WRITER’S NOTE: My name is Teflondon. I have been reading Kito Diaries since last year, but never thought to contribute until now. And I must admit, I have been more than impressed by the work done here daily, from the articles posted to the comments and different opinions expressed. Before I start my story, let me follow a few protocols of ass kissing and butt licking. I want to appreciate Pink Panther first of all for bringing all this together, for making such a platform where learned LGBT can interact. I am not by any means an awesome writer, maybe average at best. And I am amazed at the brilliant minds of everyone that writes on this blog. I can’t write fiction because my mind is not as imaginative as the lot who do so. However, the story I have to share is real. Here goes.
*
This happened a few years back. And I remember it all, because the turn of events changed my life forever.
I was listening to my James Blunt album on my iPod, seated outside my (father’s) house. There was no light and my dad was not home, as he always isn’t. I was very broke, and so had no money to buy fuel for the generator. I was also bored. And as any spoilt twenty-one-year-old fresh graduate of a prestigious private school would do when he is bored, I put a phone call through to a friend, Tolu. Tolu was my supplier of hunks, and I was looking for him to hook me up.
Me: Hello, how far, Tolu? Wetin dey? E don tey wey we talk last.
Tolu: Yes o! Na you forget us na. People like us no dey exist for your world except you need us.
I laughed at that.
Me: No, no be like that. It’s just that I have been busy with graduation and everything that comes with it.
Tolu: Okay, I understand.
Me: Anyway, how far? You get any parole for me? I’m just home and so bored.
Tolu: Ah! Tonight?
It was about 10pm.
Me: Yes o, tonight.
I was used to getting what I want whenever I want it.
Tolu: Okay, make I try see if I fit get for you.
Me: Ok abeg try o!
A few minutes later, he called back.
Tolu: E get this boy, you go like am. I just introduced him to the game. His name is David. Na fine boy, but e say na only rich guys fit make am do am o.
Now, I am from a fairly wealthy family, so I fit the bill. It was apparent to me that the guy could be a gold digger, but I was too horny to think right.
Me: Ehn, no wahala. Make him dey come.
Tolu: Ok, I go give am your number so e go fit locate you.
Me: Oshey padi mi. Thanks a lot.
The moment I ended the call, I fled inside the house to take a bath and get ready. Thereafter, I went out to buy indomie with the little change I had on me, what I would cook for my visitor upon his arrival. When I got back home, I settled back on where I was sitting and continued with my James Blunt album.
After nearly an hour had gone by, I became restless. No one had called me to ask me about my address. The thought that I might have gotten stood up had me getting angry. But I kept on with my wait.
And then, just when I was about to doze off, my phone rang. I woke up to answer the call. The number flashing on my screen was unknown to me. As my heart skipped in delight, I had this intuition that it was my hook-up calling. I answered the call, maintaining my silence when I pressed the phone against my ear. I had to form small.
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hey, sorry who’s this?
David: My name is David. Am I speaking to Teflondon?
Me: Yes?
David: Ok, Tolu gave me your number. He said you wanted me to visit.
Me: Yes that true. I wanted you to come over tonight, but I can see you didn’t want to come hence you calling me by this time.
I was starting to get angry, and could feel my voice rising, only to get cut short with his next words.
David: I’m around your house, in front of Delux Hotel.
This was around 11:30pm. When I realized how late it was and the effort he must have expended to get to my area at that time of the night, I toned down my attitude.
Me: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
David: Yes I am. Tolu gave me your address.
Me: Okay, just walk down a little, you will see a Close, it’s called Jonathan Coker Close. Walk into it and tell the gateman you are going to the White House, and you want to see Junior.
David: Are you sure the gateman will let me in? Why not come and meet me outside.
Me: I’m too tired to come out. Just do as I have said, please don’t be angry.
Several minutes later, he was in my compound. It was dark and I couldn’t make out his features very well to rate his cuteness level. What I could make out using my phone light was average. His looks had a ruggedness to it, and he was tall, say 5.9, slim and a bit muscular; just how I like them. He was wearing a black jacket and some denim pants with a pair of palm slippers on his feet.
I introduced myself and took him into the house. We both sat in the sitting room. I asked if he wanted to eat, and he declined. I was relieved, because I wasn’t of the mind to prepare anything anymore. So we got talking and chatting about ourselves. There was no light still, and it was really hot. It wasn’t long before we began perspiring, and all the while, I was playing scenes in my head of us having sweaty, hot sex.
Eventually, we got down the entire night. I woke up the next morning feeling like sleeping beauty. As I stretched on the bed, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and awesomeness put together, I realized that David had already woken up and was sitting on a chair across the bed looking at me. He was so cute, I mean, very handsome. I was really surprised at how handsome he was in the light of the morning, because the previous night, he didn’t look all that. I felt very pleased that I had found myself a new heartthrob.
W3hen he was ready to leave, I accompanied him to the bus stop. And to my surprise, he didn’t ask me for his transport fare, like most of my hookups do. I didn’t have any money on me, so I was really delighted he didn’t ask. He left and I went back home. I immediately called Tolu and thanked him for another good parole, the best so far.
