UP AND DOWN MEMORY LANE (Episode 2)

UP AND DOWN MEMORY LANE (Episode 2)

I like having roommates, even though it might mean me being susceptible to temptation. A few years ago, my uncle came home with a young boy of about twenty. He was going to be his new sales boy and since all the other rooms in the house had female occupants, I was saddled with the obligation of sharing my bed with him. He settled in quickly under my very watchful eye.

A few months later, one thing led to another and we started doing the naughty. Of course, most of it was initiated by me. Almost every night was a shag-fest.

Then one day, I came inside the room and saw him reading a bible. I didn’t think anything about it. I mean, most of us read the bible once in a while, even if to find some of those discrepancies we can point out to the homophobic religious bigots. But then, his next action surprised me; he knelt down and started praying fervently. I was firstly startled by that. Then I ignored him and carried on with what I’d come into the room to do. He soon concluded his prayers and looked up at me. and he said with the most solemn expression, “Please, Michael, I am begging you in the name of God, stop touching me at night. I am not a gay.”

Really? Who told you that? And it’s “I’m not gay”, not “I’m not a gay.” These were the words that roiled in my mind in that instant, begging to be said. But I simply nodded and maintained my silence. After all, we all passed through this stage, and it was only a matter of time before we truly got to reconcile ourselves with the reality of our homosexuality. I however wondered if there’d been anybody who’d spoken to him about this, probably brainwashed him into thinking gays are evils spirits sent from the deepest part of hell to mislead them heaven-hopefuls to hell, or how gays are responsible for all the bad things that have happened to mankind and this country since the killing of twins decades ago. Perhaps he’d overheard a zealot condemning gays as the reason the naira is on a free fall and the cause of the very poor economic policies of Buhari, the increment of the prices of certain commodities like biros, exercise books and pure water, and just maybe the late payment of ESUT tuition which attracts a penalty of 10k. The atrocities of gay people and the dangers they pose to the world are simply innumerable.

Anyway, I let him be, and in the following nights, I did well to mind my own side of the bed. About two weeks later, I was startled to consciousness by a creeping yet purposeful movement on my back.

Really, I thought, when I became aware of what it was. You didn’t even last up to a month?  I remember being celibate for several months during my own crossover.

Anyway, seeing as I was really horny and my balls were filled and ready to burst, plus my sphincter was twitching upandan, I obliged him. We had a good romp and it became once again consistent the nights after. These days, I’m giving him a lesson on cuddling without sex. 😀

*

I don’t do alcoholic beverages especially beer. Something about the taste and aroma doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve had to endure many jabs from friends and acquaintances. Recently though, I’ve occasionally started taking a few glasses, and this was not because of peer pressure. As a freshman in the university last year, I learned something vital in one of my Intro To Brewing science class. I learned that zero intakes of most alcohols beverages such as wine, beer, ale, stout is not a very good idea. During the course of that class, my professor said that according to WHO, moderate consumption of any of the aforementioned beverages have the following health benefits: decreased risk of coronary heart disease, lower risk of Alzheimer’s, bone fracture, diabetes, duodenal ulcer, gallstone, hepatitis A, kidney stone, pancreatic cancer, Parkinson’s disease, Hodgkin’s lymphoma, metabolic syndrome, rheumatic arthritis and Type B gastritis.

Surprised? Well here is the bomb. It can also facilitate memory and learning and even improve IQ scores. Just imagine! Other benefits include Endothelia Vasorelaxation and protection from low-density lipoprotein, cholesterol against oxidation. After that class, I changed my perspective on the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Written by Michael

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16 Comments

  1. Mandy
    February 27, 08:13 Reply

    All these are the risks of being a teetotaler? :O Talk about being a good boy and going to hell for it.

  2. Alves
    February 27, 08:18 Reply

    Really? Who told you that? And it’s “I’m not
    gay”, not “I’m not a gay.” You have a lot of restraint, I would have said.

    Known of all these benefits, just don’t think I’ll like it.

  3. bruno
    February 27, 08:26 Reply

    when those who are supposed to be exposed and educated are still wallowing in pits of i.h, what hope do these bible thumping i-am-not-a-gay types have? and he has to be taught to cuddle too? lmao! typical.

  4. Jamie
    February 27, 09:01 Reply

    I think it’s right to say, ”I am not a gay”… That and, ”I am not a gay man”, ain’t so different, right? Gay could be Noun, or Verb. Someone once had an argumen with me about that…

    • Max 2.1
      February 27, 09:57 Reply

      “Gay” cannot be a verb because it’s not an action. It’s an emotional and psychological state of existence.

    • bruno
      February 27, 10:26 Reply

      a verb? someone wasn’t paying attention in primary school.

    • Jamie
      February 27, 19:08 Reply

      LOL… What I meant to say, educated folk of Kito diaries who paid so much attention in primary school while I was busy thinking about break time, is that, ”I think it’s right to say, ”I am not a gay”… That and, ”I am not a gay man”, ain’t so different, right? Gay could be Noun, or Adjective. Someone once had an argumen with me about that…”
      Now, can I hear someone say, ”people make mistakes. Noone is perfect”??? Huh!! Una for don crucify me before thi evening and before any explanation if I was around, shey?

  5. Francis
    February 27, 09:25 Reply

    Hope say the door get lock sha. Make uncle or aunty no surprise una one day for midnight.

    • Max 2.1
      February 27, 10:00 Reply

      You should be in risk management department in some big ass firm. ???. Not a doctor.. How are you even gonna be able to perform a surgery without fear of air or germs contaminating the patient’s body, or making too small or too big of an incision??

      • Francis
        February 27, 10:10 Reply

        Abegi, I’d rather my immediate family find me doing the nasty than relatives. The gist go spread like wildfire. Una family don get “#Scandal” finally ??

  6. Mr. Big
    February 27, 09:30 Reply

    Lmao @ the things gay people are responsible for…. Good one! Still, I think you should have allowed him find his way, these confused boys always end up being a source of heartbreaks in the future.

    All the best with teaching him how to cuddle!

    XOXO

  7. Khaleesi
    February 27, 11:02 Reply

    Lol pardon him cos of his ‘tender’ age, he has to figure out his sexuality all by himself and at his own pace. Nice one piece!

  8. pete
    February 27, 11:59 Reply

    all these benefits? *heads to the bar, dragging Pinky along*

    • Pink Panther
      February 27, 12:00 Reply

      Tufiakwa! Limme biko. I’m sticking to my teetotaler status, thank you very much.

  9. grass
    February 27, 17:11 Reply

    i know someone, he prays after every sex,and …… touch him 5 mins later he’s all turned on and ready for another round of sex..this is a guy that has over 5 exes,I mean, just doesn’t make any sense!

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