DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE (Episode 3)

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE (Episode 3)

Dear Straight People

It is those of you who are Catholics that I want to speak to today.

In my aunt’s house, I had to go to church every Sunday without fail. Last Sunday, I attended my very last Catholic mass.

Dear Catholics, it’s not just that you believe in utter nonsense (purgatory, spiritual warfare, extra dimensional manipulation by an imaginary enemy), but you have absolutely no moral compass. If the Catholic Church is your only moral compass, you are immoral.

Anyway yesterday, the shamefully-miseducated parish priest at my aunt’s church started talking rubbish.

He had no coherence.

At first, he was railing against President Buhari’s administration, how so persecuted Christians are, and how they should be the ones in power (doing the persecution, I suppose).

Soon enough, he roamed off and rested on Canada and started lying at the altar. I guess it isn’t surprising that a clergy community that has child molesters would also have liars in quantum.

First he said parents can’t scold their children in Canada. That they’d get arrested if they did.

Then he said that parents aren’t allowed to address their children with a gender. According to his blatant lies, in Canada, once children are born, parents dare not address them with a gender or they would be arrested. This includes legal and religious documents and baptismal cards. He said the children were left like that until they are seven.

SEVEN! SEVEN YEARS!

After which they (the children) would select which gender they preferred and reassignment surgery would immediately be carried out if they’re trans.

He wasn’t done though. He moved on to homosexuals. He claimed that people were planted in the church to bring down the church. That this is why all these stories about how the church is a nest for predators are coming out.

Nice deflecting, if you ask me.

I bet many of the parishioners gobbled everything he was saying up like the bottle-fed ignorant bigots they are. It was the homily and so the doors of the church were barred. I think I would have walked out quietly if they weren’t.

The priest of course predictably dragged US to his rubbish. After spewing hate on the LGBT community, he claimed that in the US and Canada, if he was as outspoken on the issue as he currently was right there in the church, he would be immediately led away from the altar.

I don’t know what Canada’s laws on hate speech are but the Vice President of the United States has said much worse. So it was ludicrous to me that this priest was using America’s liberalism to sell his lies to his congregation. A congregation that was filled with people nodding thoughtfully at his words.

I couldn’t believe I was in such a gathering.

See, if you are Catholic and you are gay, LEAVE!

That is a very abusive relationship. If you believe in Jehovah and you believe He has no problem with your sexual orientation, go to a church that shares those values. Don’t keep funding the very people that hate you, that dish out lies about you, that make it their duty to prevent the end to your oppression.

I have a friend, and every time he talks about how he is harassed by some people in his parish, I just break with sadness. I don’t care that he believes in God but he is in denial about the church.

The Catholic Church as an organization is deeply, unforgivably homophobic.

The only option in such an abusive relationship is to leave and never look back.

Fuck Pope Francis and his liberal reforms that will almost definitely never happen in our lifetime.

Fuck their child molestation rings.

Fuck their stone age morality.

Set Yourself Free!

Written by Ani Kayode Somtochukwu

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27 Comments

  1. flame
    September 23, 07:11 Reply

    I would respond to this, but I decided a long time ago not to attempt to defend my faith to anyone…ever again.
    As Christ says, he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. The Catholic Church is not perfect, it has never been and perhaps it’s greatest failure was it’s inability to accept that.
    But using ignorant priests as your point of focus? Bitch take multiple seats! You would pretty much need to quit every religion currently practised in Nigeria.

    • Kayode
      September 23, 18:43 Reply

      Bitch you don’t have to choose between organizations that hate you.

      You can just reject them all.

      If you believe in God and believe that God sees nothing wrong with homosexuality, why attend any church that preaches the opposite.

      Set yourself free.

      • flame
        September 23, 19:31 Reply

        If setting myself free looks anything like your bitter ass right now, I’ll gladly thank you for your offer of freedom and pass.
        If you’ve come to the realization that the entire Catholic church hates you, move on (which you claim to have, congratulations!).
        But the bitterness you carry around suggests otherwise.

