Kito Stories

KITO ALERT! XXXIII

According to Facebook, his name is Jay Mide Bash and he is based in Lagos.

His number is 08124206116.

And he operates from Facebook, even though it can be assumed that his operation is not exclusive to the social media. He also uses the illusion of a public place meeting as a way to draw his victims, by asking whoever has been chatting with him to come see him at his shop in Computer Village.

Below is the story narrated by a guy who recently escaped getting kitoed by him.

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We’ve been chatting since January. He lives here in Ikeja. We even video-call, so I was pretty comfortable with knowing him. He kept inviting me over to see him but I was never chanced, always giving him excuses. Finally, I had time and I called him about coming to see him. He told me to meet him at his shop in Computer Village.

When I got there, he told me to have a seat and offered me a drink. Before I knew it, some guys started coming into the shop one after the other. Nothing out of the ordinary registered with me. He asked me if I had airtime on my phone, that he doesn’t have credit and he would like to use my phone to flash someone.

The moment I handed my phone over to him, the next thing I heard was: “We don catch you today!” All the guys were suddenly closing in on me. One of them had a knife which he flashed before my eyes while saying, “You better cooperate if you don’t want to die.”

Then they asked me how much I had in my account. Luckily for me, I didn’t come out with my ATM card. I told them I had nothing in my account. They got upset, threatening to take me to the police station, that I will spend 20 years in jail. I started begging them but they wouldn’t listen.

Then I told them I had someone I can call to send money to them, and Jay Mide Bash gave me back my phone. The second I got my phone, I started shouting, raising alarm. People swiftly gathered and I was immediately telling them about how the guys were trying to steal from me. That I don’t know him, that we met on Facebook and I don’t know what juju he used on me to get me to come here so they would extort money from me.

Trust Nigerians! Once you add the supernatural element, you’ve got them. The crowd turned on them, demanding answers. They were stammering, and to make their own case worse, three of them broke free and fled. They grabbed Jay Mide Bash and began beating him. And I was free to go.

*

So there. May we continue to stay ALERT and BOLD.

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23 Comments

    1. And 2. Never ever ever go to a hookup with anything but the barest essentials. No ATM card. Your exact transport money in your wallet. Wipe off all texts pertaining to your account balance. And if possible, go with a smaller phone that’s not a smartphone.

    2. Then I’m doomed. I can’t cause a scene to save my soul ?.

      Even my “ole” doesn’t sound convincing to even me?

    3. Then when they pull your trousers down and see your chocolatey dick dangling in all its flaccid gloriousness, you’ll now say what??

    4. These are truly pertinent things to note and imbibe but mehn, when you remember all the protocol involved in hooking up in this country, you’ll rather register in the Coventry of Celibacy and Abstinence.

      *sigh*

    5. Yhu and yhur hookup protocol, operation get fucked or die trying. Yhu always err on the side of logic, this things ain’t exactly logical.

      Yhu go go , with yhu and yhur 007 tactics, get fucked and still get kitoed.

      Got introduced to a guy, new in town, hooked up day one, day two when day three came he began to sign another different song, lost my fone and laptop plus 35 k, to quill that issue.

      Duo I think me coming out with my feelings to him on the night of day two, is what freaked him out, point is nigga liked it, day one, day two then day three shouldn’t be different but it was.

      Besides all this yhur mastermind protocols takes the fun outta the whole, I might sink or swim situation “hookup”, cause the possibility of danger or a good fuck only makes it exciting.

    6. That even makes you worst than them, why kill the guy? I know they tried to kito him but killing him is not an option

    7. plus never go with your id card, i’ve been in a situation where i had to cook up stories and a new identity just to free myself 🙂

  1. Why didn’t you shout “E don theif my penis oooooo, ritualist oooooo! Epp me!” Let them put tyre on his head and burn him alive. Bastard and Nonsense. Mtcheeeews

  2. Two things I took out of this: 1. Never hand your phone to the hookup you’ve gone to see. The same thing happened in that last kito story. The scum asked to see his phone, and the story changed once the phone exchanged hands. If they’ve not started showing their true colours before asking for your phone, never hand it over.

    “Can I see your phone?”

    “Why?”

    “To flash somebody.”

    “I’m sorry, I don’t have credit.”

    “Can I check out the music/pictures I’m your phone?”

    “No. I don’t have any files in my media gallery.”

    Don’t be too shy to lie to the guy you’re meeting for the first time about your personal belonging.

  3. I think its time all this kito stories bear the pictures of both the kito-er and the kitoed, it takes two to tango, why is the kito-er the one always getting outted ,after all na yhu carry yhur leg go.

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