The Whore Chronicles

The Whore Chronicles

The following events occurred over a period of four days – Saturday to Tuesday. (Monday and Tuesday were public holidays).

The week before had seen me exceptionally expectant over lots of things, from upcoming results and reviews to basically life-changing decisions to be made by other people on my behalf, that I had absolutely no control over. And that’s where I have a problem; I love to control and plan. All these factors led to unprecedented levels of anxiety that I don’t think I have ever faced except when I’m waiting for HIV test results. My anxiety actually peaked to the point I had to excuse myself in the middle of a class, locked myself in a toilet stall and began saying a prayer to God, while mentally digging out the bible passage my sister told me to read for my anxiety. Philippians 4: 6-7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” This was actually a really big deal, because I am never one to pay reverence to anyone or any organized religion. It’s just that for one of the first few times, I felt completely handicapped, and like the mortal black man when faced with the unknown, I turned to religion as opposed to being my usual analytical self. I was expecting all the feedback on Friday. If for any reason, the feedback didn’t come on Friday, I would have to wait till the following Wednesday because of some messy two-day public holiday.

I stayed home in bed all day on Friday (no class), wrapped myself up and ensured my phone was charged and with adequate cell phone reception at all times. The smallest of sounds from my phone made me jump. 4pm came with no news and I knew I had to wait till Wednesday. I’d spent the whole day a total wreck, went to bed that Friday night a wreck, and woke up on Saturday a complete mess.

I definitely wasn’t going to stay home all day and night and lose my mind. So I made up my mind to go out and party, dance, drink and just fellowship in the midst of my fellow gay brethren. Nothing brings me greater joy than seeing guys queen out in the club and me getting groped all over. And I was in no mood to go out partying with friends at some straight club; I needed to feel just testosterone.

And so, it was Grindr to the rescue, because I wasn’t willing to go clubbing alone. I found a couple of guys online who wanted to just have fun and party. I decided to join them, and we rendezvoused at a sauna. This would be my first time in a sauna in that city. But I didn’t get what I thought I came for. Apparently, what I walked into was a horny white madam, some old white power bottom actively recruiting black able-bodied boys, and by God, I was legitimately pissed, because I was led there under false pretences by a much younger looking profile image. However, I wasn’t going to let the money I ponied up for entrance into the sauna go to waste, so I got naked and watched as they swarm towards me like fly to shit. I left after about 40 minutes, as I wasn’t into the whole shindig. I left the sauna in one piece, but slightly intoxicated and with lighter balls 🙂

The night was still young, so I got back on Grindr. Some cute guy said to come over for the night. He was just the kind of guy I like; curly hair, seemed tall on the phone, nice smile and with a good command of the English language. When I got to his place, we went straight to the bedroom. He seemed just content with touching my body and that was enough to bring him over the edge twice with me fingering him. All I wanted at this point was to sleep; I eventually did so, and we slumbered all night till the early hours of Sunday afternoon. Then we had sex and it was meh; again, he seemed more interested in touching me than getting fucked, which was fine with me. I just didn’t want to be alone.

Soon, after a shower, I left his place. I had a quick lunch, and then proceeded to take a tour of the city with its newly installed Christmas sights and scenes. I went to a few shops to window-shop and the strongest urge to be in a committed relationship hit me. I wanted my biggest problem to be what to get my boyfriend for Christmas. But alas, no boyfriend!

This new urge for a boyfriend, for love drove me back to Grindr. Some guy had messaged me, saying, “Scat”. Normally I would just ignore such a message, but I was so intrigued that I replied, asked for a location, and let my dick guide me.scat

On getting to the guy’s penthouse apartment, I discovered that he had grown way chubbier than the images he sent me. But that wasn’t going to deter me from this new experience. We chitchatted for approximately two minutes, during which I learned that he was Russian and a fellow school mate. Then we got straight to business, kissing which did absolutely nothing for me. But the chubby son of Putin did know how to suck dick well. All this took roughly five minutes, after which he laid down on the floor and told me to squat over his face. I did, and he jammed his tongue up my asshole while rubbing his grubby fat hands all over my abs and balls. By now, I was limp as fuck, and also extremely tense and nervous.