  2. Babyfwesh
    September 23, 07:36 Reply

    how so persecuted Christians are, and how they should be the ones in power (doing the persecution, I suppose

    That part got to me 😂😂😂

  3. trystham
    September 23, 07:54 Reply

    I had an argument with my school folks on our platform recently about how much of sheep the sheep are. The pastor/priest/Alfa has the final say on EVERYTHING even after sound professionals with facts have done their presentations. This IS clearly an indication why things will not be all right in this country. The clergy love their power too much and will do EVERYTHING to ensure their firm grip on it.

  4. Kobe
    September 23, 09:48 Reply

    So Phat Kayode, because you attended a Catholic where an ignorant and miseducated priest presided, the whole Catholic Church is bad and should be avoided.? Talk about experiencing an insignificant part of an entity and making the whole thing seem that way. How intelligent!
    Oya clap for yasself. ..👏 👏 👏

    • Pink Panther
      September 23, 09:52 Reply

      Phat Kayode? Really? To challenge his views on religion, you decided to attempt some fat-shaming? Very mature. Must be nice to go to church and come out with a lesson that to fight for God, you should attack your fellow human’s psyche.

      • Kobe
        September 23, 15:26 Reply

        Sorry @PP,
        That was a typo error.
        I don’t even know what Kayode looks like.
        @Kayode, my apologies.
        I meant to type “that”.

    • Kayode
      September 23, 18:38 Reply

      This one is completely ignorant to the Catholic Church ‘s doctrine.

      Come back when you’ve actually done yourself a favour and gotten to know the church better.

      • Tenzian
        September 24, 11:49 Reply

        Somto, I really appreciate it that you have already decided to stop going to Catholic Church cos I would have reminded you no one forced you there in the first place. I am a proud Catholic and in my parish the priest has never said something bad about the LGBT+ community. One time he gave a homily on sexual immorality he did say something about whether gay or straight, fornication remains a sin before. I don’t know what the Holy father did to you that warranted that uncalled sentence but you could actually make your point clear without involving what is bigger than you and what you will later wish you didn’t say. An attitude of a priest does not depict the whole priest.

        You can say I am defending the Catholic Church, YES, I defend my faith the way I defend my sexuality. What an individual says on the pulpit is never my headache because I am in tune with my God and my God knows I am Bi and we are cool with eachother.

      • Kobe
        September 24, 17:48 Reply

        Oga please read and understand written stuff before you respond.
        I actually talked about your flawed logic and not the Catholic Church doctrine of which in your infinite wisdom, you’ve declared me totally ignorant!!
        Leave the Catholic Church if you can’t stand it! Move on rather than carrying this your heavy hate on your fragile shoulders.
        Nothing is that serious really.
        Wehdone sah ooo

  5. J
    September 23, 12:46 Reply

    Gays shouldn’t be religious. Religion is not for gays. Always keep this in the front yard of your minds. I am looking forward to the time when all human beings will be secular humanists.

    • Bee
      September 28, 22:13 Reply

      When you “believe” in the LGBT community or “have hope” for Nigeria, you thinks that’s-a secular?

      Oga, all humans have beliefs, be them of Deity, sexuality or what-not.

  6. Stein
    September 23, 13:58 Reply

    You REALLY shouldn’t use the experience you had from one Catholic church as a yardstick to judge the entire Catholic community. If you want to leave, then leave. I highly doubt you’d see anyone pleading for you to remain with the catholic community.
    Also, when next you want to write a piece, you should do well to put up your views as suggestions or opinions; don’t demand everyone to conform to what you feel. If you feel abused, change churches or better yet, become an atheist, since that’s what everyone is doing nowadays.
    We of the LGBT community start to throw tantrums whenever hate is spewed towards us. One would think that since people see us as a minority, we should understand what it feels like and we should be wiser and try not to speed hate to other communities. That’s my opinion anyway.

    Have a blessed Sunday!

    • Kobe
      September 23, 15:28 Reply

      👏 👏 👏 👏

    • Kayode Ani
      September 23, 18:35 Reply

      I’m not judging the Catholic Church by the words of one priest.
      I’m judging it by the Catholic Doctrine.

