want Cutler X’s number? Eh Dan!

    • Peace
      October 29, 09:31 Reply

      Asin ehhh I can’t comman go and kill myself. Thank you

    • slender
      October 29, 20:41 Reply

      Welcome to my Sex life, i feel like the synonym of difficult should be “Bottom”, that thing didnt choose me well, same thing i heard was you’re not relaxing enough. Try to take your mind away from the pain” and “You have to use plenty lube, is it untill somebody shift my womb, biko i am not difficulting sorry, i meant bottoming anymore.

      now whenever i am asked that question “Whats your role?”
      Me: RollerCoaster nioo!

    • Synnick
      October 30, 18:40 Reply

      Well..deep breathing exercises relaxes you and try playing with your put your mind off the pain..At least that works for me ??‍♂️

  2. Higwe
    October 29, 08:25 Reply

    Forty-five minutes later, he is still digging inside me as though he’s looking for his lost treasure.

    This took me out ??????

    But seriously though …the few times I’ve bottomed , it wasn’t a dulcet experience , but I was getting paid so I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel .

    I don’t see myself bottoming ever in a “relationship ” or casual fling .

    Stringent bottoms should be listed as super heroes … because hey man …shit ( literally) ain’t easy. ?

    But Peace , you’re one crazy dude .

    Weren’t you the one that lost track of your destination while having fantasies involving your driver ????

    • Peace
      October 29, 09:33 Reply

      Bịa Higwe, kpachara anya gị! Shebi I asked you to give me chief daddy you dịnnor agree. By now I should have been in Canada or Dubai. ???

      Be kiaful!

    • Don
      October 29, 22:36 Reply

      Pay me too make i bottom for you

  3. BlackPope
    October 29, 08:39 Reply

    Nna ehen, nothing we no hear for this life oh… “should I cum?” ? ? ?

    That question alone can make me push you off like, you’re trying to suffocate me Chaii…
    Jeez!!! that dude should be given the book of, words to say and words not to say during sex… ?

    My dear, if foreplay is your thing, please stick to fore playing oh, probably wen you grow up you wee start allowing penetration or better still look for a medium or small dick to start with fess.

    U went for big strokes, now see what big stroke is causing you… ?

    • Peace
      October 29, 09:36 Reply

      Hehehehehe. I’ve learnt my lesson, I’ll be on th look out for medium strokes henceforth ????.

  4. trystham
    October 29, 09:59 Reply

    Well, since its already Nov, I would agree to your limit. If to say na April…

    • Peace
      October 29, 11:04 Reply

      Would you be shocked if I told that this was since June?

  5. Flex254
    October 29, 10:54 Reply

    If you try bottoming next year, your ass gonna be tighter so prepare for some more dosage of painsssss..

    • Peace
      October 29, 11:05 Reply

      Okay so what’s your suggestion? Pray tell.

  6. Femi
    October 29, 11:26 Reply

    I have since become a side biko… I cant even deal with the pains that comes with it. I cannot come and kill myself

    • Nathan Bloom
      October 31, 11:25 Reply

      Preach brother preach… Me too I’m a foreplay person too just like Peace said.

  7. Mitch
    October 29, 13:30 Reply


    My darling, I’ve told you this before. You’re not the problem. Neither is your mind or your body.

    You just don’t know exactly what you want. At least, not yet. So, you keep trying to experiment, to experience it all so you can know exactly what you want.

    Just, take some time off and examine yourself, your reactions to penetrative sex and non-penetrative sex. Study your body and note your reactions and responses to each one. You’d get your answer that way.

    And, please, whatever you do, just send that guy my way. Ahn ahn! See man that can control himself to give me the hours long dicking that I need. Biko, Peace, let the Lord use you in my life. Abeg??

      • Mitch
        October 29, 13:36 Reply

        *wears mayoral hat, carries shoulders up, takes a bow and walks away*

    • Peace
      October 29, 20:17 Reply

      St mitch, power bottom of the world. Pray for us.