So there I was, naked, squatting over some guy’s face and about to take a dump with a beautiful view of the city by night before me. And he said to me, “Take it slow… Feed it to me slowly.” I pushed and he murmured, “Hmm, I see it coming.” I gave him a little piece to see what exactly his plan was, and I swear he gobbled it up completely while asking me simultaneously if I was enjoying it.

About five to ten minutes and three droppings later, I’d had enough. And the real shocker was, he wanted to kiss me after munching on my shit. I politely declined, and asked for the toilet. But he wasn’t done with me; he wanted me to also pee on him. This I gladly did and enjoyed tremendously, although I wasn’t too comfortable with the fact that he was drinking my urine. I used the toilet thereafter, had a quick shower in the gross and dirty bathroom, and then I bolted with promises to keep in touch. I never looked back as I walked out of that apartment.

Upon leaving the Russian’s place, I was really shaken up and famished. I decided to take a walk through the nighttime Christmas village and get something to eat. I also wanted a drink.

After a very light dinner snack and roaming the city at night, I was back on Grindr. I started chatting with some guy (40 year old Grindr age, muscled and tattooed daddy) with intentions to just have a drink. But who was I kidding? I fell in love the moment I entered his apartment. He had a bar that rivaled that of any lounge, bar or club. It was that impressive. Plus he was cute, all salt-and-pepper beards, shaved head, really strongly accented-and-faltering English; these all came together to give him a charm I found irresistible. He made me try a locally brewed white wine. It tasted lovely. We drank and laughed till the bottle was empty. Then he stood up and walked into the bedroom, and gestured to me to come to him. I didn’t hesitate. I walked straight into his arms and into a mind-shattering kiss. Shoes came off, clothes came off, and we got into bed. We made out extensively before proceeding to 69. Now, we never had any talk about which sexual position any of us preferred, what with the original plan being for us to have a drink together. But I like this; I like when it plays out naturally in bed.

With our mouths filled with engorged penises, my hand roamed to his butt. I don’t think anything turns me on more than a well-used asshole. I knew deep down that I was born to fuck this daddy’s ass. A few moments later, I was fingering him – one, two, three, four fingers, and then my sheathed penis. He took it like a champ, and I loved it. Ramming into him was a joy, and when he rode me, it was pure bliss, as I got to admire the art that was his body. Soon, he came, and then fucking him didn’t seem so appealing again. I didn’t have the strength to jerk myself off either. We drifted off to sleep like lovers.

The next morning, we had breakfast together before he was to go to work. At the breakfast table, while munching on fruits, I saw the fear of rejection etched on his face and hesitation weighed down on his countenance as he stammered his way through an invitation for dinner later that night. His fears were legitimate, because I had a rendezvous planned with some hot twenty-three-year-old Spanish boy from Grindr. But hey, any man that loves to drink as much as I do has my heart. Plus the thought of a proper home cooked meal appealed to me. So I accepted his invitation.

So for the first time that weekend, after leaving a bed, I didn’t get back on Grindr. I did some grocery shopping, went home, made lunch, worked out. (I can’t afford to be out of shape or unattractive as a black gay man) I slept and when I woke up, I started work on this piece. Then I showered and headed out to the daddy’s place for dinner and – obviously – sex. He was cooking up a complete storm when I got there. We started eating and drinking at exactly 9pm. It was a total feast, three full courses. At 2am, we were still drinking. It was fun. By the time we retired to bed, we were both exhausted, and yet, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. One thing led to another and I was fully sheathed and buried inside him once more. This time however, exhaustion won us over. None of us could cum, so we just called it a night.

The following morning was Tuesday, the last day of the public holiday. After a quick shower and breakfast, he went off to work. I was supposed to go straight home to prepare for school the following day, but the weather was so lovely. I decided to take a walk; before long I found myself messaging the twenty-three-year-old Spanish boy. He said to come over now. And I obeyed. I let my dick guide me once more.

