Dear Diary,

It is over between Tim and me. And I keep telling myself it is all for good.

After our initial hookup, things became like a montage in a romantic Hollywood movie. At least twice a week, we would hit each other up, requesting to meet. The sex remained great. The exploration, the intensity and the rapturous climax always made the following week something to look forward to. He even sent me a friend’s request on Facebook, one which took me a long time to accept because I thought it was weird and we were moving too fast.

Of course, he claimed I was the only guy he was hooking up with, but I knew it was a lie because my catfish/stalking game proved otherwise. He constantly fell into the trap of inviting these fake personas I created. I kept telling myself not to be bothered by all that, that all that mattered was he liked me, we had a great time together and every time was better that the last.

The circle was always the same: the invitation text, me driving to the parking lot near his house, him ranting about his day, his job and bills, and then the silence that followed as soon as I took off my clothes. I had the impression that he was a liar or at least exaggerated most of his stories but I told myself he was just a regular FWB and that that was all that mattered.

That was till my stalking game caught a big-sized trophy.

You may remember, Dear Diary, that I talked about a super hot guy that never replied my messages when I used to hit him up on Grindr. Well, he decided to add his Instagram link to his profile and I got the shock of my life. I clicked on the link to his IG and it opened up a vast page of pictures. His name is Mark and he is a fitness and underwear model. When I say underwear model, think Calvin Klein. He is hot, cute, and just about my age. I kept navigating through his page till I landed on a picture taken in a very familiar place. I looked hard at the picture, trying to figure out where this familiar location was.

And then it hit me. It was Tim’s bathroom! At this point, I was in an inexplicably weird mood. I started going through Mark’s page all over again and I saw more pictures taken in Tim’s bedroom, bathroom and car. Endless pictures, with one snapshot taken quite recently, judging from the date it was uploaded.

I didn’t know how to feel. Jealous maybe, because this Mark is a FUCKING 10! His body is to die for. Mad! Or pissed because Tim was a FUCKING liar! Or pleased because, even with having a hot guy like Mark, Tim still called me up on the regular.

I went into an overdrive of stalking and investigating every social media page and reading into every picture. The deeper I went, the more I unearthed more pictures taken in Tim’s house. I didn’t understand the relationship. They didn’t follow each other on any social media platform. Tim didn’t have a picture of Mark on any of his social media pages, but Mark had endless photos taken in Tim’s house, even though there was no pic with Tim on his page. Some pictures, I felt, had to have been definitely taken by Tim.

I told myself not to judge or reach any conclusions on what I didn’t know or understand, but I kept digging deep until, as if fate had it out for me, I logged on to Grindr one day, and their profile pictures were side by side. They were obviously in the same location. My instinct pushed me again to check Mark’s Instagram page, and sure enough, a recent picture in Tim’s bathroom had just been uploaded.

I was furious. I was mad. I endlessly tried to soothe myself with the words: “It’s Grindr, what did you expect?” or “Of course, Mark is a hot guy, were you expecting Tim to leave him for you?” I started to fall into that emotional state I hate so much, one where I feel played on and helpless because there is nothing I can do. I swore never to take Tim’s words seriously. He was a damn liar! But then again, I asked myself why I was taking whatever we had seriously. The rule was never to take any guy on Grindr seriously. Never ever!

A Friday came and Tim hit me up in the evening, requesting for a meet. At this point, after all the information I’d gathered, I wasn’t as enthusiastic about meeting him the way I used to feel. So when a colleague at work invited me over for game night at his place, I quickly accepted and messaged Tim that I had an event to attend, hoping to inform him later that I wouldn’t be able to come over because the event ended very late.

I went for the game night, got carried away and forgot about the plan. I didn’t text him the excuse I’d intended. I slept almost all day on Saturday and logged into Grindr on Sunday. Minutes later, Tim sent me a message.

I was waiting for you on Friday. Why didn’t you come, he inquired.

I explained that I left the event late and forgot to inform him of my inability to come to his place. He continued with this endless guilt trip rant about how he had never turned me down anytime I wanted to see him, and how he was always available when I needed him. Being the talker that he is, the messages were coming in endlessly.

Then I decided to be petty and replied: I guess you called another guy to come over.

This must have angered him greatly (in a way that made me suspect that he did invite another guy over), because he typed back: Are you dumb? Are you calling me a hoe?

Then the endless rant of messages started again. Messages endlessly pouring in at a pace I couldn’t even catch up with to read. I apologized, but his messages, showing a rage I felt was fake and unnecessary, kept flooding my screen.

Without thinking then, I sent him the “Peace out” emoji, and while he was still typing, I hit the Block button.

And instantly regretted it.

Written by Duke

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K’osidim n’obi (Entry 9)

So this month marked the ninth month anniversary of bae and I being together. It hasn’t always been a smooth ride of course. There are days when you’d seriously look


  1. Mitch
    August 23, 07:06 Reply

    Hian! Regretted rapturing a miserable excuse for a human being? You’re just too good, di anyi.

    • Mandy
      August 23, 07:16 Reply

      You too dey vex, Mitch. Ah! Kilode?

      • Mitch
        August 23, 07:53 Reply

        Hian eh! Is it ya vex? Leff me oh lemme vexing my vexing and be wenting???