Fast forward to a few months later, and David and I had grown close. My younger brother now knew him, and he’d spoken of me to his family. At some point, when his grandfather died, his family told him to get me a piece of aso-ebi for the burial. He became a frequent face at my place, coming and going as he pleased. I’d just gotten this EOD (End Of Discussion) car gift from my dad as a graduation present, and I cruised David and I about town in it, hitting up hot-spots, going to parties and the cinema. He seemed to enjoy himself a lot in my company, you know, a guy from the slums. And I think he started to fall in love with me. He began to fancy us an item, when all I ever thought of us was as friends with benefits. He’d come to my house, and see other guys around, and he’d start sulking and acting up. I didn’t mind thought.
Then came the day that marked the beginning of the end; the day I met someone I shouldn’t have.
That Saturday, I’d attended a wedding. I was at the ceremony, when a server came up to me to ask what I wanted, pounded yam or fried rice. I looked up at the most handsome guy I had ever seen in my life. Fair, slim, tall, with fresh-to-death skin. In my mind, I was like, What (in Khaleesi’s hell) is this fine something doing as a waiter, when he should be a model or something.
I somehow managed to tell him that fried rice would do. After he placed my meal before me and walked away, I kept tabs on him throughout the event, until it was almost ending. Then I walked up to where he was doing the dishes.
Me: Hello? What’s your name?
I could feel the stares of the other catering staff on me, as they no doubt wondered what a rich, good-looking guy would be doing in that section of the party.
Server: My name is Kelvin.
Me: Ok, that’s nice. My name is Teflondon.
Kelvin: Hope no problem, sir? Or do you want remnants for dog food?
I hadn’t even thought of that.
Me: Yes. I want it for dog food. Uh, please can I see you?
I called him apart from the prying eyes.
Me: Please give me your number. I’ll like to speak to you later. I’ll like you to help me with some things.
At his nod, I handed him my phone to type his number. It was a tactic I liked to use to impress on the other person how affluent I was. He typed his number, and handed the phone back to me. He typed his number and returned my phone to me. I thanked him and left.
A few weeks later, I gave Kelvin a call and asked if he could pay me a visit. At first, he was hesitant, and then later agreed. When he came to my place, we talked and I treated him to a good time, gave him money and told him I liked him a lot. He was very appreciative, and it was only a matter of time before we got down. Then he started visiting regularly, and on some of his visits, he met David in my place. He was always friendly and cool with David, but David was the exact opposite, very unfriendly and just short of nasty toward Kelvin. Oftentimes, he’d call me to complain about how he didn’t like Kelvin, and how he didn’t like that I didn’t mind him coming around. I really liked David, but at that particular time, I liked Kelvin more, and there was no hiding it. I don’t know how to hide it when I like someone. What I felt for David had waned in the face of my affection for Kelvin. I even started buying things for Kelvin. David had been asking me to get him a new phone for awhile, but I kept delaying the purchase because the phone he was using was still okay and I saw no reason for him to get a new phone at the moment. But Kelvin owned a palasa, a dead looking phone. And so, I decided to get him a new one, the Blackberry phone that was en vogue then.
When David realized what had happened, he went into a fury, accusing me of betraying him, and stormed out of my house as though it would be the last time we’d ever see each other again.
A month passed since his dramatic exit from my life, a month during which Kelvin and I became an item. And then, one night, as I cruised around with Kelvin, my phone rang. Until today, I wish I’d never picked that call, for it was what changed my life forever.
I picked the call, and it was David.
David: Junior, nawa o. So this is life. After all we had together, you mean you can go a month without calling or speaking to me.
Me: It’s not like that. I thought you were angry with me because of Kelvin.
I looked at Kelvin, who was beside me, and pointed at the phone, mouthing David’s name. He nodded in understanding.
Me: I am even with Kelvin as we speak.
David: But you know what you did is unfair. Anyway, can I come and see you tonight?
I didn’t mind seeing David. I’d missed him so much. And I knew Kelvin wouldn’t mind either.
Me: No problem. I’ll be home.
David: Okay. I’m on my way then.
I got home with Kelvin, and we were chilling in the sitting room when David walked in. He looked gloomy, a bit rough, as though he had being suffering all the while we were not together. He greeted me and was (surprisingly) nice to Kelvin.
When it was time to sleep, I put David in one of the visitors’ room close to the sitting room, and I went to bed with Kelvin. I later left for David’s room after awhile, and we had very hot make-up sex. I left the room around 4am back to my room where Kelvin was, and thereupon slept off like a baby.
I woke up by 9am. Kelvin was still sleeping. I decided to go check up on David to see how he was doing. He was gone. And with him had vanished my Xbox 360, laptop, and two phones. I was shattered. I was outraged. How could I begin tracing him to recover my belongings? As familiar as I thought I was with David, it dawned on me that I’d never cared to find out where he was living. He’d invited me severally to his house, but I never honoured his invitations. This I presently regretted, because if I’d known his house, I’d have simply gone there straight away to nail him.