He was just as advertised – cute, tall, spoke perfect English and about three other languages fluently. We spoke and he seemed very intelligent. Before long, we were making out in his living room, and then moved to his bedroom, and my-oh-my, he was really endowed. He was the total package and I felt myself melting just by being close to him. It didn’t help that he did some really quirky things like playing with my nose and staring intently into my eyes. While making out in bed, he got a message, checked it out, and then asked if I minded someone else joining us. I asked who. He said some German guy. I asked for a picture, and I was met with the blondest, smooth, well-built, lean-muscled German. I said hell yes. And a few minutes later, it was a ménage a trios. But the Spanish guy and I had discovered a little hiccup before German came around; there was no lube or condoms. So we asked the German to buy, but for some weird reason, he came empty-handed. But that wasn’t going to deter us from having fun. It was a scene worthy of any major porn studio, everyone had a full mouth, and eventually we all came on the German, the German inclusive.

Then phone numbers were exchanged. I have definitely not seen the last of the German or the Spanish boy. I dragged my worn-out body home, slept and woke up to a message from the Spanish boy asking me to come spend the night. Apparently, he wanted to fuck my brains out. But I had to decline. I had school the next day.

And now that it’s 1: 12am on Wednesday morning, I am typing the concluding paragraph to this piece that my father must never see. Hopefully, there won’t be a continuation to this story. 😀

Written by King Mufasa

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108 Comments

  1. Mandy
    December 30, 05:08 Reply

    Oh my God, that scat bit is disgusting! There are people who do that?! Jeez, thank God I wasn’t having breakfast when reading this.

    • armani
      December 30, 07:45 Reply

      god! I almost puked at that!

  2. Dubem
    December 30, 05:09 Reply

    Somebody out-whored Masked Man on KD? lol

    • Brian Collins
      December 30, 06:41 Reply

      MaskedMan and KingBey put together. Another classic international whore. Where’s Keredim sef?

      • Keredim
        December 30, 12:48 Reply

        I am here Brian. I thought you booked an appointment for tomorrow. I sent you a confirmation e-mail.?

  3. Brian Collins
    December 30, 06:49 Reply

    But scat sha o *shivers* My own fetish na Uncut cock. E no pass like that.
    That interracial threesome though. Me likely except the no protection part. But heck a real porn scene like that, with hot bodies all around, swapping cum and all would be nice.

    • posh6666
      December 30, 09:26 Reply

      Eww Brian uncut cocks are fugly! Oh the joys of living abroad dont you just love the endless possibilities of various hookups in a day which is just a phone away?with no fear of kito whatsoever and plenty choices one day one day sha….

  4. Dennis Macaulay
    December 30, 07:12 Reply

    *Crosses self*

    After they will say DM is a hoe! After reading this piece I am a saint! Patron Saint of Holy gay men.

    This dude had more sex in a few days than some of us have in one year….okay fine not one year but you get the drill.

    King Mufasa! Wehdone

    • #Chestnut
      December 30, 07:38 Reply

      No,u’re right…ONE YEAR!Damn!
      (When I started reading dis,I thought it was Keredim o…hi Kere,how u doin?)

    • Pink Panther
      December 30, 07:53 Reply

      As in eh. All the sex he had in just four days, Max probably have never had in half a year. #Okbye *fleeing*

      • CriXXus
        December 30, 08:40 Reply

        Lol!
        Except you are fleeing to the hospital Max was rushed to after reading this piece, there is no hiding place for you! ?????

  5. Mr. Fingers
    December 30, 07:38 Reply

    Lol. I thought I was in love with someone ones until the scat thing came up. I thought it was cute that he wanted to eat my shit and drink my urine but later backed out of the whole thing.