    • Pup
      October 31, 23:52 Reply

      Come and help me jarey I’m a straight guy that wants to explore

      • Pink Panther
        October 31, 23:55 Reply

        A straight guy that wants to explore? ?
        Explore what exactly?

        • Pup
          November 01, 00:50 Reply

          I have already been doing anal masturbation for a while now and I want to experience the real thing

    • Pup
      November 01, 00:47 Reply

      I’m new looking for someone to take me through this journey … Hope you don’t mind

  8. Mike
    October 29, 14:42 Reply

    Was madly obsessed over this Capricorn guy, I thought we had it good, dated for two weeks, then the nigga upped and broke up with me, one afternoon when I asked him to come over. I never really figured out why, cause I was obsessed, I mean Capricorn and chubby, perfect combo “CC”. So I spent like two years trying to get him back, e no gree. Last year he asked me, I’m i the only one you have cause I know you have a lot of people, I was like yeah but I will give them up for you. I was actually honest, I think. The nigga didn’t answer, 10 mins later he was like “mike, I can’t bottom again, please I just can’t”. Lol, it was like the weight of the world off my shoulders, cause I finally got my closure, deleted his number the next day.

    Point is I thought bottoming is supposed to be something that comes naturally to some people, like where there is a key, there is always a padlock.

    I use to warn people, baba I am not big but I wouldn’t advice anybody to take me for a long time, cause I have seen the repercussions of this things, the person in question is my ex, had to get surgery.

    • Kelvin
      October 29, 15:43 Reply

      You haven’t met me yet???
      I’m not promiscuous but I wonder how I can take dick with little or no pain. even the moment I had my first sex, it wasn’t as painful as I have read countless of testimonies on the pains of first anal sex. I guess I’m a “natural bottom though” if that phrase even exists lol

      • Peace
        October 29, 20:26 Reply

        Do you have a training academy?? I’m willing to enroll… ?

        • Ebube Omari
          October 31, 23:23 Reply

          Umu uwa!
          Kai Jehova ???
          Bottoming has landed me in the ER before o!.
          I do not like it cos it’s so traumatizing and shit judging from my first experience that landed me in the ER. Yet deep down I wanna try. when I try,shit happens and I see myself wanting to try again.
          Ike just gwum nnoo!
          I just kuku wank if I don’t get an ass to dig for a few minutes biko.

      • ju
        October 29, 22:39 Reply


        How do you do it?

        Damn, i always cry when ever i bottom. It’s painful except small dicks.

        • Kelvin
          October 30, 03:19 Reply

          @Ju Honestly I don’t know, it just a natural gift I guess. The universe has found its way to subject me to bottoming. With this I prefer to bottom than topping.

      • Teeze90
        October 30, 18:05 Reply

        This is me right here.
        Never felt that pain people complain about even on my first time.
        And that thing people say about feeling numb for days sef sound strange to me o. After 1 hour my bodi don forget say i do sumtim sef.

      • Pup
        October 31, 23:48 Reply

        I’m new and I want to experience dick, I won’t mind with an advice or two

    • Pink Panther
      October 29, 18:42 Reply

      What a beautiful advertisement of your kporo. ??
      Any takers in the house? Mike has a big dick that can destroy wombs and manginas

    • Sugacandy
      October 29, 19:53 Reply

      LOLz if u come my way the story Will be the other way a sex machine only if u can handle my mangiana well.

    • Peace
      October 29, 20:22 Reply

      “the person in question is my ex, had to get surgery”

      Let’s talk about this cause it’s very scary. Was it a rough one? Were your thrusts forceful? What happened that warranted a surgery Ọ dị egwu!!
      I’m legit scared.

  9. Sim
    October 29, 15:23 Reply

    This cracked me up ??? sorry though.

    • Sim
      October 29, 19:13 Reply

      Please what Sim are you?
      Pinky what’s happening? I hope this Sim, have good intentions cus I have seen enough to wanna low low.