I was confused. I didn’t know what to do. I went back to my room to wake Kelvin, and I told him what happened. Upon querying the gateman and house boys, who saw him leave with the items, it was to find out that they hadn’t stopped him because they’d become familiar with him. Kelvin and I quickly piled into my car, and I drove out to find out if we could still meet him on the way. We didn’t. I was crazed with grief. I am a game freak, and the loss of my game-box was very painful. I swore I was going to get David no matter what. When my friends got to find out, a few of them told me of one babalawo, who they suggested I go see for payback. I went to see him, but when he told me what would happen to David, I was scared. However, I told him to go ahead with his operations.
Three months passed, and I eventually moved on. And then, one day, I was going through one of my notepads, when I saw a phone number. It happened to be David’s mother’s phone number. I remembered him jotting it down on the notepad a long time ago, when he wanted to call his mother with my phone to inform her that he wouldn’t be coming home that night.
Feeling instantly ecstatic, I called the number and it went through. When she answered, I confirmed her identity as David’s mother. Then, I told her I wanted to come see her, and she agreed. I went with one of my friends to see her, and when we met, I told her what her son had done. She was so sad and disappointed, and told me how sick David had been for about three months. As she spoke, my mind flashed back to the babalawo and his fetish shenanigans. I wondered if what he’d promised had indeed worked with David. I didn’t meet her at home. She gave me her house address, and encouraged me to come around.
Three days later, I went to the house, this time with three heterosexual roughneck acquaintances of mine. I hadn’t told them the circumstances surrounding what happened between me and David; they simply knew that he stole from me. We got there and I was told to go and see David in his room. He looked terribly sick. I saw him looking quite wasted, and I pitied him. But I felt hurt, and I asked why he did what he did. At first, he seemed remorseful. He said he was pushed to do it by Tolu. (Remember him? The supplier of hookups) I was not too shocked to learn that; they were all a bunch of lowlifes. (But I liked lowlifes; you see my life? Lol)
Anyway, all I wanted at first was for him to truly apologize, and I would leave. But he quickly shed his remorse, and began insisting that I deserved what I got. He said he sold my stuff for small change. The Xbox that I bought then for 120k was what he’d sold it at Computer Village for a mere 16k. I wept inside of me as he threw that in my face.
Then I got angry. I was no longer willing to settle for his apology, supposing he was willing to give it. I told him he was wicked and demanded for my stuff back. He began shouting at me, in spite of his frail state. I also raised my voice and started serious drama. His family quickly swarmed us and began pleading with me to calm down. But David, knowing what he knew about us, stormed that I could do nothing, and told his family members not to beg me.
In no time, the situation escalated. My friends wreaked the drama out on the street. We used our vehicles to block the road, and before we knew it, we’d attracted a crowd of spectators. We insisted we wanted to take him to police station in my area. As we bundled him into my car, his parents called a police friend of theirs and implored him to come immediately to intervene. As we were about to drive away, the police descended and stopped us, saying we could only take him to a police station close by, which was the station where this friend of the family worked. We conceded.
When we got there, they asked what happened. I told them he stole my stuff and I wanted them back. They set on David with beatings and locked him up. Then, they told me to come back the next day.
I returned the next day with the hope that I was finally going to get some resolution in my favour. I was however in for the shock of my life. As I approached the front desk to ask about my case, I was pounced on and arrested. I wondered aloud what was going on, even as I noticed the policewomen giving me bad looks. I later found out David had confessed to his family and their police friend that I was gay and he used to fuck me for pay, and because I refused to pay him for a while, he decided to steal from me. Everyone believed him, and the hand of the law fell heavily on me. As I was getting locked up, I could hear the policewomen sneering at me with their abuses.
“See as he be, he no fit fuck woman. Na man yansh e fit fuck…”
“Some of them they use am do juju to get money sef…”
“The poor innocent pikin wey no know wetin him dey do, na im this foolish one come dey deceive am…”
“The pikin even talk sey na for everywhere for him house dem don fuck, him papa room, him mama room, visitor room, kitchen, toilet, everywhere! Chai! Tufiakwa!”
As I listened to all this, I knew I was in for it. After a while, I was summoned to the DPO’s office. They asked me if all David had said was true. Naively, I agreed, thinking my admission would make this all go away. The DPO was pleased I confessed. He told me to a write a statement. I did. My family must have been reached over the phone, because it wasn’t long before my father’s PA and some friends of mine started coming to the police station. I felt shame as they were informed of everything.
I was locked back up with David in the same cell. Our cellmates asked what our offence was, and I told them. To my surprise, they were on our side. They said what we did in the bedroom should have nothing to do with police. They also said I fucked up, that I shouldn’t have made it a police case. Anyway, that night, in the cell, David and I got our freak on with each other. (Sick, right? Lol)
The next day, a media crew was called and they took photos of us and told us to hold planks up with the words “We Are Homosexuals” written on it.