    • Pink Panther
      December 30, 07:52 Reply

      I’ve had the pee experience before. This dude I hooked up with a few years ago. The issue didn’t come up until after sex. Then I went to the bathroom to ease myself. Just as I was about to get to my business, he hurried inside and was like, “What do you want to do?”
      I said, “Pee.”
      And he says, “Why waste good pee when you can give it to me.”
      Thought the dude was kidding o, until he had me channel my mineral water from the toilet bowl to his mouth. Lol. The memory though… *shudder*

      • Dennis Macaulay
        December 30, 07:58 Reply

        In lagos ba? Short? Stout? Light skinned? Name starts with letter D?

        • Mr. Fingers
          December 30, 08:04 Reply

          @DM no mentioning of names or giving out clues pls.

          @PP hahaha. The reason I backed out was cos I was so into the guy, am sure at some point the issue of my reciprocating his ‘kind gesture’ might come up.

          I no fit shout.

        • Pink Panther
          December 30, 08:05 Reply

          You lost me at ‘light-skinned’, but by all means, go on. So you sexperienced a pee fetish with some Lagosian? 😀 *pouring another cup of chamomile tea*

        • Maximus
          December 30, 14:02 Reply

          PP doesn’t do light skinned men.

  6. johnnie
    December 30, 07:52 Reply

    SCAT? who does that?
    God I am still your child, continue make me that gudu boy.
    Some people have been WHOREing their self since birth

  7. Oturugbeke!
    December 30, 07:56 Reply

    I don’t think any Nigerian gay man scats for real. What nonsense, even some of those claiming BDSM never see anything, by the time a cazy oyibo man flog you with belt your eye go turn.

    • Mr. Fingers
      December 30, 08:07 Reply

      Some Nigerians are into anything and everything Bro.

  8. JoshDeity
    December 30, 08:03 Reply

    Grindr?! ☺
    Scat?! ???
    This much sexual activity over one weekend would have me filled for the year… For me, its all about dosage…

  9. Santa Diaba
    December 30, 08:15 Reply

    Lmaaooo. Me I’m just here marveling at his stamina. Please whatever energy drink or supplements you’re taking, hook me up s’il vous plait.

    • Pink Panther
      December 30, 08:16 Reply

      LOL! Santa, you looking to apply to the Whores Academy? 😀

  10. ambivalentone
    December 30, 08:18 Reply

    I couldn’t…*rushes to the toilet to puke*…continue. Na to read the comments to know how it ended biko. Thinking about it sef *pukes some more*

    • Mandy
      December 30, 08:20 Reply

      Hehehehee! Ambi, try and get to the end. It got veree good, trust me.

      • ambivalentone
        December 30, 08:44 Reply

        No thanks. I got the gist. Poo, pee, an inter-racial three…what else am I missing? Ahhhh! Lots more prick-peppering sex. I’m good

  11. Oturugbeke!
    December 30, 08:20 Reply

    Don’t these people ever get a sore anus? Me that will get lashed and won’t be able to take a preek for few days afterwards. Na wa oh!

    • ambivalentone
      December 30, 08:39 Reply

      Good fore-play and good lube,
      you’ll be going 20ce more than u shud

      nice lines, yeah?

  12. CriXXus
    December 30, 08:37 Reply

    Oh my!!!

    Poop!! Seriously?!?????

    And see me thinking rimming was super freaky and maybe a lil bit nasty……

    # FreakyThingsPplDoForPleasure

    • posh6666
      December 30, 09:33 Reply

      Not only you my broda one guy was seriously begging me pls now let me lick ur asshole i was like excusez moi? I totally freaked out abeg its like super creepy…But i think i will like to shit on someone i believe there’s like a super good feeling of knowing you are shitting on someone in that moment you can just close your eyes and imagine yourself shitting on someone you hate so much lol.

      • Brian Collins
        December 30, 10:45 Reply

        I can think of a few people. There will be nothing sexual about it.

  13. Kenny
    December 30, 08:41 Reply

    I read it the first time, didn’t know what to say. After a second read I still don’t know what to say. Isn’t it unhealthy to ingest urine or feaces?

    • Mandy
      December 30, 08:43 Reply

      That’s why they are kinks. They don’t come with any rationality.

