First of all, I would like to make an announcement, that you may now subscribe to the updates of Kito Diaries, and have them come straight to your email. Simply type in your email address, and click to subscribe, and thenceforth, whenever we update on the blog, you will be updated too.

And now, for the feature piece…another KDian (if I may be bold to start calling us that) has submitted a piece for your reading delight. I read it and laughed a lot. Plus, I was also struck by how much I shared the writer’s sentiments. Here, you go, read and enjoy. Oh, and the Tops to whom the piece is directed to, read and take note. 🙂



Dear Tops,

This letter is not for all of you, but many-enough of you. I do not presume to speak for every bottom, but at least I speak for meself, and as I am very important to meself, you’d better listen up if you want that second round…date.

Attitude #1: Pounding my ass 0.000000000000001 seconds after you ram in

Sounds painful, right? Well, guess what: It is! I know you watch loads of porn. I do too. And, trust me, there’s nothing as horny as watching some ripped ‘n’ inked guy slamming his hard meat into a splayed-legs bottom, wishing it was me under that guy – without the cameras, yeah? But porn is not real life, bruv. So many shots are cut out, including where the bottom guy douched, or how the top’s dick kept slipping out for three hours, how the condom got worn, etc. A quick Google of the anatomy of the anus will tell you that it is nothing like the vagina. It’s not elastic enough or self-lubricating.  It needs time to relax around your girth and accommodate it. Momentum is best build up gradually… So you can’t just plunge in and begin hammering away like we are picking up from where we left off 0.000000000000003 seconds ago. You’ll be ejected and shown your clothes. Then the door.

Attitude #2: It’s all about penetration.

No, it’s not. Eat our ass out. Finger it. Load ice-cubes down our chutes. Sip hot chocolate then wrap your warm tongue around our nips. Make things shiverous-quiverous, make things rock! Penetration is just ONE of many sexual activities and not THE sexual activity.

Attitude #3: Size is a big deal.

It ain’t. And here I’m not talking to the bruvas on the small side, fighting self-consciousness every time they gotta whip it out. I’m talking to the horse-schlong guys. (Wait first, how do I pronounce “horse-schlong” without biting my tongue?) Yeah, you are big, extra-elephant-leg-large and all that, but if you do not know how to use it to pleasure us, there’s no point us going further than one…drink with you. Don’t brag about your size; most of us bottoms pack mouth-watering lengths and girths down there. Focus instead on how you can use your skilled waist moves to make us cum thrice in 10 minutes – until we are cross-eyed.

Attitude #4: “I’m not that gay”/“I’m actually bi”.

We get it. Clinging tenaciously to the Top label as if it might make you less gay is so… I dunno. You like to shag guys, right? Like reallyreallyreally lovelovelove to shag guys, and guys alone? And you are top? You’re still gay! (This point excludes bi-guys.)

Attitude #5: That you are top makes you the “man” (and me the… “woman”).

This stinks of thinly-veiled misogyny and chauvinism and denial and internalized homophobia all rolled into a ball of your clothes and flung out the door after you. In case it slipped from your notice, we are physiologically alike: flat chest, dew-drop nipples, testicles, penis…sans uterus. One reason same-sex relationships are frowned upon is because we are a bundle of taboos. We have broken gender conventions as the world knows it. Now men can be “submissive”, can “be fucked”, can be recipients of chivalry; women can “fuck” (with strap-on dildos), can attain maximum pleasure without a man in sight (I don’t need a man, yeah?). It sends shivers of revulsion down the spines of most of the straight population who’d rather not see such… tarnished images of their genders. So, you Top, when we are doing whatever it is we do, don’t – except I kinkily permit – tamper with our genders to suit some hetero-normative model. It’s still a same-fucking-sex relationship. I – I’m your man. And you are my man too.

Written by Absalom


There, hope you enjoyed that. Now, don’t forget to please follow us on twitter: @panther_blog and for any submissions, let us have your stories at

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This One Is For The Power Bottoms

Titled ‘Bottoms Considered More Promiscuous than Tops?’, this piece was originally published on It’s quite a read. Check on it below and share your thoughts. * I’ve always believed


  1. FireService
    April 23, 10:01 Reply

    Loool. This dude should go learn how to take it like a man! 😛

  2. jay92
    April 23, 16:45 Reply

    Oh… Plssss…. If u can handle us dropping it like its hot den u should re-thing about ur role preference…

    • pinkpanthertb
      April 23, 17:11 Reply

      I think you meant to say ‘if u can’t’
      And anyway, lol. @ur comment. Come on, the mere fact that one’s a bottom doesn’t mean he should be hammered without any care in bed.

  3. yougiveaphuck
    April 24, 08:35 Reply

    brilliant. .although there’s still a ton more of stuff that was left out; like this thing w tops having such egos..if u like a dude msg him first and stop waiting for him to make the first move. ..

    and how about Tops sticking to one man pussy and stop spreading stds from nation to nation.

    • Padre
      April 24, 19:00 Reply

      Omfg!!! You just said it all……I so fucking love you for those comments,the egoistical bastards (pardon my language) spreading fucking std’s

  4. @LanreSwagg
    April 25, 17:37 Reply

    …. Any bottom who agrees to this needs to go to the back of the line. It’s 2014, grow up. Power bottoms exist, and they take dick like their lives depended on it. If you are a wimpy, weak ass bottom with a list of ‘preferences’ and conditions ( like most 9ja btms), that’s your fault, not mine. The world has moved on o. If you can’t take the dick, get out the kitchen and re-label yourself wannabe or something like that.

  5. kendigin
    April 29, 13:51 Reply

    Silly bottms! Can’t help urselves bt blab

  6. blue fox
    May 02, 00:07 Reply

    and u think the power bottoms enjoy being hammered? they can take it yes, but that doesn’t mean the enjoy it. by the way if u hammer finish and there’s an anal relapse will you still be there? Mscheew! silly and selfish tops

  7. tobby
    May 05, 12:51 Reply

    never understood the ”man” and ”woman” thing, also never understand why any guy would just want to ”penetrate”.. I love everything that comes with sex…lol. I can’t imagine just fucking a dude, cumming and that’s it.. sounds so

    I wanna kiss you and yadi yadi yada..

  8. QueerBoi
    May 16, 07:38 Reply

    This is my first time commenting on a story. This is mainly because I feel the writer just dissed me. The whole “I’m Bi not Gay” thing is actually f***king seriouus. I’m Bi, I love ladies af buh I can’t keep my eyes of cute chubby/fat guys. Now when I tell a person I’m Bi its nt because I wanna ‘cling tenaciously to the Top label as if it might make me less gay’, as u have put it. Except ofcourse u r saying being gay is “only” abt having sex. P.s. U might wanna consider MSM.

  9. Brian Collins
    November 01, 04:39 Reply

    Pinky could you please repost this and the reply letters from tops sometime?

  10. […] kick this new series off, I have decided to recycle this humour piece, which is one of the earliest write-ups published on Kito Diaries. It was penned by Absalom and […]

  11. Rukky
    December 08, 17:42 Reply

    No truer words!!!!! Looooooouuuuuudeeerrrrrrrr please!!!

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