    • Pink Panther
      October 29, 23:16 Reply

      Erm, Oga Sim who’s cracked up, the moniker you’re using has been taken already by a regular member of this community. Do you think you could pick something else please?

    October 29, 17:35 Reply

    One man’s meat…

    I think it’s all a personal thing sha. What works for you may not work for the other person. Bottoming for as long as 45mins and beyond can be extremely pleasure for some bottoms and harrowing for others. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Cut your coat according to your cloth…

  11. Gerrard
    October 29, 19:46 Reply

    I have bottomed many times its not a big deal

  12. Kristo
    October 29, 20:19 Reply

    This has become why I go into sex praying it shouldn’t last long. I pray the guy about to top me be a three-minute man.

    This had me laughing hard

    I have had two experiences with bottoms.
    .one almost cried was quite tedious really …the other just laid there didnt even grunt or anything I was amazed at a point I was doing the slow-mo grinding kinni to avoid pain ..he was like are u tired ???

    I SHOOK!


  13. Kristo
    October 29, 20:20 Reply

    This has become why I go into sex praying it shouldn’t last long. I pray the guy about to top me be a three-minute man.

    This had me laughing hard

    I have had two experiences with bottoms.
    .one almost cried was quite tedious really …the other just laid there didnt even grunt or anything I was amazed at a point I was doing the slow-mo grinding kinni to avoid pain ..he was like are u tired ???

    I SHOOK!



    • Don
      October 29, 22:42 Reply

      Small dick works best for me.

  14. Lyanna
    October 30, 00:07 Reply

    ??So KD now has two Sims..Sim1 &2. Which is the main Sim? I can be Sim3 if you don’t mind.

  15. Kelvin
    October 30, 03:24 Reply

    @pinky you cam for the needful on the link up with mike.. lol. Man’s gotta experience that Dick *winks*

  16. Jake
    October 30, 06:49 Reply

    I thought I was the only one that can’t do this bottoming thing, some days I just want to do foreplay and move on. Man cannot come and die on top of penis! This days I’ll rather just wank and be great. I’ve Kuku accepted that I’m now a side.

    • Nathan Bloom
      October 31, 11:31 Reply

      Please I’m looking for sides like me too… Any chance pinky link us up and any other sides out there. I think we r a rare element to find in Nature.

      • Pink Panther
        October 31, 11:46 Reply

        A rare element to find in nature. ??? I don’t know why that cracked me up so much.

        • Nathan Bloom
          October 31, 11:54 Reply

          Hahahahaha…. Yes na. You tell people I’m a side and they will start looking as if u introduced yourself as Albert Einstein, saying who is that?

          • Pink Panther
            October 31, 13:04 Reply

            LMAO! My dear, I totally get it. Y’all are truly rare, and there’s such an undeserved discrimination against Sides in our community over how “abnormal” your sexual role is. Something that’s ironic, considering how we, as a community, are discriminated against for the kind of “abnormal” sex we have.

  17. Tristan
    October 30, 09:39 Reply

    That’s why I love foreplay. Foreplay gets me emotionally ready to be receptive.

    There was dick guy his dick was so big and long that I needed a lot of foreplay before the actual thing, he was like “Dont you like sex?” With all my readiness, unku was a two-minute noodle.

  18. Uche
    October 30, 15:40 Reply

    There are lubes that have numbing abilities. Maybe you should try them out.

    • Doulton
      October 31, 11:21 Reply

      Numbing ke?
      Is it safe?
      So one wouldn’t because of dick suffer stuff later on.

  19. PP
    October 30, 16:21 Reply

    Where have i been knowing KD has the best comment session?

    Besides what’s been a SIDE?

  20. Sheun
    November 02, 01:09 Reply

    You guys are so hilarious

  21. Earl
    November 04, 15:03 Reply

    I propose the motion for a group chat for sides should be created. Let us know ourselves

    • Nathan Bloom
      November 04, 15:15 Reply

      I concur. Can Pink Panther please make this happen? Thank you in anticipation

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