      • JoshDeity
        December 30, 08:58 Reply

        Rationality??? He’s asking about risks!!!
        Kenny, Bodily waste is what it is, waste. They shouldn’t be ingested. Seeing as you may not be adequately informed about the other person’s diet and water intake (or even if you are), bodily waste…. Ugh! Poop in the mouth… Eewwww! I can’t go on… Oh, and vomit too…

        • Kenny
          December 30, 09:52 Reply

          Thanks Josh! My thoughts exactly!!! It’s OK to be kinky but moderately na!

    • posh6666
      December 30, 09:39 Reply

      Urine is actually healthy and a cure to alot of diseases.You can google it,Infact i watched a tv program were a woman in lag i think makes drugs with human and camel urine.Its just the psyche that u are drinking your own waste product that will freak you out.

      • Kenny
        December 30, 09:56 Reply

        Posh I disagree. But let’s ask the health care professionals in the house. Dennis, Francis over to you

        • posh6666
          December 30, 10:04 Reply

          Funny you what are u disagreeing about when u can easily google it and enlighten yourself better.I mean no shade but i am sure google knows better than Dennis or Francisa

          • Kenny
            December 30, 10:27 Reply

            You really should understand what you read posh. Yes I googled and from what I understand it’s not advisable to ingest urine especially in large quantities.

        • Brian Collins
          December 30, 10:52 Reply

          Dennis may be a twink professional, certainly not an health care professional.

          • posh6666
            December 30, 11:00 Reply

            Brian this kind of early morning shade hope you dont want to get on the wrong side of miss pinkie sha

      • Chizzie
        December 30, 11:03 Reply

        Posh don’t be fuckng stupid. Urine is a waste product that the body puts in a lot of effort to expel, so much so that God gave us two kidneys. And as most ppl with sound education would know, you can get a number of pathogens from urine, notably S. typhi. Which causes Typhoid Fever, which is extremely widespread here. One’s more likely to get Typhoid via urine than via feacal means because most ppl generally don’t wash their hands after peeing.

        Hope you are taking notes cause it seems the only use for that certificate of yours is that it can serve as tissue paper when none is available

        • Terra
          December 30, 14:04 Reply

          Well…actually urine is normally sterile, bacteria free. Which is why only people with urinary tract infections have any bacteria or pathogens in their urine. However, aside from it being pretty gross, nitrogenous waste can be harmful, which is why your body gets rid of it in the first place. There could be other toxins present in urine which depends on what the person has ingested or come into contact with. Drinking urine probably won’t give you typhoid, but it is NOT healthy

          • Chizzie
            December 30, 16:08 Reply

            You CAN actually get Typhoid from urine. I didn’t think so too until I was taught in the university and I also just googled and of course I was right. And for you to say that urine is sterile is extremely laughable. That’s possibly the most inaccurate thing I’ve ever heard in my entire

            http://www.google.com. It helps.

            • Terra
              December 31, 10:26 Reply

              Yeah, you’re right. Urine isn’t sterile. Low levels of bacteria present. I didn’t update myself. However, S. typhi in urine is uncommon. Those that have the pathogen in their urine experience UTI symptoms. It’s highest concentration is in faeces. The urinary system isn’t part of the digestive system, which is where S. typhi and paratyphi largely live. Typhoid from the crap ingestion? Yes. From the pee? No

            • Terra
              December 31, 10:29 Reply

              You’re kinda smart. You might even be likeable if you weren’t such a dick all the time.

            • Williams
              December 31, 10:49 Reply

              Urine is normally sterile when produced in the kidney and stored in the bladder, but is likely to become non-sterile as it leaves the body.

  14. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    December 30, 09:18 Reply

    Hmmmmmmmm!

    Let me just take a trip to one of these gay friendly European countries … PP will certainly get a story!