Long story short, my dad got to find out about everything. I heard he cried. He was really disappointed. I had to be bailed with about 300k, while David was bailed with 30k. The police had seen the car I drove to the station with, and saw an opportunity to exploit. I was later released and got home to face the wrath of my family. My mum was in tears. My brother looked unsure how to handle me. And my dad was furious, barking and roaring and lashing out at me. He made me write and sign an undertaking that if such a thing should repeat itself, he would be within his rights to disown me outrightly. My car was seized, and my account frozen. I was due to go do my Masters abroad, but that was cancelled. My parents feared I would get worse if I get overseas. My life quickly became a living hell, and remained so for some years.
Things are much better now. But the scar of what happened then still lives on in my house and family. I have accepted my fate and the new journey life has brought for me by my family’s knowledge of my sexuality. I am not even allowed to have male friends over in peace now without a few batting eyelids here and there. Something consequential happened and my father was prompted to out me to my extended family, home and abroad (story for another day).
What matters now though is that I am succeeding to be at peace with my life and sexuality.
Written by Teflondon
Hi teflondon,nice read.. I will be gentle cus u were 21 and obviously not too experienced and it’s not cool to kick a bro thts in de floor.. u wicked and mean bro… David is from de slum, u showed him a better life,u yanked it from him.. he stole from u, u went to a babalawo, at 21 shudders.. u sent him to police.. cus of ur social status.. my dear u were too quick to react.. David, gave u love and good dick, it’s natural for him to be jealous.. am not supporting him,for stealing from u but dear… for just some few phones and laptops.. u really went far, did u think ur actions wouldn’t bite u? this not a Kito story, this a karma story, a plaque u callously brought to urself. . Let’s all learn from this story,..
Nice story. Everybody got what they deserve.
Oh my! *shudder* Teflondon you have really been through a lot.
That said, you really did take David for granted you don’t treat people that way. He was wrong to steal your stuff yes, but seriously when someone cares for you the way he did from all narrations, the way you treated him could have karma knocking at your door and seriously you actually went to a witch doctor? hia! odikwa egwu
‘I was used to getting what I want whenever I want it.
‘He seemed to enjoy himself a lot in my company, you know, a guy from the slums.
‘I could feel the stares of the other catering staff on me, as they no doubt wondered what a rich, good-looking guy would be doing in that section of the party.’
And Chizzie thinks Dennis makes noise about his life? This dude puts the capital letters on Over-Bloated Sense Of Self.
Everybody says Dennis is egotistic and I agree somewhat, but this teflondon character is in a league of his own. So this is the story that you have been whinning and wailing about?
All i see in every paragraph is how rich your family is and how rich and good looking you are. You are so full of yourself that it is really sad and now i see where all the hate you spew comes from; classic case of low self esteem hence the need to overcompensate.
Your opening bit about kissing PP’s ass was done in very poor taste! You should come down from clouds a bit and if you ever do write again please sound like a human.
#FirstTimeCommenter #LongStandingReader
Hello Max ***batts eye lashes***
I think I know this Teflon don,he’s quite famous tho he’s a former friend and very nice.I never realized this happened to him,one of the reason I only hook up with comfortable men even though I get a lotta advances from so boys,its just too risky for me
This is not a kito story,but well-deserved comeuppance except for David.He didn’t deserve all that,Xbox or no.
A dark part of me wish such fate or worse on such as you sometimes.Ife onye cho,ko fu
Hmmm. The preamble was long ehn..
Oh, Chi’m; Rich Kids Of Gaverly Hills.
Well, this explains a lot of things about the snide remarks and other spices..
Teflondon..wat babaric act did u do? Babalawo keh!
@Teflondon: my dear,u tough,biko! Tougher than half-cooked ponmo! U went to bed with Kelvin but snuck into David’s room for hot make-up sex? And u pipu still got ur freak on in the police cell? Hian! Una too tough abeg!(Thank God d other prisoners didn’t insist on turning ur twosome into a party…)
U get mind to go babalawo house sha; I wouldn’t have thought it was that serious,lol (I hope your jazz didn’t eventually kill the dude, gabadaya?)
WOW!! Everyone was wrong… It was love, or lust gone bad… Nice read!!!
Teflondon, did you reverse the ‘charm’ you placed on him?
Wait oh, Nigerian cell mates told you that your bedroom antics should remain there? Inukwa! Your cell mates must either be enlightened or are not Nigerians.
*heart pressed over chest*
Oh dear!
My poor little dear, I do hope U’ve learnt how to treat people better. My heart truly goes out to U.
NB: I don’t know if U meant to brag or not, but wealth, money and social status make for very awkward conversational topics.
So the people serving food at the party you attended wondered what a rich kid was doing in their section? hmmmm…..I never knew riches is now written on the face….David no even do you anything, he should have sold off that Honda car. And no, this is not a Kito story. You were mean and heartless acting silly because you feel you can get away with anything just like the average Nigerian from a middle class home….except for few ones I know. Darling, your from a middle class home. There’s nothing rich or fairly rich about you or your story…..really rich folks hide themselves. And a really rich boy would never visit a babalawo just to get back a game, laptop and two phones. They will wave it off and move on….
Ok, this is this most irritating piece I’ve ever read here. Assuming this is true, I’d say you deserve what you got.