      And whereas, this was my opinion piece, everything I said about the Church is fact. Perhaps you’ve decided to be blind on purpose to the doctrines of the church, that’s your palava.
      I don’t feel abused. I set myself free from the retarded teachings of the Roman Catholic cult a long time ago. So quiet down.

      Now to the really funny part of this comment, how exactly did I spew hate on a community?
      You may not realize this but organizations aren’t human beings. They aren’t communities.
      They are organizations. When the organization’s ideology is evil and retrogressive, it just is.

      Stop making excuses for the inexcusable.

  7. Scoundrel
    September 23, 19:27 Reply

    Nothing amuses me more than watching someone who claims to be discriminated against mount his/her high horse to essentially pass judgement on an entire group because of some members’ ignorance. Carry on…

    • Keredim
      September 24, 04:26 Reply

      You’ve come to the right place for that kind of amusement 😂😂

  8. realME
    September 24, 05:32 Reply

    God, lol
    each word got to me …lol
    and i say amen to freedom!!!
    can wait for the next chapter

  9. Al Fayeed
    September 24, 08:15 Reply

    Well done trying to prove your point brother, because inspite of this unbalanced piece, I will still refer to you as brother, it doesn’t change anything because of what we decide to believe in, we are brothers and should work out our differences in decorum and love, it’s important to stand the hate against us, but bros you realise that there are Catholic Cardinals, Bishops, Priests and Religious men and women of consecrated life in the Catholic Church who are liberal and accept us for who we are without judgement, try to read about these persons and their work, let’s really stop the fighting and shaming, I am proudly Catholic, and respect my choice.

  10. Francis
    September 24, 08:20 Reply

    When it comes to ndi church people, I’ve gradually learnt to mind my business and let them enjoy whatever it is they are enjoying from going to church. As long as they don’t bring it near me, we good.

    We all have our filtering/defense mechanisms

  11. Sim
    September 25, 08:24 Reply

    Religious gay people is a phenomenon I’ll never understand. That the most abusive relationship ever.

    • Pink Panther
      September 25, 09:18 Reply

      LOL! It’s especially curious if they are the ones who have actually reached self acceptance. You start to wonder how anyone can be accepting of himself and still suffer through the condemnation of his religion.

    • Stretchy
      September 26, 11:55 Reply

      Just they way straight people say they don’t understand “how man go dey kiss man” ?

  12. Stretchy
    September 26, 11:52 Reply

    There’s this strange narrative I’ve noticed here, which is, being gay and religious is sacrilegious. Like how can you be gay and still believe in God. I believe it’s a poisonous ideology to peddle.
    They are people in this world who have made their peace with their sexuality and God. Please let them be,don’t look at them like damaged goods; the same way straight people look at gay people.
    Also if you are gay and atheist/non-religious then beautiful. It’s all good. But let no other end of the aisle climb on their proverbial high horse and thump down on others.
    Also someone made a comment “as long as they don’t bring it near me” you do realise this is the kind of statement bigoted straight people use to rationalise their perceived “homo-freindliness”
    In the process of fighting against our oppressors let us not turn into them. We should know better

  13. mikkiyfab
    September 26, 13:34 Reply

    I just read some posts on KD and I see the bad nature of Nigerians and their shallow philosophies sorry to say this @ kayode the church doesn’t make u who u are but your ideologies and understanding of the vast knowledge around u makes you, You. If I can read a thing like this and feel the same sympathy and pity I have for the homophobic Nigerians and still feel it afor you also then in my own opinion it’s really bad. Reading from your counter comments I could see you claim not to be in a persuasive tone but rather giving a mere opinion but the same cannot be said according to the first paragraph in this write up… remember a priest just like the Pope is human and humans are full of prejudice, flaws, bias, hate etc if it was that way anyone who had made hateful comments about me or my life should be avoided and not be in any relationship with then I think everyone in my life should be avoided but No that’s not how the world runs…
    Let’s not allow the hate of others get to us, our lives are for us and no one else. We must always be of love.

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