    • Pink Panther
      December 30, 09:20 Reply

      ROTFLMAO! What are you talking, I will be THE story, if it’s me. 😀

    • Maximus
      December 30, 14:05 Reply

      Aren’t you doing that already in the south east??? @Oluwadamilare

  15. JArch
    December 30, 09:31 Reply

    King Mufasa.. You and I need to have a word soon

    Come on, a 40yr old daddy cooks up a storm for you and has a well stocked bar. Then you’re still trolling grindr for Spanish and German dudes…

    Am vexing big time, cos hell would freeze over after am done with you… Thou shalt not yield to temptation

    • JArch
      December 30, 09:39 Reply

      Your stamina though? I think you deserve an award… But then again, when we’re in situations outside our comfort zones, do we discover our true “strengths” lol

    • CriXXus
      December 30, 10:35 Reply

      Take it easy before you hurt yourself gurl!
      The titles says it all! Even if God hands them a David MacIntosh with the character of pope Francis and the Culinary skills/charisma of Dennis Macauley on a platter…………

      A whore will always and forever be a whore! Cikena!

        • CriXXus
          December 30, 11:28 Reply

          If you ask me……… na who I go ask!???????????

          Asiri gbakwa Ute!

      • Peak
        December 30, 11:49 Reply

        Chai! LMAO, Death by laughter!

        Bhet, @CriXXus, Brian asked a simple, legit and honest question nau!
        Me sha would like to know how you knew Dennis can cook while you are at it. DM my man, Hawayoo today?

      • JArch
        December 30, 12:32 Reply

        LOOOL Crixxus sadly you’re right about that ***sighs***

        Still can’t help but vex sha

      • JArch
        December 30, 12:35 Reply

        Brian, Dennis has excellent cooking and “cocking” skills na… I thought you knew

  16. mirage
    December 30, 09:52 Reply

    The scat part is disgusting! To think I was eating when I read this!*pukes*as usual DM must know the person,mtcwee, slut!*clap hands*

  17. Kenny
    December 30, 10:00 Reply

    Posh and crixxus that can’t be rimmed ya’ll are missing.

    • CriXXus
      December 30, 10:23 Reply

      Missing? Lol! If the protein content of ones food could kill, I’d sure be dead by now. I’ll rather miss out from the horror of farting in someone’s face! Like if it ever happens, d ground better open up and swallow me whole.

      And dont even get me started about the feeling of not being clean enough. I just can’t!

  18. Chizzie
    December 30, 10:27 Reply

    I think we’ve all had our own fair share of whore chronicles this holiday season but yours tops all others. I mean it doesn’t get more extreme than scat. Now I can go to bed feeling like a saint. And notice how this started with a Bible verse? Nigerian gays world wid, stop giving the devil something to chuckle about

    You can’t be feeding a guy your feaces a few moments after quoting bible scriptures in a toilet stall. Tufiakwa. This is why you should not send your children abroad.

    • King Mufasa
      December 30, 10:38 Reply

      Hahahaha … this actually made me chuckle :))

  19. Mitch
    December 30, 11:31 Reply

    Okay, you tots lost me at the scat part. I literally couldn’t go on cos I had to go puke. Bloody hell!

  20. Teflondon
    December 30, 11:35 Reply

    I like the fact that you are an international hoe who’s got something going for himself (You are schooling and you don’t joke with it) asides just whoring around and being an old wreck. its okay to be a hoe while you are young and focused on whats important, like being a successful person.
    Lovely entry today, enticing sexual tryst. you got my respect just stay focused King Mufasa don’t end up being an old miserable troll.

    • Kenny
      December 30, 12:11 Reply

      You’re so so sure the other ‘international whore’ has nothing going for him? Like a 100% sure? I don’t know how people like you sit on their asses and type crap like this about people you know nothing about. It says more about who you are than the person you’re trying to shade.

      • Teflondon
        December 30, 15:06 Reply

        Sorry.. who are you again?

        Make assumptions if you like, A nigga can’t make comments without it being mischievously classified as shade?

        Come 2016! i will no longer respond to stupid people like you that can’t learn to mind their business.

        • Kenny
          December 30, 15:21 Reply

          *sigh! Very typical of you to resort to insults. You don’t know me and you don’t need to. But I know you tef and you aren’t all that. You come to kd pretending to be what you’re not. I see it everyday and I laugh. Your can of worms Tef……. One day, just you wait!