You’re a condescending and irritating human being. Now I see why pinky never bothered to post it, because its a cheaply written load of crap. Can’t believe I wasted my minutes in reading it. Unnecessarily long , boring and annoying.
Xbox never sold for 120k.. You’re a pathetic liar
He took your Xbox, laptop and two phones from the visitors room?? That doesn’t add up. Those items are supposed to be in your room.
You’re rich and couldn’t afford money to buy petrol? Or at least rent a room in a hotel to do your whoring??
You like low life’s, you know why? because you’re one.
People who are rich don’t talk about it, they rarely do. It’s just something you figure out for yourself.
Please do yourself a Favour and never write any stuff here again. This is the worst debut so far.
It’s better I remain mute on this piece. Hi PP! Kisses from Seychelles.
Well, well, well….
An interesting read.
TEF London, I sympathize with you on your ordeal. Its never a pleasant thing to have happen to you.
However, like some people have already pointed out, you brought this on yourself.
Frankly u thought the story would end after the theft of your properties.
From then on everything just appeared to spiral crazily out of reason.
I think the lessons are clear as crystal.
1) I certainly hope you’ve toned down on the “I’m wealthy card” cos it dripped all through the early part if the story. If I’m right, that was very likely what dictated the pace of events. Being an entitled rich kid you could camp 2 lovers under the same roof same night; you could pay a jazz man to deal with someone instead of cutting your losses; and organise a rofo-rofo fight nicely that eventually went south.
2) The police is never anybody’s friend. Everybody suppose know this one.
3) A kito may not necessarily arise from “set up”. This story has shown as much.
Once again, my sympathies Teflondon.
Chai..
Thank you Max for that comment. I dated a Governor’s niece….a girl whose mum is also a member of the state’s house of assembly for 4 good months before I found out myself who she really was. I had to figure it out myself. The point is really rich people hide because of security and not wanting to be disturbed or they are actually too busy living their fabulous lives to have time to tell you they are rich. I am not rich, but trust me I am from a comfortable home and I have mingled with the rich. I know exactly what am saying.
What’s that they say about empty vessels and loudest noise?
So this is it?
THIS IS THE STORY YOU’VE BEEN WHINNING ABOUT??!
The language of money is very brief.
Cold case of Over-developed sense of self importance!
it must be sad for boys to immediately see you and just think “sex” not even caring what else you have to offer.
Shit!
And about the “Ass-licking” intro..
Don’t be so humble, you’re not that great.
PP darling. It’s rolling in by weekend hopefully. You’ll know when it does.
Pinky was trying to save your sorry ass all the while.. But you were asking for it. You really did..
So after u nearly killed him with Babalawo Jazz…u went ahead to lock him up in the police cell in his frail state? And u coming bk thinking the story will be in ur favour even with their police relative. Plus a freak in the cell with other inmates? Or did u forget to add you were in the rich kids cell? hhmmmmm….this ur story is arguable. #make I go work biko
Wow Tef, no1 should ever have to go through this, you were really young and naive … i really feel sorry for you and LOL @ Khaleesi’s hell. What exactly is your obsession with ass kissing though? It seems once anyone appreciates a good post or comment or whatever you automatically label them ass kissers simply because they refuse to join in your weird penchant for irrational fault finding? Well, this story gives deeper insight into why you seem so angry @ the world, i can understand why you’d be bitter going forward and why you’d see the world in only dark and bleak hues, nevertheless its no excuse for you to always seek to drag others into your private hell to bake and stew with you. I truly am sympathetic over what you had to go through simply on account of your sexuality – a very natural thing! But you must somehow find it in you to move on,hun drop the bitterness and anger,it’ll harm you more in the long run, you were outed to your family – one of the worst fears any gay man can face, you stared that horror down and your still standing … move on and try to be the best you can be. And oh, referring to others as low-lifes, slum dwellers, scum etc and to yourself as classy, affluent, wealthy and blah blah blah … all i can say is – wealth and class can never hide themselves, if you’ve got it it’ll be clear for the world to see without you even having to say a word … the hullabaloo and noise you made trying to impress upon us how ‘wealthy and classy’ you and your family are, paints the true picture …. nevertheless this was an extremely good read!!! ***hugs***
Tef, do I know you? Cos the Tef I know is naturally egoistic and talks about his, no scratch that, his parents’ wealth and likes to take snap shot with rich billionaires to share on Instagram and Facebook.
Anyway, I guess I’m officially back. KD has been my support mechanism thru these four months.
+ I guess it’s in order to wish PP a happy …….I’ll complete it in 7 days time
Lol…y’all are way too mean! Hahaha…
Gaddamn *Pulls out huge fan* Social mobility in Nigeria is a real bitch. I’ve often wondered how gay men over here from different social groups interact. Thanks for clearing that up.
Where dem dey?
I don show.
Waiter, bring me one bowl of snake meat pepper soup with 5 bottles of Orijin.
It seems like this is gonna be fun.
I only came here to read comments. I can see KDians are not disappointing.