  2. Francis
    August 23, 07:10 Reply

    Over ke?! And you is here regretting it?! *awaits unplanned continuation”

  3. Mandy
    August 23, 07:15 Reply

    Lol. Duke, you’re simply one of a kind. The more I read your entries eh, the more I realize how different people are. First of all, all that psychological torture you were putting yourself through over a sexual relationship that is purely about sex. You couldn’t just kick back and relax and enjoy how not-exclusive you two might’ve been. and then all that investigation over his hooking up with Mark… ??? Di anyi, idi too much.
    Tbh, I think you reacted too soon. Tim owed you nothing emotionally. you shouldn’t have been so provocative. It’s not as though you two defined what you had. So even if he lies to you about his hookups, that shouldn’t piss you off.

  4. pagxy
    August 23, 07:46 Reply

    His human that’s what it means.@mandy

  5. Lord Naughtiness
    August 23, 07:54 Reply

    Same thing I thought @mandy…the only thing I think Tim did wrong was to tell u that u were the only one he was hooking up with.. Truth is since twas just good sex, there was no need for the explanations.. And I think u are angry at something else, u angry that the hot guy who doesn’t reply u, replies Tim and they good friends… And what makes u so sure they were having sex… They could have just been friends who didn’t follow each other on social network or keep each others pic… U shoulda just dropped the ego in the basket and asked it… #overreacting_much

  6. Mohammad
    August 23, 08:15 Reply

    You may have been right, but did you consider that Mark may have simply been a lodger?
    Gra-gra on fleek

  7. Andrevn
    August 23, 08:18 Reply

    Mark is Tim’s high-budget brother.

  8. bruno
    August 23, 08:28 Reply

    you need to find healthier gay communities than grindr. the place is toxic and won’t do anything for your development as a person or even help you find the type of relationship you seem to seek.

    • You don't say..
      August 23, 08:57 Reply

      Are you the same bruno from bella naija? Seems people over there miss you..always seeing comments asking of you

    • You don't say..
      August 23, 08:53 Reply

      Nelson Mandela.
      If only every African leader had even 2% of the nobilty he possessed what a continent this would be!

    August 23, 08:53 Reply

    Dear Duke, your blood too dey hot! and you couldn’t ask Tim about Mark? At least get to give him the benefit of doubt? Based on your account, it was the jealousy that Yom was getting it from someone way hotter than you, which pushed you to act the way you did. What makes you so sure they were Fucking? They could have been friends or something other than. Sexual… Truth is, you basically reduced being gay to having sex, which is one of the things KD trumpeters always condemn ?

  10. ambivalentone
    August 23, 09:37 Reply

    Apparently u had started getting attached. Given all that online stalking. While I also do think u cud av asked, I’m not sure the answer u’d get would be to ur liking.

  11. Delle
    August 23, 09:51 Reply

    Regretted it? Lust is talking…
    Good riddance biko. Tim, sashay away!

  12. Klaus
    August 23, 10:21 Reply

    smh, you have many issues. fix them before they ruins something potentially good .

  13. Saude
    August 23, 10:27 Reply

    Tim and Mark might be room/flat mates you know? Y’all should stop judging too fast.

  14. Dickson Clement
    August 23, 10:58 Reply

    Dear Duke,

    Pls, do get back to Mr. Tim and have a discussion about your findings, let him tell you his own version of the story you have put together.
    Right now, he hasn’t lied to you. Secondly, I think you do love Tim. Tell him how you feel, if you want an exclusive relationship, tell him that’s what u want.
    If you just want the sex, then you have no right to get angry! In which case you should be closer to him now, so you could meet Mark! (underwear Models are fun to be with you know!)

    Best Regards
    Dickson Clement

    • Saude
      August 23, 11:53 Reply

      Thanks Dickson. My thought exactly. Whatever happened to communication?

    • Delle
      August 23, 15:37 Reply

      Which kain exclusive relationship? No o, we don’t want (well until you’re done with this series). Until then, having an exclusive relationship would defeat the purpose of this series biko.
      Duke cannot be in love. His mind is playing games with him…

    • Peak
      August 23, 16:12 Reply

      -Discussion about findings?
      -Version of his story?
      -Love Tim kwa?

      Lol, DC no make me laff abeg. You might want to reacquaint urself with his previous entries to know what Duke is about. I sha de here de wait for the continuation of this gist.

    August 23, 15:51 Reply

    You would v asked, Uh might not know who Nark is to him… He can’t just be taking pictures in same bathroom…
    there’s something else and if u had enquired i think u won’t be regretting now or there might not be any blocking sef…

  16. ZJ
    August 24, 10:34 Reply

    lol eyahh this happens alot the same rule of

    The rule is never to take any guy on Grindr seriously. Never ever!

    the fact that you met him there means both of you are that kind of people Wz, there is this story am itch to tell you but i dont wana spoil the fun by telling u the end, after our first hook up when we connected we looked eachother and in the end and i told him to look at my phone and i uninstalled Grinder in front of him loooooool it was an OMG moment i said i have found what m looking for no need to search further he too smile and said me too ,, and did the same looool as i speak we are both online on grinder º 😀 *°❥°º 😀 *”loolzz❥° 😀 º g2g meeting, i find this site distracting btw

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