          • Teflondon
            December 30, 15:48 Reply

            “*sigh! Very typical of you to resort to insults.”
            Wait! What Insults? I think its only appropriate to call people that cant mind their business ‘Stupid’

            “But I know you tef”
            Wait! Who doesn’t? its not breaking news stuff..

            “and you aren’t all that. You come to kd pretending to be what you’re not. I see it everyday and I laugh.”
            Really? Ok.

            “Your can of worms Tef……. One day, just you wait!”
            If truly you know me like you claim.. you would know i have never shied away from controversy.
            I’ll Def find out who you are in no time. And then we shall see. till then…

            Enjoy your Holidays Kenny!

            • Kenny
              December 30, 16:11 Reply

              Lol. You and this your over bloated sense of self. I can’t deal.

        • posh6666
          December 30, 15:32 Reply

          Mr Tef for the past few days u have been sounding very very angry and lashing out to everybody even when unwarranted.Making comments that aint really necessary.Seriously sometimes you can just scroll away without commenting.

          You have been dishing out tips and advises to Delle and Ronnie but you really need to apply some of those wisdom into your life and be happy.

          Honestly you look like a child struggling to gain attention by all means,are wealthy people suppose to be so angry? Aint they too busy either spending their money or just thinking of their account balance and smiling knowing that no bitch can make them mad…You are wealthy like you said right? Abeg rest! You are already overweight with a high risk of hypertension so try and live long enough to fuck all those lowlife roughnecks you are always happy to announce to us you enjoy fucking….I dont want to wake up one morning and read that you slumped and died i will be really sad.

          • Teflondon
            December 30, 16:01 Reply

            You are not even worth exchanging insults with. i resist coming down to your level. see posh, i pick people i respond to (today is your lucky day) and exchange banters with.. you are not at that level yet.
            I don’t rate you to the extent of exchanging insults with you. you don’t worth it.
            Lol
            #YouKnowYourReputationIsTarnished When “something” like posh has the effrontery to abuse you.

            • posh6666
              December 30, 16:34 Reply

              *sighs* so this is what i get for trying to be a good samaritan is it a bad thing that i dont want you to die young? I mean a wealthy person should be able to live long enough to enjoy his wealth.

    • Keredim
      December 30, 12:46 Reply

      Thanks Tef, it could have been worse. I could have been an old wreck with nothing going for me but a 50 inch waist and loads of Daddy’s money to pay for sex.

      BTW how is that diet going? Are you beginning to see the tip of your gangrenous feet yet??

      • Teflondon
        December 30, 15:17 Reply

        Look for some Old Troll who’s got a lot of time on their hands and don’t have much going for them to continue this childish bickering. its almost 2016, i know you would be looking for who to vent your frustration of the knowledge that well.. Grave is fast approaching.

        wait!
        *scratch that*
        I’m getting too old for this shit..
        Enjoy your Holidays Kere.

        • Keredim
          December 30, 16:52 Reply

          To be honest Tef, I didn’t understand much of what you just said. (Would be happy if someone could transcribe it)

          All I have gathered is that you have now added a new word to your vocabulary “Troll” and you use it at will. At least you won’t say KD hasn’t thought you anything in 2015.

          I hope in 2016 you learn to spell & punctuate properly and lay off (in addition to copious amounts of elubò) adding “s” to every verb in your comment.

          And a happy holidays to you too, Sir….All 200kg of you.

          • ambivalentone
            December 30, 17:26 Reply

            Dear Keredim, not to rain on ur parade, but any more comparisons with foods I was brought up on and actually like, will cause fight. Therefore, fufu, eba, iyan, elubo, lafun, amala, eko are OFF LIMITS. There’s hardly anything left to eat in this country without u comparing to what will make u lose ur appetite. Dede mi ra ho.
            You may continue

            • keredim
              December 30, 18:00 Reply

              Ambi nwokeoma , That there is any of the aforementioned foods still left in the country after he has eaten, is a miracle.