I stopped reading when u felt the need to constantly remind us that u are ( as u claim) affluent. This isnt secondary school bro, at the end of the day no one gives a shit about money that technically isnt urs but your parents’. If u were truly affluent as u claim, there wouldn’t be the need to seek validation by constantly referring to it over and over again. Truly affluent ppl would rather let their money speak for them than brag abt it on an anonymous blog.
The hand that wrote this story, if true, has a character flaw so broken that no empathy can glue the pieces. I find you graceless and tactless so much so that I will be in prayer never to come across an error like you.
Teflondon Honestly. Speaking you fucked up,Why you were banging Dave. You didn’t. Know dats someone like Kelvin. That’s the reason I say “Ders no true love in Glife Expect if outdoor service is Allowed. We are human you don’t expect David to keep. Mute. This is not. A Kito story. Using Voodoo dats off. The lImit. Becus you always get what you Wanted that’s why you wants to torments Davids Life. You. Use your Money why. He used his Mouth.#karma
This piece actually left me speechless.
It is quite obvious we like same kind of guys. Although, this is a sad story, there was a part of me that wished it was a fiction and did not happen, it would have made more sense. This is real and I cannot wish it away. I won’t deny the fact that I was turned on by some part of the story, especially the Police Cell scene, I was half hoping that the other inmates there would have taken turns screwing you guys. Wait, since you had your ‘freak’ on in a cell, that means you did not use condom….hmmm….anyway, back to the story. I really think you went too far. It just was not worth it, to say the truth, David or is it Kelvin now, the one that squeled, came out as the hero here. I really feel for him.
Now, I noticed some disturbing stuffs in your story, I hope you just used them to make the story interesting. Referring to your friends as guys from the ghetto and slum is a NO NO. I think they deserve more respect.
I have nothing against guys who use their money to get what they want. If you’ve got it, you flaunt it. There is nothing wrong in it. There are plenty guys out there who are willing to do anything for money, it is just business.
My issue is that, I just can’t understand why you discharged that guy like that. You could have actually spoken to him as a friend or broken up with him. It is quite obvious that he was attached to you, maybe he liked you, or maybe because of the money, which ever way, he wanted to be the only man in my life. How I wish someone could be jealous over me *sad face*
When I saw ‘I visited a babalawo’, I won’t lie to you, I was taken aback. I had to read it again, this time, a little more slowly. A 21 year old guy visiting a babalawo because of a game, laptop and 2 phones, all of which cannot be up to 500k, I wonder if you car is stolen what you would have done. It seems like you are quite rich, since you mentioned it, time and again, you could have let it go. I know that is what I would have done, you are even lucky you chop the akpako wella..my own whey be say they chop the small money whey I get, I no even see prick not to talk of person.
I noticed one thing sha, you are fearless and don’t really care. I could use a little of that in my life.
Now, I am very religious, I believe in the efficacy of babalawo powers, what have you done about it? Have you gone back to the babalawo to tell him to neutralise what you did? What exactly did they babalawo do and what did you pay or give him? Did you tell the guy about it? How is the guy faring now?
I am more concerned about the guy. I know it happened 5 years ago, but you really need to make sure that the guy is freed from whatever you did to him. Tell him to go to church for deliverance or something. Just make sure the guy knows.
Ahem, when you reported to the police, did it not occur to you things could escalate really really badly?
Ahem! Unlike Sinnex that had to reply every single person with very long thesis-like response when his kito story was up.. I’ll refuse to take that road.
Thanks to PP for posting this and hopefully someone might learn a thing or two.
As for those that said I was eager and everly waving my “Rich kid card” in their faces.. Biko I am sorry. I didn’t intend to sound proud or anything.. I felt I had to add certain details like my EOD and Fairly wealthy family.. So the readers could understand the exact circumstances surrounding my story.. Like why David had to do what he did and how police can easily change a case against someone when they find out you are from a rich home or gay. I’m sorry if I couldn’t deliver it better without sounding like I was bragging. Didn’t mean to.. Una hear? Lol
Ok maybe I like to brag alittle but we are all different, wired differently.. Lol
David is fine.. And yes we are still in contact. As for the babalawo thing I don’t know if it actually worked, what I did.. But I was young and pushed into doing something fetish like that. And I ain’t proud of it.
Those commenting ‘Blah’ ‘Blah’ ‘Blah’ cause to me it was just that.. I didn’t even bother to read some comments.
Just don’t forget.. This happened a while ago, it’s not recent.. I was young and wasn’t all that exposed as to the evils of the world. Not everyone grew up perfectly, some of us has done things we regretted later on in our life’s.. So this is just one of mine *So let that sink in before you wave your ugly judemental fingers at me*
I didnt write this for sympathy or empathy.. Although welcomed if gotten.. But the essence is for someone out there at this point doing exactly the things I did then to learn from my mistakes.
I rest my case!
Also, just went through the comments. What’s with all the backlash about him “bragging”…lol.. Is that the focus of this story?…
Smh.
Ý’all will ve to forgive me 4 not being my usual ” Dr Phil” self, but the wendy williams in me took over after reading this fuckery!
