The Nigerian Businessman is like the US Cake Baker

This is me, jejely downloading the films and series that I watch for myself, on my own data.

Then Glo reduces their data drastically and I decide to outsource the movie download to a friend of mine who does movie downloads and all sorts of media stuff for a living. A movie is 200 bucks. I don’t mind. It’s just 200 naira. As long as you can get whatever movie I ask you to get. He says he can.

I give him a list. On it are ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Friends and Family’. Two days later, he says he can’t find ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Friends and Family’. But he has gotten everything else on my list. I give a knowing nod to myself and tell him to keep looking.

A couple days later, he asks me for when I am coming to take the movies. I ask if he has gotten the remaining two. He says no. I tell him to keep looking, that I will come for my movies when he has gotten the complete list. He says he can’t find them.

But then I hit up the torrents site, and there they are, the torrent files for ‘Beach Rats’ and ‘Family and Friends’, two gay-themed movies I want to see, but somehow, it would seem their rainbow colours have blinded my friend from locating them.

So I ask him this morning whether he downloads with torrents (of course I know he does); my intention is to send him the torrents files myself since he is so bad at his job in locating them. He must have guessed what my intent is, because then he sends me this in response.

“I don’t do SUCH”? What SUCH is that please? What did I ask you to do, suck my dick? SMH. Like the baker who won’t bake the gay wedding cake in the US, Nigerians will apparently sink a business relationship than give a customer what he wants. And that’s just sad.

I don’t blame him sha. I blame Glo. When they decided to downgrade themselves from the godfather of data to the level of other Nigerian networks, they set the stage for idiocy like this.