              I am sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you (or anyone else) any loss of appetite. But if not okele what else when eaten with avarice can cause such morbid obesity? Rice? Salad? Beans?

              Biko, tell me.

  21. Peak
    December 30, 12:08 Reply

    Nothing screams “Confidence” than a well bred thot, than someone (in this case a man) who rocks and owns all his mutherfucking shit, with zero apologies!
    Now, that’s what I call an “OG slut”. I feel you brother!

    After reading this, I think it’s safe to say I’m looking forward to taking a dump or making it rain on someone…you know what, I think I’d just stick to making it rain for now.

    The daddy part was Errrrrrrthang!!!!!!!!!!! That’s like the climax of the tale(IMO) Spanish and German juice can like to go park well dakun.

    Dear writer, there better be a sequel to this story. Hell you can pick up from where Kingbey left us hanging and serve us a series. You already have a loyal fan in the person of your truly. Please don’t forget “Graphic Details” next time. Very very important. Lets not forget about safety my good sir, super very, very, very important.

    Sweet read!

  22. Maximus
    December 30, 13:38 Reply

    Written by King who??? I havent even read it yet… **sobbing already*

  23. Maximus
    December 30, 13:56 Reply

    Just finished reading this…Cringed all through this horrifying piece. I’m going to mail your father, I think its time to come home.
    From the “gulping of feces” to randomly jumping from one bed to another…choi.

    Huge sigh**

  24. Dickson Clement
    December 30, 14:56 Reply

    Mehn! ”Imagine all the Dicks he had gotten up there” copied from the skinny! Mehn! I am downloading this grindr!

    • posh6666
      December 30, 15:17 Reply

      This one you are happily downloading if u are in Nigeria my broda better be very very careful,unfortunately grindr Nigeria isnt where you just pop into and shop for men of all shapes and sizes…Its a potential kito waiting to happen especially in states like lag,benin and ph infact most of those eastern states be very careful.

      • Chizzie
        December 30, 16:01 Reply

        Wow I didn’t know Benin and PH were states. I guess you learn every day ??

  25. sinnex
    December 30, 16:02 Reply

    I didn’t find anything pleasurable here. This Piece is the most disgusting thing I have read in a very long time. I feel like throwing up right now.

    I almost didn’t read it, I thought it was even written by Keredim, which was why I even read it.

    I met a guy like that online who wanted me to poop and pee on him….kai!!! Rimming someone is hard enough…

    • ShowMeYoursPlease
      January 01, 08:23 Reply

      So you cannot eat ass and you wanted to date me? LOL. Thank Jah I kicked you to the curb. Novice.

  26. Stranger
    December 30, 19:23 Reply

    Ermm, is this how you behave all the time or is this your first foray?

  27. simba
    December 31, 00:07 Reply

    Urine is sterile in health individuals. ..arguably most clean thing in toilet lol. I wouldn’t advise anybody to drink urine though. My dear Chizzle, Salmonella is hardly gotten from urine, it’s easier 2 get from infected feacal products and unwashed/ improperly cooked food. There are many reasons not to drink urine but Salmonella is definitely not part of it. In some cases I may advise someone to drink urine to avoid dehydration but such situations are rare and extreme.

    • Williams
      December 31, 11:12 Reply

      Simba,,an example of one of such rare instances please?

      • simba
        December 31, 12:54 Reply

        @Williams ..example would be,if ur lost at sea.. reason would be,sea water would dehydrate u quicker as per it’s very salty therefor common physiology law of osmosis will apply, using the analogy where salt goes water goes. But ur urine which should be sterile contain less salt. These theory can not sustain life tho if the individual is lost at sea for long.. as dehydration Will eventually set in resulting in Anuria and death… not necessarily In this order.

  28. tarter
    December 31, 21:18 Reply

    yes,people scat in Nigeria, i tried once with this guy,d shit no gree come out oo,he put finger deep,nothing, he was complaining that i was too clean, i couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation, other tops want you to be 200% clean, while this one is complaining of me being too clean ..

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