To the guy who dragged me here to read this trash, please this is to inform u that I’m not please cos u made me lose 1 hour of my life that I will never get back. Yes! One hour! Going through this crap is one of the most tedious read of my entire life.
To PP, How dafuq did this shit see the light of day
@ Tef! So I take it that this is the great revelation that u ve been wetting ur pants over, hounding the sanity of ppl on kd, the great epistemology that would save live, provide answers to the mystery of life? Provide cure 4 cancet and HIV/AiDS and maje the world a better place.? This is what you ve been having siezures and meltdowns over? **sigh****
1st of all, whats the name of that ur “prestigious private university” cos it needs to be shut down like yesterday. If this dog shit u call writing is what they produce there, then the state of nigeria’s educational system is worse than we all thought.
Booboo we all know that this thesis you decided to curse us with today is dripping with lies thicker than cow dung. I guess thats the reason for ur failed attempt at giving urself a soft landing by telling us its not fiction “like some ppl” child.! Ve several seats.
I thought u lived in abuja just the other day when u and sinnex were busy gushing over each other? How come ur 120k xbox made its way to computer village in lagos? (Abi computer village de abj 2*pls im genuinely asking oooo, Im 2 broke to leave lagos so if im wrong, feel free to enlighten me). fine dad was never home,, where did mom fall out from when u were locked up. I noticed that ur brother only made 2 appearances in the script?? Its like he is not a regular cast in this film. I tot davido’s family ppl knew u? I mean dem collect “aso ebi” 4 grandpa burial 4 u? So how come u nofit find am when u need am?? U must ve a lot of tablets, phones and pads cos that would explain why they can still ve mama davido’s number after months ir weeks of him using the device. Im just guesssing u ve a whole lot and barely ve time to use em all? And u guys ” got ur freaks on” afteru got him beaten and locked up, after u ve been shame and accused of sodomy, while other cell mates where there……….in naija? U and ur roughnecks unlawfully arrested him and took him to a station while the family friend who happens ti be a police man was present and he agreed with u guys in picking the station of choice, and u just got to the station and the immediately started beating him and locked him up afterwards…………..just like that? Ok! I think I need a “laugh break” ! Hahaha. I
Honey booboo I get it. U wanna be seen and be heard, but chile! This aint it. This is just try hard overload.
PP love this aint no kito story. The title should ve been “Fake it till u make it” and lorde’s royal would make a great sound track choice.
And if u happen to be rich as u claim (which I seriiusly doubt) u need a lesson in composure and carriage ……..justjames says HI
This nigga must think we are a bunch of 12year olds to gulp down this fairy gist. Sorry but my lieometer went off the chain in the 1st paragraph and just broke midway through ur epistle. At leadt some ppl sound like they were entertained.
Thanks for sharing your story. It was an interesting read and holds many lessons.
I want to believe you still remember the incident because it was seminal in your life and you’ve mulled over it in a bid to mine lessons from it. Experience is said to be the best teacher and learning from other’s experience is much smarter than having the same ourselves. I guess this is one of the main reasons you shared your story.
I would also like to add that it is appalling that you had to sleep in a cell just because you are gay. It is an injustice that society has meted out on you and I am glad you’re holding up despite the fall out.
I think another story I would like to read is how your family reacted on finding out your sexuality and how you withstood that storm.
All the best going forward and next time ‘look before you leap…’ though I think you know that already.
I live in magodo, I’m middle class and i always mentain social class when making friends straight or gay if you do not live in an estate or a “GRA” if u live in places like abule egba ,ketu ,bariga i will ignore u it’s what has kept me safe over the years and i was brought up to never (ba oloshi so’re) be friends with the poor. I don’t also take my gay friends to my house only the ones i wanted to impress but we no longer live in the house i was so proud of(lawyers and bank issues) my advice to you is don’t let it get into your head wealth can fly away ask the pple that lost millions in the stock market, there is this saying in yoruba called “olowo atijo” meaning was once rich!
Rigggghtttt, so it’s finally here and failed to make the epic impact that the noise making prior to now was intended for. Just like a movie that got so much hype and failed at the box office.
Ass kissing protocol? Seriously child, even though this happened 5years it still came off as the naive 21 year old you so claimed to have been back then. You have definitely grown old, but you haven’t grown up.
Karma is a big bitch isn’t she? She loves to serve it hot with some peppers. This isn’t a kito story, this is a karma story. Pinky adjust this title accordingly Biko. HIS KARMA STORY (Epsiode 1)
It’s ok to talk about your wealth (that’s if you’re truly wealthy though) but what doesn’t fly is that you’re an uncouth SOB. Am not buying that story of being 21 and naive, good manners doesn’t come with age or experience. Referring to others as lowlifes and from the slums is just classless to say the least. You once stated here that you are always in support of the minority and defender of their cause on this blog, yet you use such derogatory term with such ease, that it causes one to wonder if you’re really a defender of the so called minority.
Just because you “feel entitled” doesnt give you the right to play with people’s feelings, if you only wanted a fuck buddy arrangement with David, you should have simply made things clear when you noticed he was falling in love, like I said good manner doesn’t come with age, the proper thing would have been to clear the air about where you and he both stood. If all else fails then you break up with him.
Then let’s get down to the other unimportant details:
– Xbox for 120k? Who are you looking to deceive with that one? Was it a limited edition or did it come with a gold casing?
– also you left your xbox in the guest room? Hian!! If this was fiction it would be ok, but any serious gamer has his console right next to him, so why was yours in Jerusalem and you were sleeping in Jericho.
– and you guys got down and dirty after being locked up? I see
This piece is worse than a movie featuring Adam Sandler in it. It wasn’t the least bit entertaining abeg
1. I see that the writer, Teflondon, leverages his wealth to fuck men who aren’t as rich as he is. Good luck with that. It seems a bit disgusting but the poorer kids seems to be into it so we just have to improve the standard of living so men won’t be fucking for Blackberry. Chai.
2. Love isn’t seeing a man at a party and making him a sex associate.
3. David is still scum. He was dumped, so he stole? This is why Nigeria can’t be great. Excuses for all sorts of criminal behavior.
Haaaayyyyy y’all are being a bit very too harsh on the criticism!
Yes, the story is a bit annoying, but many rich kids seem to have a similar affliction that Teflon Don has. I’m not excusing his actions tho.
And from the comments it seems Teflon has done some things here on KD to rifle feathers. I wouldn’t know, me I’m guest appearer here. But with this story I dunno, Maybe y’all can try and understand him more?
U were broke and Tolu told u David is in for money yet u asked him to come over, knowing well that u had no kobo in ur pocket?
U got Kelvin cheaply like that even wen its obvious that u aint a Drop Dead HOT GUY every guy dreams to laid in bed with.
He was looking fragile and sick yet u locked him up and David was still stupid enough to have sex with u even in such an unfriendly environment?
Did he save his mother’s number on your notepad or that was the only number on that notepad coz i really cant figure how u could remember that it was his mum’s number.
Your Father’s PA came to bail u, police saw ur EOD hence they collected 300k for bail?
*sigh* This is the fakest story i’ve ever read in my life, the only real thing in this story is your pseudonym.
PP God bless u for not posting this story all this while (although it wld have bin better if u had posted it on April 1st so it cld pass for APRIL FOOL).
#1stTimeCommenterHere
Okay It appears I am late to the party
***crosses legs, sips coffee and nearly chokes from laughter***
Hmmmm…this story might have rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, it might not be ‘entertaining’ enuff to some ppl, it might too unrealistic to some ppl…but one thing is for sure: the story got us TALKING! Over 100 comments,and it’s barely afternoon! I won’t even lie, I’m getting my life with this thread…LOL!
SN: Sinnex and Tef,I thought it was really cute,when u guys seemed to be forming a sort of connection(the romantic in me liked the unconventional idea of “finding ur soulmate on the pages of a blog” lol), but now,I don’t understand the slightly salty comments u guys are exchanging here…I was really rooting for u guys,in a weird way o; abeg make una no fall my hand. #OkBye
Beware of McArdry and McGray. THey think robbery is a fair punishment for jilting people. O di ka egwu
😀 Yimu @ Santa.
Hahah abeg how did u go from being dead broke to having ur account frozen??? ***sigh****
So many questions and zero answers.
Since when do writers write stories and come back to do multiple editing, backtracking, jara and fisi biko nu? I swear I would ve just swallowed this rubble gently like nofin happen, but the hype and trailer of this story literally left us all on the edge of our sits only to get this manuscript of lies?
Hot mess I tell ya **in my wendy williams voice served with a dramatic eyeroll**
Chizzie baby, where are you? Posts like this one makes me look forward to your comment.
That said, We all make mistakes! Damn! People can be some quick to turn on their halos. Tefledon, I understand your need to show your social status to better aid understanding of the circumstances that surrounded the event and it was poorly done. Let me just believe it is your inability to write that resulted in your not so subtle way of highlighting your social status.
But to those saying this was a boring publication and still went ahead to critical review it like they did is just plain lies, this story was scandalous and jaw-dropping than most stories on this blog. Chill button.
You made a mistake, hopefully you are remorseful about it and did what you did in the heat of anger. My advice, next time you are angry, take a moment or two to think of the repercussions. If I did half the things I imagined when I was angry, I probably would have a human head in a shoe box in my room.
What?! Eh Kere? *blinking innocently*
Wait, Pinky, did the “my tan-tan is bigger than yours” post gather this much comments? Lol.
@TefLondon, if you had any doubt as to the depth of the distaste that KDers have towards you, well, here’s your proof, on the other hand, i think this post has garnered the highest number of commments ever … am not too sure sha, …
This story will go down in KD’s history. @Tef the witches in your village are working overtime!! LET THE EARTH BURN!!!
OKAY. I’M A LITTLE DISSAPOINTED AT THE COMMENTS HERE. NO OFFENSE BUT WE ARE ALL ‘MEN’ HERE. NOT IRRITABLE WOMEN… THERES A WAY TO CRITICISE WITHOUT ABUSING, ITS JUST SOMEHOW…
*slowly fading away before i become target no2*
Cheap